Of Baddies and Beasties and Squigglidoos
by Axie Flamesilocks
Summary: *SLASH* Sora and Riku enter the world of Zenith, where much is random, much is strange, and much is darkly perilous. Don’t come looking for llamas and unicorns—you won’t get them. You will get fruit, though. Lots of fruit. Rating may change. Update: 11/11
1. What the Fuck

It was summertime on Destiny Islands, which meant Satan had arisen and farted hellfire throughout the air. The humidity got so thick in the summertime that I sometimes thought you could drop a feather from two stories up and it'd take three hours to reach the ground.

And it was taking about that long that morning as I waited on Dr. Strauss. The waiting room was empty—lunch hour looming—but for me and the secretary. The last patient had left about ten minutes ago, which made me worried. I was supposed to be back by noon, anyhow, and the clock was ticking closer as I slumped in the chair, hands jammed in my pockets and eyes dully turned towards the television, where some cooking show was going on. It wasn't even anything unusual—I'd come for a vaccine, that was all, since Mom insisted I get one after the brief meningitis outbreak on the news. It happened in Twilight Town, she'd said, which was far from here, but it was still frightening to think about, especially since I was considering going to college there.

I turned to the secretary, who was putting on lipstick and trying to look busy at the same time. "Uh, I don't want to sound impatient, but," I began, shifting up into an actual sitting position, "how much longer is this gonna take? I'm just here for a shot."

She had clapped her mirror shut the second I'd spoken, and looked at me with painted on eyebrows raised innocently above her eyes. As she absorbed the question, she chewed her lip thoughtfully, obviously not certain herself and trying to come up with something. "He should be out in a minute," she said simply. "Sometimes it takes a little while to switch gears."

I wanted to point out that ten minutes was more than a little while, and that it was a little hypocritical for a doctor who insisted I be here at ten thirty _exactly_ to be ten minutes late for the appointment. But I knew it wouldn't do any good, even if it had been the doctor sitting there instead of his bimbo of a secretary. So I hunkered down in the seat again and sighed.

Suddenly voices rang out from behind the door to the rest of the office, and both of us jerked to attention. We listened for a time as they diminished somewhat, and then there was an unsettling crash. I looked at the secretary, who was looking at me like she wanted _me_ to go in there and figure it out. My incredulity at this must've shown on my face, because she bit her lip again and hastened away. I heard her voice join the others, soft and consoling, and then a louder crash made me jump to my feet. What was going _on_ in there?

An explosion.

It knocked me off my feet and I flew up like a rag doll, so suddenly I didn't even have time to flail my limbs or scream. I entered the dreamy state of falling, where it feels like it simply cannot be happening, everything just kind of slows down and feels all slick and transparent, and—

Reality clobbered me in the head in the form of the floor, and I almost screamed. It felt like my shoulder had shattered on impact, and I rolled across the carpet and into a wall, stunned and unable to move. When the redness cleared from in front of my eyes, I tried to move, but my legs wouldn't obey. Something was whispering in my ear faintly, something I didn't really recognize, but at the time I was too sluggish from the blast to mark it as a point of concern.

The room was filled with smoke that seemed to sizzle on its way down my throat, but I was helpless. It seemed like I should have been able to get up, should have been able to move—but a strange weakness was spreading steadily over my body. I began to wheeze as my chest constricted, hoping someone would hear me, someone would find me…

"…had to go and make a mess back there, this is all your stupid fault…"

A voice as familiar as reality itself, and yet I couldn't seem to connect it to anyone. Everything was so foggy and hazy and smoky, and the whispering in my ears seemed to be getting louder.

"I didn't know it'd do that!" came an indignant response. The voice seemed a little lighter than the first, with a funny, almost guttural intonation. "How was I supposed to know it'd do that? I thought it was bluffing!"

"Even if it was a bluff, it would be stupid to take that kind of risk. It got away."

"_He_ didn't, though. It won't be able to use him anymore."

The owner of the familiar voice sighed. "No, but there's no telling how many people he managed to infect. This is going to take ages…"

They were getting closer now, and I could make out shapes in the smoke. One was shorter and walked with one hand in his pocket, and the other seemed extremely angular, with his hands running through his hair as he sighed heavily. I tried to shift, tried to get closer so maybe they'd see me…

"It's got to be around here somewhere," the second voice was saying. "It won't have gotten far. No patients around…"

My shoulder struck the wall and I let out a strained gasp. Heads turned in my direction, and I tried to figure out if that was good or bad. It seemed like they were responsible for the explosion, which didn't imply anything good, but they were honestly my only hope of getting out of here at present. Mom wouldn't be looking for me until noon, and with the doctor probably gone and the secretary wounded (if not dead)…was there anyone else on call right now? _Probably out to lunch,_ I thought sourly.

"Live one," the familiar voice said, approaching. "Wait—is that—oh, god! Sora!"

The revelation lurking at the edges of my consciousness manifested itself in a weak whisper then. "Ri…Riku," I managed, almost crying with relief. It occurred to me that he was supposed to be at his summer job right now on completely the other side of the island, but that didn't matter. All that mattered right now was that I knew I was safe.

Riku knelt beside me, reaching out. The other man had been approaching as well, but now he leapt back with a startled shout. "Don't touch him!" he snapped at Riku. "Do you see them?"

Riku, who had shot him an angry look, faltered and looked down at me. "No," he said in an uncertain, almost frightened voice.

"Look. Look hard."

Riku's eyes widened then, and he gasped sharply. "They're…they're all over him!"

On cue, the whispering in my ears intensified, and my chest tightened painfully. Panic gripped me, and I struggled to calm down, tried to focus on breathing. In…out…in…out…

"Where're the spyurts?" Riku demanded of the shadowy form behind him, too buried in smoke to make out who it was. "We've got to get the spyurts before they—!"

"Went up with the kit," his partner cut him off, shaking his head. "We can't even touch him with all those things on him…"

"If we go back it'll be too late!" Riku made a frustrated sound and pinched the bridge of his nose, looking under his fingers at me with desperation in his eyes. "Burn them," he said finally. "Burn them off. We've got to get them off!"

"No."

"We can't let them get inside him! I…I don't want to have to…"

"I know that, but I'm _not_ lighting the kid up," his companion told him sharply. "The flame'll hit his skin in no time, and by then I won't be able to control it."

"Axel, _please_—!"

"The answer is no," Axel told him shortly. The two of them looked down at me, Riku trying to restrain himself from something—maybe punching Axel's lights out or doing something to help me, I don't know. It was difficult enough to breathe, and more so to concentrate on what was going on, but the sudden tear that streaked down Riku's cheek as he stared at me with blazing eyes was enough to get my attention.

"I won't do this," he half-whispered, standing. "I will _not_ look into his eyes and kill him. I _won't_. Not again."

"Riku."

The silver-haired boy stopped and looked over at his companion, biting his lip to hide the fact that it was trembling. Axel put a hand on his shoulder securely, as if he thought Riku was going to shake into bits right there. "It'll be all right," he said firmly, each word like a stone. "We will _not_ lose him."

Riku didn't say anything, several moments passing as the two of them just stared each other down. Then pain exploded behind my left ear, and I let out a strangled groan. Both of them turned to look at me, Riku drawing in a gasp. "They're…they're…!" he managed, almost panting the words in a torrent of disbelief. "W-what do we do?" he demanded more than asked of Axel, his eyes desperate.

"We wait," Axel said simply. "You won't want to watch this," he added, taking Riku by the shoulder and turning him firmly away from me.

The pain grew stronger and I bit into the carpet to stifle a shout, feeling the sickening sensation of something crawl into my mouth as I did. But I didn't have the will do to anything to stop it—reality was too blurred and painful. I was no longer even aware of Axel and Riku's presence in the room, but the weight had lifted from my chest for the time being.

The whispering, though…the whispering only grew stronger. It stopped coming from right next to my ears and started to resonate everywhere…from within…

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I'm not sure how long I was out, but when I came to, I could feel the limp sway of my legs as someone carried me, and heard a faint crackling noise from below. I blinked slowly and smelled Riku, the faint paopu undertones bringing back years and years of memories. There was still a faint whispering in my ears, and it felt like I'd eaten something old and grimy, like a pair of used gym socks.

I murmured faintly and Riku stopped. "He's waking up," he called, and in the next moment two pairs of eyes were above me as Axel joined us. Without the veil of smoke, now I could see the shock of red hair that seemed to explode behind him. He withdrew, and then I smelled something sharp and bitter. The scent brought me back into reality, suddenly awake and aware, and I realized Axel was holding half of a lime under my nose.

"There we are," he said, his jet green eyes glowing as a faint smile worked at the edges of his lips. He gently brought one of my hands up to grip the lime. "Keep this nearby. They don't like it. It makes their antennae sting."

I almost dropped the lime at that. _Antennae?!_

Riku was putting me down, though, and I felt a bit nauseous as something prickly shifted in what felt like my stomach. "What…what the hell…is inside me?" I managed, stumbling slightly and accepting Riku's support. I looked down and realized we were standing on what looked like pink sand, but it didn't swish like sand did—it was thicker and grittier, and let out loud crackles as I moved, sounding a bit like that crispy rice cereal stuff. There were no walls around us—it looked like the sand just stretched on and on into blackness. The only light came from the sand itself, which seemed to be glowing.

"Bugs," Axel said bluntly, returning my attention to him, and I noticed he was wearing a very bright red-gold shirt. Or wait…no, that was…that was _fur_! What the _hell_?

Starting just under his chin, and ending just under his ribcage and wrists, Axel was coated with golden red fur that seemed to flicker when he moved. It wasn't hair, either—it was far too thick for it to be hair. It was fur, like on a cat. _Fur_. There might have even been more than that, but he was wearing a pair of leather pants, and I wasn't exactly eager to find out.

Once I managed to get my mind around this, I returned to the unfortunate word he'd spouted just then. "B…bugs?" I repeated, feeling about to faint.

"Heartless," Axel said with a nod, "though they take the shape of bugs. In short, they're slimy little black creatures with gold eyes, and in this case they have eight legs and a double pair of antennae. About that big," he added, holding his fingers about two inches apart.

I wavered on my feet, and Riku quickly put an arm around my waist to steady me. "I'm gonna be sick," I moaned. Under normal circumstances, I probably would've disregarded this notion of bugs under my freaking skin, but the dude for one was covered in _fur_ that I could see and probably touch if I wanted to, and for another I could _feel_ the things inside me. It was a truly terrifying feeling that made me want to go take a five-year shower and maybe swallow two tubs of bleach.

"Then do it in a hurry, because we have to keep going," Axel replied, looking around distractedly. "Not much farther," he said to Riku.

"C'mon," Riku said to me, hefting one of my arms around his shoulders and gripping my belt with the other. I grunted and tried to move, but he did most of the work, shoes crunching into the pink sand as we went.

"Where the hell are we?" I asked wearily, feeling the urge to slap at myself all over, but I couldn't due to pure exhaustion.

"This is…uh…" Riku frowned at Axel's back, as if that would provide some sort of an explanation. "Well, we're headed for Zenith—that's Axel's native world. He doesn't look like that back home," he added quickly, and a jolt went through my system. Where exactly was "back home?" Two blocks over? An ocean away? On _Earth_?

Riku briefly let go of my wrist to scratch at his temple. "This is…this is, kind of…" He sighed then. "It'll probably be better when you come back around. Axel can explain it then, I'm still not very good at it. He's a Phoenix, by the way."

"A what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "He bursts into flames on a regular basis?" I added before Riku could answer that.

"Well, yes—but he doesn't die of it. He's not a phoenix by our definition—it's a quality of this world," Riku said then. "They've got…they've got a lot of different occupations here. Phoenix happens to be one of them."

"Uh-huh. And what does he do exactly?"

"Controls fire. It's useless on him, too."

"I'll buy that," I muttered. After all, I had an infestation happening inside my _flesh_. Believing that a guy with fiery fur could also control the damned element wasn't too far for my mind to jump. "This has _got_ to be a dream…" That's right, a dream. All just a stupid nightmare from too much chocolate and too little sleep. But _why_, then, was it so vivid? "_Please_ be a dream!"

"I wish it was," Riku murmured from above, his eyes still on Axel. "Hey, how much longer?" he called.

"Here we are!" Axel called then, bending down next to a random patch of pink. He seemed to be writing something with his finger and murmuring. Riku drew closer, and I could see he was writing out the alphabet.

The…alphabet. Okay…

"You left out N," Riku told him helpfully.

"I know."

"Um…why?" I asked then.

"Because M-O-P spells mop," Axel replied as if he was explaining a simple math problem.

I looked at Riku, and was relieved to see he looked just as flabbergasted as I felt. "Yes," Riku said as if he didn't trust his own voice. "Yes it does, Axel. How does that help us?"

Axel let out a frustrated, hopeless sigh, like a professor who knows his students have no chance of grasping an extremely complex theory. "N-O-P won't get us there," he said. "To go anywhere at all with that, I'd have to take out Q and F, and then we'd end up near Andromeda. And that's going backwards," he added, finishing Z with three swift strokes.

"This guy's a _kook_," I whispered to Riku, my voice rising in pitch sharply for emphasis.

"He knows what he's doing," Riku replied, but he didn't look convinced.

Axel stood and studied his handiwork, and then, to our combined horror, drew a foot across the entire thing. Ignoring our strangled gasps of incredulity, he deliberately blinked, and then looked around with a satisfied smile. "Okay. C'mon," he called, starting away.

"Axel!" Riku called angrily. "Axel, why di—?" But then he stopped speaking.

I turned to say something to him, but then blinked, and suddenly realized we were in a corridor. I couldn't explain it—one minute, miles and miles of pink sand, and the next, elaborate white columns. Axel was getting ahead of us, so we exchanged "what the fuck ever" glances and moved along.

Axel stopped at a doorway that was blocked off with solid glass but for a hole towards the center, and we looked in to find it was a library. A blue-haired man whose body below the neck seemed to be made out of shadow was seated on a cushiony chair across from us, absorbed in a book. "Morning, Zexion," Axel called.

"Password," Zexion replied impassively, turning a page without looking up. "You got it for me?"

"Not yet," Axel said, and looked around the room. After a few moments, he looked back at Zexion with a smirk. "Billabong."

"Incorrect."

"Yeah, I know. Billabong."

I started to wonder if maybe Axel was retarded.

"Right. Move along," Zexion told him, waving a shadowy hand dismissively.

The door slid open and allowed us in, and Axel strode on past Zexion and up the stairs. "Riku," I said then. "Uh."

"I know. I don't…I don't know."

"None of this makes any sense."

"I know."

I glared at the wall as we passed it, trying to _make_ it make sense. Had Zexion just let us through because Axel annoyed him? But he hadn't been annoyed—he'd said that was _right_. It would be fine if there was something emblazoned on the wall, maybe, like "Billabong 2x" or whatnot, but there was nothing in the room to even suggest that particular password. Was it going to be like this the whole time we were here? I suddenly missed Dr. Strauss's office.

Axel was waiting at the top of the stairs for us, looking impatient. "Think it'd be faster to carry him?" he asked Riku. "He's going pretty slow, even with the lime."

I suddenly remembered I had it, and moved it closer to my nose, feeling the bugs inside me retreat in the general direction of my spleen. I was getting used to the smell, though, and it scared me to think that they might do that, too.

"It might be more the shock than anything else," Riku pointed out. "Axel, you didn't tell me—"

Axel sighed loudly. "Look. I could probably spend years explaining the delicate workings of this world, but we haven't got that kind of time. Just suffice it to say that this world works on completely different fundamentals—they're things that take a lifetime to learn. Just like yours."

"Ours make _sense_," I muttered sourly.

Axel shot me an exasperated look. "Okay. All right. What happens when you drop a ball and it hits the floor?"

"It bounces, probably," Riku replied.

"Exactly. That's a fundamental. That's something you know no matter what. Here, though, you can't drop a ball and have it do anything close to bouncing."

I suddenly wished for a ball, just to drop it and prove him wrong.

"In fact, it's dangerous, supposing it's under perfect conditions. If you drop a perfectly round surface to strike a perfectly straight one, it'll create a hanger…" Axel put his hands on his hips and cursed at the ceiling. "Even _that's_ too complicated, you have to employ the rule of mess, and understand cycles…" He shook his head. "We'll be out of here in no time. Let's just go, all right? You can pretend it's all a dream or something later."

Riku agreed with that, probably deciding to employ that kind of thinking the moment he got the chance, and we shuffled after Axel as he moved down the hallway, counting the doors. "Seventy…twelve…eight…ten…nine," he said, stopping at the seventh door. I tried to make sense of this, realized that I couldn't, and wanted to kick something.

Axel knocked, and a voice several pitches lighter than his called out in response. The door opened on a young blond man, his hair caught up in a mullet, and I noticed that he had nothing particularly strange about him. Well—he had a bit of glitter on his face, but that wasn't as strange as being furry or shadowy. "Sorry," he said with an apologetic smile. "The clams are a little vicious today…it's not a good time for—"

"We need to access the database, Demyx," Axel told him.

Demyx looked uncomfortable. "You can't go to Xemnas?" he asked plaintively. "I thought you two were close…"

"Xemnas is at the chicken festival," Axel informed him, "and it'd take him weeks to approve it anyhow. We haven't got weeks."

Aqua-colored eyes widened then. "What is it? An infestation? A substitution? Brandy?"

"_No_," Axel told him swiftly, putting his hands on the other man's shoulders, since it looked like Demyx was about to panic. "_Not_ brandy. An infestation. We need to find someone compatible," he explained.

Demyx nodded, and I suddenly realized that it wasn't glitter on his face—it was clusters of little scales that caught the light as he moved. Still, that almost passed for normal. Aside from the mullet, maybe.

"All right," he said, drawing back. "Come in."

He turned around, and I realized a very long, very scaly pair of tails were coming out of the small of his back, poking out under his shirt. "Oh, sorry," Axel said then. "Guys, this is Demyx. He's a Naiad. Demyx, Riku and Sora," he introduced us quickly.

"Nice to meet you!" Demyx said, turning with an enthusiastic smile.

"Hey," Riku managed, and I waved.

"I guess you're our infestation case," the Naiad added, looking me over. "Recent?" he asked Axel.

"Yeah. Got him over here as soon as his skin was clean."

"Good thinking," Demyx murmured, nodding. "I'm guessing you were out of spyurts?"

"Unfortunately, yes. The Heartless inside that doctor guy threatened to explode, and I called its bluff," Axel explained remorsefully. "If Riku hadn't thrown the shield up, it might've gotten one of us."

Demyx made a hissing sound through his teeth, and looked at Riku suddenly. "That…that wouldn't end well."

"No it would not," Axel agreed shortly as we moved on into the room, and he made a beeline for the computer.

There's only one word to describe Demyx's room.

Clams.

There were clams _everywhere_. All over the walls and ceiling, but blessedly not the floor, and the furniture was _made_ out of the things. They were all different shapes, sizes, and colors, so a wave of rainbow fans hit our eyes as we entered, and it took Riku and me several moments to adjust. When we finally did, we looked at one another, as if we were amazed to find that we weren't made out of clams as well.

"Clams," Riku said.

"Yeah," I said.

"Wow."

"Might want to set Sora down somewhere," Axel suggested over where he was seated in a clam chair next to Demyx. The blond was working the only thing in the whole room that _wasn't_ made out of clams, which was the computer.

Riku helped me over to one of the chairs, and was gingerly lowering me towards the seat when we heard a sharp hiss. Both of us turned to see that _every clam on the damn chair_ had opened up to reveal regiments of needle-sharp teeth.

My first thought was that clams don't have teeth.

My second involved clinging to Riku and burying my face in his shoulder, whimpering, "I wanna go home."

"Oh—yeah, put him on the floor instead," Demyx advised. "The clams are reacting to the Heartless in him."

Finding this idea sound, Riku quickly moved me to the middle of the floor, far away from any clams, and let me down. I, however, wouldn't let him go, and he ended up just sitting there beside me, letting me hold on. It wasn't like he could blame me—as I was soon to find out, he had seen some pretty weird stuff already. Not _this_ weird, no, but weird enough to sorta kinda prepare him for something on this level. I had seen no such stuff, and was therefore not in the mood to let the only thing that connected me to a sane and sensible world get any distance away from me.

Meanwhile, Axel and Demyx were having an interesting conversation by the computer.

Demyx hit a button. "Banana."

"No."

"Banana."

"No."

"Banana."

"No."

"Avocado."

"No, Demyx, I already said no avocado!" Axel snapped impatiently.

I snorted into Riku's shoulder and he started laughing too, struck by the utter nonsense of it.

"Dunno what's with them," Axel said sourly as Demyx shot us a curious look. "Check plum. I've got a good feeling about plum." He shifted in his chair, smacking a clam on the armrest that had been about to bite him.

Demyx made an uncertain sound. "That's awfully far away…"

"Doesn't matter. I bet he's in plum. That's closer to the islands, right?"

"In theory," Demyx said, and grudgingly typed something in. I looked up and could see between them that it read "SORA X." A layout of results began to appear.

"Isolate the males," Axel told him. "We know it won't be a girl."

Demyx looked hesitant. "Sometimes it is," he replied uncertainly. "I mean, you would sort of be the expert—"

"Shut up," Axel said sharply, shaking his head. "They're too rare, and we don't have time." Demyx sighed at that and hit a few buttons.

"First one. Rosax." The Naiad turned and glanced at me. "Nope…"

"Try Axors," Axel advised, pointing at the screen.

"Sounds too much like Axel," Demyx remarked, but pulled him up anyway.

"Eh," the Phoenix muttered as a picture popped up of a bright, green-eyed boy with brown hair. "Sora, how old are you?" he asked then.

Demyx frowned. "That's not always a reliable—"

"Fifteen," I called. Whatever got us out of here fastest.

"Isolate the fifteen-year-olds," Axel ordered.

Demyx did that, and made an agreeable sound. "Oh, good. Only ten. Maybe we can check avocado afterward."

"Demyx, for the _third_ time—!"

"Oh! Blue eyes here," Demyx called, and both of them spent a few moments looking back and forth between me and the picture. "Nope," he said, and Axel nodded in agreement. They moved on to the next.

"Uh, what's going on?" I asked finally.

"They're looking for your other," Riku explained. "The one person in this world compatible with you. He can get rid of the infestation."

"Assuming he isn't dead," Axel volunteered comfortingly.

"Eight more," Demyx said then. "Sarox, Roxas, Xoras, Oraxs, Zo—Zaw—Zow—damn, Xoars, another Axors, another Roxas, and Sraox," he rattled off, stumbling a bit when he hit "Xoars."

"Check the first Roxas," Axel told him, leaning forward and smacking another clam.

"Roxas? Why?"

"I dunno. I like that name," Axel said, shrugging. "Makes me think of chocolate or something bad for you. Something too perfect."

Demyx shot him a weird look.

"_What_."

"Nothing…"

A picture popped onscreen. "Ugh. No. Red hair," Demyx said. "Maybe Oraxs."

But Oraxs was a no, too. Then they clicked another, and Axel leaned in close. "Very close," he said then. "Blue eyes, the hair's not really that far off…you think blond is a close enough bet?"

Demyx sucked his breath in between his teeth, squinting disbelievingly. "I dunno. Something's off…"

"Riku, c'mere," Axel said, and I released him. "This look enough like Sora to you?"

I watched as Riku bent over, obscuring my view of the screen and putting a hand on Axel's chair to steady himself. He shifted his weight nervously. "It's close," he said. "The hair's too light…the hair's just way too light. Something's not right."

"The eyes are the right shade, aren't they?" Axel asked, frowning.

"Yeah, but…" Riku snapped his fingers. "Ears. His ears are too big, and they're sticking out too far. See that? Sora's don't do that."

"Definitely not him?" Demyx asked. "Just to be sure."

"No. It's not him," Riku said confidently, and moved away.

"Not Sraox, then," Demyx said, and clicked back to the main page with a sigh. "I don't think we're gonna find him here. Plum's too far away to begin with, too backwater. I still say we try banana or banana, they're densely populated, and we're not stuck all the way out there if we're wrong."

Axel shot him a pleading look. "One more?"

"Sure. Why not," Demyx muttered, knowing full well that it would turn into "one more" after that and "one more" after that.

"Try the other Roxas," Axel urged, and Demyx smacked him in the back of the head.

"This is about Sora's survival, not your taste in names," he grumbled, but grudgingly pulled up the boy's file.

Silence.

The Phoenix poked Demyx in the shoulder. "You owe me a _soda_."

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Author's Note: Yes. Zenith has a habit of defying logic. But allow me to explain: I read this lovely little horror book called John Dies at the End, which was breathtakingly random, and then read part of the Discworld series, which was spectacularly random. And then I decided to do something similar to JDatE, only with Kingdom Hearts, and with EVEN MORE RANDOM. So far I can't say I've succeeded, but I've probably twisted at least a couple of brains into pretzels.

Pairings: I have no idea what's going to happen, to be bluntly honest. I pretty much handed the reins over to the characters for this romp in the hay, so everything you see above was completely their decision. It basically works like this: I say one thing, they say another, and they inevitably get their way. That's also the reason behind Sora's bursts of creativity in the narrative. At the moment, we're having a bitter squabble between Sora, Kairi, and Riku as to the signature pairing: Kairi's pushing for Riku, Riku's pushing for Sora, and Sora's pushing for Kairi. We'll just have to see what happens.


	2. Wait, Somebody Got Married?

"So his name is Roxas?" I was saying later as we sat on the bullet train to plum, wherever that was. Something about the name struck a chord. Roxas. Roxas. It was like I'd heard it sometime long ago, but I didn't recognize the face.

That is, I did and I didn't. It was my face, which was jarring, but there were some subtle differences in facial structure that only I and maybe Riku could pick out. Those were the things I didn't recognize—that and the hair that kind of swooped up and to one side, like he'd fallen over diagonally and it had never recovered (not that I had room to talk, but still). His eyes were mine, only not mine; dark and serious, and in every way the opposite of mine, even though they were the exact same color and size.

"It's right there in black and white," Axel answered, tapping the paper. "He's fifteen, his birthday's the same, and it looks like he's the same height and weight. If this isn't him, we're up a creek, because I don't know if it can match any closer than that."

I tore my eyes from Roxas's face and looked out the window. This world's name was Zenith, and the pointed, white, angular building where Demyx, Zexion, and evidently Axel lived was called Nada Apex. I'm not sure about the Nada bit, but there was a reason behind the names: most of Zenith was made up of spires. Nada Apex was in pear, one of the more densely populated areas, and so the prickly outline of spire-shaped buildings took up the entire horizon. There were enclosed tracks here and there with windowed walls, raised high above the lower city and twisting between the rest of the spires, for the trains. I hadn't yet seen any other form of transportation, but they weren't that crowded, so I guess it was okay.

"So where're we headed after this?" Riku was saying to Axel when I tuned back in. "Strawberry?"

Axel stared at him in horror. "Don't be obscene!"

Riku opened his mouth to reply to that, but just then the radio clicked on and played back a sound like something being wound up. At first I though it was some weird type of music, but at the sound of it, Axel and everyone else around us scooted over to the unusually tall armrests next to the doors and at the end of the car. "You might want to brace yourselves," he warned us, beckoning us over. At his insistence, we pressed up against him and seized the metal bars sticking out just above the windowsill and in front of the seat. The front of the train tipped down.

And then we were _falling_.

It was like one of those sadistic rides where the floor just drops out from under you and the only direction is _down_, and everything disappears from your stomach except that feeling like you're about to explode from the anxiety of it. Only we didn't have so much as a seatbelt. All we had was two metal bars and an armrest and each other, and we were squished together so tightly I was afraid we'd never come unstuck.

Let me make something very clear right now.

I hate falling.

I hate it with every fiber of my being.

When I was little, I fell off the walkway up on the play island. The one that wraps around that tree, and takes like two ladders and some steps to get up there. It took all of an eternity of fear and screaming and suffering, and then I broke my arm at the bottom. Ever since then, I've had an occasional dream about falling (sometimes water, sometimes air—I've never fallen through water in real life, though, so it still seems like air in the dream). Those things hit their peak just last year, when I was fourteen. Annoying as hell. I spend every waking hour with my feet firmly on the ground, doing everything in my power to keep those dreams from becoming reality.

And that's what they were doing right then, with me in front screaming my head off like a little girl, Riku behind me with eyes wide and mouth open in a silent shriek, and Axel flush against the armrest, laughing like it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen.

Then we leveled out, and it was over. Axel pushed us aside, got up and crossed to sit next to me, scooting over to the other armrest. "Over here, now," he said, motioning us over.

"It's gonna fall the _other way_?" Riku choked out. I didn't trust myself to speak.

"No," Axel told us as a confused jumble leaked in through the speakers. "Plum is past apple, and down and then up."

Riku frowned then, and I'm not sure how he managed to think coherently after that plummet, but if anyone could, Riku could. "But…if we're going up, wouldn't that push us back against that armrest?" he asked, pointing to the one Axel had just vacated.

"In your world, maybe," Axel replied, pushing up close to the new one and grabbing hold of the bars. I didn't wait on Riku's okay to follow, because a new sound was coming through the speakers now—something like a whistle—and I didn't want to get caught unawares.

Sure enough, the train shot upward, and for some reason I will never be able to explain, we didn't fall back against the other armrest. Instead, some force from below pushed us up, squishing us together again in completely the wrong direction and making our brains or at least mine cry out in protest. The unbearably wonky physics of this place were already beginning to take their toll, and we'd only scratched the surface.

The train came to a stop then, still facing a ninety-degree angle upward, and gravity for some reason stayed reversed. Axel carefully pulled away from the armrest, ducked under the bar, and slid so that his feet pointed up, hanging on to the edge of the armrest. My brain couldn't comprehend this situation—if we moved beyond the armrest, we would fall in a direction I identified as _up_, which, besides making no sense at all, would land us at the other end of the car and make us climb out. That's what the other people were doing now, and Axel calmly swung back and forth until he had enough leverage to jump right through the door on the other side. "C'mon," he called to us. "Careful."

I moved around Riku and repeated the process, noting that the outside was completely black. "You're out there, right?" I asked, squinting for a sign of Axel's presence.

"Yeah. It's black for a reason," he replied simply from somewhere just beyond the doorway. "Just make sure you don't fall. That would suck."

I looked down and silently agreed, and then carefully swung forward until I had enough momentum to carry me through. I let go, and—

The floor became the ceiling.

Just when I had gotten to the point of accepting up as down, gravity shifted and made down up again, so that I fell upward and landed on what I identified as the ceiling. I got up with Axel's help, looking around to find a station much like the one we'd left back in pear, where Demyx was. Looking back at the train, I couldn't recall up being down in the first place, since I couldn't see Riku hanging upside down and swinging towards us. But I saw his bewildered expression when he flew out of the doors and landed painfully on his shoulders, blinking at the sky. "Let's find Roxas and get out of here," he grumbled, vaulting to his feet and dusting himself off.

Riku moved to support me again as we moved out of the station, following Axel, who was looking at a map and turning it in various different directions as we walked. I wanted to ask what he was doing, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to know.

Plum was certainly backwater, as I soon realized. Most of the buildings were still spires, but we were actually walking on dirt and grass, and there was a much less metallic feel to the place.

Axel stopped an old man with red hair, which was fading to gray, and folded up the map and handed it to him. "We need directions," he said.

The old man nodded. "Where's Pillsbury Street?"

"Up past Seedling Boulevard," Axel responded.

Nodding again, the old man smiled. "Good day."

"Thanks."

And we left, without our map, heading in a new direction completely opposite of where we'd started.

My brain let out a scream of protest that manifested itself in a strangled moan. "Where're we going?" I asked Axel, wanting to know at least that.

"Pillsbury Street," he replied.

That did it.

I stopped walking and sank to the ground, ignoring Riku's attempts to get me moving again. "I'm not going anywhere until you explain that," I said defiantly. "At least that. I want to know that something in this world makes a lick of sense, because all I've seen so far is chaos."

Axel, who was shooting me an annoyed look, sighed heavily. "That's because this world _is_ chaos," he said finally. "Ordered chaos. A bit of an oxymoron, but everything has a rhyme and a reason to it. When I told him that 'we' needed directions, it meant we were headed for a residential area. If I had said 'I' needed directions, he would've assumed we were headed to a public center, and directed us to Central Point, which would lead us anywhere we wanted to go, outside of residences. By applying the rule of logic—everything backwards is forwards—he knew my question, and asked it to me, in the process transferring his own information to support the rule. Then I gave him the map so he'd know where to go the next time he looked for Pillsbury, although that's more out of courtesy than anything else. Okay?"

My mind spun. No. Not okay. "This…this…" I managed faintly, finding that it was suddenly much harder to think, and Riku quickly seized my hand with the lime in it and pulled it up under my nose. "This is bullshit," I muttered finally, and grudgingly got to my feet again.

We made it down the street to a house at the end of the third block, where Axel rang the bell and opened the door. I stopped caring that it didn't make any sense, and he strode right into the kitchen, while Riku and I hung back. "Does someone named Roxas live here?" Axel asked the woman inside.

"Nope. Across the way."

"Oh. Where is he now?"

For the second time, I wondered if Axel was perhaps retarded—or even if it wasn't Axel, just that this whole world was retarded in some cosmic way.

"Out back," she replied, and Axel emerged from the kitchen.

"C'mon," he said, and we moved around the side of the house to the backyard. Four kids were there, all apparently in the midst of a riveting conversation, and they looked up as they approached. Three of them looked normal, and the fourth—Roxas—was at the back and too obscured, but I could tell right away that something was weird with him too. Still, it almost made me smile to think that he had three best friends, just like me.

Axel cursed. "Sylph!" he shouted, and Riku dove to one side with me in tow just as a blast of light cut through the air in front of us. Roxas's friends quickly sank to one side with a few shouts of alarm, taking cover in the foliage. I looked up and realized that Roxas was clad in this light, pristine white silk that draped around him in folds. Two white horns that I couldn't remember from the picture were sticking out from his hair, and he was wielding…

Uh…

Were those _keys_?

Riku was up and away in the next moment, and I just sat there for a time, feeling a bit sick from the ooze spreading out under my skin—some of the Heartless bugs must've gotten smushed. I looked over at the three friends, who were whispering together and keeping an eye on the battle. There was nothing odd about them—in fact, they were probably from our world, since I recognized the style of our clothing. The girl was wearing a shirt I'd seen in Twilight Town once.

Meanwhile, Axel had yanked out these spiked things from nowhere, and now Riku was attacking with something that also faintly resembled a key—though far more elaborate. Still, they had the wonky physics of this world to deal with, and a lot of times those caught Riku off guard. A strike to his side made him hit the ground and then vanish, reappearing ten feet away and draped on top of a fence. Axel drove his foot into the ground with a thundering stomp, making a block of ice pop up and out, and he set this on fire and shoved it towards Roxas.

He set ice.

On _fire_.

I finally just closed my eyes and hoped it would be over soon.

It wasn't that easy, though, as suddenly my own arm wrapped around me, and I was up in the air, Roxas's arm pinning mine to my sides. We landed on the porch, and suddenly Axel was running for us, shouting, "Don't do it! Don't you try it, Sylph!"

But Roxas let me go then and moved away, and Axel grabbed me just before I fell, letting out a cry of alarm as Roxas threw something at us.

A little blue ball.

It hit the solid wood of the porch, and the world spun like a dryer, sending both of us in circles around a solid surface. After some time, we came to a stop, and I realized that we were _inside_ the ball…floating on what looked like a black ocean. Axel got to his feet, putting his hands on the surface of the ball and cursing steadily. "This is a hanger," he said to me. "Hangers _suck_."

I stared around us at the expanse of ocean, the ball lulling steadily over the water. "But…what did that do?" I wanted to know, looking around for Riku. "What happened back there? Is Riku okay?"

"Riku's fine," Axel replied simply. "Roxas won't be able to create another one of these for several hours, until the cycle's over." He sat down against the ball's bottom, looking at the blue-tinged water. "The reaction of the perfectly straight surface with the perfectly round one created a breach in the dimension," he explained. "Otherwise known as a hanger. Two objects striking one another will go in opposite directions, right? Well, according to the rule of mess, this is what will happen in almost every situation but the _perfect_ one, where the objects are perfect opposites of one another, in which case they combine, and…" He sighed. "And end with us in here. It's a lot more complicated than that, but that's the essence of it."

"I'm not so sure I care anymore," I told him, trying to rise and finding to my chagrin that I'd left the lime back in reality. Or, as close to reality as that world was. "How do we get out?"

Axel seemed a little stumped about that one. "Where there's a breach, there's a beach," he said, "but I don't see one."

I groaned. It looked like we were miles and miles out to sea, if this black stuff was indeed a sea and not the congealed hatred of a thousand lost souls or something. At any rate, I was really beginning to suffer without my lime. The Heartless had the run of my body now, so the world began to fog over, and my thoughts grew hazy and disconnected. The whispering, which had been going on faintly ever since the explosion, grew louder, and it started to sound like I could even pick out words…

"Sora!"

I snapped to attention, looking around for the source, and my eyes focused on Axel, who was bent in front of me. "You all right?" he asked, his eyes concerned. "I've been calling you over and over."

I nodded, blinking stupidly and trying to focus. "L…li…" I garbled, trying to make the shape of the thing with my hand. To Axel, it probably looked more like I was trying to jack off a banana. "_Lime_," I managed finally, my tongue and lips slipping and sliding over the word.

"Aw, dammit!" he muttered, looking around as if he expected to find one just waiting there for us. "You can't conjure stuff in a hanger! Damn damn damn…"

I let him keep muttering for a while as I drifted away, losing the fight to unconsciousness and slipping into a kind of pseudo-sleep. I was aware of Axel there, but it seemed like someone else was there, too. Someone familiar, someone I knew…not Riku, was it? No…

"Sora," came Riku's voice suddenly, and I regained consciousness in time to realize that we'd made it out of the hanger. The lime was back under my nose, and I grabbed it and sat up.

"Thanks," I said, and we both looked over at Axel. He had the Sylph pinned to the ground, much to the horror of Roxas's friends, and was huskily imparting several ground rules and conditions to the blond. Roxas squirmed and shouted something I couldn't make out, and Axel slammed him harder against the grass with a stream of curses.

"They, um," Riku said to me uncomfortably, "they'll be done in a minute. I think," he added as Roxas spat in Axel's face and the Phoenix replied with a fierce growl and a sharp twist of Roxas's wrists.

"So what," I began tiredly, "about a Sylph made you guys attack?"

"He attacked first," Riku accused quickly. "But we've run into Sylphs before. They tend to react that way to Phoenixes, and an other is usually pretty reluctant at first. Apparently Roxas is damned _determined_."

Finally, Axel stood and held out a hand for Roxas. The Sylph batted it away and rose, making his way towards me. His sullen glare and the grudging slump of his shoulders told me that this was by no means of his own free will, and he knelt in front of me, knocking the lime away as he did. "Hold still," he commanded sharply. Riku looked about to dispute that, but Axel called to him to let us alone, and Roxas seized me by the shoulders, pressing our foreheads together and closing his eyes.

I wasn't sure what to do, but he wasn't letting go, so I just kind of closed my eyes too and hoped this violation of my personal space would be over soon. As I did, I felt a warmth spread out from our skin and begin to pool in my stomach. Roxas cursed sharply and pulled away. "It's too advanced," he called back to Axel. "I need an opening."

Axel carefully hooked an arm firmly around Riku's shoulders before replying, "His mouth or his ass, your choice," with a nonchalant shrug.

Riku fairly exploded with questions, but I was too busy looking back into my own blue eyes as Roxas turned back to me. "Do you have a preference?" he asked as casually as if we were comparing laundry detergents.

Well, considering one of them probably involved my pants coming off, it was a no-brainer, but I was too wary of the wonky physics of this place to respond right away. "Uh, _yeah_," I said when I was capable of speech again. "You're not going anywhere near my ass, but what're you—?"

And then I couldn't get a word out, because Roxas had just shoved all five fingers of his right hand in my mouth. I stared at him like a deer in headlights, at first considering biting him to get him to stop, but he had a look in his eyes that said "Bite me and die a painful death," so I didn't. One finger held my tongue down while three others held my cheeks apart and roof up. I couldn't tell what the fifth was doing, but at the moment I didn't much care, because I could _feel_ all those bugs just evaporating inside me, and it felt _so good_. The whispering in my ears turned into high-pitched squalls of pain and suffering, but it only lasted a few moments, and then Roxas withdrew, wiping his hand off with a few disgusted mutters.

I could've hugged the guy, I really could've, but he still looked pretty murderous, and I wasn't going to chance it. I settled for a stuttered "Th-thanks," and a weary smile.

"Not welcome," he replied, casting a nasty glare back at Axel. "But I guess you're of no use to me dead."

"Glad to hear it," I muttered. Then I balked suddenly. "Uh…would you really…would you have done that to my ass?" I asked, wincing sharply at the very thought.

"I think the question," Roxas replied sharply, "you meant to ask was, would I have done that to your ass and liked it? And the answer to that would've been no. But I didn't have to. So let's not dwell on it."

Riku helped me up as Roxas got to his feet and moved away, glaring at Axel as he straightened his wispy white outfit and ran a hand up each of his horns to make sure it was still intact. But I was suddenly distracted as I realized Riku had pulled me into a fierce hug. "Er…Riku?" I said hesitantly, wondering if this was maybe some bizarre custom that he'd picked up.

He didn't say anything for a moment, and when he pulled back, his eyes looked misty. "I was…scared," he managed simply, bringing a nonchalant hand across his eyes and managing to make it look very natural. I couldn't be sure if the tears had been there or not.

"Sorry to worry you," I replied awkwardly, steadying myself on my feet now that I didn't need his support.

" 'S okay. It's our fault for being careless." He gave me a quick glance, making sure I was okay, and looked anxiously at his partner in crime.

Axel had an unnerving look in his eye, like a cat who'd spotted a canary. The moment Roxas's back was turned, Axel struck, seizing him around the waist and yanking him back into the Phoenix's embrace. "Stop it, you freak, I did my job, lemme go!" Roxas protested, struggling.

"But you don't think that's the end of it, do you?" Axel murmured in his ear, still loud enough for both Riku and me to hear. I shot Riku a surprised look, to which he responded with a mystified shake of his head.

"Yes I _do_, dammit, I did what you asked! You owe _me_ now, not the other way around—!"

"I don't owe you anything," Axel replied simply, reaching a hand up through the space between Roxas's arm and side and caressing his cheek. "I'm not the one harboring illegal aliens."

Roxas stopped and his eyes got big, looking over at the three people who had risen to their feet, looking upset that Axel didn't seem to be letting up. "…not illegal," he muttered faintly.

"Oh? Then why haven't they been marked?" Axel wanted to know, taking a strand of blond and curling it around his fingers. "I doubt Central Point wants to hear about this, Roxas, they've already had to take ten of them back across in the past week. I guess everybody wants one, nowadays."

Roxas, though, looked remarkably unconcerned about that, and was beginning to blush faintly. "You, er…you're _that_ interested?" he asked, trying to hide the fact that he was…_flattered_?

"I am. You'll make a marvelous recruit," Axel told him, smirking.

"And I'm sure that's the _only_ reason you're asking," Roxas replied with a roll of his eyes.

Axel trailed a finger around the side of the boy's face, and this time Roxas followed it with his eyes. "Of course. The only one."

Riku waved at Axel to get his attention. "Uh, in the dark, here," he said, indicating the two of us.

"We're discussing recruitment into the Service," Axel replied simply.

Riku actually looked like he knew what Axel meant then, and I looked at him for answers. "The Service is the thing Axel and I are part of," he explained. "Its headquarters are here, and the point is to keep people safe from the Heartless."

"And what are the Heartless, exactly?" I asked, suppressing a shiver.

"A threat," Riku explained thoroughly. "They're invisible to the human eye, except for…" He hesitated then, looking at me with wide eyes. "Oh, damn," he whispered. Then he looked back at Axel who had drawn away from Roxas and seemed to be discussing terms of some sort. "Then that's why he…"

I waved at him sourly. "Riku. In the dark. Getting tired of it."

He looked back at me and sighed. "They've been inside you," he told me.

"Yeah. I know. Not the only things," I added, shooting a wary glance at Roxas.

"No, I mean—you'll be able to see them now," he added, running a hand through his hair. "And you…when you can see them…" He put a hand on his chin, letting out a sigh. "That's when they're really a threat. Because when you can see them, they know you can see them, and they're more likely to come after you. Aw, jeez," he groaned, pressing his hands against his temples. "You'll need to sign up now, so you can get a weapon and a kit and spyurts and everything."

"What're spyurts?"

He sighed heavily. "We're gonna wait on that. Once you see them, it'll…it'll be easier."

That made me a little alarmed. Apparently, the Heartless were bad, and spyurts were good, but after having bugs all in my body and Roxas's fingers in my mouth, I wasn't keen on approaching anything else without an explanation first.

Meanwhile, Roxas and Axel seemed to be wrapping up, although Roxas had suddenly gotten flirtatious. I couldn't figure out when Roxas had gone from servant/prisoner to love interest, but if Axel's manner was any indication, the two of them were well on their way to going steady.

"And what," Roxas wanted to know, drawing a finger along Axel's jawline, "can you offer me that no one else can? You're not a pretty little delicate girl I can hold, nor a burly strongman I can curl up against. Why should I pick you?"

Axel smirked at that. "Riddle me this, Sylph—how many have offered you devotion?"

Roxas looked surprised at that, and almost spun away from him. "De—_devotion_?" he repeated disbelievingly. "_You_? You of all people look like—"

"Like I've got a lot of followers, don't I?" Axel cut him off, chuckling into his ear. "Looks can be deceiving, Roxas…" He pulled back and studied the boy critically. "Why? How many have you got?"

The Sylph suddenly blushed darkly, and his eyes moved in the brunette's direction. "I…I'm w-working on it," he replied softly. "Customs are different…over there. You know."

"Oh but I do," Axel assured him, drawing him close again and nuzzling at his neck. Riku cleared his throat sharply, obviously feeling this was enough and it was time to stop now, but they didn't seem to notice. "Not all that different from devotion, though," he said then.

I felt mortified to be watching this—especially happening to a body that was so similar to my own—and yet I couldn't tear my eyes away. I couldn't quite understand what was going on; at times it seemed like Axel was seducing Roxas, and at other times it seemed like it was a contest of some sort. Perhaps they were the same.

At any rate, I saw Roxas's eyes narrow interestedly then. "How devoted?" he asked, and I knew in that moment that Axel had him. Whatever the Phoenix was trying to do, he had him now.

"Passionately," Axel replied, and did something that made a quiver go down Roxas's back.

But the Sylph wasn't satisfied with that. "Show me," he said in an iron voice, pulling away.

Axel shot him an amused glance, but extricated his arms from around the boy and moved away. He knelt first, then went down on his knees in front of Roxas, holding his arms up and crossed with two fingers extended on each hand, palms out. It was a purely submissive gesture—even I caught the significance of that—but the true meaning behind it escaped me.

Roxas looked down at him with what looked like disgust at first, but gradually he began to shake, as if restraining himself. "All right," he said shortly, turning away. "Up. You win."

The Phoenix rose with a knowing look on his face, seizing Roxas suddenly and roughly, with an anxious kind of excitement. "I'll see you at the Service, then," he breathed into Roxas's neck, and I looked away sharply.

The blond made a faint mewling sound. "Y-yeah," he managed, panting slightly. "I'll be late."

"Oh," Axel said interestedly, "you want to go that far already? Well, well, well…"

Riku, who had been pacing impatiently during the course of all this, had finally gotten into a deep conversation with Roxas's three friends. I joined them now, not trusting myself to look back at Axel and Roxas, who sounded like they were getting more intimate. "The point is, you're gonna have to clear out anyway," Riku was saying. "Roxas killed several Heartless today. They won't forget that, and they'll be back for him. Having you guys around will be a liability."

The brunette was nodding, looking somber. "We knew it was temporary," she explained. "It's probably about time we got back anyhow, before our whole way of thinking changes."

"It would suck just a bit to try to go through school using the rule of logic, yeah," her black-haired companion remarked then. "Are they, uh…are they done yet?" he asked, rolling his eyes briefly in Roxas's direction but not daring to look completely.

"Yeah. I think. Maybe," Riku replied comfortingly.

"I'm surprised you're not more freaked out about all this," I remarked, wanting very badly to be back home right then.

"We've been here for three weeks," the blond boy told me, shrugging. "You start to expect the unexpected, after a while. And what looks bad isn't always bad, so you have to kind of assess the situation first."

"Well, that's that," came a voice from behind me, and suddenly arms went around my shoulders and Riku's. Axel hung down between us, looking positively drunk with love or power or whatever the hell kind of emotion spawned from that exchange, and he pointed at the three of them. "You guys gotta clear out. The Heartless will be looking for you, and it'll be easier if you're in your hometown."

"Yeah, Axel. They know," Riku told him, looking embarrassed.

"I'll take them," Roxas volunteered, straightening his clothing as he passed into my line of vision. "It's my fault they're here in the first place."

"_Fault_?" the brunette repeated, incredulous. "After what we had to go through to get here?"

"Fine. It's your fault, then," Roxas said indifferently.

"You're the one who wanted to see Zenith, Olette," the blond reminded her.

"I didn't know we'd have to go through a printer to get here!" Olette informed him sharply.

Axel glanced at Roxas. "That's how you managed it?" At the Sylph's shame-faced nod, he whistled. "Risky business."

"And I didn't know about Wednesdays!" Olette continued, her voice rising in pitch. I faintly wondered if it was a bad time of month. "_Nobody told me about Wednesdays_!"

"We'd better go," Axel announced, moving away from us and starting toward the station again. Riku followed, and I looked around for—

"Sora?" Riku called. "You coming? Or you want to stick around here and have Roxas educate you on the finer points of physics here?"

I rolled my eyes, jogging after him. "Of course not, what're you on about," I grumbled, trying to hide the feeling of anxiety that fluttered briefly in my stomach. I couldn't remember what it was connected with.

Axel seemed to be walking on clouds, from the way he was carrying himself, and if I listened hard I could almost hear him humming. "Uh, what happened back there?" Riku asked, and we both regretted it a second later.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the Phoenix began with a completely unnatural-looking flourish (courtesy of wonky physics), "you have just witnessed the successful courtship, engagement, and marriage—yes, darlings, _marriage_—of Roxas the Sylph and Axel the Phoenix. Oh, but it wasn't easy. The opening threat was veiled, very subtle, he wouldn't have seen it coming—but he did anyhow, nothing gets past that one, and he let me in!" An almost infectious grin was blossoming on the Phoenix's face, and he looked about to tap dance right off into the bushes given the slightest provocation. "He let me in right then and there, and that lay the groundwork for everything else. He even volunteered to pick up the rings! That means he wants to _marry_! The devotion was a nice touch, if I do say so myself, but tricky business—you have to be one hundred percent certain that he or she won't kill you when that happens, because it doesn't take much while you're down—"

"Wait a minute, you could've _died_ back there?" Riku interrupted, balking.

Axel stopped, blinking at him, as if Riku had just asked why the sky was blue. "Well, yeah," he said, shrugging. "That's the whole idea of a devotion. You place your life in their hands. You give them the chance to take it, and if they don't, boom! They're yours."

"But you _just met him_," I pointed out, which struck me as a rather important point.

"And I _love him_," Axel added, stretching his arms out dramatically and smiling blissfully at the sky, looking for all the world like a lovesick Romeo. "I could die of it!"

Riku sighed then. "All right, fine, you married the boy we met less than an hour ago. After seeing you guys get pulled back into existence through the help of a blue _whale_, I'm not going to lose sleep over it."

"A whale?" I repeated, blinking in surprise. I couldn't remember a whale.

"While you guys were in the hanger," Riku explained wearily. "You were out of it, I think. This whale jumped over the fence and spit you out."

I stopped him then with a hand on his shoulder. "Riku, can you hear me okay? Are the voices telling you anything unusual? How many fingers?"

"Two," he muttered, smacking my hand away. "I'm fine, Sora. There was a whale. There _was_."

"C'mon, guys," Axel called back to us. "We're headed back to pear. Demyx'll have to patch us through to the Service."

"Back to pear?" Riku repeated. "Let's see, pear to plum was past apple and then down and then up. So, back must be up, then down, then around the bicycle stand, under the ice cream trees, and past _artichoke_."

I snickered. "No, it's past Candyland, over Disneyland, and between the Kidneylands," I corrected, making a motion with my hand like a fish swimming.

Axel was looking at us like we were completely out of our minds. "Er, no," he said, blinking. "It's down, up, and around past apple."

Riku and I did some quick computing and then stared at him. "But…that's exactly the way we came!" I finally said.

"Er, yeah," Axel replied, still shooting us a weird look. "Why would we go somewhere different?"

"Axel, that makes _sense_!" Riku exploded then. "As in, makes sense in a way nothing else has for the past couple of hours!"

"That's ridiculous, everything's been making sense," Axel muttered as we entered the station. "It's not my fault you people can't adapt. I picked up all your rules without a problem in the world…" Still muttering, he started for the train, the two of us following behind and squabbling over how much sense it really did or did not make.

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Author's Note: This is not an indication of future chapters—well, it is and it isn't. Depending on how things work out, this may be the height of the insanity, but there will be a triumphant return later on. There will be, of course, pokes and prods in the general direction of craziness, but this has mostly been to introduce Zenith et al, so now we can focus more on the story. Please be sure to point out any discrepancies, but don't hurt yourself—unless it's a glaring, absolutely inexplicable error, or one with an easy fix, I will probably just point out that Zenith is _Zenith_ and don't worry too much about it.

Oh, and because Axel is tired of explaining things, the mark he references is a subtle sense of presence that Riku and Sora have already picked up by passing through "legally" (i.e. through the pink place that resembles End of the World). I intend to slip that in later, once I figure out how.

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts and all its eccentricities are not mine. Neither is Zenith, for that matter. By posting this I have bequeathed it and its inhabitants to you, and if you for some inexplicable reason become so very attached to it that you feel the only way your flood of emotions can be assuaged is by posting a songfic about it, then by all means, post away. ;)


	3. Things Start Making Sense, Or Not

We arrived back in pear, and soon re-entered Nada Apex. Demyx was in the lobby, sharing an animated one-sided conversation with that Zexion guy from the library. Both of them looked up as we came in, and Demyx let out a little squeal like an excited schoolgirl. "Someone's here to see you!" he called to Axel.

"Oh?" the Phoenix asked, sounding somewhat detached.

"Afternoon," came a voice from behind us, and we spun to regard a man who'd entered behind us. His skin had the exact look, and probably texture, of polished porcelain, immaculate from head to toe except for right between his eyes, where a slender X-shaped scar split his face. Above it was velvet-soft blue hair, falling in tendrils to his shoulders, and his bright yellow eyes had a distinctive slant.

"SAIX!" Axel shouted, brushing past us and seizing the blue-haired man in a bearhug. Axel was chuckling in an anxiety of happiness, and Saix allowed himself a thin smile, although it was clear he didn't appreciate being handled in this way. "I haven't seen you in _months_, man! When'd you get back from the battlefield?"

"Few days ago," Saix replied. "Prisoner of war, did they mention that? Left me with this little reminder," he added, tapping the scar.

"No, they didn't," Axel said in a crestfallen voice. "That…wow, that sucks…is that gonna affect your shifting?"

"Looks that way," Saix remarked sourly. "Who're your friends?"

"Oh! Right! Sorry—Saix, these are Sora and Riku," the Phoenix said, throwing an arm around his friend's shoulders and gesturing to us. "Sora and Riku, this is Saix. He's a Doppleganger, and I hate his stupid guts," he added, grinning.

We weren't sure quite how to interpret that.

"Uh, nice to meet you," Riku managed. "I think."

"Newcomers?" Saix asked, crooking a cerulean eyebrow.

"Yeah," Axel replied, rolling his eyes.

"Don't lose sleep over it," Saix told us charitably. "It's more or less colloquial for 'best friend ever.' Sarcasm," he added when Riku looked exasperated. "Xigbar should be along shortly," he said to Axel. "Got a little hung up at the station—needs an oil change after the train ride…"

"Oh, yeah, the one from pineapple's a _bitch_," Axel remarked, wrinkling his nose and drawing back—something Saix seemed to appreciate more than he knew.

I hoped to god or whoever was watching over us that I never had to go to pineapple.

"You'll love Xigbar," Axel continued, moving back in front of us with Saix at his side. "Guy's a Cyborg. Loves weapons."

I glanced at Riku, who looked worried, which made me extremely uncomfortable. "Paralyzed with anticipation," I reported to Axel stiffly.

Axel and Saix chatted on and off about some kind of war that was going on—it was either a war or a bake sale, they didn't make it very clear—as Demyx led us back to his room. The clams were there, of course, but they didn't hiss at me this time when I went to sit down, and Axel and Saix took up positions around Demyx.

Something occurred to me then, and I turned to Riku. "So, you've been here before," I realized aloud.

He nodded. "I wasn't lucid at the time, and I haven't been back since, but yeah," he affirmed. "I, uh…" He fell silent for a moment. "My…my partner dragged me through. I got possessed, he wasn't sure what to do, and…well, that's when we met Axel," he said finally.

I stared at him in wonder. "When was this? Where the hell was I?" I demanded, a little put off that such a pivotal event in my best friend's life had happened without my notice.

"You were at a flute recital," Riku replied easily. "And it wouldn't have done you any good to get involved in the first place."

"A flute recital?" I repeated, frowning. "For who?"

"You know, um…" Riku hesitated. "Kairi?"

"Kairi plays guitar, Einstein." I frowned, rubbing my temples in an effort to remember. It _had_ been a flute recital…but who did I know who played the flute? Not Tidus or Selphie…certainly not _Wakka_, either. It was enough that he took time out of his Blitzball-filled days to have two or three meals. Oh, that's right—it seemed like I had played it, actually…for a little while. Like I was going to admit that to Riku, though.

I dismissed it for the time being. "So…is Axel your partner now?" I asked, feeling a part of me dreading the answer, although I wasn't sure why.

"…Yeah." Riku's eyes were somber. "I, um…the way they do it in the Service is, they match you up with your other. Unless…"

"Unless the other one's not available," I supplied anxiously. "Do…Riku, do you want to talk about it?" I asked softly.

He didn't respond to that for a minute, and I heard the ragtag group by the computer squabbling over details. Then he drew in a ragged breath, running a hand through his hair. "I've been getting so wussy lately," he pointed out with a low, self-mocking chuckle. "I dunno. I guess…it's hard to watch someone so close to you die." He tried to make it sound offhand, but there was a tightness to his voice that betrayed him. "Especially when…" He paused to get his bearings, and when he spoke again, his voice trembled on the verge of tears. "I had to kill him, Sora. It was me. He…he w-was suffering an infestation, just like you, and…and…we didn't even know it until it was too late. It hit his brain—that's the final stage—and he…he was gonna become one of them." Riku's hands tightened into fists. "I wouldn't…I couldn't let them do that to him. He asked me to…to kill him, and I did. I looked right into his eyes and killed him." He sniffed loudly, shaking his head and rubbing at his tears like he was angry at them.

I hesitated, not sure what to do. I wasn't that good at things involving tears and anguish. With someone like Mom or Kairi, it was a little easier, because I almost couldn't go wrong with a hug—but Riku was more difficult. I finally just squeezed his shoulder, trying to let him know I was there for him. He clutched my arm gratefully, and finally straightened, successfully suppressing the tears for another time. "Sorry," he managed, sniffling faintly and hating himself for it if I knew anything about him. "I don't mean to be so…pathetic."

"You're not," I assured him, knowing it was what I'd want to hear in his position. "I'd do the same, if it was Roxas." Wait, I would? The words had just come out—but even then, I realized they were true.

Riku nodded vaguely. "Yeah, I guess you would. Roxas…even now, he's already a part of you," he mused, looking over at Axel and the others. "How's it coming?" he asked, and I knew then he'd made a full recovery. Riku wouldn't have spoken to anyone else unless he was certain all trace of his upset was gone.

"Almost there," Axel called back. "Passcode? Aw, dammit, they always change it and don't tell me!"

"I have no idea why they wouldn't," Saix remarked in a voice that said he knew perfectly well why they wouldn't.

Axel glared at him and folded his arms stubbornly. "She always has to make trouble for us," he muttered, focusing his attention on the computer. "Try billabong."

"Billabong expired already," Demyx informed him, but tried that anyway. An error message popped up.

"Roxas," Saix said suddenly, and they both glanced at him. "They've been pretty off the wall lately. Seems like they'd personalize it."

"But how would they know about Roxas?" Axel asked, befuddled, and I was astonished that something he said actually made sense for a change.

"Apply the rule of logic," Demyx told him, keying in the name. "Combine it with the rule of mess after the whole hanger thing, and I'd be surprised if they didn't know what color underwear you're wearing."

Axel growled at that, but Roxas as the passcode took them through. "How many?" Demyx asked, looking back to count.

"Three," Axel said at the exact moment Saix said "Four." He turned to look at the blue-haired man in surprise. "You coming? I thought you hated HQ."

"I do," Saix told him, his upper lip curling. "But I have to see if this blasted scar is reversible. I won't be of any use as recon if they can recognize me at a distance," he pointed out sourly.

Demyx let out a little laughing warble and leaned back in his chair to look up at them. "I know why Saix wants to go to HQ," he said knowingly, his mouth split into a broad smirk.

Saix kicked his chair spitefully.

The redhead looked surprised at that. "But Lexaeus isn't…" Then he stopped, staring at Saix. "Aw, damn! You two aren't still…aw, come _on_!" he groaned, putting a hand to his forehead and turning away dramatically. "I take enough shit from her without her beeping me to ask where you are all the livelong day…!"

"We _aren't_," Saix snarled, and the subject was closed for discussion.

"All right, ready," Demyx said quickly, more to alleviate the awkward silence than anything else, and tapped a few more keys. "I'll set you down by the sign-in desk. That cool?"  
"As beans," Axel said simply, leaning over the back of the empty chair next to Demyx. He shot a glance back at Riku and me. "Brace yourselves."

I well remembered the last time he'd made _that_ statement, and seized onto Riku like these were the rapids and he was a lifeboat. He made a surprised little sound, and then the world spun wildly out of control. It seemed like we were still sitting on the clam chairs in Demyx's room, but at the same time we were standing someplace else, and mostly we were spinning in wild circles in space. Why the people of this world subjected themselves to such exhausting methods of travel I will never know, but within a few moments, the haze cleared, and we were standing on solid ground. Riku and I both wavered, clinging to one another for support, and feeling more than a little nauseous. Axel and Saix were in front of us, and we looked around to find ourselves in what looked like some kind of a nightclub mixed with an office building, with people in neon, flashing suits streaming in and out of the night black doors. There was a disco ball above us and neon lit up the room, but the only music playing was the dull, monotonous stuff you hear in elevators.

Once we recovered from this particular shock, we staggered away from each other, and Axel approached a desk behind us that looked like it was made out of marble. In fact, everything looked sort of like black marble, except for the walls and ceilings, which were just plain black. "Evening, gentlemen," came a woman's voice from behind the desk, and she approached. "What can I do for you?"

If I had wondered before about Axel's other, I couldn't remember it, but the woman who stood before me bore so much of a resemblance that I was amazed she didn't have fur all over her. Even so, her hair was darker than his, and where his went straight back, hers seemed to go either up or down. She had his jet green eyes, but the black, upside-down tears tattooed on his face were absent from hers. Or no—she had them, they were just blue, and instead right-side up, looking exactly like painted-on tears.

"Evening, Lea," Axel muttered under his breath. "We've got new recruits. Still waiting on one of them."

"Splendid," she said detachedly, going through a stack of papers in front of her. "Maybe I'm dead wrong about this, but I'm going to guess the name is _Roxas_," she remarked, shooting Axel a knowing smirk that resembled his so closely it almost frightened me.

"You just can't keep your nose out of other people's business," he replied stiffly. "One of these days I'll have to burn it off."

"Ooo, is that a threat?" she asked him, lowering her eyelids seductively. "I'm flattered, darling, I _am_, but it would never work out between us."

Axel let out a frustrated growl and slunk away from the desk, fuming. "Go ahead and get the boy signed up," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "That's all you're good for, anyhow."

Lea looked like she was going to respond to that, but instead she rolled her eyes and turned to me. "Name," she said in a crisp, official tone that sounded like she was used to using it.

"Uh, Sora Hi—"

"Just the first," she cut me off, scribbling this down. "Other's name."

"Roxas."

After that it boiled down into little details that didn't seem like they mattered, or were even the slightest bit relevant—had I ever seen a Heartless before? What was my mother's maiden name? How many cotton balls did I think I could fit in my belly button?

"So what's the deal with those two?" I asked Saix when it was over, gesturing between Lea and Axel.

"Their personalities are almost identical," he replied simply, shrugging. "And Axel couldn't get along with himself if he tried. They're compatible, but they hate each other's guts. And I don't mean colloquially, I mean they really, _really_ hate them."

"What's with the marks?" Riku asked suddenly. "I'd noticed them on Axel, and I guess I figured they'd be on Lea, too, but…where'd they come from?"

"Status symbol for the people who work inside the Service, like _her_," Axel told us then, rejoining the group with a sour glare towards the desk. "They appeared on me when they burned them onto her. Swell night, that," he added loudly, glowering at Lea, who'd returned from her office in back of the desk with a blue box, about the size of a lunchbox.

"Sorry, should I have warned you?" she asked innocently. "I was under the impression you were impervious to fire."

"Not that kind," Axel muttered, rubbing his cheek as if he could still feel them burning.

"All right, Sora, was it?" Lea called, opening the box. "This will be your kit. Since you've got an other here, he'll be your partner, which is extremely important in times of infestation. Now." She pointed to one of the clear boxes inside, this one filled with little yellow stars. "These are spyurts. They combat the Heartless—just throw one at them, and it'll set off an explosion completely harmless to you, but lethal to them."

I eyed the things warily, not sure I trusted the effects of another explosion. "And these?" I asked, pointing to a wriggling set of what looked like blue worms.

"Those you hope you never have to use," she said simply. "The little green balls there are stimulants. They'll pep you up and keep you going in times when you need it, but don't overdo it. You'll mainly need them to combat the side effects of these," she added, pointing to a section that held clear, diamond-shaped things that looked kind of like bubbles. "These actually do heal you, but don't target anything and have a blanket effect, which often makes people lethargic. In rare cases, people reported getting all peppy after them, but that usually wears off with time. We're working on a prototype to meld the stimulants with the healing agents, but that's slow going," she explained. "And finally, these," she added, pointing to a few red, floating, lazily rotating cubes, "are flares. Take one out and press the button on the bottom, and it'll send out your location to HQ and to other teams nearby."

I nodded, trying to take this all in. Diamonds heal, green balls stimulate, boxes signal, and stars explode. "So, uh," I said after a minute, "how do we…I mean, do we just eat the things?" I asked, jabbing a thumb at the diamonds.

"They go in through your forehead," Lea said simply, tapping hers with the palm of her hand. "Most things do."

I suddenly remembered that the first thing Roxas had done was go for my forehead, and I almost smiled as I realized something else in this world actually made a bit of sense. Or at least was consistent.

"The next stage is through there to get your weapon," Lea told me, jabbing a thumb at a door behind her, far past the desk. "We'll wait on your other to show up, first, and then I can explain the kit to him while you're in there. Do you happen to know what his weapon is?" she asked then.

"Uh, yeah, he's got these…er…"

"Keyblades," Riku supplied for me, as I kind of floundered. "Two of them."

She balked at him. "Two?"

"He's a Sylph," Axel offered, and realization flickered across Lea's eyes.

"I see," she murmured, her eyes moving briefly to me. "Interesting. Very interesting."

We all jerked to attention at a jubilant shout from Axel, and I realized Roxas had just entered, looking around for us. The redhead was already moving towards him, and Roxas spotted him immediately, the two of them colliding and crushing each other in a tight embrace. I marveled at this ability of theirs to get so attached so damn quickly.

"Okay—okay, Axel, cut it out," Roxas told him, pushing Axel's face away from his neck and hiding his smile at the redhead's persistence. "Here—I've got them, hold out your hand…"

I realized with a jolt that Roxas was holding a pair of rings in a vacuum-sealed plastic bag that looked like you could get it at the dollar store. He ripped this open with his teeth and pulled out the two emerald-green rings, each sparkling with what looked like a cluster of diamonds at the tip. I half-expected them to go through the "I do thee wed" business, but Roxas just kind of seized Axel's hand and shoved the ring down his finger in the manner of one preparing a mannequin with little time to spare. He started to put the other on his own, but Axel seized it from him and caught him by the wrist, kissing each finger in turn as he slid the emerald ring down the length of the boy's ring finger. Roxas looked a little annoyed at that, but couldn't hide the deep blush it brought to his face.

The whole thing was a little jarring to me. For one thing, I felt a little possessive of Roxas already. He was, after all, _my_ other, and Axel had slipped him through my fingers in a matter of seconds. I don't really know how to explain it, but it was probably similar to watching your twin get married and knowing that things won't be quite the same anymore.

Riku sighed irritably at this little instance, and shot them an impatient look. "Are you two done?"

"Now we are," Axel said nonchalantly, returning to us with an arm wrapped possessively around Roxas's waist. "Did I mention I got engaged, Saix? Just this afternoon. A devotion, too."

"Devotion?" Saix repeated, looking impressed. "My, my, our little Axel's growing up."

Lea snickered at that. "Gotta watch out for that. When was the last time you had a follower?" she asked, smirking.

"Go fuck yourself, Lea," the Phoenix snarled.

"I would, I would," she said innocently, "but it would entail screwing you, and I'd have trouble getting all ten of _mine_ to accept me after that."

Axel raised a slender eyebrow. "You keep on about screwing me all the time and Saix is gonna get jealous," he pointed out, jabbing a thumb at the blue-haired man for emphasis.

Saix, who had just then been taking a sip of some drink Lea had brought out for him, spluttered and choked at that, and Lea burst into defiant shouting. "Frankly, Axel, I'd rather screw _Xemnas_!" she stated fiercely, slamming an index finger into the table, and stormed away to the cubicle in back of her desk.

"While you're in there, Riku and I could use a new kit!" the redhead called after her. He snickered at her explosive response. "Hey, Saix, you're not gonna let her get away with talking about Xemnas like that, are you?"

Saix looked more concerned with restoring function to his windpipe, but at that his gaze turned razor sharp.

"Saix had a crush on the ol' Superior a couple of years back," Axel explained expansively, letting go of Roxas and resting his arms on the desk behind him.

"And you will never let me live it down," Saix muttered, looking faintly like he wanted to murder something. I blinked, and suddenly he was gone. It took me a few moments to realize that Saix had vanished and a small, gray tabby had appeared in his place, hopping up to the desk and perching atop Lea's computer. It viewed us out of languid amber eyes, and I realized with a jolt that there was an X-shaped scar cut into its face above the nose. That's right—Axel had mentioned that Saix could…do whatever to his shape. Still, that caught me off guard.

"D'awww, every time Saix gets pissy, he turns into a pussy, isn't that right?" Axel warbled, smirking devilishly at the tabby. Saix hissed at him, his ears pressed flat against his head.

"So, hey," Roxas said then, and I realized he'd picked up the blue box that was our kit. "This is the kit thing, right? Someone want to explain it?"

Before anyone else could respond, Axel swooped to his side, pointing at various parts of the box. "Okay, these yellow things are the spyurts, I'm sure you've heard about those…"

"C'mon," came a voice from beside me, and I realized Riku had spoken. He was heading towards the door Lea indicated earlier. "You need to get your weapon. Most likely, since Roxas has Keyblades, you'll probably get one or two of those, depending. I'm gonna be surprised if you walk out of there with chakrams," he added with a chuckle.

"And those are…?"

"Those nasty things Axel uses. You don't want to be on the receiving end of them." Riku opened the door, which led straight into blackness. I probably should have expected that, and wondered faintly if the floor was the ceiling in there. "Says it's not occupied," Riku murmured, checking the sign. "You should be fine. It'll let you out downstairs, and we'll come collect you."

"Thanks," I said, and stepped into the room.

God do I hate falling.

There wasn't even any warning that time, just a pitch straight down into nothing, and I heard Riku call out behind me, "I forgot! Watch that first—…ah, well…"

Bastard. I could barely force enough blood to my brain to think that, as all of it seemed to be rushing straight to my feet. Oh, yeah, we were gonna meet downstairs all right—how long was this fall supposed to last? It seemed like it just kept going on and on into nothing, like the sand when we'd first arrived.

I looked up (or down, rather, but I guess it was up for me…in a bodily sense. Whatever. Shut up. I hate falling.) and saw a pinprick in the distance growing brighter. As it got closer, I could see I was heading straight for it, and that it seemed to be some kind of a platform. I couldn't make out what was on it, a little preoccupied with the idea that I was going to hit in T minus five seconds and become a Sora pancake all over that pretty yellow.

But as I neared it, it seemed like I slowed almost to a stop, and gradually turned over in the air to land on my feet. It was still a jarring hit, though, and I stumbled and fell on my butt rather ungracefully. I got up shakily and looked around, finding only pure blackness. If not for the glowing platform below me, I'd be in total darkness, and I hated to think of what that'd do to my eyes.

_Testing. Testing. One, two…_

I almost screamed and looked around for the source of the voice. It seemed to come from behind me at first, then in front of me, and I finally realized it was echoing within my own head. Riku could've mentioned this!

_Are we coming through clear? Sora's the name, right?_

I hesitated. "Uh, yeah, I can hear you okay," I said finally, still wanting something to focus on so I was sure I wasn't just going crazy or something.

_Excellent. Okay, what I need you to do is take a couple of steps forward._

…

"Huh?"

A sigh from within. _Don't argue with me, kid, I don't get paid enough to do this. Just humor me and walk forward a little, eh?_

Whatever this was, it was part of the process, so I grudgingly took about three steps forward. "Okay, now what?" I asked a little testily, wishing they would explain what the _point_ was for once.

_Oh, interesting! Do you always roll your hips like that?_

"_What_?!"

_Very interesting…_ It sounded like the person was scribbling onto something, but, what, was there a little guy inside my head now? I consoled myself with the thought that it must be a transmission from outside. Or something. _Okay, now. You're in a room with about a dozen Heartless. You've been overwhelmed earlier, and not in a position to deal with them right now. What do you use? Keyblade, spyurt, or flare?_

I considered that for a moment, blinking because I wasn't certain that I completely understood the use of these items yet. Spyurts exploded, right? "Well, a flare'd be pretty useless," I said finally. "I guess I could set one off if I was really in trouble, but I'd probably pull a few spyurts on them and see how that goes before pulling out a Keyblade. Especially if I was wounded or something," I mused, a little surprised at how easily I was taking this. Something about the platform seemed to have a calming effect, making the question seem not so hard and the answer almost natural.

_Good, good,_ the voice murmured. _Doesn't look like you're either too reckless or too cautious. Let's say, um…_ He hesitated, and I heard paper shuffling. _Roxas is infested. Do you bring him back here, ask someone else to perform a purge, or do it yourself?_

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. What was a purge? "I, uh, stick my fingers in his mouth and do whatever," I said, demonstrating with the air. Then I realized that was silly because the speaker couldn't see me. Or could he?

There was a chuckle from between my ears, and another rustle of paper. _Then you'd purge it yourself. Good. Faith in your abilities. And for the record, don't ever, EVER have anyone besides yourself perform a purge on your other. Chances are, it'll kill him instantly._

My head spun at this, trying to keep all this sudden, new information from leaking out my ears. I tried to remember—the floating red things, they were the explosives. Or no, those were the spyurts—so maybe the red things healed you. No, those were the green things. Or—not even! Diamonds healed, green things got you moving. "I feel like I need to write this down," I admitted.

_It becomes second nature after a while._

After a while? How long was a while? I suddenly realized that signing up with the Service might take a whole lot more effort than I thought. I had thought it would just be like signing up for a club that meets every so often, or for some kind of formality—but this was starting to sound like a fulltime job. "Do I have any choice in this?" I asked haltingly.

Silence.

_To put it bluntly? No, kid. You don't. You had an infestation, right?_

"Yeah."

_That means you can see them, and that means they'll never leave you alone. It's best to protect yourself, and as long as you're one of the few who can see them, it stands to reason that you should protect others as well. Whether you like it or not, now that they've got a hold on your life, they're not going away._

A cold spot seemed to form in my stomach, and I hesitated. This had to be an awful dream…how could anyone trust me with that kind of responsibility? The only time I'd ever had a hamster, it managed to die of overeating, and Mom wouldn't even hear of keeping fish in the house anymore. Sure, Riku and I'd fought on the play island now and again—but was that enough training to keep me safe from a menace that had this whole organization after it?

_Move on,_ the voice said sharply, and I looked up, jerked out of a reverie. _It's over and done now, so move on. Pick one of these,_ he added, and suddenly platforms shot up around me, a Keyblade suspended above each. I wasn't sure what to do, seeing at least twenty of the things all around me, each more intricate than the last. There were huge ones, small ones, ones that didn't really look like keys at all, ones that looked too frail to actually be used in battle—there was even one that looked sort of like the things Axel used (had Riku called them chakrams?), and I wondered briefly how that had gotten there and would Roxas be interested?

But as my eyes swept from one to the next, I realized that I didn't want anything so flashy. I didn't want any of this, for that matter, and it didn't matter so much to me as long as the thing protected me. And then I saw it.

It was pretty simple in design, just a key with no add-ons attached, but its teeth narrowed into a wicked edge that looked extremely damaging. I could almost imagine wielding it, as silly as it looked both in my mind's eye and likely in real life, and felt a strange burst of anticipation as I took it down from its pedestal.

_That one, then, huh?_ the voice asked, sounding amused. _Interesting._

I glared at the Keyblade as if this was its fault. "Why does everyone keep saying that about me?" I asked it, not expecting an answer from the voice.

A door opened in what I realized was a black wall around me. In fact, that's all it ever was—a black wall, not an endless expanse, and the platform below me was, in fact, the floor. Looking at it now, all that seemed obvious…but only moments ago, it had seemed so real.

_This place is weird,_ I decided firmly, and walked out, leaving the voice and the rest of the Keyblades in the darkness.

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Author's Note: Lemme know if following the different classes is difficult and I'll compile a list of which ones we've hit so far. Riku's also been too emotional for my taste, and I've been trying to fix that, but it's hard when he resists.

On Lea: I do not consider Lea a 'Sue, if only because she has limited involvement in the storyline and no (current) romantic attachments with the canon. However, she did not pass her litmus test, so feel free to bash and flame to your heart's content, and I will pass your sentiments on to her.


	4. Disorganization

Riku was waiting for me when I finally made it through the long hallway back to civilization, looking more and more vexed with Axel and Roxas. The two of them hadn't left one another's sides since Roxas had shown up, and now they were seated at one of the tables at the food court, sharing a milkshake and doing interesting things with their straws. "It's enough that they're gay," Riku was saying, annoyed and keeping his eyes firmly on me instead of what was happening behind me. "They don't have to be so _gay_ about it," he continued, idly rolling one of his French fries into a ball with his index finger. It wasn't a French fry, exactly—but a little orange thing that kind of looked like one, and tasted faintly of beans. We'd taken to calling them French fries anyhow.

I snorted into my drink (a blue and red concoction that we were calling a Coke for the time being) at that. "Uh, Riku, that's like asking you to stop being so _masculine_ about being masculine."

He shot me a sour look, and rested his chin on his fists. "I'd be more worried if I were you," he remarked, raising his eyebrows. "After all, you and Roxas are awfully close. I'd hate to think he's an indication what you might be…"

"He's not. Straight as a straitjacket, thank you please."

I looked up then, feeling eyes on me, and realized Riku was smirking. "I can tell you one thing," he said then, and my Stupid Ballsy Contest alarm started to blare. "If I _was_ gay, I'd have you on your back in a minute."

The alarm advised that I remain silent.

My eyes narrowed and I spat the straw to one side. "Oh, _please_!" I replied with a self-confident grin. "Have you forgotten how many times I beat you at wrestling? You'd go _down_."

"Not on your life," Riku growled, his eyes glinting with competition now.

The alarm advised that I change the subject.

"So, what?" I asked, spreading my legs out to grip the chair in case Riku knocked the table over or something. "You wanna have a go?"

The alarm _strongly_ advised that I change the subject.

"_You_ wanna have a go?"

"Right here? Right now?"

"You ready?"

"Born ready."

"Let's do this," Riku growled huskily, and we both leapt around the table at one another. We hit the floor on our sides and rolled—and then I was on top, straddling Riku's waist and reaching for his arms.

"Gotcha now!" I called to him, celebrating with a mad round of laughter. "I gotcha now! Whatcha gonna—oh—whoa!"

Riku smirked, his eyes gleaming, as he knocked one of my legs out from under me and I fell to one side, catching myself on my hand. Too late—that went out from under me, too, and Riku was above me, one of my wrists in either hand. "Who's got who?" he asked in a low, knowing voice. I struggled, kicking the floor—I would NOT lose like this!

With a forceful yank, I got one of my hands free and slammed my arm into his side, knocking him over and down with a grunt. I went for his wrists first this time—those dangerous things—and made sure his legs were too far behind me to do any good. Leaning in close to his ear, I whispered a line I'd heard off a movie once— "_I have you now_."

Whoa. Hell, what was _that_ just now? Did Riku just shiver? Because of something I did? But this was just a game…

Sensing weakness, Riku jerked his hands free and flipped me over, above me again. "Gotcha now," he murmured in my ear, taking an extra second to nibble at my earlobe.

Hey—_no_! This had better stop _right now_!

"What're you doing?"

Bless Roxas. Bless him.

"Something stupid," Riku told him bluntly, straightening into a sitting position on my stomach but keeping my hands firmly pinned to the floor. "Why?"

Roxas was staring at us with something like revulsion in his eyes. Not that he could talk, I thought defensively. "Uh, you guys…aren't even married yet, are you?" he asked.

"Should we be?" Riku replied nonchalantly, and I tried and failed to kick him. "We were just imagining what's probably going to happen between you two tonight," he added, indicating Axel as the redhead approached.

The Sylph stared at him. "I…I guess, if we wanted to end it that soon, but…" He cocked his head to one side, perplexed.

Axel let out a sigh and rolled his eyes, and I knew we were missing a critical bit of Rabbit Hole culture. "You don't consummate the marriage," he drawled, hugging Roxas from behind, "until you're ready to end it. Then you can move on to someone else, or just take a break and have your partner back in a little while. Assuming he hasn't remarried by that time," he added, resting his chin atop Roxas's soft spikes and smiling down at him. "Love works differently here. We don't go crazy and screw over and over—once is enough. Variety is the spice of life," he remarked, raising his eyebrows.

Riku's eyes had narrowed shrewdly. "And where does a follower fit in to all that?" he asked then.

"A follower is someone you're willing to screw more than once," Axel explained idly. "That's after the first marriage, though. And followers come and go, like the seasons."

"But—isn't that a little—promiscuous?" I sputtered.

"By your terms, I guess," Axel replied as he and Roxas pulled away from one another, Roxas heading back for their table and the milkshake. "But like I said, it's different here. The fundamental building blocks of love are in a completely different arrangement, in a way that makes it almost impossible to narrow the focus to only one. A devotion is as far as we'll go," he added sharply. "Anyway, we're about to head back—you've got your weapon, right?"

"My—" I looked around in a panic. I'd just had it! Where'd it get to?

"Right here, Sora," Riku said then, pulling it out of thin air and handing it to me. "You're gonna have to get used to calling it to you."

I nodded, then frowned, and looked at him. "How'd you call it? Isn't it mine?"

"Yeah, but I have one too," Riku reminded me, getting up off my stomach. "It's not all that different." He held out a hand, which I took and let him help me up. "I guess it's a good thing your girlfriend didn't see us," he remarked lightly, smirking. "Can't have her thinking you're a bottom."

"Hey! We weren't done there!" I told him harshly, glaring at him as he started away. "Besides, —!"

I frowned. The name I had been about to say escaped me just then, and I couldn't recall whose it was. Did I…wait, I didn't even… "Riku, I'm not the one with the girlfriend, you are," I reminded him, poking him in the shoulder as I caught up to him.

"Uh, right," he said hesitantly, raising an eyebrow. "Why? You still trying to steal her from me?"

"No, Kairi and I don't—it's just that you just said…" I stopped then, hesitating. Had he? It seemed like he had just mentioned my girlfriend…my girlfriend that I didn't have…_hadn't he_? Just now? I couldn't remember.

"You wanna sit down or something?" he asked then, suddenly concerned. "You're looking a little weird…"

"No, I…no, I'm fine," I said, frowning. "I just…I dunno, I heard you wrong, I guess."

Riku gave me a sympathetic look. "Your brain's probably still all scrambled from the infestation," he pointed out. "Not to mention everything we've been going through around here. I think it's time we went home."

"Splendid idea!" came a voice from behind us, and Axel approached with a bright red box in hand. "I just got this from Lea," he said to Riku. "It's a good thing she likes you—we got extra spyurts at no charge!" he pointed out, opening the kit to reveal that the spyurt box was about to explode.

"Hold on, we have to _pay_ for this stuff?" I asked, balking. Mom and I weren't exactly in a financial position where we could just buy what we pleased—especially for long term.

"No no no, you pay in coins," Axel explained. "For every Heartless you kill, you earn one coin, and a coin will buy one of each," he said, gesturing to the kit. "First-time kits are free, but Roxas killed enough of them in that infestation that you've got a healthy profit sitting in your account right now anyway." Then he paused, the expression on his face speculative. "You know, with this give and take stuff," he began in a promising tone, like one about to reveal the meaning of life, "it almost seems like a video game or something. Doesn't it?"

"You're demented, Axel," Riku said bluntly.

"Don't go getting all existentialist on me," Roxas told him as he approached, waving a hand as if to swat a fairy of misfortune. "That stuff gives me a headache." He leaned up on tiptoe to plant a quick kiss on Axel's cheek, and drew away towards the door. "C'mon. It's time these two got home, and we probably need to be on duty tomorrow."

"How do we get back?" Riku asked Axel. "Should we just go back to the sign-in?"

"Probably," the Phoenix replied, which didn't help any. "We have to go back there anyway to pick up Saix. He's probably been chatting up Lea ever since we left," he muttered, hypocritically wrapping an arm around Roxas's shoulders as they walked.

Saix was waiting for us, bright orange hair dropping over his shoulders as he leaned against the sign-in desk. Or no, purple. Red now. Huh?

It took me a minute to realize that Saix's hair was simply changing colors of its own accord, flipping between blue and green as he twirled a strand of it around his finger. "Hey," Axel said, interrupting the Doppleganger's reverie as he shook the porcelain man's shoulder. Saix snapped back to reality, and his hair turned blue again as he turned pale yellow eyes on Axel questioningly. "You were going all rainbow for a second there. Thinking about someone important?"

Saix's eyes narrowed, but he didn't reply to that, instead turning to the rest of us as we joined them. "Did you get the weapon okay?"

"Without a hitch," I said, hefting it briefly as evidence.

"What about your scar?" Axel wanted to know, poking it and making Saix draw away sharply with a snarl.

"I _told_ you not to do that!" he told the redhead sharply, administering a sharp rap to Axel's head. "It's permanent," he said then, quieting down. "There's nothing they can do."

I expected Axel to rib him about it again, but the Phoenix only bowed his head slowly. Even though Saix's voice was stolid and unemotional, there was the faintest undertone of disappointment—but from the difference it made in his icy demeanor, it could've been a full-blown scream of frustration.

"Demyx should be here in a minute," he said then, looking at his watch. "Getting awfully late…" Then he looked up sharply. "Yeah," he said, speaking to someone I couldn't see or hear. "Yeah, we're all here. Five this time. Ready."

This time I didn't have time to grab onto Riku, and we both fell on the floor heavily as the jarring trip back to Demyx's room ended. We looked up just as Demyx counted us, his finger bobbing as he moved around the room. He frowned. "That's weird…"

Axel looked at him sharply. "Spill," he commanded.

"The machine blipped. It said six people came through."

"Six?" Axel repeated, and Riku was on his feet as he and Saix looked around swiftly for an intruder. Flames charred the air briefly, and Axel's chakrams were at his side as he scanned the ceiling, eyes intent. "Double check that thing, Demyx—you better make _damned_ sure it was just a blip."

Demyx, though, was shaking his head as he looked through the records. "It doesn't make any sense for something to come through HQ," he argued. "The computers are more advanced over there. They'd find it before we did."

"I don't _care_, Demyx, I don't want a substitution to take place here," Axel was saying. He turned to Saix. "Who's the first girl I ever kissed?"

"Larxene."

Axel nodded, turning to Demyx. "Which eye did Xigbar lose in the palmetto incident?"

"Uh, uhm…!" Demyx faltered, obviously not good at answering questions under pressure. "The right one! The right one!" he squeaked as Saix and Axel advanced on him.

"Okay, good so far," Axel said.

"Who's the first man you ever kissed?" Saix asked Axel then.

Axel blinked, and suddenly turned bright red. "Aw—c'mon, Saix! You know I don't wanna…not _now_…" he trailed off, his eyes darting in Roxas's direction.

Saix called his weapon to him—a huge, menacing blue claymore—and took a step closer. "Axel," he said in a warning tone. "It's procedure. Answer the question."

"I was going to find out somehow anyway," Roxas told him with an amused smirk.

Saix made an abrupt motion and pinned Axel to the wall, his arms trapped uselessly at his sides. "Don't make this hard on yourself," he said in a hushed tone, his eyes glinting with both amusement and determination.

The Phoenix rolled his eyes. "You _know_ it's me," he said shortly. "I don't see why we have to draw it out into this—"

"_Answer_ the _question_."

Flinching at both the snarl from Saix and the fact that sharp, pointy, painful things had just popped out of the business end of the claymore, Axel muttered something inaudible. "I didn't hear that," Saix told him patiently.

"I said Vexen! All right? Vexen! I was young and stupid!" Axel admitted finally, banging his head back against the wall as if to punish himself. He looked relieved when Saix finally moved the claymore away.

Roxas stifled a snicker. "_The_ Vexen? Vexen who works over at avocado? Biochemistry?"

"Yes, _that_ Vexen," Axel muttered sourly. "We were…it's a long story, but it involves hangers," he growled. "Anyway. I need to check you next." He drew close, whispering something in Roxas's ear that made the Sylph turn several shades of red. After several moments, during which the blush darkened another four shades, Roxas stuttered a hushed response, and Axel drew away. "It's him all right," he assured Demyx and Saix, smirking.

Roxas sank into a clam chair, the thought _Why do I know that about him?!_ plainly evident on his face.

"Riku," Axel said, and my best friend snapped to attention. Axel hesitated then, but sighed and pressed on. "What was your other's name?"

I looked sharply at Riku, who stiffened. "Xu…Xurik," he managed faintly.

It was clear that Axel had tried to think of something else, but couldn't. He shot Riku an apologetic look and turned to me. "Er…"

"I'll do him," Riku said then. "I'm clean now, right?"

Why did that sound so sexual all of a sudden?

"Yeah," Axel said with a shrug. "Let us know if you want us to plug our ears," he said to me, but the amusement in his eyes told me that Axel, at least, would do no such thing.

Riku turned to me, and for some reason I felt anxious. He wasn't likely to ask me something I didn't know—we had our secrets, our inside jokes, our funny stories of yesteryear, all things both of us knew pretty well—but the pressure of being on the spot was unwarranted. He let his lip slip into a pout and outstretched a hand toward me, tilting his head down so he was looking sort of up at me with wide, innocent eyes. "Rubber ducky?"

It took a lot not to break into laughter at that. It was _perfect_! I swallowed a smile and glared at him. "_Don't molest the duck_!" I shrieked like a banshee, and both our facades crumbled into helpless gales of laughter.

The others looked at us like we had gone stark raving mad, which is how anyone would have interpreted it who hadn't been in the cafeteria that day. "Rubber ducky?" was a little line I tended to throw out in the bathtub when I was little, and one day when I was fourteen Riku overheard it while we were watching home movies at Mom's insistence. He thought it was hilarious, and, much to my embarrassment, related this to Kairi and the others over lunch. At Riku's reenactment of it, Kairi had suddenly gotten this crazy look on her face and shrieked, "_Don't molest the duck_!" Which, of course, turned it into an instant classic, to be repeated for lunch hours to come.

At any rate, it worked, and even if Riku and I were still killing off giggles between us, we were both fairly certain that the other wasn't a substitution.

"I say we kill them both," Axel muttered. "They get onto me about this world being all random and then do something _completely illogical_…"

"So, agreed, we don't have any fakes walking around," Demyx interrupted, trying to bring the situation back under control. "Do you guys see anything in the room?"

"Not thus far," Saix reported, and we all kind of gave it a once over to make sure.

"Then I say it's a blip," Demyx said, swinging an arm over the back of his chair and turning to Axel with a shrug. "Sometimes the computer drops a bit, that's all. It might've doubled Roxas's input for some reason."

Axel didn't look happy about this. The chakrams vanished into nothing, and he reached out to stroke the top of the monitor lovingly. "You stupid piece of shit," he said quietly, each word sugary sweet.

Meanwhile, the blond Naiad sitting next to him had stiffened, his eyes on Axel's hand. "Uh, Axel, don't hurt my computer, okay?" he asked plaintively, knowing very well that a sudden flash of anger could turn our line to the Service into a melted, burning mass of twisted metal.

Axel looked like he was about to reply to that—that or smash the computer—but just then the door opened behind us. " 'Ey," a gruff voice called, and in the next second Axel had forgotten all about the computer.

"XIGBAR!" he shouted jubilantly, dashing over to the Cyborg and catching him in a rough embrace. "It's been so long! I was starting to wonder if you could tear yourself away from the battlefield."

"Ehh, took awhile," Xigbar replied with a lopsided grin. "Hard to keep from slaughtering those Girl Scouts out there." He clasped Axel's shoulder tightly for a moment as he stepped into the room, and as he passed into the light, Riku and I could catch a better glimpse of him.

Funnily enough, Xigbar looked almost nothing like a Cyborg. That is, his right eye was clearly cybernetic, but otherwise, he just had a few scars here and there. His salt-and-pepper hair was extremely long, and caught up in a ponytail that trailed down his back. A few scars twisted around his bare arms, and one poked out of the sleeve of his halter-top, disappearing as he greeted Saix and Demyx with similar displays of gruff affection.

"Who're you babysitting?" he said to Axel, jabbing a thumb at us.

"Nobody, as far as I can tell," Riku informed him coldly.

I was tired, though, and didn't feel like letting them get into an argument that I would inevitably get dragged into. "I'm Sora, he's Riku," I said quickly, waving at each of us respectively. "I hate his stupid guts."

Riku shot me an injured look. "Hey, now."

"It means 'best friend ever,' remember?"

Xigbar laughed at that. "Looks like you're getting a feel for this place, then. And how're you holding up here?" he asked Demyx, settling into a clam chair and smacking one of them harshly when it hissed at him.

The Naiad shrugged his thin shoulders at that. "It's been alright," he managed finally. "Not having Saix around sucked, because you know the Dusks, they won't listen to me…"

"Bullshit," Xigbar said dismissively, waving a hand. "Sic your water clones on them. Dusks hate water." He raised an eyebrow at Saix. "It's awfully lonely here. Seems like Xemnas was talking about pulling the original thirteen back together."

"Only talking about it," Saix replied delicately, crossing his legs. "It'd be a job, and I'm sure you know about Xemnas's aversion to work. He loves to talk about working, though."

Axel grunted. "Xemnas loves to talk. Period."

Saix smirked at that, but then sighed, frowning. "Zexion's downstairs, of course, but you know Vexen—always caught up in his work. At least he's getting more respect nowadays."

Xigbar rolled his eyes. "Respect. The way he went on about it, you'd think he got off to it or something."

"Probably did," Axel remarked with a snicker. "He made it too much fun to knock him off his high horse. Should've been a little quieter."

"Lexaeus is still out on the battlefield," Saix continued, ticking them off on his fingers now. "Nobody really knows or cares what happened to Marluxia, and Larxene's probably off feeding children to those revolting Yahtzee plants…"

"I think I know what happened to Marluxia, then," Axel murmured. "Anyway, from what I know, Luxord opened up a couple casinos in banana, Xemnas is doing his best to get himself killed, and I have no idea what Xaldin's up to, but I'd bet my left nut it involves stabbing things."

"It's not exactly very likely they'll be interested in a reunion," Saix finished, shrugging his shoulders.

I was not expecting Xigbar's right arm to discombobulate and recalibrate itself into a small computer, which he then used his left index finger to peruse. I guess I should've seen it coming, but I didn't, and the sudden scream of gears and whirr of machinery almost sent me into a panic before I realized what was going on. After a moment, he chuckled. "Xaldin's a successful teppanyaki chef right here in pear," he reported.

"And you looked that up why?" Axel wanted to know.

"Because I wanted to see if someone'd have to collect on that bet of yours," Xigbar told him, morphing his arm back to normal with an unpleasant leer. "Looks like Xaldin's unquelchable lust for the art of stabbing saved you, though."

Saix rose then and crossed to lean against the wall, looking disinterested. "I don't know why you've latched onto this idea of getting back together anyhow," he said to Xigbar dully.

"I haven't _latched onto_ it," Xigbar protested. "I just miss people, that's all."

"What's there to miss?" Saix asked airily. "A bunch of people who in general hated everyone else in the group, all working to beat back the Heartless and keep the war from happening. All in _vain_. What number were you, anyway? Three?"

"_Two_," Xigbar corrected fiercely. "Xaldin was three, and you were six."

"Seven," Axel reminded him. "Zexion was six."

Xigbar made a derisive noise. "Like the half-pint even counts. You were thirteen, right?" he asked, looking foggily at Axel, as if half-lost in a memory and half-lost in reality.

"Psch. No. I was eight," Axel told him, curling up on his chair and letting his arms hang down the side. "Right after our lucky number here. Thirteen was…"

A jolt seemed to pass through him and Demyx at the same time, and they exchanged furtive glances. Xigbar was tapping his temple, trying to remember. "Oh, that's right! Thirteen was Xurik," he said finally. "Whatever happened to him, anyway? Wasn't he a little young?"

Silence. I felt Riku stiffen beside me.

Axel finally dragged himself back into a sitting position and sighed. "Xurik's not…Xurik didn't make it," he said quietly.

The Cyborg looked surprised at that, and Saix's eyes widened in astonishment. "What—_Xurik_? Of all pe…?" Xigbar let that sentence die at the look on Axel's face. "Well was it an infestation, a substitution gone wrong, what?" he demanded, angry and incredulous at once.

"Infestation," Axel told him, passing a hand over his eyes. "He wasn't even _him_ anymore. We had to do something."

Saix sighed heavily from his place by the wall, closing his eyes.

"Aw, that's a bitch," Xigbar muttered faintly, his head resting in his hands. "That is just a _bitch_. The kid…wow. Gone. Just like that."

A stiff silence filled the room for a few moments. Then—

"So hey!" Demyx began, and quickly changed the subject to something brighter.

Riku yawned beside me, and I realized I was losing interest as well. It had been a long, confusing day, and was getting much later than I wanted to think about. "Axel," I heard Roxas say from behind me, sounding drowsy. "We really should get these two back now, and it's past my bedtime."

"How cute," Xigbar cooed at him, smirking. "Where'd you guys pick up this marshmallow, anyw—?" He stopped short just then and stared at Roxas's hand, blinking. "Axel? Did you…dude! Did you marry this kid?" he asked then, looking up at the rising Axel incredulously.

"Oh—uh, yeah," Axel replied, waving his ringed hand somewhat distractedly.

"When?"

"This afternoon."

"_Today_?" Xigbar whistled. "I just missed it, then. Congrats. This is your first one, right? I mean, after that thing with Vexen—"

"Yeah," Axel cut him off firmly. "_First_."

"I still say Larxene was an idiot to let you get away," Xigbar remarked then, smirking.

" 'Preciate it, but we really do have to go," Axel told him, crossing to Roxas's side. "Roxas and I'll be back in a couple of minutes. Is it cool if he rooms here?"

"Fine by me," Xigbar said, leaning back in his seat. "Maybe he could stay in Xaldin's room.

"Ahh, too many sharp things," Demyx cautioned swiftly.

"He can probably use Larxene's old room," Saix suggested. "Though I shudder to think what'll happen if she finds out."

"Frankly, I think even Xemnas's room would be safer than that," Axel informed him. "But he can always room with me," he added, allowing himself a lecherous smirk. "C'mon, guys," he said to us, nudging the two of us out of our chairs. We moved a bit like zombies, I guess, too tired to really focus on where we were going.

"See you later, guys," Demyx called after us, and Saix and Xigbar offered a few murmured farewells. Riku and I returned them blandly and trudged on after Axel, blinking blearily. What the hell time was it, I wondered vaguely. Probably like two in the morning.

Roxas and Axel chatted mildly up ahead of us, Axel pointing a few things out about Nada Apex that Roxas would probably come to know pretty well. The severance from whatever home he had in plum had been sudden and uneventful, and I vaguely wondered if he had any regrets. But I wasn't lucid enough to ask him that, and soon we were back in the empty place with the pink sand. No matter how weird this world got, it seemed like it was always consistent when it came to backtracking.

Suddenly I felt Riku's hand on my shoulder, and I looked at him in surprise. "You were out when we came through here the first time," he reminded me. "It's not a fun ride."

I nodded numbly, wondering what could be worse than the transition from Nada Apex to the Service's HQ, and I soon found out.

_Goddammit, WHY!_

_Why_ has it always gotta be _falling_?

The world leveled out and deposited us on the connected islet of what I realized was the play island. "You guys can figure your way back from here, right?" Axel asked us, drawing a sleepy Roxas close. I took that moment to notice that the both of them had shed their abnormalities—if Axel had fur, I couldn't see it under the thick black cloak, and Roxas was wearing an identical one, with no trace of a horn on his head.

"Yeah, I'm sure we can…"

I looked over at Riku in surprise, realizing that his mouth had dropped open as if he'd just realized something. But he just kept looking at Axel, and his jaw slowly lowered…went even farther than I thought was humanly possible, and…

I didn't even hear it when Axel cursed and Roxas screamed, too focused on the sight of Riku's cheeks splitting open as his jaw slowly separated from the rest of his face. Axel was shouting something to Roxas, and I saw him vanish into something dark and swirling out of the corner of my eye, but none of it mattered. I couldn't bring myself to move, could only stare at the impossible as Riku's whole jaw dropped to the ground. His tongue lolled uselessly in its absence, blood spraying against his hands as he felt around for the missing part of his face desperately. He sank to his knees, his eyes wide and almost bursting with tears as distorted, anguished screams tore out from his throat. I dropped to the sand, unable to function. I didn't ask why—I couldn't process why or how—all I could do was stare, like some dumbfounded kid at a freak show. Riku was sobbing now, great, heaving sobs that tore at my heartstrings and made me want to go to him…but did I have the strength? Roxas was beside me now, saying something, trying to instruct me, but I couldn't hear him. All that mattered was Riku, Riku in pain, Riku in anguish and I could do nothing…

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Author's Note: Wow, this is actually my first cliffhanger…weird. I used to be famous for those. Anyway, maybe it's jarring enough to catch a few people off guard—I forget where I got the idea of a jaw falling off, maybe it was from John Dies at the End. Some disturbing stuff happened in there.

To anyone who DOES care what happened to Marluxia, not to worry! He's in no danger at present. I think. Maybe.


	5. Someone Missing

I don't even remember blacking out, but I must have, because in the next second someone was shaking me roughly. "Sora!" a voice was calling. "Sora, come on!"

My eyelids fluttered and I tasted sand, slowly realized that we were still on the beach, and I could still hear Riku screaming. I garbled his name and sat up, looking around for him, my stomach turning almost audibly as I remembered what had just happened—I had to do something, had to help…

A hand seized the side of my face and turned it firmly away. "No. Don't look. He's falling apart."

A choked whimper of protest rose to my lips at that, but I froze as my eyes came to rest on the impossible.

Aquamarine eyes staring back at mine.

Riku.

Riku.

_Riku._

"Axel and Roxas are taking care of it now," he said quietly, a haunted look in his eyes as he glanced back at the place where he'd been standing earlier. "It wasn't me, Sora. That wasn't me. I'm right here."

"Y-you're okay," I managed in a quavering voice. "Aren't you? I mean…you're really…I was so…" I put out a hand and touched his jaw, pressed against it, made sure it was there. Then I couldn't hold back—I grabbed him in a tight embrace, pulling him close, hoping I'd never have to hear those screams again, even though they were resounding through my ears right now. I buried my face in his shoulder and tried to ignore them, tried to remind myself that he was okay, and let out a shuddering, dry sob. "Oh thank god," I choked out faintly, my throat working to keep more sobs from escaping. "Thank _god_…" My whole body shook violently with the battle against the tears, but Riku didn't seem to mind.

"Shhhh," he whispered soothingly, running a hand down the nape of my neck, and I lost it. I don't really know if it was trauma, or shame, or just pure, unadulterated relief that made me cry like a baby into his shoulder, but he didn't say a word. He just sat there and held me, still running his fingers over the back of my neck and waiting for it to work itself out.

"S…s-sorry," I managed finally, pulling away and wiping futilely at his shirt, which was damp with tears, as if that would dry it. "I-I just…"

"I know," he said with the shadow of a smile. "I cried my first time, too. But mine was much easier than yours."

Trying to act like I wasn't concerned about it, I wiped at my eyes, steeled myself, and looked back at Axel and Roxas. Sometime in the past few moments, the screaming had silenced, and now I could see why. There was a pool of blood where Riku had been earlier…at least, it had looked like Riku, but if the one sitting next to me was any indication, it must've been something else. I suddenly realized that a few bits and pieces of a person were floating in that pool, and I turned away, gagging sharply.

"It was a substitution," Axel reported, grunting as he and Roxas bent down to deal with it. "Poorly made. Couldn't handle the transition."

"Good thing, too," Roxas remarked. "It sounded like he was about to make off with Sora here, and we would've been none the wiser."

Riku's arm, still draped around my shoulders, tightened slightly.

"A s-substitution," I repeated, frowning. "So…he…did what exactly?"

"Substitutions occur in transit," Riku explained. "I realized it must've happened when you guys were gone and I was still between worlds."

I sighed. It felt like it'd be eons before I caught up to him in this terminology business. "Between worlds?"

"Pink sand."

"Ah."

"We've got," Axel said between grunts, "to be…more…_care_ful." He sat back on his knees, breathing hard as if he'd just put down something really heavy, and I looked back to see that the pool of blood was completely gone, as well as the rest of the Riku substitute. "The blip in the machine was bad enough, but for a substitution to follow us here…" He bit his lip. "I'm half-inclined to take you guys back to Zenith for the night."

Riku waved his hand dismissively at that. "We'll be all right," he assured them. "It takes them forever to set this kind of thing up. I doubt they'll be able to make something new tonight, at the very least."

Axel studied him critically, then looked at me. I blinked at him, and he rolled his eyes towards Riku sharply. _Oh_, I realized, and I pouted at Riku. "Rubber ducky?"

"Don't molest the duck," Riku recited wearily, standing. "It's me, all right? I just…don't want to think about spending the night over there, after spending all day," he admitted. "We'd probably wake up inside of a strawberry or something."

"Only on Wednesdays!" Axel and Roxas chorused just then in matching singsong voices.

Riku and I just kind of looked at them for a minute. "Yeah, I rest my case," Riku said bluntly, starting for the boats. "See you tomorrow, guys," he called.

"The park," Axel told him. "Three."

"Bye, Sora," Roxas called to me, and I waved back to the two of them as I followed Riku.

I hurried to catch up with him, and realized that only our boats were still there. He and Axel must have brought me across with them on these, I mused, and sank into mine, feeling the familiar wood against my back and letting out a sigh of relief. It was good to be back to something I knew and understood.

" 'Night, Sora," Riku said then, pulling his oar out from the bottom of his boat, and I hesitated. Riku's island was completely opposite mine—we couldn't even see each other because the play island was in the way. Somehow…after seeing him like that on the beach, the thought of being away from him made me all antsy inside.

"Uh…Riku?" I managed, grabbing his boat by the back as it swept forward. He looked back at me, his eyes questioning. "Is it…would you mind if I came with you, tonight?" I asked hesitantly. "I mean—not like that, I just…after what happened…"

Blessedly, he understood. "Sure. Climb in," he said, tapping the seat across from him with the oar. I gratefully vaulted over and sat, keeping my oar with me to make the job faster. We reached his house in no time, and slipped up the tree that led to his room like shadows. Once we were inside, I looked around hesitantly. I'd been over at his house before, but I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept over, and I'd certainly been prepared then.

Riku, though, just slipped his shoes off and collapsed into his double bed—always a point of jealousy for me. "Don't worry about it," he garbled at me, his voice muffled by the mattress. "Don't worry about _anything_. Let's just sleep now, huh?"

I smiled. I could agree with that one. Slipping off my shoes, I dropped my vest on the chair by his computer and slid in next to him as he dug his feet under the covers and yanked them up around him. We relaxed then, facing one another, and after a minute I opened my eyes. He was blinking blearily, and when he realized I was watching him, he smiled. "Warm," he remarked eloquently.

"Yeah," I replied with a muted chuckle.

We didn't say anything after that, and I started to drop off to sleep, listening faintly to the calming ticking of the clock on his dresser. It was something reliable and safe, something to depend on, that a tick would always follow the last one…tick…tick…tick…

"Hay…Sor…"

With a fair amount of coaxing, I got my eyes to open again, and realized Riku was struggling against sleep. "Meant to tell you," he mumbled thickly. "When we…were at the food court…French fries…and I…"

I groaned faintly and closed my eyes again, adjusting my position a little to get more comfortable. "Save it for the morning, Riku," I told him, too tired to function right now.

I could faintly hear his deep, even breaths for a time, and I knew he was trying to weigh the benefits of replying against the disadvantages of dragging himself further into consciousness. " 'Kay," he replied simply, his voice faint from exhaustion. And sleep swooped in to claim us.

* * *

When I gradually came to the next morning, it was to the faint rushing of a shower going in the next room. I blinked, trying to remember where I was and why this didn't feel like my bed, and suddenly remembered the events of last night. Riku's side of the bed was empty, and I sat up, yawning. A few of my zippers had embedded themselves into uncomfortable places, and I knew the seams of my shorts had drawn red lines up and down my legs, but I was otherwise none the worse for wear. Rising, I approached the mirror and tried to get my hair in some sort of order.

I heard the shower handle squeak loudly as the water cut off, and Riku entered a minute later, a towel slung around his narrow hips as he used another one to dry his hair. He hadn't cut it since he was about fourteen, I mused, and it was getting awfully long now. "Morning," he said to me.

Frowning at my reflection, I grunted in response, and let out a cry of surprise as Riku bent over and shook his head fiercely like a wet dog, spraying me with water. "Cut it out!" I ordered, smacking him.

He grinned and ruffled my hair—_just_ when I was making progress, too—and moved to his dresser. I kept my eyes respectfully turned away as he dropped the towel and rooted around for boxers. "We'll probably have to meet up with Axel and Roxas at the park," he was saying, and I noticed the red box that was his kit on his bedstand. "You guys probably need a couple test runs before we let you run off on your own."

"And _you_," I said to him, jabbing him in the chest when he was decent, "need to go see Kairi. She's probably worried sick."

Riku nodded, glancing at his phone where the answering machine was flashing ominously. "Yeah. Kairi," he mumbled, straightening the shirt he'd just pulled on. "Listen, Sora…" he began in a voice that made alarms ring in my ears. It wasn't the Stupid Ballsy Contest alarm, though—this was more of an Oh Shit Something's Horribly Wrong: Support Your Best Friend for the Sake of Everything Holy and Sacred alarm. "That thing at the food court…"

I grimaced inwardly. The thing at the food court. I wasn't so sure I wanted to talk about the thing at the food court. "Yeah?" I prodded anyway, knowing it was better to get it out in the open, whatever it was.

"It wasn't…I mean, it wasn't serious, I just—" He glared at himself in the mirror a minute, not daring to look at me. "If I said something," he began again after a minute, "that was really weird, and…and maybe even _wrong_, you wouldn't…" His eyes locked with mine for a split second, but then flickered away, as if scared of what he'd find within them. "You wouldn't hate me, would you?" he asked finally, expelling a deep sigh.

I tried to imagine something weird enough and wrong enough to make me hate him. Maybe if he was an alien or something—but, well, that might actually be kind of cool. "Of course," I told him quickly. "I mean—of course _not_, you know—you know what I meant," I added, floundering.

He shot me a grateful smile, but it disappeared in the next second as he ran a hand through his hair. "Lately, I've been wanting to, um…get a little more, you know, intimate," he began a little shakily. "And…Kairi's been so…well, against it—you know how she gets about that…and then, I dunno, I was watching Roxas and Axel, and they were so quick about it, or it seemed like that at first…"

A bad feeling was pooling in my stomach, and it must have shown on my face, because Riku glanced at me and then drummed his fingers on the dresser anxiously. "Look, it's got nothing to do with you personally, all right? I…just…I'm sorry for…yeah. The truth behind it was…I kind of wanted to experiment a little. But you were completely the wrong person to go to, and I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable," he finished quickly, and I could almost see him thinking, _There, I said it. It's over._ It was my turn to make a judgment call, with Riku looking at me like a puppy awaiting euthanasia.

It took me a minute to respond. Experiment? With _Riku_? The idea was so foreign to me that it made Zenith look like a sensible, logical place. Still, it made sense, in a way. If I had been getting a little, ah—_frustrated_, shall we say—I probably would've considered him too. Although it was hard to say whether the notion would've crossed my mind, now that it already had.

Riku's an attractive guy, I guess—and it's not like I haven't seen him naked—but I'd never looked at him in that light, and probably never would've if this hadn't come up. He'd never struck me as "beautiful" in any sense of the word, probably because I'm just so used to him. In fact, I know it's hard to believe, but he was (by comparison to now, anyway) a frazzled mess when we first met, and just kind of developed out of that phase. So in the back of my mind, I still remembered him as Riku with a mole on his shoulder (surgically removed about five years ago at his adamant insistence), Riku who can't be bothered to fool with his hair (dramatic changes after seeing Leonardo DiCaprio's in Titanic), Riku who works out too much to be healthy and usually smells a little of sweat (cologne and frequent showering did wonders to that problem).

In short, perverts, I wasn't attracted to him and never would be.

But that didn't make it any easier. I could see him spiraling into despair even now, brought on by the awkward silence as I tried to puzzle this out. I had to say something, had to do something—like I hadn't back on the beach when…but that hadn't been him, I tried to remember. Still, he deserved better than for me to just stand by and watch him unravel from the inside out.

"Hey, it's all right," I assured him awkwardly. "I, uh…I think lots of people experiment like that. It's probably…probably perfectly normal."

_Bullshit,_ his eyes told me, but I could tell he was grateful for it anyhow.

"And I, um…" Oh, god, was I really about to say this?! "I could almost see…you know, just for k-kicks…uh…"

He stared at me. "No, I just wanted to apologize! We don't have to…er…"

"Well, yeah, I mean, only if you…"

"Are you saying you…seriously…?"

"Um, it might be…er…i-interesting…you think?"

Riku was trying to respond to that, but ended up looking like he was chewing on his tongue, and we both suddenly burst into laughter. "This is so _weird_!" he lamented lightly, shaking his head and blushing.

"Yeah. Uh, maybe we can talk it over…later," I decided awkwardly, trying to push it to a corner of my mind to forget. "We should probably go."

He nodded. "You gonna shower?" he asked, jabbing a thumb at the bathroom.

"Haven't got clothes over here."

Riku made a derisive sound. "You can borrow some of mine. You'll probably want something loose-fitting anyway."

"Fine, if you _insist_," I replied, rolling my eyes and strutting past him. "I bet you just want to see me naked."

I caught a punishing blow to the head for that one, and disappeared into the bathroom with a snicker.

* * *

"Riku!"

We both looked up at the sound of her voice, and she came running along the pier to us, her eyes bright and her hair bouncing against her back. Riku dropped his oar and spread out his arms, and she flung herself into his embrace, the two of them spinning briefly with momentum as her feet left the ground. They drew apart and she kissed him once, firmly, and glared at him. "You _never_ return my calls," she told him sharply. "And this time your mom didn't even know where you were! What exactly happened? Aren't you supposed to be home by at least eleven?"

"It was, you know, the job," he said vaguely, shrugging. "I had to work late. We had a couple of problems."

A jolt went through me as I suddenly realized what his "summer job" was. I was a little surprised and hurt that he'd kept this from me for so long—he'd had it for at least a year. Sometimes he'd even disappeared inexplicably during the school day, only to show up hours later and ask weird questions. In fact, I even remembered him asking me if he'd just gone into the men's room once—could that have been a substitution?

"Then you should at least call and let her know," Kairi was continuing, looking pained. "She was really concerned. Did you talk to her this morning?"

"Of course I did," he replied, silencing her with a quick, chaste kiss. "She wasn't that awake, though. I promise I'll call next time."

I grimaced inwardly. _Don't make promises you can't keep, Riku._

"And where were you?" Kairi asked next, extricating herself from Riku to focus on me. "Your mom's worried too—you never did come home from the doctor's, and they said there was an explosion on the news."

"I…" I hesitated. "I wasn't there. The secretary told me to leave for some reason, and after I did, it just…uh. Exploded. I had to talk to the cops and stuff." _Great cover story, buddy. You should work for the CIA._

"Lucky you left," Riku interrupted then. "We got to see a little at work—they said it was a bomb threat, and the doctor didn't call it in. He was being held at chak—at gunpoint. Oh, by the way, Sora's going to be joining me at the job now," he added to Kairi, who had been eyeing me suspiciously until that moment.

"Really?" she asked, looking from him to me. "That's good. I was a little worried you'd end up lying around on the beach all summer, you lazy bum," she remarked, punching my shoulder playfully.

"You mean like _you_?" Riku pointed out, smirking knowingly.

But Kairi didn't reply to that. Her eyes had found the oversized jacket and slacks I was wearing, and she arched an eyebrow. "Is there a reason why you stayed at Riku's?" she asked sharply, seeming to sense that we weren't telling her something.

"He came by my work after the explosion and all," Riku put in smoothly. "Ended up staying with me. You know how he gets when something like that happens."

I clenched my jaw at that, and told him with my eyes that he would pay for that one. Then I obligingly acted embarrassed and traumatized.

Kairi's heart melted at that, and she let out a little warble. "I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that," she said sympathetically. "I know it was hard when that thing happened at school…"

Riku was nodding sagely. "And I had to cheer him up, of course. So we had hot naked mansex all night long."

I broke into snickers, in spite of the very serious discussion we'd had earlier, and Kairi narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend.

"Stop it. You know I'd have to murder you," she told him, capturing his lips in a mildly possessive kiss. "So what do you guys wanna do today? Oh—when do you have to be on duty?" she asked then with a little salute.

"By three," I said, looking at my watch. Then I put my hands in my pockets and bumped her playfully with my shoulder. "I dunno. What do you wanna do today?"

Riku bumped her too, and she giggled before bumping us both back. "Sure, ask _Kairi_," he said, grinning. "Kairi always has the best ideas. Like building a raft, for instance. That was a hoot, wasn't it?"

She growled at him. "The raft would've _worked_," she retorted, jabbing him in the ribs, where we both knew Riku was quite vulnerable; "if _someone_ knew how to tie _knots_."

I couldn't help smiling at that. The raft had been a spectacular idea that had ended in a spectacular failure. It broke apart barely five minutes after we shoved off. Riku had abandoned ship immediately, but Kairi and I held on, wavering to maintain balance on two separate clusters of logs as they drifted apart. I'd caught her hand as she fell forward, and just randomly shouted, "I'll come back to you! I promise!"

And you know, it's weird—I can't remember at all what she said in response. It was something melodramatic, but strangely comforting. I remember thinking it was funny she had so much confidence in me, even in jest. Even so, I think it would've been funnier if we quoted Titanic instead, in retrospect.

Anyway, then my hand slipped out of hers, and we both spent several moments reaching for one another dramatically. That is, before Riku grabbed the log under me and jerked it, making me fall backwards into the water. Somehow, the image of Kairi reaching for me as I fell back had invoked a sense of déjà vu, but then I resurfaced and it was all fun and laughter and salty salty _salt_ in my stupid _eyes_—

"Sora?" Riku asked then, and I refocused on them to find them both giving me odd looks. "Were you having a daydream or something? You were sitting there with a stupid grin on your face," he explained.

"Just feeling nostalgic," I told him, shrugging. "Have we come up with something to do yet? I don't think a raft'll cut it."

"Yeah, we have. Here's the agenda," he began as we started in the general direction of the Seaside Shack. "You and I spar, the three of us go fishing, and then if we have time, we catch the premiere of that new animated movie at the Eastern."

"Which one was that?"

"Cars," Kairi replied.

I snorted. "_Cars_? Lemme guess—is it about cars, maybe?"

"Bravo! We have a genius in our midst!" she squealed in a bubbly voice, applauding babysitter style.

We continued to chat amiably on the way to the island, and, unbidden, the thought of Roxas came to mind. I wondered how close he was to his friends—if they had ever just talked like this, or planned out a summer day like this, or even just done nothing for several hours and just lain on the beach together. I wondered if there were parallels between us, like a boy who worked out a lot like Riku, or a loud, crazy girl like Kairi, or…

Or…

I looked at my friends and counted. Two. Two of them. Roxas had had three. But I could clearly remember thinking that we had the same number…

Déjà vu hit. I could remember this. I could remember times like this, when there was something missing, something I couldn't quite place. Something didn't make sense, and if I looked hard enough at it, I felt like it'd be obvious. But it _was_ obvious—Sora, Riku, and Kairi. That's all there were. That's all there had ever been.

_Why does it feel like someone's missing?_

* * *

Author's Note: Sora always ends up crying in my fics. I dunno why. And I tried my damnedest to make Kairi fun and real, since she's just not that way in the game. I'm sure a lot of people who stumble upon this will still hate her devotedly (primarily because she's the proud proprietor of one half of a certain yaoi pairing). Nothing's set in stone, dears—we could really go either way at this point. You wanna put it to a vote? I get 51 percent, you know. :3

And with this, we are about to be halfway through the segment I've written so far. Dayum. I've gotta get cracking…LOTS more to get through, and I don't want to have to postpone stuff (it never gets done when that happens).


	6. The Heartless from Hell

Roxas and Axel were waiting for us when we got back from the movie, the two of us still firing off random quotes at one another and snickering at the few adult jokes that were hidden between the lines. Riku actually had a little trouble driving over there, since he said he kept expecting the cars to talk to him. I told him he was mental. He told me I would never understand his dark, angsty soul, and swore on Myspace to wreak his emo-tastic vengeance upon me.

So we were both in a pretty good mood, still cheery and a little too ready to laugh at anything even remotely funny, and in general not prepared for what we saw facing our compatriots.

Both had their weapons drawn, looking around intently, and that should have been more than enough to put the both of us on guard. Instead, I noticed that Roxas had gone out for some new threads, while Axel was still in the cloak from before, and I was about to make a poorly thought-out and extremely unfunny crack about that (one that only Riku and I would've laughed at, being so movie-drunk). Then I noticed something white appear in front of me, kind of shaped like a tadpole.

Riku made an agreeable sound. "Sperm!"

I decided that was the most hilarious thing I'd ever heard in my life, and doubled over laughing for what felt like forever. When I looked up, though, the "sperm" looked a lot creepier than I remembered. I could make out a shadowy face in it—it looked kind of like a woman staring vacantly forward, her eyes eerily intense and glowing faintly yellow. Then her mouth dropped open and the thing shot straight towards me with a hostile hiss.

I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

Letting out a blood-curdling scream, I threw my hands in front of me—more to keep from seeing it than to protect myself. I'm not sure what I expected to feel, or if I expected to feel anything at all; I think it was the thing itself that scared me, not its potential to harm me. What I ended up feeling was a cold flash, and then I dropped to the ground, shaking and feeling my insides turn hot. The others were around me in an instant, Axel barking directions while Riku tried to get me to talk to him.

"Purge him!" Axel ordered, and a forehead pressed against mine. The thought occurred to me that if it was Riku or Axel who was going to perform it, it might kill me—but I didn't have time to check if it was Roxas before the heat dissipated, replaced by a gentle cool. I opened my eyes in time to see him draw away, and Axel and Riku visibly relaxed behind him.

"Thanks," I said, sitting up gingerly. "What was that thing?"  
"Spirit Heartless," Axel replied, looking around again. "There shouldn't be any more of them. We certainly had a job holding it off before you showed up, though—it's difficult to kill that kind without just purging them." He made a negligent motion, and both chakrams disappeared into thin air again. "All right. For today's lesson, we're going to canvass the park for Heartless," he said, beckoning us towards the benches.

"On our last assignment," Riku explained, shouldering his and Axel's kit, "we had to track down a Dr. Strauss, who'd been taken over by a vicious Kamikaze Heartless. Despite the name, it's a general rule that they don't self-destruct unless they're under extreme stress."

"Stress like getting captured or cornered?" Roxas asked.

"Think more stress like falling backwards into a volcano as you hear it start to erupt beneath you," Axel put in mildly. "This one got particularly upset for some reason, and exploded a little prematurely."

"It was completely Axel's fault," Riku added.

"It was. And we ended up with our infestation case," the Phoenix said, apologetically gesturing to me, "as well as the reason why both of you are even here."

"I don't mind so much," Roxas told him lightly, putting an arm around Axel's waist and snuggling close to the redhead's side as they walked.

I didn't agree with him out loud, but it was kind of nice to be out and about with Riku. It hadn't occurred to me how infrequently I'd been seeing him until now, after a day and a half with him without a moment apart. It used to be like this when we were little, and we'd alternated sleeping over at one another's houses for weeks during the summer. I suddenly realized I'd been missing him for some time now, without completely knowing it.

"Here's how we run it," Axel went on, taking Roxas's and my kit from the blond and tossing it to me. "Roxas and I can sniff out Heartless—we're kind of bred to, back home—and you guys keep an eye on the kits. That kit is our _lifeline_," he added, tapping the blue box seriously. "Not all Heartless are vulnerable to physical attacks, but all of them respond to spyurts, and most of them bite back. You can't lose this thing, no matter what else happens."

I nodded, trying to look like I wasn't scared out of my mind at being the one responsible for our salvation. Riku briefly instructed me on the little button on the side, which allowed for a handy pair of straps to pop out, and we both slung the things across our backs. "Roxas would already kind of know this," Riku explained as we moved to catch up with the other two, who were rooting around for Heartless, "but the Heartless come from Zenith. They're kind of like animals, only…not. Axel likes to call them chaos in its purest form, since they don't make a lot of anatomical sense and have a tendency to shift into different forms—even different phases of existence."

I sort of wanted to point out that Axel wasn't one to talk about anatomical sense and shifting into different forms, but just then the two up ahead of us let out shouts of alarm. "Bleeding Heartless," Axel growled as we caught up. "You two. Physical attacks and spyurts. Go nuts."

The Bleeding Heartless was larger than the Spirit one, but still pretty short—somewhere between three and four feet tall, and evidently derived its name from the fountain of blood eking out from the hole at the top of its head. It was leaking enough to cover the thing in a constantly shifting curtain of blood that did nothing to hide its deformed limbs and eyeless sockets. Some gothic chick probably would've found the thing cute as a button, but I sure as hell didn't—especially not with that gory trail spreading out behind it.

I looked at Roxas, who looked back at me with the same blank expression. I certainly wasn't about to bring a Keyblade to bear on that thing. It'd be an absolute mess. I'm not saying I'm afraid to get my hands dirty, I'm just saying…well, if you'd seen the thing, you wouldn't have wanted to run in there either.

"Spyurts?" Roxas suggested finally.

"Oh," I realized, and fumbled around in the kit. It was a little hard to access back there, but I had plenty of time, since the Bleeding Heartless just kind of squelched toward us at about the speed of a sleepy tortoise. I extracted one of the little star-shaped spyurts and chucked it at the Heartless. It exploded in a little burst of mustard-colored steam.

Nothing. Our Bleeding Heartless still staggered towards us, unharmed.

"I'm out of ideas," I confessed to Roxas.

"You didn't have any in the first place," he reminded me testily. "We must have to bring it down a peg first."

That was exactly what I didn't want to hear. But, since Roxas whipped out his Keyblades and started moving, I grimaced and called for mine. We both dove in, and synchronized pretty well, I might add. Roxas tended to come in from the top, with sharp, punishing blows that didn't do a lot of damage but quickly grew numerous. I was more likely to strike from below, getting in one or two powerful blows before ducking out of the way again.

At first I wasn't sure why we were even taking much caution with the thing. It was sluggish, and didn't look particularly dangerous, even though it was revolting and the smell was horrible. I got a little sloppy from confidence, and quickly realized why Roxas was giving it such a wide berth. At inopportune moments, the thing could shoot a spurt of blood out at me. Well, it might not have been blood, but it was warm and disgusting and smelled like iron, triggering a gag reflex with every whiff. Anyway, concealed in the sudden spurt, there was usually a very large projectile (which hurt) or several very small projectiles (which hurt more). The damned things felt like needles, and the large one could very well be a spear, so after I got a smattering of the little ones in my left arm, I suddenly got really careful. Roxas probably knew about this beforehand, but if he didn't, he certainly learned from my experience.

After we got several good blows in and managed to avoid most of the projectiles, but next to none of the blood, I judged it time to try for a spyurt again. This one did the same as the last—bounced off the thing's head and exploded on its way to the ground. "Maybe it's got a shell or something," Roxas called to me as I opened my mouth to yell in indignation. "See if you can shove one inside it."

Well, gee, Einstein, that can't be too hard, can it? I mean, it's not like this thing can spear me through the gut or put out one of my eyes with its damned weapons, right?

"I've got a couple holes too many already," I reminded him sourly, jabbing my thumb at my arm, where the tiny spines were still embedded. I'd meant to yank the things out, but hadn't had time—and wasn't looking forward to it, anyhow.

He grunted in response. "Throw me a spyurt."

Oh, hell, he wasn't about to outdo me—not with that attitude of his. Still, if it meant the difference between me getting impaled and Roxas getting impaled, it was hard to say no. I yanked one of the stars out and threw it to him, watching him fumble a little with his blood-slick hands. This job was getting way too disgusting way too fast, I reflected grimly.

"Distract it," he called to me, and I figured it was the least I could do. I ran back and forth in front of the thing, occasionally coming in close for a jab. Roxas approached soundlessly from behind, his blue eyes gleaming with a predator's concentration. It was too busy shooting its damned spines at me to really notice, and when he seized it by the head, it was already too late. The spyurt went straight into the hole at the top of its head, where the blood came out, and Roxas held a hand over it as the star exploded with a muted bang. As promised, it did nothing to him, but blew the little Heartless's head and part of its upper body to pieces. It dropped to the ground, blood flowing off of it until I could see the little raised areas where the spines came from. It seemed like it shot the larger ones from spots on its hands, and the smaller ones were on what remained of its chest.

"Nice work," Axel said as he and Riku rejoined us. They'd been lounging on a park bench not far away, I realized, since their kit was still over there. Riku looked like he wanted to give me a congratulatory clap on the shoulder, but quickly rethought it when he evaluated the amount of blood I was drenched in. Since it was drying on me all crusty, the way blood does, I finally decided that it simply couldn't be anything else, and that put me on edge. Did it bleed like that just to be unsettling, or was there a reason for it? It could just have easily been any other dark, thick liquid. Oil or mud or paint would've been fine—even milk probably would've worked. So why something as dark and violent as blood?

"Get any of those stickers in you?" Axel wanted to know.

"A couple," I told him, holding up my left arm.

I've never seen a pair of faces turn from pride to horror so fast.

"Oh, you stupid, stupid little…_stupid_!" Axel spluttered, his more colorful adjectives failing him as Riku bolted for their kit. The Phoenix shoved me to the ground, his hand going for the spines.

Oh god. _Pain_.

I didn't even realize I was screaming until he let go and rapped me smartly in the forehead with his knuckles. "You little moron," he breathed in a panic. "You've let them grow roots! Oh, dammit…"

"How bad?" came Riku's voice as he dashed up and slid to the ground beside me.

"They're in pretty deep," Axel told him, shaking his head. He shot my best friend a dark look then. "Why, you want me to burn them off?"

"Don't be stupid," Riku snapped, pulling some of the clear diamonds out of the kit.

I couldn't help but whimper faintly. Diamonds meant healing. Healing meant improv surgery.

"We could open up his arm," Axel was saying. "That way we won't rip out anything he needs. You got a knife?"

"No, but it's only been a few minutes. They won't have grown that deep by then, and even if we yank something out of whack, the healing agents will set it right again," Riku decided, the both of them speaking and moving fast. "Besides, we open it up and we'll have to circumvent some arteries, which will take time, and worry about blood loss and infection."

"Right you are. Hold still, Sora."

Oh, _shit_.

Riku rummaged in the kit and got out a little sort of blue thing, kind of like Styrofoam but harder and not as starchy. "Bite," he ordered, and I bit down on it without hesitation.

There were three spines buried in my arm, and as Axel grabbed the first, I could already feel my nerves tingling with the dreadful anticipation of pain. "That's good," he murmured. "Just touching it doesn't hurt him. Demyx had them in so far one time that he couldn't even move without it hurting, and so much as a light breeze would set him off."

I think what Axel was trying to do was get me to concentrate on the story instead, since he kept talking as he yanked on it sharply, but my screams sort of drowned that part out. The pain was just too intense to be ignored, and I dearly wished I'd had the presence of mind to yank the things out the moment they stuck me. The way Axel's muscles were trembling, his left hand clamping down hard on my arm, I could tell he was pulling with all his strength. It was barely enough—I could feel it coming out at a snail's pace as it tore its way through the inch or so that might as well have been a mile.

I fell limply back onto the ground when it was out, feeling like I'd just run a marathon (and gotten stabbed in the arm with a soldering iron in the process), and I could hear Axel breathing hard as well. And that was just the _first_ one. I let out a shaky moan when I remembered that there were two others, and took a frightened look at my arm. I'd expected to see the skin split open like a volcano, with tears running up and down my whole arm, but there was only a small bead of blood welling up from the spot where it had entered.

When I looked at the spine in Axel's hand, though, I realized why it had hurt so much. The inch or so that had gone in was now a spiderweb of tiny roots, making up a width of about half an inch, and all of that had come out of that first tiny hole. We were forcing camels through needles' eyes here, and I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my head hard against the dirt as Axel recovered and reached for the next one.

That was difficult to endure. It was right next to the area where the first one had been, so it hurt even more that time, and I knew the next would hurt more than that. Once the second one was out, Axel sat wringing his arm out and grunting with exhaustion as I breathed in short, quick gasps that were moments from becoming sobs. Riku was sitting right next to me the whole time, stroking my forehead and trying to sound comforting. I spat out the Styrofoam crap, which was beginning to taste a little like blood, but that could've been my imagination. "I can't do this, Riku," I told him, hearing my voice crack and stemming the flow of emotion that came with it. "I-I can't," I managed, my teeth clicking together right before my voice got to the point where only dogs could hear it.

"One more," he promised, brushing my bangs back out of my eyes as I shook my head. "Just one more, Sora. We're almost there."

"You wanna take over?" Axel asked him, rubbing his shoulder and hissing in pain. I knew Riku didn't, and I didn't want him to either—I didn't think Riku was as strong as Axel, and that might make it take longer. Even so, with Axel weaker, that could take even longer, and I didn't have much time before I started sounding really pathetic.

"You'll be too gentle on him," Roxas said to Riku then, bending beside me and motioning to Axel to vacate the spot. "It'll be over in just a minute, Sora, just hold out for me that long, okay?"

It occurred to me in the back of my mind that Roxas was being not only civil, but compassionate as well. But I was a little too focused on that damned spine to care about much else. "No," I said faintly, and then again louder, beginning to struggle a little for the first time. "No more! Th-that's enough!"

"Stop it," Riku commanded, seizing my face in both hands and making me look up at him upside down. "Just look at me, Sora. Look at my eyes. You've got to get through this."

It hurt him to watch me when Roxas pulled that thing out. I could tell it did, but he only showed it in his eyes, and tried his hardest to keep them impassive—not to be standoffish, but to give me something dependable to try to calm me down. I was getting a little hysterical towards the end there.

It was out now, though, and I relaxed finally, wheezing and sniffling a little. "That," Axel said matter-of-factly as he dabbed at my arm, "will teach you not to leave those sonofabitches _in_."

I made a little hurt sound, stiffening and wincing away from his touch, and felt a funny sensation come over my forehead as Riku slipped in some of the diamonds. They made me feel kind of warm and lazy all over, and pretty soon the pain was a memory. But it was far from a distant one.

"Hay, Rrriku," I slurred in the throes of the healing agent's sedating effects.

"Mm?"

"Thah…that stoopuhd…vackseen…kengo fuck isself."

He laughed at that, and I felt better all of a sudden.

* * *

We went and got cleaned up—Axel had these little orange tablets that helped somehow, I'm not really sure what they did—and spent the rest of the day piddling around in the park, looking for Heartless. I wanted the disaster to happen to somebody else, for a change. What with the infestation (twice, now that I think of it) and the spines, I'd taken a lot more abuse than the other three of late, and felt it was high time for the Heartless to show me some leniency and at least go after them instead. That's what I said, anyway, but to tell the truth, I'd had enough excitement in two days to last me another four or five weeks, so I was more than a little relieved when we turned up nothing and split up to go home.

"We may still run into a couple," Riku told me. We were keeping the kits for that reason, since Axel and Roxas were headed back to Nada Apex where they had a supply room for that kind of stuff.

"Gubberdy," I grunted conversationally.

He reached over and ruffled my hair playfully. "I'm in full agreement. Let's go home and collapse."

"Muh."

I look back on it now and regret. Because we were close. We were _so close_. I could smell the sea, and I could even see our little boats bumping one another by the pier. If I squinted, I probably could've made out our oars, too. But all that was to change in the next couple of seconds.

The stranger was harmless. I mean, he wasn't doing anything at all—just looked a little strange. By our standards, he wasn't even a one on the strange scale. But Riku, through some feral instinct Riku possesses, sensed danger and threw us both behind a rock. "What's he doing here?" he whispered conspiratorially as we both peeked over at the guy. "I've never seen him before."

"Neither have I, but I'm not gonna lose sleep over it." I grumbled. I gave it about a minute of watching the weirdo, waiting for him to do something interesting, and quickly decided he didn't pose a threat. "Now, Riku," I began in a scholarly tone, "I'm no expert on standing, but it sorta looks to me like he's just, you know, standing. It's like walking, only you don't walk. You know?" He shot me a dark look, but I didn't care. "I say we go home."

"No, there's something funny here…"

If I'd been more experienced, or even less exhausted, I probably would've agreed with him and let the whole "go home and get some rest after getting stabbed with three needles from hell" thing go. But, Riku, for god's sake, it was just a _dude_. His hair was silver, with maybe a tint of purple (but it's not like Riku had room to talk there), and his skin was pretty dark, but I didn't see anything about him that warranted Riku's sudden Mission Impossible approach. I shot my best friend an impatient look. "_Boats_."

"Not yet."

"_Please_."

"_No_."

I groaned and let my forehead drop onto the rock, which was a mistake, because it hurt. But I was too stubborn to let Riku know that, so I just kind of sat there and thought about making a run for it anyway. I had a sudden image of Riku giving chase and dragging me right back to this rock, at which point our subject would've noticed us, but Riku wouldn't count this as significant, and so we'd just sort of stare at one another in utter bemusement for hours.

I heard Riku's quick intake of breath and looked up. He was staring intently at the stranger now, so I followed his gaze and realized that the silver-haired stranger was holding a clear box of those little blue worm-things that Lea had warned me about at the Service. Okay, I admitted begrudgingly, Riku was onto something. But the guy was probably part of another team just like us, and just happened to off by his lonesome, an—CRAP!

I'm not sure now if that's how I really reacted, but I probably thought something pretty close to that when the guy suddenly opened the box and hurled—not chucked, _hurled_, like he wanted to kill us just with the impact—its contents at us.

If we were Olympic champions we couldn't have gotten up fast enough to avoid those things. My first thought was that they were tools for a mercy killing, since Lea had said that I should hope I'd never have to use the things, and a mercy killing is one thing I actively hope against. I didn't really know how the things worked, but I knew most things from Zenith gained entrance through foreheads, so I clapped a hand to mine as we lurched up and towards the boats. I voiced this idea to Riku, but he either didn't hear me or knew it didn't matter. I figured that part out a minute later when my foot flew out from under me. The worms were burrowing into my skin, much, I thought in horror, as the Heartless bugs from before probably had. Everywhere they touched they spread a hateful cold that not only numbed but paralyzed.

Riku got a little farther and then collapsed too, but he was out of it by that time. I started to crawl towards him on shaky limbs, but the worms were all around me, and it wasn't long before I couldn't move. It was all I could do to stay awake.

"That was cute of you," came a deep voice as the man's boots swished through the sand towards us. "Though a run for it may have been more prudent. I assume you're both Servicemen?" He chuckled to himself. "You're out of your league, boys."

I didn't hear anything after that, because my arms collapsed under me. It felt like I was being swallowed alive by something dark and cold, and it scared me to realize that the sensation was eerily familiar.

It felt like I'd been asleep for months by the time I finally woke up, but it could only have been a couple of hours. The thing that made it seem so long was probably the nightmares. As I learned later, those worms could knock a guy out in a matter of seconds, but it had some pretty devastating side effects. One was the nightmares. I still run into one or two of them from time to time; I usually forget they were ever there, and they periodically scare me back into remembering. The best ones involve falling. The worst don't have to.

The other side effects are the mania and memory loss. Fortunately, both are temporary, but I had to sit over in a corner and kind of think through my life for a couple hours before I was back in working condition. I don't even remember what happened before that, but Riku and I both had a couple of scratches and bruises we couldn't explain. In retrospect, it's probably a good thing we had one another to rough up, or we might've started on ourselves and done a lot worse.

"You okay?" I asked him, my voice unusually low and scratchy. It was the first thing either of us had said in the three hours we'd been awake. He nodded, still pale and shaky, and I knew I didn't look much better. Still, we'd made a lot of progress from when we'd first regained full consciousness.

"Where the hell are we?" I wanted to know. Riku looked like he wanted to respond to that, but he still needed some more time to recover before he got as lucid as I was.

After about another twenty minutes, he croaked, "In a cell."

Yeah, Riku, I can see that, I wanted to say, but it wouldn't have done any good. All the joking and fun at the movies, not even a day ago, seemed as distant as the moon. So instead, I concentrated on getting into a standing position, and tried to walk.

It was like I'd forgotten how. I leaned heavily on the wall and did a staggering lap around the tiny cell, trying to get back the natural rhythm. That guy at the Service said I rolled my hips—well, dammit, I rolled those hips for all I was worth, but I would've fallen over without that wall. I finally sat down, breathing hard and no better than before. "What did…what did those things do to us?" I gasped at Riku, who shook his head numbly.

It got cold. It got cold, and it got dark. I hadn't noticed it during the daylight, but there was a thin sliver of light coming in from the top of our cell. It was the only thing that kept us out of total darkness for those lonely first hours, and the moon took over when night fell. That didn't help much, though, and I hoped we weren't going to be in here too long. I'd read about those fish who lived in caves so long, they didn't even need their eyes anymore. Eventually, it got to a point where their eyes just went away. When I'd asked Riku, he said they just fell out. But Riku _would_ say something like that.

…Still. I'm very fond of my eyes.

We both curled up on the floor, still a little scared to get near each other after those little injuries, and each tried to warm up his own patch. But somehow the cold metal underneath never really seemed to warm up.

I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic because I felt arms around me. Then I realized it was Riku, and stiffened a little. Could we trust each other from this close? "Stupid little stupid," he murmured lightly, kissing my forehead, and that was that.

He'd never done that before, though, I thought blearily as we drifted off. The first time Riku ever kissed me had been the last, and that was a smack on the cheek from a dare in kindergarten. Something seemed off about it happening now, especially in such close proximity, but I was too tired to figure it out. If Riku feels like kissing me, I thought as I yawned widely, that's his business.

* * *

Author's Note: Ehhhh, I feel like I'm being too cavalier about this whole "imprisoned and left to die" thing. But maybe I can argue that's Sora trying to make it better in memory than it was in reality. Or something. You know.

Anyway. We've met the goodies, so it's about time we met the baddie, and thus I'm introducing him into the mix. Let's hope we don't have a casualty along the way… :3


	7. Whirlwind

I'm not sure how long we were supposed to subsist in that cold little metal cell. Our captor never dropped by, and I never saw any food or water shoved our way. There wasn't any kind of a toilet, either, so uh…it got a little…"fragrant," shall we say. Maybe we were just supposed to die in there, I dunno. I did know that our kits had been taken away, and I thought that was a sick and unnecessary thing to do. For a while, I thought the bastard intended to send some Heartless in to finish us off—but can one "send" Heartless? I hadn't heard about a Heartless ruler or anything of the sort. I asked Riku about it, but that was around the time the delirium hit, and it got to him first.

Anyway, one day when I simply could not get any colder, thirstier, or hungrier, one of those dark portal things opened up on the wall. I was ready to kiss whoever came out of it just for being another human being. Fortunately enough, I didn't have the strength or the willpower to stand, because I don't think our savior would have appreciated that. He looked a lot like our captor, I remember thinking, but his hair was different—not that it meant much in all that darkness. Once he'd taken in the situation (me on the floor staring up at him like he was an alien, Riku curled up in a corner twitching in the throes of nightmares, our, um…"toilet"), he'd said, "You two had better come with me if you want to live."

I let out a few anemic little laughs. "Thazza line from a movie!" I informed him joyously, and keeled over in a dead faint. I don't think he ever thought I was completely sane after that.

* * *

Our rescuer's name was Xemnas, as we learned once we came out of our delirium and took in Nada Apex around us. The worms in us had never really settled down, and it took Axel and the others' constant care to keep us from losing our minds entirely. It was in recovery that I managed to convince myself that Riku had never actually kissed me. That was either his delirium or mine at work, and it didn't mean anything, so I could go ahead and let it go. That's when I realized I was practically obsessing over it, and I couldn't figure out why that was. I dropped the whole disconcerting matter and tried to focus on improving.

"So where's Xemnas?" I asked Axel when he came in with breakfast a few mornings after we were feeling reasonably better.

"Xemnas?" he repeated, as if he couldn't fathom why I asked. "His note said he was going back to the chicken festival, but nobody got to talk to him. Why?"

I sighed, a little vexed. "Because I wanted to thank him for saving us," I told him. It bothered me not to be able to thank someone who'd gone out of their way for me—especially in a position like this, where it was just plain required.

Axel didn't seem to think so. "It probably wouldn't mean a whole lot," he said, shrugging. "Xemnas just does that from time to time. That bastard Ansem has a nasty habit of imprisoning Servicemen like ourselves when he runs across them, and we all combat it when we can. It'd be faster just to kill the guy off," he added with a sudden ferocity, "but he's too powerful right now, and we can't afford to anyway."

"I wish we'd had the kits," I said then. "We could've sent out a flare…"

"Ansem used to be a Serviceman," Axel confided with a dark look. "He'd know that. That's why he took the kits—that and the healing agents."

"So…" I hesitated. "Why did he want to kill us? If that's what he was trying to do."

"I think it was," Axel mused, scratching his chin, "but with that loon, you never know. He's one of those people on the other side of the war," he said then, his eyes darkening. "The Heartless are pure chaos, so they're trying to 'purify' the ordered chaos here using them. That probably wouldn't be so bad, but they also want to do it to your world, and that's why they've been letting the Heartless out of Zenith."

He'd gotten much quieter and looked like he was about to start a brooding session, so I decided to change the subject. Before I could, though, the door opened and Xigbar swaggered in, Demyx close at his heels. I was starting to notice that Demyx seemed to follow after the Cyborg like a lost puppy, and treated him a lot like a mentor or role model.

"So Zexion's sent a line out to Xemnas," Xigbar said, as if he was continuing a conversation. He flopped down on a chair by the table, with Demyx taking a seat beside him. "And we're probably gonna have to start rooting around for people."

Axel shot him a suspicious look. "Are you still on about that?"

"I'm not on about anything," Xigbar told him defensively. "But the Exchange is coming up on the low end, and Nada Apex is gonna look really foolish if we don't report en masse."

"What did Saix say about it?"

"Saix agrees." From the way Xigbar muttered it grudgingly, I got the impression that he was leaving out a long argument beforehand.

"Fine, then," Axel groaned, passing a hand over his eyes.

Something occurred to me then. "You're gonna gather up everyone?" I asked them. "Those—those people you were talking about? Thirteen, right?"

"Yeah, why?" Xigbar asked gruffly, obviously tired of defending his position.

"Do you need all of them?"

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Er…yeah. We do, in fact."

I bit my lip then. "What…what're you gonna do about Xurik?"

All three of them just stared at me for a second, and then exchanged glances. "Kid's got a point," Xigbar said. "What _are_ we gonna do? We can't even sign up without the registered amount, and they'll take too long to put us down for twelve."

"Could we get Riku to do it?" Axel mused, frowning. "I mean, that's as close to Xurik as we can get."

"We'll have to check the rules," Demyx spoke up then. "I think the person has to be from Zenith, but I could be wrong."

"Either way, Riku'd have trouble with it," Xigbar said. "Our portion of the Exchange is gonna involve a lot of our world's kind of thinking, and from what you're telling me, these two haven't exactly adjusted. We can't afford to have someone who gets confused every time the rule of mess comes into play."

"It's high time he learned," Axel pointed out. "It's starting to look like they'll be spending a lot more time here, so they'll need to pick up the basics anyway."

"We'll need more than basics," Xigbar muttered.

Demyx, who had been scratching his cheek thoughtfully, looked at Axel then. "What about Roxas?"

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about him! Roxas could work, easy," Xigbar said. He grinned at Demyx, and the blond dropped his eyes bashfully at Xigbar's approval.

"Roxas could, but Roxas won't," Axel said fiercely, his expression dark.

"Sure sure, it was just an idea," Demyx replied hastily, shrinking back as if to hide behind Xigbar.

Xigbar rolled his eyes. "Getting overly protective as usual, I see. You keep this up and you're gonna drive him off like that blue-haired girl."

"Aqua came very close to losing her leg, if you remember," Axel told him coldly. "And it was sort of your fault at the time."

"I paid for that one already," the Cyborg reminded him, tapping the cheek under his cybernetic eye. "Stop collecting interest. My point is, we've got to have somebody, and if that rule about Zenith applies, Roxas is really the only logical choice."

"He's only a boy!" Axel exploded suddenly, his eyes burning.

"So was Xurik."

"And how did Xurik end up? The Exchange is more dangerous than anything we'll encounter in the field, and we've already got that goddamned Ansem to deal with! If you add the war on top of that, we're gonna be lucky if we don't have a lot more casualties!"

"So what are you saying? Don't go to the Exchange?" Xigbar snorted. "The consequences for that are a lot worse." He rose then, shooting Axel a look that shut him up even as the Phoenix opened his mouth to argue. "We'll check the rules. If they have to be from Zenith, Roxas is going, and there's nothing you can do about it. But if they don't, you better train Riku the hell up to par, and we'll see if he can go by the time it rolls around."

He left with Demyx trailing behind him, Axel glaring after them. The Phoenix let out a despairing sigh when the door closed, and ran his hands through his hair anxiously.

I was a little surprised he hadn't consulted me about Riku. I mean, it's not like I was his mom, but I wanted to have a say in it if the Exchange was as dangerous as Axel made it sound. It gave me a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach to think about something happening to Riku, and the memory of that night on the beach leapt to my mind unbidden.

"Sorry," Axel said suddenly, jerking me out of my reverie. "It's selfish of me. Roxas is going. Roxas _has_ to go. I'd never have time to train Riku, and even if I did, he'd be a weak link. There's just no alternative, but I…I didn't…Apexes've lost people before," he finished in a hushed voice.

I felt a wave of pity for him. He'd been fighting for a lost cause, and he'd known it the whole time. That almost seemed to fit him somehow, I thought dimly. "It's okay. I would've done the same thing for Riku," I told him, because I knew I would. I was scared for Roxas and for Axel both—but given the choice, I'd pick Riku every time.

That seemed to amuse Axel, though, and he chuckled faintly. "Figures," he said simply, giving me a profoundly unsettling look.

"Not like that," I snapped.

"Like what?" he asked innocently, rising. "You're the one who jumped to conclusions, not me." He reached over to check my forehead. "One or two more days," he estimated. "Oh—and I've already had a note sent to both your parents. You've been on a business trip for the past five days."

"A _what_?" I asked him, stupefied.

"A business trip," he repeated, blinking. "Don't you people take those from time to time?"

I groaned. "Not with part time jobs. Where did you say we went?"

"Madagascar."

I wasn't sure how to take that. "Madagascar," I repeated slowly. "Did they believe you?"

"Your lady friend didn't," he huffed, frowning suddenly. "Didn't take to my hair much, either. Do I really look like something exploded in my face?"

I beat back a smile at that. That would be Kairi. She got protective when she thought we were in a bad situation, and had once verbally decimated a vindictive ex-girlfriend of mine in front of the entire school. I still hadn't gotten around to thanking her for that. "What did she say?"

"She said that if you weren't back by the end of the week she would find out where I live."

It didn't sound like much of a threat, but the moment I heard it I desperately wanted to make sure Kairi never found out how to get to Zenith. To give you an indication.

"Anyway, you'd better rest up," Axel continued. "If your news is any indication, we're starting to get some trouble from those patients Dr. Strauss was treating. The Service sent out a couple divisions in that direction, but we're gonna have to pick up the slack pretty soon."

"Anybody I know?" I asked, and then realized it was a silly question. Axel had no way of knowing who I knew or didn't know, and he told me so. Then he went to check up on Riku, and I tried to stem my growing impatience with this whole Zenith thing.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to discover I was inside a strawberry. That shit is impossible to describe. To top it off, my first thought was, _Today must be Wednesday_.

* * *

Xemnas was coming, as Demyx informed me at breakfast, where everyone still smelled of fruit and a couple were spotted with red here and there. "He said he had to wrap up some things at the chicken festival, but he wants to get together for the Exchange."

"Just what _is_ the chicken festival?" Riku wanted to know. His hair was a lovely pink color from this morning, and I'd been ribbing him about it mercilessly.

This for some reason made the others stop moving for a moment, and they exchanged squeamish glances. "Not at the table," Saix said impassively without bothering to look up from his food. I shot Riku a mystified glance, and he shrugged.

Xemnas arrived later that day, and since Riku and I had been deemed fully recovered, we didn't have to be bedridden for it. He was the only one of the group who didn't seem to have any obviously strange characteristics. Axel had his coat of fur, Demyx had tails, Roxas had horns, Xigbar was indisputably a Cyborg, Zexion had that shadow thing going on (Demyx said he was a Lampade), and Saix always looked like he was made of porcelain, but Xemnas didn't seem to have anything like that. Maybe that made him even stranger than they were, in a way.

He was clad in a black shroud, looking very solemn, and radiated authority for about three miles in every direction. Everyone seemed to snap to attention and congregate in the dining room before we even realized he was there, and the others all nodded in acknowledgment when he entered. Somehow it seemed like a full-fledged genuflection.

"Long time no see," Axel said in a mocking tone, but even he sounded oddly subdued.

"The pleasure is mine," Xemnas replied. "It's good to know we at least have five of the original…" His deep voice sounded very natural, even though they were stiff, formal words, and it seemed like there was a deeper understanding of things behind his eyes. He also didn't look like the type to astonish easily, so when he trailed off and those eyes suddenly widened and focused on one thing, I thought something was horribly wrong.

I wasn't alone in that. We all quickly traced his gaze to Saix, who had been adamantly facing away from us before Xemnas even came in. It was to hide his scar, I realized, but he'd gotten Xemnas's attention anyhow. "Saix," he said once, gently but firmly. I knew the next words were going to be, "Look at me," but Xemnas didn't say them. He didn't have to, as only moments later, the Doppleganger turned to face him.

If Xemnas was surprised by the sight of the scar, he hid it well. It was almost as if seeing it confirmed something he'd already suspected, and his eyes hardened with anger. "Those monsters," he said quietly, but he didn't pursue it.

Instead, he took a seat at the head of the table. Axel had been sitting there earlier, but had somehow managed to vacate it before I even realized it. "So, how's, um…how's the festival going?" Demyx asked hesitantly.

Xemnas's expression turned weary for a fraction of a second, and he passed a hand over his eyes. "Brutal," he replied. "And merciless, as usual. A pair of Phoenixes tried to duck out during the final round. They were disciplined."

He didn't have to go into detail, as people around the table shifted uncomfortably, and Axel hissed sharply, as if in pain. "Tell me they didn't," he murmured, drawing his arms in. It seemed like he was trying to protect his coat of fur.

"We all know they did," Xigbar grunted indifferently. "Why the hell do you bother with that shit, Xemnas?"

"If I didn't, they wouldn't hesitate to confiscate the Apex—as well as our distinctions, if they saw fit," Xemnas pointed out stiffly, and people around the table recoiled reflexively. "Anyway, we have more pressing matters to attend to."

Axel jerked to attention then. "Oh, right—Xemnas, these are Sora and Riku," he said, indicating us.

Xemnas nodded patiently. "We've met."

"Thanks for saving us," I blurted out. I'd meant to make it sound a little more eloquent—Xemnas's disposition seemed to demand eloquence—but it didn't really happen that way, and I dropped my eyes in embarrassment. "We, um…really appreciate it." _Well, duh._

"You're welcome," he said simply, but still managed to make it sound meaningful. "I must apologize for the actions of my other. He lacks our insight, and tends to express himself more violently."

That was an understatement—but I only noticed that in passing, too busy trying to comprehend what Xemnas had just said. His other? Ansem? Well, there was certainly a similarity in name that I'd overlooked—but the two dispositions seemed dramatically opposite. I only foggily remembered Ansem, but he'd radiated a sense of impulse and cruelty, and Xemnas seemed much more thoughtful and deliberate.

The others had shifted a little nervously when Xemnas said that, though, and I suddenly realized why they couldn't destroy Ansem. If they did, and Xemnas got an infestation, there'd be no way to save him. Even so, with the two of them at opposite ends of the struggle, it seemed like it would be impossible either way.

"I trust you've taken the time to track down our missing compatriots," the Superior said to Xigbar then. It wasn't a question.

"Of course, of course," the Cyborg replied, waving a hand dismissively. "All except Marluxia, but you know him. He's probably taken up residence in a jungle somewhere."

"The only one beyond our reach is Xurik," Saix told him then. It was the first time he'd spoken since Xemnas had come in.

The Superior gave him a blank look at first, but then looked away, his expression pained. "…Ah. Xurik." He sighed. "That is regrettable. Do we have a replacement for the Exchange?"

Xigbar looked at Axel.

"Yeah," the Phoenix told him in a subdued voice. "Yeah, we…I ran into Roxas here a little over a week ago, and…"

Xemnas nodded. "I see. But we are still six short." He hesitated then, and his eyes wandered to me. "Axel will bring the others here."

"What?" the redhead exploded then. "_Me_? For one thing, I've got a backlog of about a million and a half Heartless to take care of, and for another, how the hell am I supposed to convince Larxene? She _hates_ me! And Vexen and the others don't much disagree! I've already given y—!" He stopped short, glancing at Roxas.

"You'll be taking Sora with you," Xemnas told him simply. "That should do the convincing for you."

The tone in his voice was sharp, obviously to curb Axel's temper, but it didn't do much good. "Are you _nuts_? Larxene'd bake him alive, and they're not exactly in the safest places. Not to mention Lexaeus is still in service, and I'm not about to drag the kid out onto the battlefield!"

I swallowed hard. The battlefield didn't scare me as much as the prospect of going there. As I remembered, we'd have to take the train to pineapple, and even Axel had been wary of that one.

Somehow it didn't occur to me until just then that I wasn't objecting. I was already wondering about what these people would be like and where we'd have to go, without first thinking about whether I even agreed. Xemnas had said it, and now it was going to happen. That was the end of it.

Axel was beginning to realize that now, as Xemnas turned a level gaze on him. "I will have Saix and Xigbar speak with Lexaeus, but the rest are on your shoulders."

"Why _me_, though? It's not like we don't have plenty of people," Axel protested, but he was losing ground and it was beginning to sound more like pleading. "You could at least send a few of us."

"I have allotted tasks for the rest of us," Xemnas told him, his voice growing steely now. "In case it has escaped your attention, there is a war going on, and we will be requiring both Demyx and Xigbar's technical experience, Saix's gift for eavesdropping, and Zexion's penchant for research. Riku and Roxas will be our link to the Service. That leaves you and Sora to gather up the missing members."

Axel probably would have pursued the matter if he hadn't lost interest in it just then, his expression surprised. I noticed Xigbar and Demyx had perked up, and Saix and Zexion both looked more intent than usual. "Are we…going to go back on the offensive?" Axel asked in a hushed tone.

"As long as we have to reconvene for the Exchange, I don't see why we shouldn't."

A murmur went through the others, and Xemnas rose. "I expect you to be ready to leave by tomorrow," he said to Axel and me. "We have work to do. Our first order of business is to restore contact with the other Apexes."

The others were up and moving now, and I started for the guest room where I had been staying. Riku caught up with me. "Stay with me a minute," he said quietly, ducking behind the stairwell. "I want to talk with Xemnas, but I'm not sure if I can do it alone."

I didn't really want to stick around—I had stuff to pack, and I wasn't sure how long we'd be gone, so I wanted to write out something to…to Mom, that is. But I hung back, and we waited for the room to empty.

But as Saix went to leave, Xemnas's head snapped up. The Doppleganger froze, as if Xemnas's gaze were enough to hold him in place, and the two of them waited for the vestiges—Xigbar and a sullen Axel—to disappear upstairs. When they were gone, Xemnas approached carefully, as if Saix were a terrified bird and he didn't want to scare him away. "What have they done to you," he murmured despairingly.

"It's nothing, Superior."

Xemnas only watched him for a moment, stopping and absently placing a hand on the back of one of the chairs. "That's a lie," he said quietly. "Why did they do it?"

It wasn't the first time he had asked a question, but somehow it sounded like it, and Saix looked up in surprise. There was a whisper of raw pain in Xemnas's voice, and I don't think he was used to hearing that.

But he recovered quickly and glared at a corner. "Said they wanted a target," he snarled. "Something to aim for if I ever got put on the battlefield again." He suddenly let out a faint grunt of pain and put a hand to the scar, as if he felt it opening up again.

Xemnas took an unconscious step forward. "Now is not the time," he said sharply, his voice urgent.

Saix nodded, taking several deep breaths to calm himself down. He didn't say anything for several moments, still regaining his composure, and then he gave Xemnas a pained, mournful look. Riku and I both looked away sharply—that look seemed so naked and hurt, coming from a man who almost never showed emotion. "They made me useless, Xemnas," he said.

I looked up in time to see Xemnas's eyes flash at that. He took a swift step forward, catching Saix's chin in one hand and forcing the Doppleganger to look into his eyes. "You," he said in a powerful voice, "are _not_ useless."

Saix's lips parted, and I could hear the tears in his voice when he whispered, "Superior."

Xemnas released him and Saix looked down in sudden embarrassment, as well as to hide the fact that he was closing his eyes against the tears. The Superior put a hand on his head then, a simple, fatherly gesture, and murmured a few things to him that Riku and I couldn't make out. Saix nodded once or twice, and then Xemnas ordered him upstairs. He watched the doorway through which Saix had disappeared for a moment after he was gone.

I exchanged glances with Riku in surprise and consternation. We shouldn't have seen that and we both knew it, but there was no way to unsee it. What's more, we couldn't even talk to Xemnas now, and if we started up the stairs, he'd see us.

As it turned out, we needn't have bothered worrying. "You wanted to speak with me?" Xemnas asked simply, and we both turned to see that he was heading back towards the table, beckoning behind him at us. I looked at Riku, but he was already moving, so I fell into step beside him.

We got to the table, and Xemnas motioned for us to take a seat. He sat facing us, his arms resting on the table before him. It was imposing to be alone with him like that, and I could only imagine what Riku was going through right then. I glanced at him, but Xemnas was looking at him too, and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

"Um," he began quietly. "This…this is gonna sound really stupid, but…about Xurik, I-I…"

Xemnas nodded patiently, and I had the eerie feeling that he had already known Xurik would be the subject.

"I just…it had to be me," Riku said suddenly. "He asked me to and I did, and that was supposed to be the end of it, but…it had to be me that killed him, and…it was like…"

"Like killing a brother," Xemnas said gently.

"Yeah. And…and I guess I just want to know if I did the right thing," Riku finished, deflating a little.

Xemnas had dropped his eyes to the table, and now he steepled his fingers, inclining his head with a deep sigh. "Riku, I can't tell you anything you haven't already heard. I know that you think hearing it from me will make it hurt less, but in all honesty, it won't." He looked up to see how Riku was taking this, and I could see the sympathy in his eyes. "Even so, it was the right thing. It was _absolutely_ the right thing. You didn't kill Xurik, because he was already dead by the time you took action. What you killed was a husk—a puppet—that would only have come back to hurt you if you had allowed it to live. There simply was no alternative."

Riku had gotten very quiet, and he seemed to be watching his hands, where he was tugging absently at the yellow band around his wrist. I could see the glimmer of his eyes between the gaps in the curtain of his hair, but they were lost and faraway.

"This isn't helping, is it?" Xemnas asked, baldly honest. Riku shook his head numbly. The Superior suddenly reached forward and placed a hand over one of Riku's, and Riku looked up at him in surprise. "This is something you will have to come to grips with on your own. You'll have to realize that there was nothing you could have done, Riku. Forgive yourself, not for killing Xurik, but for not being able to save him."

Riku's eyes dropped from Xemnas's and I saw his body tighten up with the onset of tears. "Thank you," he got out quickly.

The Superior nodded and sat back, and I knew we were dismissed. Riku rose quickly, obviously trying to race his emotions to the guest room. I started to follow, but suddenly felt a prickle and realized Xemnas was watching me. He wanted me to stay, and I'm not sure how I knew that, but I couldn't have moved if I wanted to. "Give him a moment," he said quietly. "Killing one's other is no small task, and quite possibly the greatest sacrifice he could have made. A part of him died, too."

"But I thought you said he didn't kill Xurik," I reminded him, glancing up once to make sure Riku wasn't waiting up for me.

"He didn't. I don't think he could have, if it was truly Xurik at the time. But he thinks he did, and there's little use convincing him otherwise," Xemnas explained wearily. "And now for your question."

I hadn't realized I had a question until exactly that moment. "Why are you sending me along with Axel? I mean," I added hastily, "it's not that I don't want to go, but I wondered what made you pick me."

He studied me for a moment, and there was something deeply sad about his expression. "Then I am truly alone," he murmured. He got up, pressing his hands against the table as he did, and began to pace. "I have done extensive research, and it has led me to this conclusion. In this reality we have lives, Sora, and lives after those, and lives after those. But the first life is important. The first life affects each and every one after it, and often makes connections between things and people that persist during each new life." He stopped at the window, placing a hand against the sill absently. "I remember my first life," he said quietly. "And I've done my best to track down each and every person I recognized from that life, in case they remembered as well. I thought that, if there was anyone else in this reality who did, it would be you," he finished, turning to look at me.

I was a little embarrassed. It wasn't that I didn't believe him—he said it with too much conviction—but I didn't remember anything like that. It seemed like it'd be rude to say so, though; like meeting an old friend and having no idea who they are. "I…can't say I know what you're talking about," I said finally. It sounded really awkward, but it was the best thing I could come up with at the time.

"I thought not." But Xemnas's eyes were speculative. Then he said, in an almost offhand tone, "Kingdom Hearts."

Hostility. Pure, unadulterated hostility and hatred hit me like a whip, and for a brief moment I was afraid I'd attack him then and there. But it passed, dulled by the confusion as to what in god's name he meant by that.

"It's just as well."

I looked up, realizing then that I had been glaring to kill at the floor—probably to keep from glaring at him. He was looking out the window again, his voice faraway. "If I ever found you again, I was hoping that you and I could, for once, talk things out civilly. But that obviously wouldn't be a possibility if you remembered. The connections are too strong." Xemnas turned again and started for the stairs. "You will go with Axel because the others will only cooperate again if you are involved. It's their nature. Neither Riku nor even Roxas would have quite the same effect. So go ahead and pack, and we'll see you off in the morning."

I watched him go, not sure if I had gotten the answer to my question or not.

* * *

Author's Note: I can't help feeling like the Ansem thing was a waste of time, despite what Riku says, but hey, we met the villain. Sorta. And the story has finally revealed to me its central conflict, which is great, because that simplifies things. Not to mention I got to play with Xemnas, and I LOVE playing with Xemnas, because it's easy to make him distinguished. He turned out differently than I imagined, though—he's much more Dumblydorian and much less clairvoyant—but, eh. I mess with him and I have every reason to expect a chakram to the face, now that Axel's holding the plot for ransom or some crap.

Ah, well. Feedback on the characters would be glorious, as I feel like some of them are being too cliché (-cough-DEMYX-cough-), and it's really all about the characters. Plot is secondary.


	8. Story Time

I headed for Axel's room, since I needed him to bring me back to Destiny Islands so I could pack, and also because it was probably about time he sat down with Riku and me and explained some things. I was abuzz with questions—why had the original thirteen broken up in the first place? Was Xemnas always that weird? What kind of a group was this? Where the hell did those giant strawberries come from?

I was beginning to embrace the possibility that the strawberries were some manifestation of our morning hunger in corporeal form when I reached the hallway and groaned. Axel had done something to the guest rooms—probably violating some Law of Lunacy in the process—to keep them from mixing around like the others, so Riku and I hadn't had issues with them. But Axel's own room and the others were a different matter. Yes, they do switch around: the room that was Axel's a minute ago might be Saix's now, and I sure as hell didn't want to intrude on Saix.

But I didn't have the slightest idea where to start. Axel had to do this weird counting thing whenever he wanted to find a certain room, but he didn't count in order and seemed to pick doors at random. So I just sort of waited there, hoping either someone would come out or some sign would descend from the heavens to show me the way.

Neither of those happened. Then I heard a sound, kind of like…well, to be honest, I'm not sure how to describe it. When I turned, I could see this white, angular thing coming towards me. Its limbs ended in little points, and it moved fluidly at first, but every so often it would just shudder violently, like it had gotten stuck or something. Each motion somehow produced that unearthly sound.

My first thought said it was a Heartless, and I was inclined to agree with that. I reached instinctively for the kit, but it wasn't there—we had yet to pick up new ones from the Service. So I called the Keyblade, but by that time the thing had opened one of the doors and entered. I chased after it and ran straight into someone's face.

I say someone's face because that's all it was, was an upside down face, and as I reeled and looked up from the floor, I realized it was Xigbar. "What's with you?" he wanted to know, rubbing his nose and looking up—or rather, down—at me.

The shock was a little too much for me to speak right then and there, and I realized too quickly that everything in Xigbar's room was upside down, including its residents. Axel was there too, and Roxas was curled up on one of the chairs, reading a book.

"Guh," I managed intelligently.

Xigbar rolled his eyes. "You guys are so _sheltered_," he muttered, seizing my arm. In another second I was standing beside him, and everything was right side up again. The only way I could tell any difference was by looking at the door, and I made a concentrated effort not to do that. "So what brought you high-tailing it in here?" Xigbar wanted to know, flopping down on the couch and putting his feet up on the table.

That brought me back to my original intention. "That _thing_," I said, glaring at the Heartless.

He raised an eyebrow. "You mean the Dusk? Axel!" He took of his boot and threw it at Axel's head. "This kid doesn't know what a Dusk is! I hold you solely responsible!"

Axel glared at him, rubbing his temple. "A Dusk is that thing," he said thickly, jabbing a thumb at the Dusk, which had procured a feather duster from nowhere and was delicately brushing it over all the weaponry Xigbar had hung up on his wall. "You talk to him, Xigbar," the redhead ordered, moving to sit next to Roxas. "I'm sick and tired of story time with those two."

I almost said something—I was sick and tired of it, too, but I hadn't asked for this—but I thought better of it, since Axel had a quick temper and I was more interested in the Dusk. "Think of a Heartless," Xigbar began, and I nodded, taking a seat across from him around the coffee table. "Now think of its antithesis."

That was harder, but I shot a sideways glance toward the white thing and kind of understood. I hadn't seen enough Heartless to judge, but the Dusk was cleaning, and that wasn't something I'd seen a Heartless do yet. "If the Heartless are the chaos, the Dusks are the order," Xigbar said expansively. "We pretty much just use them to clean house and stuff, but some of them can fight. If they hang around you for long enough, they start acting a little funny, too—Demyx's pick up a tendency to dance after a while."

"Why do you call them Dusks?" I asked then. "If they're the opposite of the Heartless, wouldn't they be…uh…Heartful?"

He let out a coarse laugh at that. "They don't really have a name," he said then. "People call them different things from Apex to Apex—that's where they hang out the most—and we settled on Dusks. Demyx actually had a different idea," he mused, scratching his ear and frowning. "He figured the same way you did, and wanted to call them Nobodies. But Xemnas wouldn't hear of it. He got really upset for some reason."

I blinked. "Really? That's weird. He doesn't seem like the type to get upset about…much."

"No, he's not," Xigbar conceded. "That said, I hope he doesn't head for the battlefield anytime soon. Saix's scar really bothered him."

"Oh, yeah, he and Saix were—" I cut off right then, suddenly remembering how private the interaction between Xemnas and Saix had been, and shot Xigbar a guilty look.

"Gave him a talking-to, did he?" he asked, and I don't think he even noticed the pause. "I figured he would, when Saix hung around. Saix didn't get angry, did he?" he added, leaning forward and resting his arms on his thighs.

"Well, no…or wait, maybe," I murmured, trying to figure out what it had meant when Saix grabbed his scar like that. "Xemnas told him not to do it now, or something."

Xigbar nodded. "Well, looks like you missed a chance to see Saix go postal. If you've been around him for more than five minutes, you've probably realized that he's not very expressive. Dopplegangers aren't, as a rule, and there's a reason for that. They've got all these primal urges from all the animals they can shift into, and when they get too excited, they can lose it a little bit. Go berserk," he added when I blinked.

"I feel luckier I missed it," I mumbled. "But now I've got another question."

He rolled his eyes and leaned back, throwing an arm over the cushions. "Axel wasn't kidding about this story business. Shoot."

"Snippet for ya," Axel called then from his place snuggled up to Roxas. "Xigbar can tell you to shoot, but you better not tell him to, 'cause he will."

"Hey, who's running story time, here? You shut up until you feel like taking over," Xigbar ordered sourly. "Ignore him. What've you got?"

I hesitated, not sure what kind of a reaction I would get. "Why did you guys split up?"

He stiffened almost imperceptibly. "What you guys?" he grumbled, suddenly irritated. "You guys who? You gotta give me better than that."

"Like—the thirteen, you know, you guys," I elaborated.

Xigbar's right hand suddenly disassembled and reformed into a pistol, and he fired straight at me. I stared at him, having been certain two seconds ago that he was going to kill me, and turned slowly. Axel was frozen only inches from the hole in the wall behind me, caught in the act of escaping, and he let out a faint, embarrassed chuckle.

"If I have to tell him about the split, you better damn well stick around," Xigbar informed him. He was dead serious, and Axel knew better than to argue. The Cyborg didn't relinquish his weapon until the redhead was safely seated on the beanbag chair in the corner.

Sighing heavily, Xigbar recalibrated the gun back into his hand and ran it over his forehead. "To make you understand why we split in the first place, I have to go back and explain from the beginning. The thirteen of us originally got together because of Xemnas," he began after a minute. "He decided to join Ajax Apex, where I was originally stationed, and the two of us kind of decided to pull together a group and establish an Apex of our own." He frowned. "I guess that was really more Xemnas's idea than mine, but whatever. He's the boss—always has been. We started collecting people here and there, and Xemnas was real keen on having everyone run by him before we accepted anyone. He must've turned away hundreds. The only one of us he wasn't sure about was Xurik, if I remember right, but none of us were really sure. He was just a kid." Xigbar shook his head then, reminded suddenly and bitterly of Xurik's demise. "Anyway. We came here and bought Nada Apex, and that's about when the war kicked in."

"You left out Organization Thirteen," Axel pointed out from where he was fiddling with a gun he'd taken down. "Xemnas insisted on Organization Thirteen as the group name, even though it's supposed to be Nada."

I got a chill suddenly, and maybe it was my imagination, but I thought Roxas shot Axel a funny look right then.

"I keep telling you to butt out," Xigbar said harshly. "And you be careful with that, it's an automatic."

"I know how to handle a _gun_, don't _worry_…"

Xigbar grunted. "Demyx seemed to think so, too. Nearly blew his ear off."

"Yeah, but you're overlooking the fact that Demyx is _Demyx_."

The Cyborg let out a rough peal of laughter at that and waved a hand in dismissal. "Moving on," he said to me, "the war started because a bunch of know-nothing pansies decided we needed more chaos in our lives. There was a big political struggle over it, and most of Zenith was all for it, but we were against it and Xemnas rallied a lot of the other Apexes to support us. In the end, somebody called Uno and we had to go to war."

I blinked and stared at him. "You went to war because somebody did _what_?"

"Called Uno," he repeated, frowning. "Obviously."

"Uno like the _card game_?"

"What the hell are you going on about now?" he demanded, beginning to sound frustrated.

"Xigbar," Axel chastised from the corner. "Be gentle with him. He doesn't know." He looked to me. "In Zenith, the word Uno has a kind of understood meaning. It has a ridiculously long translation to your understanding, but it basically boils down to the fact that there can be only one, and that means we have to battle it out until one cause wins over the other."

Xigbar was watching him in astonishment. "We have to break it down _that much_?" he asked in disbelief. At Axel's nod, he shook his head and ran a hand down his face. "Might as well turn the kid over to Xemnas for an explanation."

"He'd spend years of his life in there."

The Cyborg sighed in agreement. "To make a long story short, kid," he said then, "the lot of us didn't work too well together. In fact, a lot of us didn't really become friends until after we'd split up. We couldn't stop the war, so things just kind of went downhill from there. Then we…well, we finally split up because…" He hesitated, shooting a sideways glance at Axel. "I don't remember the details," he said quietly, "and I don't think you've been able to block them out yet."

Axel was staring down at the gun in his hands, fiddling absently with a loose part. He sighed heavily, and suddenly Roxas crossed to his side and curled up against him. "Xemnas…Xemnas said some awful things," he explained in a low voice, setting the gun aside and reaching up to stroke Roxas's blond strands. "He was getting really desperate by the time the war finally broke out, and he kind of snapped. He got really frustrated with everyone, so a couple of us tried to calm him down. I pushed him a little, and he finally just blew up at me." He hesitated, his lip twitching slightly. "I don't…I don't even know what he was talking about, but it got me so angry that I ended up hitting him. That's when I made the decision to disband. We all got on with our lives after that. Xurik and I still kind of stuck around when we went into the Service, and Zexion went on a pilgrimage for a while before he ended up back here. But everyone else went their separate ways. Demyx is the only one who stayed behind." He shifted. "Roxas, you're gonna put my eye out with that horn."

"You'd deserve it," Roxas told him spitefully, but snuggled down to rest his head on Axel's chest.

"That's why we split," Axel said then, looking up. "Some of us have been keeping in touch on and off, but I wasn't really expecting Xemnas to pull us all back together. Still, he's the boss," he said with a shrug.

I could tell he was trying to be offhand about it and waiting for the subject to change, so I decided to make it easy on him. "Yeah. And the boss says we need to leave in the morning, so you have to take me to Destiny Islands to get my stuff."

He groaned, dropping his head back against the beanbag chair.

* * *

We brought Riku along to the island, in part so we could make sure Kairi and both pairs of parents were squared away, but also so he could pick up a change of clothes or two. We'd been wearing the spares from Nada Apex, but those got old really fast—especially when they warped in the wash. And clothes from Zenith have a hell of a way of warping.

"I'll be back here in three hours," Axel informed us. "You go ahead and spend some time parting with the islands here. It might be awhile before you see them again."

My heart leapt up into my throat at that, and I shot him a frightened glance, but he was already gone through the portal. I looked at Riku, but he shrugged noncommittally. "It's only for a few days, depending on how long it takes you guys to track down the others," he reminded me. "Let's go find Kairi."

We encountered her at the park, glowering moodily at her notebook as she sketched out a few lines. She looked up when we approached, and there was a funny emotion in her eyes for a moment before she glared at us, too. "It's about _time_ you showed up," she said sharply, dropping the notebook loudly on the bench for emphasis. "Your parents keep calling me wanting to know where you've been, and what do I have to tell them? _Madagascar_. What the hell were you _thinking_?"

"Okay, we didn't really go to Madagascar," Riku began.

"Well no shit, Sherlock."

"That was Axel's idea, not ours."

"So where have you really been all this time?" she asked him pointedly.

He opened his mouth to reply to that, but stopped short and turned to me. "Inside a strawberry," I volunteered.

"_Oh_, y-you son of a—" Kairi cut off before she could finish that and looked away sharply, but I saw her lip tremble. She closed her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath. "Do you…do you have any idea…how worried I've been?"

We both froze at that, and a spasm of guilt shot through me. "Kairi," I heard Riku say sadly.

She was drawing in on herself now, stiffening and tightening into a fist of a person. "You…you've been acting so strange lately…an-and the explosion, and…and now this, and what am I supposed to think?" she asked, looking up at us briefly. Then she looked down again, sniffing and slapping away a tear.

"Kairi, hey…" Riku murmured, taking a seat beside her. "All I can say is, I'm sorry," he said in a pained voice. "I wish I could…I wish I could change some things, but I can't, and I don't expect you to understand, but…" She leaned into his embrace, clearly grateful for his presence even though I could tell she was still mad at both of us.

I looked away from them with a sigh. "I'm sorry, too, Kairi. We just—"

And suddenly she was in my arms, her own wrapped tightly around my waist. I looked at her in surprise, trying to figure out when she had left Riku's embrace and how she had gotten into mine. "You left me behind," she said quietly, her trembling voice right next to my ear.

"Kairi, what do you m—?"

"I thought it was for the best, I kept telling myself it was for the best, but you did it _again_, and…and I'm so scared, Sora. You _left me behind_."

Her grip tightened, and I realized she was beginning to tremble violently. "Hey, K-Kairi, calm down, all right?" I said in an unsteady voice, awkwardly putting my arms around her and rubbing her back a little. "Let's just try to talk this out."

I twitched involuntarily when I felt her nails dig into my back, and her voice was on the verge of desperation now. "Don't you_ dare_," she whispered, "do it again."

"Sora?"

I snapped to attention to see that Riku and Kairi were both looking at me in surprise from the bench. "Something wrong?" Riku wanted to know, and I knew from his eyes that he suspected a Heartless was involved.

"I, uh…no…no, everything's…fine," I said slowly, my eyes wandering to Kairi. She gave me a concerned look, her eyes still faintly red with tears, and I dropped my gaze. "So, uh…what's the—what's the agenda?" I asked Riku distractedly.

"You two are coming with me to the mall while I pick up a few things," Kairi informed me. "And I know you guys need some things for the trip, too. _You're_ running low on deodorant," she added to Riku, poking him in the chest. "And if I know anything about _you_," she said to me, "your toothbrush is worn down to the plastic. Not to mention I'm sure we can find some things you'll need while we're there."

We started out, and I drew Riku aside the first chance I got. "What the hell did you say to her?" I asked him.

"I told her we work for the FBI and we have to go save the president from ninjas."

"You did _not_."

"Well you would sort of know," he pointed out. "You were standing right there the whole time."

"No I—well, yeah, but—I—tell me anyway!" I sputtered. I didn't really want him to know about whatever had happened between me and Kairi—if it had happened at all. She was still _his_ girlfriend.

He snickered. "If you just couldn't be bothered to pay attention, Sora, I'll have to make it a trade secret."

I punched him in the arm.

"Ow, Sora, that really hurt!" he told me, rubbing it and shooting me an annoyed look.

"Sorry," I muttered grudgingly, and pulled ahead of him to catch up with Kairi.

We ended up hitting the clothing stores before anything else, and Kairi disappeared into a revoltingly girlish shop by the name of _Hannah Pink_. Neither Riku nor I would get caught dead in there, so we sat down on the benches outside to wait. As we did, I suddenly remembered something.

"Hey, Riku?" I began hesitantly, glancing over at where he was leaning back against the bench with his eyes closed.

"Mm?"

Just hearing his voice—just knowing what I was about to ask—was enough to make me lose my nerve. "…Never mind."

He cracked one eye and turned slightly. "Is it about Zenith?"

"No. Well…maybe," I mused, frowning. "If the Heartless are involved somehow…"

I had his attention now, and he sat up and faced me completely. "Spill," he commanded.

"You're hanging out with Axel too much," I muttered. Then I sighed heavily. "This is probably gonna sound stupid, but have you ever gotten the feeling like you're missing someone? Like there was someone who always used to be there, and every now and then you sort of remember."

He frowned, staring off at a point above the _Hannah Pink_ sign. "I'm not sure I follow."

"I think there used to be someone besides Kairi, and me, and you," I told him baldly. "Every so often I get this feeling, like I want to talk to them, or I remember something about them, but…the only thing I know is that they're supposed to be there, and they're not."

Riku studied me a moment longer, and suddenly nodded. "Oh. I was starting to wonder when you'd ask about him."

Him? That made sense, in a way—there was only one girl in Roxas's little group, and only one in ours. "What happened to him?" I asked breathlessly, leaning forward.

Making a hissing noise like he was in pain, Riku gave me an almost squeamish look. "He, um…he sorta hit his head. Gave us all amnesia. Wonky physics and all that."

"What was his name?"

"His name…" Riku took a breath like he was about to impart the wisdom of a master, "…was Duder McDude."

I could have screamed with frustration, but I settled for punching his arm again in the exact same place. "I'm _serious_, you blockhead!"

He looked genuinely surprised. "You are? Oh, jeez—sorry, you…just the way you sounded, I thought you were fooling around."

"I wasn't."

He slung an arm about my shoulders. "I'm sorry, Sora."

"It's okay. But I need to know if you've ever felt that way. It's important to me," I told him. It seemed odd that he'd pulled so close to me, but at the time I was a little more concerned with the missing person in my life.

For a moment he watched me, trying to figure out from my expression what he was supposed to say. Then he sighed. "No, Sora. I can't say that I ever have."

It was a bit of a blow, and I deflated with a long sigh. The fact that even Riku didn't have feelings like that made me doubt my own.

"Maybe you're remembering someone from a long time ago," he suggested. "Like that kid with the birthmark. Do you remember him? He was a bit of a weirdo, though…"

"It wasn't him."

"Okay, then, what about that blue-haired kid? The one who hated cats? You were pretty close with him."

I shook my head. "He moved away. I remember that. That's just the thing, Riku—I _remember_ him. I don't actually remember anything about this other person, except that they were there once. I don't know if they were short, tall, fat, thin, blond, redheaded, black-haired—I don't even know if it was a boy or a girl! All I have is this sense like there's supposed to be someone else, and sometimes it seems like they were just there a minute ago."

Riku was giving me a sympathetic but totally lost look, and I knew I wasn't getting anywhere. "Never mind," I said, sighing. "Whatever it is, I don't think I'll ever figure it out."

"Don't talk like that. It could very well be the Heartless' fault. We can bring it up with Axel and them," he assured me.

"Yeah." I glanced towards _Hannah Pink_, then looked at my watch and sighed. "She's certainly taking her time. We haven't got much longer before Axel shows up, and we've still got to go pack. I'll go get her," I volunteered, getting laboriously to my feet and trudging towards the store. I did _not_ want to go in there, but Kairi had probably gotten torn between two pairs of earrings and desperately needed a second opinion.

"Sora?"

I looked back, and realized Riku was regarding me with a confused look. "Where're you going?"

Frowning, I jabbed a thumb at the store. "To get Kairi, you goof."

I'll never forget that chillingly blank look in his eyes.

"Who's Kairi?"

* * *

Author's Note: (cackles uncontrollably) One of my better cliffhangers, if I do say so myself. And I'm sorry this is late, I was absolutely devoid of technology yesterday. Anyway, first half of the chapter is MEH. I was gonna rewrite it before posting, but I'm just…so…tired. So I may get around to it later. Kinda happy how the Kairi thing turned out, on the other hand, and Riku's following the stage instructions rather well (which is unusual).

As for Sora, he seems just as meh as usual, and I woulda fixed him, but…tired. I will get around to it. Hopefully.

If you got the Chrono Cross reference, I love you forever. :3


	9. And Kairi Makes Three

For a moment I just blinked stupidly at him. "Hehehehehe, good one, Riku," I managed nervously. "You already had your fun with Duder McDude. Let's just get Kairi and go home, okay?"

But the fog didn't clear from his eyes, and a black fear caught hold of my heart. He wasn't faking. I knew Riku better than anyone else in the world, and I could tell that he wasn't faking—unless he'd gotten insanely good at it. "Kai—ri," I enunciated loudly like I was teaching him a new word, plopping down on the bench again and seizing him by the shoulders. "Red hair. Blue eyes. Wearing a yellow shirt and tan khakis. She's your _girlfriend_, Riku!" I exclaimed finally when the light still didn't click on in his head.

He crooked an eyebrow. "I don't _have_ a girlfriend, Sora," he informed me, leaning forward suddenly and placing a hand on the bench beside me to block me off. "You of all people should know that." He smirked and drew closer, his head tilting to one side slightly.

"I—uh—what?" I stuttered, suddenly realizing that I was beginning to pant, and Riku wasn't showing signs of stopping. For one crazy instant, I considered never moving from that bench—never going to get Kairi and never heading for the beach to rendezvous with Axel.

_You left me behind. Don't you dare do it again._

The memory of Kairi's words jerked me back into reality, and I shoved Riku's hand aside and bolted. "We can figure this out later," I told him sharply over my shoulder. "Right now, we have to find Kairi."

He was staring at me like _I'd_ done something wrong, but at that he groaned and rolled his eyes, getting to his feet. "Fine. We'll go on this wild goose chase if you must," he conceded.

I dove into _Hannah Pink_ like it was a bomb shelter, shoving aside clothing and people alike in a mad search. "Kairi!" I called once or twice, getting more and more desperate with each moment I didn't find her. "Hey," I said to a woman by the changing rooms, "have you seen a girl about yay high, red hair, yellow shirt?" I asked breathlessly, holding up a hand at about the spot I figured the top of Kairi's head was.

She gave me that disapproving look a famous professor might give a student who dared ask a moment of his time. "I can't say that I have," she sniffed, and swept away towards the junior section like I'd done something to her personally.

_That_ wasn't much of an indication, I told myself hastily. Even if she'd seen Kairi, she probably wouldn't have noticed her, with that kind of attitude. But as I finished combing the store and went back to check everywhere again, I couldn't deny the fact that she simply wasn't there.

Riku was waiting for me when I went back to the front of the store, resting against the doorframe. "Did you see her?" I asked him.

"Nope," he said, scanning the store behind me. "Only two girls went out, both blondes. Sora…are you sure about this?" he asked hesitantly.

"Sure about what?"

"Are you sure this person even exists?"

"Riku, I've never been more sure about anything in my life."

He nodded once. "I believe you. We'll find her."

* * *

Axel was waiting for us at the pier at the play island, looking impatient. "You're almost twenty minutes late," he informed us.

"Had some trouble," Riku grunted, hefting the suitcases onto the wood as I got out and made for Axel.

"Do people ever disappear?" I asked him quickly. "Like—not just vanish, but vanish out of memories, too?"

He blinked in surprise at first, and then his eyes narrowed. "Come on." He jerked his head at Riku. "Leave those. We don't have time."

We followed as he set off at a brisk pace. Well, brisk is describing it mildly—we were on the verge of a run by the time we reached the paopu islet, and Axel opened up the swirling portal to between.

Once we'd endured the harsh falling sensation, brushed up on our knowledge of the alphabet, and passed by Zexion ("Fragmeister"), Axel took us directly to Demyx's room. He didn't even knock this time, but kicked the door open like he'd never seen a doorknob in his life.

Demyx and Xigbar were sitting across from one another, and looked up in shock as Axel made for them. "Demyx," Axel said shortly. "_Brandy_."

The Naiad had opened his mouth to object, but at that his eyes got big. "O-ohhh god," he moaned, and dashed toward the computer. "The three of you?"

"Yeah." Axel turned. "We're going to see Lea," he informed us. "She'll know what to do."

I seized Riku's shoulder in time as the world spun wildly, and then we were standing at Lea's desk at the headquarters of the Service. She was in the middle of processing a pair of recruits, if the very similar black-haired girls were any indication, but Axel slammed a hand against the desk. "We've got a problem," he told her. "Brandy."

She arched an eyebrow. "_You've_ evidently got a problem with brandy, but I sure don—"

"Not 'brandy,' moron, _brandy_!"

Lea's jaw went slack at that, and she moved to fiddle with the waist-high door that let her out of the desk. But her hands were shaking, and she finally just vaulted over and approached, suddenly all business. "Who remembers?" she asked crisply.

Axel looked at me, and then Riku.

"I do," I said then, realizing what she meant. "Riku's already forgotten her—"

"And you will too, if you're not careful. Keep thinking about her. Don't let go of her. Where did you see her last?"

"In a shopping mall," I replied promptly. "She's got red hair, and she's wearing yellow and tan."

"I'll get the sensor," Lea said to Axel, moving for her desk again. "We have to go back. Now."

She came back with a large, purple and black menace that I assumed was the sensor. It looked something like a handgun, if someone had decided to give it a million knobs and buttons and a satellite dish.

Axel quickly contacted Demyx and spirited us back over, but the Naiad sighed heavily even as we headed for the door. "You're not gonna believe this."

"_What_," Axel snapped.

"Blip. Five people instead of four."

"Oh for—!"

"Wait," I said then, surprised I did. "Wait, that—that's her! She's with us right now!"

Lea cursed. "It's definitely started to erase her, then. We don't have much longer."

We left Zenith at a run, and tumbled out onto the play island. Lea yanked a knob on the sensor and it started making a sound like a metal detector as she waved it back and forth. "The trail's cold," she informed Axel with another choice oath. "It's already contaminated her present. We'll have to rely on the past. You said she was at the mall, right?" she asked me.

"Mall?" I blinked. "When? The last time I saw her, we were walking out of the movie theater…"

Axel looked enraged at that. "I hate them to _bits_. No chance at the mall, then. You want to try for the theater?"

"That could be gone in a minute, too," Lea told him, shaking her head. "We've got to go somewhere important, somewhere we can connect her to someone else…"

_You left me behind._

I felt her hand on my cheek…I was so cold, why was I…was she crying?

I didn't realize it until Axel muttered something, but for a long moment I stood staring off into space, absently putting a hand to my cheek where I'd felt hers. That's when my eyes focused in, and I realized what I was staring at. "The cave!" I shouted suddenly, making the others jump. "The Secret Place! That's where we have to go!"

Axel and Lea blinked at me in bemusement, but I took off, with Riku at my heels. I didn't bother going through the Seaside Shack—I just jumped straight down onto the beach from the walkway and sprinted for the cave. "So," Riku panted, pulling up beside me; "she's my girlfriend, huh?"

I shot him a broad grin in gratitude. "Yeah. She's cute, I promise."

"She'd better be. But that's weird," he confessed. "I've always liked _you_."

BAM

"Sora!"

"I-I'm okay," I muttered, disengaging myself from the wall I'd just run smack into. "What did you just—?"

"C'mon! We don't have time!" Axel called as he and Lea breezed by, making for the cave with the sensor going. Riku followed, and I scrambled to catch up, limping a little from where my foot had rammed into the wall.

I heard their voices echoing against the rocks as I got inside, and I leaned against the wall a minute to catch my breath. "The hell's a _door_ doing here?" Axel wanted to know. "This thing looks completely natural! It'd kill the whole structure to put a damned _door_—"

"That's not where she is," Lea cut him off. "Let it alone. Wait—here!" she called, bending as the sensor fell silent and a light started blinking on one end.

Axel glanced at the rock and barked, "Sora, get over here!" As I approached, he jabbed a thumb at a pair of drawings. "Is that you?"

I blinked at them in astonishment. "Yeah, that is—I'd completely forgotten about these! That must've been—!"

"And just what the hell is that?" he wanted to know, indicating the other drawing.

"It's supposed to be Kairi," I informed him sullenly.

Riku was looking at the drawings in rapt wonderment. "Hey…" he began softly, his eyes flickering with recognition. But then it vanished, and he shook his head. "So what do we have to do?"

"It's up to Sora now," Lea said heavily, turning off the sensor and pulling away.

I balked. "Huh? _Me_?"

Lea turned burning jade eyes on me, her voice tight with anxiety. "If we can get her back at all, it's here, and you're the only one who can do it."

I hesitated, but time was clearly running out. Already her face was getting fuzzy in my head. "Just concentrate," Lea said, hefting the sensor again and turning a couple of knobs. "She's still with us for the time being, but we have no way of knowing how long that'll last. Keep thinking about her, no matter what happens, and try to connect with her mind."

They weren't exactly clear instructions—aside from the part about thinking—but I knelt down by the drawings and tried to focus. _Kairi. Kairi has red hair and the biggest blue eyes I've ever seen, and she's tougher than she looks, but she's a girl and she still does a lot of girl things. Kairi is fiercely competitive. When someone one-ups her, she'll usually make them regret it. Kairi hates grapes. The last time I tried to make her eat one she came very close to punching me in the gut. Kairi draws now and again, but she doesn't ever seem to like her artwork and won't show it to anyone. Kairi snorts sometimes when she giggles, but it's a cute snort, and she can usually pass it off as a hiccup._

It's impossible to describe the horror that is forgetting. Even as each of these thoughts passed through my head, they disappeared in a blur of destroyed memories. I wasn't sure anymore what her hair color was—I wasn't certain I could even remember her face. I turned to my crummy little drawing for comfort, trying to reconstruct the girl it represented in my mind. _We drew these when we were little,_ I recalled hazily. _It was Kairi's idea, because she said my hair looked interesting and she wanted to see if she could draw it. I just kind of doodled her while she was working. She seemed to think that was cute._

Desperation awoke as I realized that even this memory was fading. It no longer seemed like a girl had ever been involved. Maybe I was alone…

_Don't you dare leave me behind!_

Kairi. Kairi. Kairi. As long as I knew her name, she wasn't gone. And suddenly I recalled something from not so long ago—the sun on the water, Riku letting out a shout of alarm and pitching for the waves—_what does she like to wear, I forget_—she's falling forward, I reach out to steady her—_what are her parents like?_—"I'll come back to you! I promise!" even as her hand slips through mine—_what color is her hair?_—I see her reaching out for me—_would I even recognize her if I saw her?_—but there's no response, she's not saying anything in response—_what color are her eyes? That was important! At least give me that!_—I'm falling back now, her face is disappearing from the rock—_I'm losing her! I'm losing her!_—she's still reaching out, she trusts me, how can she trust me right now—_I can't let them take another one! I promised! I promised!_

And then a voice, strong and pure as daylight, echoes back along the water:

**"I know you will!"**

* * *

"Kairi," I said softly.

She mumbled something in response, and her head lulled forward into my shoulder. The two of us were sitting in front of the rock, with me still kind of kneeling and holding her while she sat with her legs tucked underneath her. She was limp at the moment, still dazed, and her arms rested against the stone, too weak even to support her weight. Not that I minded having to hold her. We'd come so close to losing her that I was actually trembling.

Turning her head to the side a little, she let out an exhausted sigh. "I knew you would," she murmured. "I knew it."

"What happened? Is she okay?"

I looked up as Riku knelt beside us, and he reached out instinctively to brush a stray red strand behind Kairi's ear. "I think so, yeah," I said a little shakily. "You, uh…you back to normal?"

He shot me a funny look. I took that as a yes.

Kairi made a little sound then, and pulled away slightly, blinking like she'd just come out of a particularly engaging daze. "Uh…hi," she said to me, completely lucid now and clearly wondering why I was holding her so close.

For some reason that made me smile. "Hey," I responded, releasing her and relaxing gratefully onto the ground.

She looked from me to Riku, and back to me. "Weren't…weren't we at the mall?" she asked.

"We were," Riku told her. "But we aren't now. How do you feel?"

"F-fine," she managed, trying to rise and faltering a little. "Why?"

I glanced at Riku, who shrugged helplessly. I wasn't sure how much of it he remembered in the first place, so I couldn't hope for much help from him. "We came out here to look at the drawings," I lied quickly. "Since Riku and I're gonna be gone for a while, you know, we figured we'd take a look around here again. You took a nasty fall and bumped your head."

"Oh…" She touched it gingerly. "That's weird, I don't remember any of that…"

"Temporary amnesia," Riku suggested.

I looked up at Axel, who was leaning against the wall and watching us impatiently. "Where's Lea?" I asked, suddenly realizing she wasn't present.

The Phoenix blinked. "Who's Lea?"

"Oh my _god_. _No_."

Axel laughed at that. "Just yanking your chain. She took off the moment she saw you guys were okay. Not much of a bedside manner in her," he remarked spitefully.

"Like you're one to talk," Riku grumbled as he helped Kairi to her feet.

"What's _he_ doing here?" she wanted to know, jabbing a thumb at Axel.

"I'm their chaperone," he replied without missing a beat. "You didn't think we'd employ minors without a chaperone, did you?" He turned to us. "We'd better get going. Come help me get your stuff."

Before I started for the cave entrance, I turned back to look at the pair of drawings. Neither Kairi nor Riku fully realized how much they meant to me right then, when they'd just saved me from another hole in my life—from another missing link. But I blinked in surprise when my eyes fell on them, because something had changed between the time I first looked at them and the moment when Kairi came back to us. "When did _those_ get there?" I demanded of nobody in particular, kneeling down and running a finger down the point of one of the paopus that had appeared out of nowhere. It looked almost as if the drawings were handing them to one another, but it was clear that the paopus were much more recent.

"When did what get where?" Riku wanted to know, and Axel raised an eyebrow.

"These," I said, jabbing one of them with my index finger. "They weren't there a minute ago."

Riku squinted at them dubiously. "Uh, Sora…what are you pointing at? There's nothing there _now_."

"We probably need to get you checked over," Axel muttered dismissively, crossing to the entrance. "Anyway, hurry it up. We've got to get back to the Apex before Xemnas comes looking."

Riku parted from Kairi with a quick kiss and a heartfelt hug, and dashed after Axel. I hung around a minute, still staring at the things that had appeared on the drawing. I _liked_ that drawing, dammit. In fact, I felt an almost exclusive right to it, considering I'd just about yanked Kairi out of it, or whatever had just happened. I wanted people to run it by me before they dicked around with it, but I wasn't sure now if what I was seeing was real. It was no trick of the light, though—the things were _there_. Blatantly there.

"Don't worry," Kairi said quietly from beside me. I realized I had been squatting and glaring moodily at the drawing, and I quickly rose and dusted off my knees.

"About what?" I asked.

She smiled mildly. "I can see them, too."

I blinked at her and looked back at the drawing. Something only we could see… "Hey…we were…" I frowned and toed the dirt a bit, linking my fingers absently behind my head. "You and I were…together once," I managed finally.

It sounded really stupid to me, but she just kind of nodded. "Yeah." Then she drew in on herself, putting a hand on her forearm behind her. "You, um…you'd better get going."

We walked to the entrance together, and when we got out into the sunlight, I realized we'd been holding hands. Kairi didn't seem to notice, though, and I didn't mention it. It was as if some part of our hearts had recognized each other on a deeper level for a moment, and then quietly sealed away, with no regrets.

* * *

I thought about that as I lay awake in the dark, listening to the sounds of Nada Apex at night, which were gradually becoming familiar. The heater clicked on and off on a timer, and I could occasionally hear Xigbar muttering in his sleep from the next room over. Every now and again I could pick up on that unearthly step of a Dusk slinking through the halls, but they never came into the rooms at night.

Taking a deep breath, I turned over on my side to get comfortable, and my thoughts turned to brandy. Brandy was the term for a disappearance like Kairi's, as Axel had explained. It actually referred to the substance behind it, which was extremely hard to get ahold of, and even harder to use—which was why people didn't go missing every day. Axel didn't want to go into the physics of the actual application of the stuff (and he looked a little squeamish, so I didn't push it), but he explained the way it worked: A person vanished at a specific moment in time, and then the memories of them got gradually erased. In Kairi's case, all of mine had blessedly returned, but Riku had a blank space between losing her at the mall and getting her back at the cave. Anyway, once the memories were completely gone, all the physical traces of the person's presence disappeared, too.

That meant I'd caught Kairi at the last possible second.

The thought made a chill go down my back, and I rolled back on my other side again.

"Quit moving," Riku muttered, reaching behind him to smack me in the head. "You keep stealing my warm."

The two of us were sleeping in my guest room, since Riku's was kind of out of commission at the moment. Somebody had mixed up something with the Dusks—suspicion fell on Demyx—and they'd sprayed the room with some kind of perfume instead of sanitizer or whatever it was they applied after a Wednesday. This was Zenith, though, so perfume was bound to be revolting instead of endearing, and this one was so bad it triggered a gag reflex whenever Riku and I got near it. The others didn't seem bothered by it, but they're just not human. And I mean that. They aren't.

I looked at his back for a minute, contemplating something. Something about the thing with Kairi had me feeling a little romantic, and we _had_ discussed that…that thing we discussed. I was still torn, though—after all, he was my best friend, and I didn't want to ruin that by having a weird relationship. At the same time, though, it wasn't anything serious, and if it was okay by him…

Taking a deep breath, I shifted a little nervously. "Riku? You asleep?"

He snorted. "Well definitely not _now_."

"Are you about to _be_ asleep, then."

"No."

Maybe it was my imagination, but his voice sounded almost…er. Nope. Definitely my imagination.

"Then, uh…" I squirmed uncomfortably. "About the thing…with the food court. I was, um, wondering…"

He turned around then, and I knew I had his complete attention. For a moment he considered me, aquamarine eyes slightly lit up in the moonlight streaming in from the window, and then he cocked his head to one side quizzically. "Want?"

It took me a minute to realize what he meant by that. "Yeah," I breathed, just to get it out and over with. Some part of me insisted Riku would laugh at me, or think I was weird, or get upset or something. It would be just a bit hypocritical of him, but I had my insecurities about this.

Riku moved in for a quick, chaste kiss. Okay, I thought hastily, that wasn't so bad. It's not like I've never kissed a girl before, and that…wasn't _much_ different. I retaliated, lingering a little to kind of get a feel for it. We were just playing tag right now.

Or so I thought. Riku obviously had other ideas, as I figured out a moment later when he kissed me powerfully. I made a surprised little sound—he was obviously taking the lead, but I wasn't about to let him do that. Pushing back, I grabbed him around the waist and pulled him close, just to show him I knew what I was doing, too. I felt him smile around the kiss at that. Then his arms were around me, and suddenly we weren't kissing anymore. I didn't have time to wonder where his lips went before I felt them on my throat, and let out a faint, involuntary moan. It was _Riku_, yes, but it was intimate enough to make goose bumps stand up on my arms, and I could almost, if I closed my eyes, imagine it was someone else.

But he was gaining too much ground, here. I had to do something before he reduced me to a pile of goo. So I ran a hand up his bare chest, searching for a nipple. I wasn't too sure if it worked on guys like it's supposed to on girls, though. (I may not have gotten past necking yet, but I'm not _that_ innocent, people. C'mon.) It turned out it didn't matter, because before I could even find one, Riku did something down below. I stiffened abruptly with a choked gasp. "Hey—no—no—wait—stop," I rattled off quickly, wriggling to get free.

He pulled away immediately, holding his hands up. "You're right, you're completely right," he said. "I'm moving too fast. I'm sorry."

"I-it's okay, we just—we forgot to put down some ground rules," I got out quickly. "Nothing below the waist. Cool?"

"Cool," he replied hesitantly, obviously not ready to take the lead until he was sure I wouldn't panic again. That was fine with me, and I went at his neck like a vampire, nipping here and sucking there. It surprised me how easy it was to go at it, even though we were both guys, and awkward guys at that—I didn't have much experience, and I knew Riku hadn't gotten far (not with Kairi, anyway). For some reason, he didn't fight for the lead so much after that. I figured he didn't want to chase me off again, and while it surprised me that he was that desperate, I guess it's because he's a guy, and guys like sex.

I'm the one who called an end to it, mainly because I was thinking about going further and I didn't want to. With effort, we both pulled away, looking at one another and wondering if we'd really just done that to each other. I shifted uncomfortably and winced a little in pain. "I…uh. I hafta go to the bathroom."

"Me too." Riku's eyes glinted competitively. "Race you."

Before I could get another word out, he was on his feet and moving. I darted after him, but he got there first, and I almost ran into the door as the lock clicked. "Riku!" I called angrily, pounding on it. "I called dibs!"

"You _don't_ want to come in here right now."

Letting out a frustrated groan, I crossed back to the bed. There might have been another bathroom around nearby, but I still didn't know the secret of the doors and I didn't want to wake up Xemnas or someone—especially not _now_. So I just curled up and hoped it would go away, Riku would get done, or I'd fall asleep. Maybe I was just tired from the, uh…excitement earlier, but the world quickly turned fuzzy. Nonsensical thoughts and shadows of dreams passed through as I drifted off.

Riku moaned faintly, and suddenly I was wide awake again. I let out an enraged yell, throwing his pillow at the bathroom door. _I'm not getting any sleep tonight,_ I thought hazily, glaring out the window at Zenith below.

* * *

Demyx called us down for breakfast the next morning. I was not aware of this, and it took Riku shoving me out of bed to yank me back into consciousness. I trudged into the dining room after him like a zombie. Zexion had made some green pancake things that were sort of bitter, but not bad when mixed with this sweet stuff called "glit" that was apparently a constant condiment like salt or pepper.

As we dug in, the conversation turned to politics. I only faintly registered this, and sleepily realized Xigbar was giving us both a funny look. "Are you two married?" he asked warily.

"Me and…?" I mumbled, blinking owlishly at him. I was too tired to remember the name I had been about to say.

He nodded towards Riku.

I glanced over, looked back at Xigbar in incomprehension, and suddenly jerked awake. "W-_what_? No! Of course not!"

The Cyborg sighed heavily at that. "You really should get married first," he advised in a conspiratorial tone.

It took me a few moments to process that. Then, just as Zexion was passing me the basket of what looked like rolls, I turned bright red in absolute mortification. He shot me an annoyed look. "You could've just said no," he said icily, handing the basket to Axel.

The Dusks brought down Axel's and my luggage once we'd finished, and we quickly said our goodbyes. "Back in a couple days," Axel promised Xigbar and Saix, enclosing each in a brief, rough hug, and he planted a kiss on Roxas's forehead. He was wearing his leather jacket I hadn't seen before, which looked kind of weird next to his fur.

I was inclined to give Riku a quick hug as well, but I noticed Xigbar watching us, so I just kind of gripped his shoulder a minute. "See you when we get back," I said, dropping my eyes from his.

"…Yeah. See you."

There was a note of regret in his voice, but I didn't have time to worry about it as we headed out the door. The Dusks carried our luggage to the taxi—a small, unmanned pod that traveled through chutes—and then wriggled back to the Apex lobby.

* * *

Author's Note: I'm more than happy with the Kairi thing. That just really floats my boat. As for the interaction afterward…em. _Awkward_. And I know it was supposed to be a little odd, being their first time in that close proximity, but eh. Anyway. Fangirl away and lemme know what you think.

On another note, I discovered that FF.N has been SCREWING with my JUNK. So if you ever felt like, in chapter six or earlier, there were a few places where it really jolted from one scene to another, it's because it stupid didn't recognize the breaks between them. I've gone back and added them in, though, and hopefully there won't be any more confusion from here on.


	10. Sushi and Science

**Due to time constraints, this chapter is a little late, but this doesn't change the next deadline. Next one should be up in another twelve days.**

* * *

"So where're we headed first?" I asked Axel, watching the Zenithian skyline as the pod started moving.

"I figure we'll go in order," he replied. "We know Xaldin's here in pear, and Vexen's in avocado, which'll take us at least ten hours. Then we skip to…" He shuffled through the pages of addresses Demyx had prepared for us, and then sat back a minute, grimacing. "We have to go up to banana to pick up Luxord, find out what the hell happened to Marluxia, and track down Larxene in…aw, dammit!" He ran a hand through his hair. "Larxene's in _peach_! This is gonna take longer than I thought…"

"About how far is that?"

"Well, we can get to Xaldin and Vexen in one day, and then Luxord the next morning. If we somehow find Marluxia over there, it'll take us another four or five days to get to peach, and one extra when we backtrack to pear. It wouldn't," he added, "but getting to peach means crossing the battlefield, which'll take ages."

I balked. Pineapple. "I thought you said we weren't going there," I said immediately.

Axel sighed. "We're not going to the part where they're _battling_, obviously. They have routes for civilians to cut across to the rest of Zenith."

"So, wait…this civil war's going on at the _center_?"

He shot me an annoyed look. "You ask a damned lot of questions. Look." Flipping over one of the sheets and resting it on the circular table between us, he conjured a pencil from thin air and drew a circle. "This is Zenith. The battlefield is here." He circled a spot a little to one side, but still pretty much at the center. "I know you people carry out your wars using invasions and all that, but we just duke it out on a battlefield. The idea is, the first one to run out of troops and supplies loses. And if everyone converts to one or the other cause, then one of them will inevitably run out of shit. Following me so far?"

I nodded hesitantly.

"That's why the real war," Axel said, making several smaller circles within the oval, "goes on between the Apexes, who work politically to get supporters. Right now, Ajax, Guru, Ever, and Gala Apex are on our side. Mere, Polo, and Zoro are against us, and the other seven are still trying to figure things out. Most of the Towers and Crests are with us, though." He sighed irritably. "The whole thing's pointless. Zenith is this way for a reason, and you just don't go messing with the natural order of things."

"That depends on what you think the natural order is," I murmured. Unbidden, the thought of Riku sprang to mind, and I shoved it to one side. "So the Apexes are the political backbone?" I asked, looking back at the spire of Nada Apex behind us.

"Close. The Towers rule things," he said, pointing at a spire of about the same size. Upon looking it over, though, I realized it was much farther away than Nada, and only looked the same because it was so big. "There's only one of those for each city. Apexes are the next step down, and Crests after that. So we _are_ pretty high on the food chain," he added with a grin.

The computer started beeping then, and I looked around for something to hold on to. "Don't worry, taxis don't do that," Axel said dismissively, folding up the papers and shoving them in his jacket pocket. "It's just letting us know we're descending. We _will_ have to go down a couple of levels," he said with a grimace.

Xaldin's restaurant was in the Secondary District. To break it down, Zenith had five levels: topside, or airspace for the Towers, Apexes, Crests, and other particularly tall buildings (and it also came with the taxi system and interlocking passageways, so you could actually go just about anywhere topside without ever having to set foot on the ground); the Primary District, which was basically topside's ground and consisted of mostly businesses and expensive estates; the Secondary District below that, which was businesses, residences, schools and such; and the Tertiary District, where the poor people lived and houses of ill repute took root. It was the realm of the chicken festival, which Axel refused to go into. He also wouldn't tell me about the fifth level, which he just referred to as "the low end." Even so, not every city had all the levels—it depended on the population density.

So we descended out of topside and straight past the Primary District. The Secondary District was actually brighter than the Primary one, because its ceiling glowed to provide light and the buildings weren't buried in the shadows of the spires above. Axel briefly pointed out that the glow actually came from shafts that sent sunlight down through a system of mirrors.

I could tell right away that he wasn't used to the Secondary District. He hadn't had a problem at plum, but that had been Primary—here he seemed to look everything over with an extra layer of suspicion, and he jumped whenever someone brushed his shoulder walking past. "What's with you?" I finally asked him. "You've been all jittery since we got here."

He sighed in frustration, casting a wary glance at a passing Lampade. "I was born and raised topside," he said. "And I do mean topside—I didn't know the Districts even existed until I was twelve. I'm not used to encountering people en masse like this," he explained, grunting as someone else pushed past us.

I could kind of identify with him. Destiny Islands isn't very crowded, so I wasn't prepared for the flow of the crowd either, but Axel just seemed to be taking it to extremes. "Calm it down, okay?" I hissed at him. "People are staring. They might think something's wrong with you."

Axel chuckled at that. "They're staring at _you_, smartass."

Blinking in surprise, I turned my attention back to the people. Most of them just brushed by everyone else, looking straight ahead, but as a couple of them moved past us, a few sets of eyes flickered in my direction. Two schoolchildren, holding hands as they maneuvered through the streets, stopped dead and gawked shamelessly. "Why?" I asked uncomfortably, staring back and drawing unconsciously closer to the redhead.

"They can't figure out what you are," he said with a smirk. "The only thing you could possibly be is a Cyborg, but you'd have to at least have scars for that. It'd be like if I was walking around on your world with fur," he added when I looked at him uncomprehendingly.

"But Xemnas doesn't have anything strange," I reminded him defensively.

"Xemnas has orange eyes," Axel told me, pulling one lid back for emphasis. "Only Lynxes have orange eyes."

"Oh—that's what he is? I was wondering." I frowned. "But he doesn't look like a cat…"

He pierced me with a flat gaze. "Do I look like a _bird_?"

"Well…no."

"Good. I would've cooked you if you said yes."

I opened my mouth to point out that he sort of needed me, but didn't bother a minute later as we hit the sushi bar and grill. It astounded me to find that the food there was _really sushi_, and not some Zenithian variation or flagrant misnomer. But then, Zenith would logically get an influx of people from our world as a result of the Service and its beef with the Heartless, which could easily influence the market.

It wasn't until we got inside that I remembered Axel saying something about Xaldin's love of knives. Because the guy loved _knives_. Passionately. He was, in fact, the main attraction, catering to a table of what looked like thirty people while more at the other tables looked on in awe and envy. He was black-haired, with all kinds of braids caught up in a ponytail behind him, but the things I noticed first were, of course, the miniature wings on his wrists and back (and later the ones on each of his ankles). They seemed to be fluttering slightly as he moved, circulating the air, which I realized he controlled. His concentration was veiled, and he made it look almost natural as the seven or so knives of varying shapes and sizes danced in a whirlwind around his head and shoulders, chopping apart the vegetables and meats he juggled up to them. There were several times when it looked like he was on the verge of seriously injuring himself, and each time his audience twitched back involuntarily. It was hard to see from where I was standing, but it seemed like the ghost of a smirk flickered across his face when they did that.

"_Xaldin_!" Axel barked, making the better part of the restaurant jump in surprise.

A knife came hurtling out of their midst and buried itself above his head, quivering and pinning a strand of red to the wall. I looked back at Xaldin to see he was glaring at the Phoenix, the rest of the knives frozen around him. "The next time you do that, you're gonna lose some fingers," he growled in a low voice.

"Right. Gotcha. Listen, Xal," Axel began, approaching the table calmly even though each of the knives in Xaldin's phantom grasp were now pointed straight at him. "Xemnas sat us all down for a little talk, and—ooh, getting shabby there," he said suddenly, indicating a cut that had opened up on Xaldin's cheek.

It was obviously from Axel's startling entrance, but the chef only wiped the blood away roughly. "What about Xemnas?" he demanded, all business.

"He's pulling Organization Thirteen back together, and Zexion needs you in the kitchen anyway."

"Uh-huh. Well you can tell Xemnas to blow it out his ass."

"I don't like it any more than you do, but the Exchange is coming up, Xaldin," Axel reminded him. "We don't have time to apply for a reduction. We have to have thirteen."

Xaldin made an indelicate sound as he stacked the knives up on one side of the grill. "Get a replacement, then. I'm done."

"We've already had to do that, and we've got to be able to use the old methods," Axel said in a tight voice that told me his temper was getting shorter. "If we bring too many newbies into the mix, we're gonna have a major problem coordinating."

"Two won't hurt you much," the black-haired man grunted. "I've got people to feed, Axel. Get out of here."

Said people, having come out of the awe Xaldin's skill inspired and the shock of seeing Axel come very close to losing a couple inches, were beginning to look a little impatient. One little boy, obviously the same class as Xaldin if the wings on his hands were any indication (I later found out he was a Squall, or wind djinn), was tentatively trying to lift one of the knives. His mother smacked the back of his hand, making the knife drop back onto its fellows and inspiring several of them to skid straight onto the grill. Xaldin effortlessly lifted them again, still glaring darkly at Axel.

The redhead sighed at that, throwing up his hands. "I guess that's all I can do, then. But Xemnas did force me," he began then, and suddenly hooked an arm around my shoulders and yanked me in front of him, "to bring this little guy along. He seems to think Sora here'd change your mind. You convinced?"

"No. Get out. Wait," he said suddenly, just as Axel shrugged and turned to go. The Phoenix turned back, one scarlet eyebrow arched. "What'd you say his name was?" Xaldin asked, watching me intently.

"Sora," Axel drawled. "S-O, R-A. Got it memorized?"

The chef growled at that. "I don't know how I managed to forget about that stupid _line_," he grumbled, but his gaze never left me. His shoulders slumped then. "I have to, don't I?" he asked me in a dead voice, his eyes almost beseeching. It took me a moment to realize it, but something in him was connecting with me—in much the same way Kairi had earlier when she was acting so strange.

But that didn't give me an indication of what to do. I blinked, and looked over at Axel, who nodded anxiously. "Um…yes?"

Xaldin muttered a nasty word just as all the knives hit the floor in a symphony of clangs. "Fine," he said, ripping off the apron in one smooth motion. "I'll get my stuff and head for the Apex in two hours."

He stalked past the both of us, ignoring it as the rest of the restaurant erupted into indignant cries and slamming the door behind him. I watched him go, and then shared a mystified glance with Axel. "Did I—? I mean—what did—? Why?" I asked him.

The Phoenix let out a helpless little laugh at that. "You're the one who did it, not me. Anyway, we'd better make for the taxi before people get a little too rowdy in here," he added, but didn't look too happy at the prospect of going out on the streets again.

* * *

If I thought Axel was jumpy in pear, it was nothing compared to avocado.

The minute the train crossed the border was the minute he started fidgeting, and he kept looking at the clock like just looking at it would somehow speed up time. "What's the matter _now_?" I wanted to know. I was a little cranky—part of the route from pear to avocado was down, then up, then down again, and I wasn't happy about it. Not to mention we'd been flattening our asses on the benches for close to ten hours now.

He ignored me and checked the address. "Vexen's topside, thank _god_," he murmured. "I heard he'd invested in a couple of apartments in the Secondary District, but those must be for coworkers or something."

"Good thing, too," I remarked sourly. "You'd probably shake to pieces, the way you've been acting."

"You're in a pissy mood," he remarked, glaring at me before twitching sharply and looking behind him out the window.

"I'm tired and hungry, and the train brought me very close to rediscovering those peanuts from earlier," I informed him. Well, I had thought they were peanuts—they looked like them, but didn't really taste like anything. But there hadn't been anything else on the snack cart that I thought I could bring myself to eat.

"Worfs are too gluey for that," Axel told me, frowning and picking distractedly at something on the paper. "Those things cement themselves to your intestines. You're in for an interesting bathroom break later."

I would've replied to that, but just then the tone came on that told us we had reached our destination, and I thought it'd be more prudent to go for the luggage instead. Axel sat up too, shoving the papers (which were beginning to look very battered) back into his pocket.

The station was bigger than the one at pear, with high, vaulted ceilings, and Romanesque columns lining the main hallways. It kind of looked like the basement of Nada Apex, but not so white. People were all over the place, so Axel kept twitching like he was having a seizure. Fortunately, it was relatively short-lived, as we stepped right onto a taxi and headed for the most prominent spire in the city.

Vexen was a Jotun—an ice mage—who worked in biochemistry at avocado's Tower, as Axel explained. Since he was of such high status, it would take a while to get through to him, but members of an Apex had an easier time of it. It was at the Tower that I finally got a look at Zenith in its entirety.

I was gazing out of the floor-to-ceiling windows that lined the waiting room, taking in Zenith's skyline while trying to avoid looking at the ground below (I've been over how I feel about falling, but just to clarify, I do, in fact, hate it and everything it stands for). Axel didn't seem as impressed with the view, and was riffling through a magazine. Then I suddenly caught sight of something hung up on the wall next to the counter—a bright gray something, with edges that looked sort of like a land formation. I scampered over to it to discover that the word _Zenith_ was inscribed at the top, and the mass of gray was divided into sections that looked suspiciously like fruit.

"…Why are there two bananas?" I asked Axel after a moment of inspection.

"There are three," he replied, stopping at one page and glancing at it before immediately thumbing to another. "Avocado's one of them. It's the one in between," he added.

I looked to realize this was true—the two bananas above and below were turned inward, and the third in between was shaped more like an eye. "So how do you tell them apart?"

"Inflection," Axel replied simply. " 'Banana' has three syllables. Where you put the stress determines the location. BA-na-na is the one on top, ba-NA-na is avocado, and ba-na-NA is the one on the bottom."

I considered that, looking over at the other places on the map. Pear was in the southeast with plum, and the battlefield split the country more towards the west. I could make out the city of peach far to the west, above cherry, and pineapple underneath the battlefield. "That actually makes a lot of sense," I said after a while.

Axel snorted. "_Duh_."

The door opened suddenly and a young Naiad woman with watery blue eyes opened the door. "The doctor will see you now," she informed us in a nasal voice.

I looked back towards Axel, who was rising, and moved to follow the woman. She closed the door practically in my face. "Uhm…?" I managed in bemusement, raising a fist to knock.

"You don't go in _that_ way," Axel told me in irritation. "That'd be rude. Do I have to explain everything?"

"Apparently, yes," I replied sourly, falling into step behind him as he went back out through the door we'd originally come in through. But Axel just muttered something and didn't elaborate, and since it was a much more trivial thing I decided not to pursue it.

Vexen was a long-haired, blond man with a narrow face and languid expression, as well as skin the color of snow with clusters of ice crystals at his hairline and wrists. He was sitting at a pristine white desk, listening to an attendant and nodding intermittently as we entered. Once he saw that it was Axel, his eyes narrowed and his lips quirked in amusement. "If it isn't number eight," he said, ushering the attendant away with a negligent wave. "You haven't darkened my doorway in months. Of course, that's because you usually get in through the fire escape. Is there any particular reason why you've chosen to be direct this time?"

"Xemnas has finally gotten around to feeling bossy again," Axel replied. "I figured I'd be generous and give you the chance to run."

The Jotun looked skeptical at that. "Xemnas was at the chicken festival, last I heard," he informed Axel warily, riffling through a few papers on his desk with his thumb.

"I heard the same, but he decided to come back over now that the Exchange is coming up," the Phoenix explained. "We never really did get around to finishing the paperwork on Nada's liquidation, partly since Demyx was still using the place and mainly because people like you ran the hell away the moment you got the chance, so now we're paying the price. I'm not about to let you skip out."

Vexen leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands and smiling wanly. "Axel, in the past four months, I have responded to exactly five false alarms on your part, most of which involved a meeting of Apexes and all of which involved me spending otherwise useful hours in transit. The last one was very elaborate, by the way, and I must congratulate you on your attention to detail."

"Thank you," the redhead said amiably.

"However, that's not even taking into account the number of times you've endangered my office—to which we will _not_ be setting fire, so you can put that away," he added sharply, and Axel guiltily shoved a lighter back into his pocket. "The end result is, of course, I simply cannot trust a word you say, regardless of whatever evidence you've managed to fabricate."

Axel shrugged. "I'm telling the truth this time."

"Are you feeling lazy today, or have you just lost interest?"

"Both," the Phoenix replied. "If you just don't want to come, I'll let Xemnas know and the bastard can come over here himself. He's the one who sent me, even though I _told_ him you people wouldn't listen to me."

"With good reason," Vexen told him stiffly. "You're certainly not pushing very hard this time. Changing tactics—it's a good idea, but it won't work."

Axel shrugged. "Okay. C'mon, Sora."

Vexen's eyebrows shot up at the sound of my name, but he only glanced at me and then started going through the papers on his desk. I started to follow Axel, but then stopped, struck by a sudden inspiration. "Hey, uh…Doctor, um, Vexen?"

There was still suspicion in his forest green eyes as he turned them on me. "Yes?" he asked patiently.

"Why did you fall for this five times?"

He looked stunned, and then frowned, obviously interpreting this as an attack on his intelligence. "If you've known Axel for very long, you've probably picked up on his devious nature. He can be very convincing," he said tightly, shooting a glare at the Phoenix.

"Not _that_ convincing," I said. "It seems like you would've stopped listening to him a long time ago…unless you were too interested in what he had to say."

For only a moment the blond looked angry, and then a sudden, scholarly interest flickered into being on his face. "What are you getting at, boy?"

I hesitated at that. The notions seemed to be cropping up out of thin air—more out of intuition than fact. "I, er…I don't really get it myself, but…I think you've been hoping for this to happen, and so…to find out it was a lie each time, well…that must've hurt a lot."

Vexen stared at me in astonishment for a moment, and then passed a hand over his face. He clasped his hands and rested his cheek against them, staring detachedly at the corner of his desk and blowing a slow sigh through his nose. "And you…you're saying it's real this time," he said quietly.

"I know it's real. I've talked to Xemnas myself."

He closed his eyes. "I want to believe you."

"Then go ahead. The most it'll cost you is a couple hours on the train."

The Jotun looked at me sharply at that, his gaze calculating. "Think about what you said earlier," he hissed from between clenched teeth. "It will cost me…so much more than that." He stood then, looking down at his hands splayed across the desk, and waited for a few moments, as if he was trying to divine something from them. "If you're lying," he began in a deathly quiet voice, "then from the bottom of my soul to yours, I beseech you to stop, before I begin to hope."

For a moment I couldn't bring myself to speak. He was truly vulnerable and bared right then, and that was happening to too many people while I was around. Not only that, but somehow that absolute surrender, the fact that he was to the point of imploring, made me doubt reality. Maybe I was wrong—maybe we'd go straight back to the Apex and no one would be there, and it'd do something horrible to him. "I'm not lying, Vexen," I managed finally, willing my voice not to shake. "It's the truth. I promise you it is."

He didn't answer that. Then he finally looked up, and that same smile dawned on his face—only warm enough to be genuine this time. "You're too easy to read," he remarked lightly. "You might want to work on that, for future reference." He sank back into his chair and reached for the papers again. "I will be at the Apex as soon as I can extract myself from these reports, Axel, and you can thank your Keymaster here for that."

"Oh," Axel said faintly, looking a little flabbergasted. "Um. Good then. Right. See you there," he said shortly, and made for the door. I followed with a quick farewell, and the two of us stopped in the hallway. Axel's hand fisted in his hair as he began to pace in a sudden agony of anxiety. "Holy sh…damn. I…wow. Vexen's supposed to hate us—I mean, _hate_ us, like deeply _loathe_ and _abhor_ us on a subatomic level. He was the very first person to leave the Apex, and…and I thought, I mean…I was just trying to waste his time and mess with his head, but…" He groaned. "Aw, _crap_…I've got to come up with a way to apologize."

"Yeah, he…" I looked back at the door to Vexen's office. "He was really hurt."

We were silent for a moment. I didn't want to sound accusing, but at the same time I couldn't just pretend like it was okay. From what Xigbar had said earlier, Vexen had certainly had a rough time of it as a member of Organization Thirteen, but he was evidently attached to it enough to deal with that. He'd even gotten emotional about it, with Axel standing right there—but part of that was probably from the weird reaction people were having with me.

Finally, Axel sighed heavily. "Um. We…should probably move on. I'll have to talk to him when we get back, but we've got to track down a hotel so we can get to Luxord in the morning."

"Yeah." I started to follow him, but stopped short again, suddenly remembering something. "Axel, what…what's a Keymaster?"

He grunted. "Someone good with keys, I imagine."

"Like…someone who wields a Keyblade?"

"I guess." He arched an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because that's what Vexen called me," I said. "Right before we left."

Axel stared at me a moment, and then his eyes disappeared behind a veil of thought. "I honestly don't know. He couldn't possibly have known what your weapon was…all our rules and yours are against it. Now, if you'd asked him about the upholstery in the waiting room, that'd be another thing, but…" He scratched his head. "Could it be something with the way people are acting around you?" he suggested. "Maybe you're not the only one who gets unusually intuitive."

"That would sort of make sense, I guess," I said uncertainly.

Axel's eyes got large then, and he seized me by the shoulders. "What was the word again? Tell me the word."

"Key—Keymaster," I stammered in surprise.

"You're sure—you're one hundred percent sure it was Key_master_?"

"Yeah."

"No doubt in your mind?"

"No."

His jade eyes stared into mine intensely for a few moments, and then he relaxed with a sigh, pulling away. "All right. As long as it was that, and not…not something else."

"Axel…is something wrong?" I asked him, hurrying a little to catch up as he started off again.

"No, it…it's nothing. Just…there are a couple of words people throw around that they really shouldn't, and I wanted to make sure it wasn't one of those."

I frowned, an inkling of comprehension dawning at the edges of my mind. "Like…Kingdom Hearts?"

SLAM

I was up against the wall then, with Axel's hands painfully tight around my shoulders and my feet dangling several inches off the floor. "_Who the fuck told you about Kingdom Hearts?_" he demanded in a feral growl, his face so close that our noses were almost touching.

"X-Xemnas did, it was Xemnas!" I told him quickly, my heart going a mile a minute. I was suddenly reminded of just how strong he was, and how he could light me up without hesitation if he wanted. "He just—he mentioned it in passing, it was nothing! I-I don't even know what he meant!"

Axel gradually calmed, and my clothes brushed the wall as he let me down. "Sorry. Xemnas, then. He _would_ do something stupid like that. You just forget it, okay?" he said to me, his voice still tense. "Pretend you never heard it. It's better if you don't get too involved in this world."

He stalked down the hallway away from me, and for an instant it seemed like he wasn't Axel at all—but someone far more dangerous. Someone without inhibitions.

* * *

I not only forgot about Kingdom Hearts, but I just about forgot everything that had happened in that hallway by the time we hit the hotel. Axel grumbled a little about topside's prices—they were higher here than in pear—but seemed much more at ease and in a good mood, probably because it was topside and not somewhere farther down.

"Hey—fruit! Nice!" he pointed out brightly as we entered, dropping our bags in the closet. I looked at the bowl on the kitchenette countertop, expecting to see blue hearts and purple diamonds or whatever passed for fruit here—but it was, in fact, fruit. Axel snatched a pear off the top and flopped onto one of the beds, clicking on the television. I sat down beside him, munching on an apple and trying to understand what was going on. It seemed like a game show, but things did a lot of appearing and disappearing, and Axel occasionally burst into peals of laughter for absolutely no reason.

I lost interest quickly, and suddenly realized I needed to use the bathroom. And it, to make a long story short, was the most horrible crap in the history of horrible craps. Axel was giving me a sympathetic look when I finally came out and eased into one of the chairs by the counter. "Worfs?"

"Worfs," I replied wearily, wincing and shifting to get comfortable. "What other channels have they got? Anything from home?"

He snorted. "Disney channel, if you're into kiddie stuff."

"Disney? Seriously? See if Aladdin's on, I've been meaning to catch up on that."

The Phoenix crooked an eyebrow.

That got me annoyed. "What? I was _raised_ on Disney, alright? It's in my frickin' _blood_."

With a muted chuckle, he shrugged one arm and tossed what remained of the pear in the wastebasket. "Fine," he said, and flipped through a few of the channels.

"You want something else from up here?"

"Sure. Any peaches?"

"No. You like bananas?"

"Can't get enough of them. Hold on."

"Here." I tossed one to him.

He caught it out of reflex, his eyes locked on the screen, and suddenly looked at it in horror. "Oh _sh_—!"

The door locked suddenly and loudly, cutting him off, and the window latched just as the curtains whisked shut. I heard a muted popping noise and suddenly felt very strange. It didn't really dawn on me what had happened until I looked over at Axel, who was beating himself in the head with the banana. "_Never_ accept a banana from _anyone_," he was muttering.

I stared at him. "You—wait, you and…and me, we—we're _naked_?" I demanded of no one in particular, ending in a very undignified squeak as I quickly covered myself and looked for my clothes.

"Yes, we are," he replied sourly. "Just be happy it didn't happen outside."

I got up and ran to the closet, yanking on a pair of boxers. No sooner did I have them on then the popping noise happened again, and they vanished as if they hadn't been there in the first place. "What the—_what the hell is this_?" I demanded of Axel, thoroughly freaked out now and ducking behind the counter to stay relatively decent.

But Axel wasn't paying attention. He'd grabbed the phone and dialed out what sounded like twenty or thirty numbers, and frowned at the television as he waited for the person on the other end to pick up. "Hey, Roxas? Yeah, listen, you know that one rule about bananas?" Roxas suddenly got very loud, and I couldn't make out the words, but they made Axel sigh heavily and pinch the bridge of his nose. "Yeah. Yeah, look, I…No no—Vexen?—_no_, Roxas, that was…Okay. Okay. Yes, I know. Are you done?" He waited, still glaring at the television, as Roxas got out (from the sound of it) several choice oaths and expletives. "I love you too," he muttered sourly. "It was an accident, okay? Sora didn't know…Yes, it _was_ Sora, so it's not like I'm that far off…Well he _wouldn't_ know, it's not like we run into bananas every day here…Roxas…_Okay_, Roxa…Look, stop it. I…I'm gonna hafta ask for your permission," he got out finally.

I thought maybe somebody was getting killed on the other end of the phone.

"I know…Ro…Roxas…Hold on…Look, I know the definition of a devo…I know. Yes, but we're kind of stuck here. Either you say the word, or we're gonna be like this for a while." He sat up then, punching the bed. "What do you mean _good riddance_? I'm probably the first devotion you ever…Okay, _second_, then…Well if you killed her, it doesn't count. Listen—_Roxas_!" he half-shouted then. "I know you're upset, and I don't like it any more than you do, but it happened, and we're going to have to deal with it now. Give me permission or I'll have to void the devotion."

There was a shocked silence, and then a bitterly sarcastic response.

"Okay, okay, you've made your point, that's all I need. I'll see you at home…Oh, I _expect_ you to. Bye." There was a click as he rested the receiver back on its cradle, and then he turned to me. "So. We're kinda stuck."

"What do…what do we have to do?" I asked him, trembling a little. The phone call had been more than enough to get my imagination going. It was, ah…it was also difficult to keep my eyes from straying to certain parts of Axel's body.

He rose, and I took a few steps back. "Okay. Um…yeah." He bit his lip. "Sometimes things that come through from your world have certain…distortions, and with bananas, you're not supposed to hand a banana directly to someone or…"

"Or what?"

He sighed heavily. "Or you're going to have to…do…_something_…together."

I balked. "You mean…like…like me, and—and you, and…and we…!"

The Phoenix frowned. "I told you to hold on, but you wouldn't _listen_…" he pointed out defensively.

"But—but Axel, I don't—I _can't_—there's gotta be—!"

"I wish there was, but there isn't." He came closer and put a hand on the countertop, and I backed away towards the closet. "And if you try to run from me, you won't get far. You might've noticed how it locked up the room."

I looked at the window, imagining jumping out of it for a moment—but we were extremely high up, and I'd screw anyone in the world rather than fall from that kind of height. And that's not even taking certain death into account. "I…I wasn't expecting a banana to do all that," I managed finally.

"They do," Axel told me, taking another step closer, and this time I willed myself not to move. "The clothes will come back after we're…done, but until we are, they'll keep disappearing," he explained. "Roxas has given permission, so I say we get it over with as soon as possible."

I nodded numbly, not trusting myself to say anything.

"We'll do it in increments," Axel assured me, stepping away finally and beckoning. "I don't think we have to go too far. Come into the bathroom."

Axel gave me my first handjob, and that's as much detail as you're getting.

* * *

Author's Note: (listens to the sweet sound of several yaoi fangirls screaming in unison)


	11. Seriously Wasn't Expecting That One

I tried not to think about it in the darkness of the hotel room, safely encased in my pajamas and watching the starlit sky outside the window. Axel had been very calm and casual about the whole thing, obviously to keep me from freaking out, but it had been beyond weird. I was still squirming from shame, embarrassment, and a peculiar feeling of unfaithfulness, and kept tossing and turning restlessly.

"You don't stop moving and I'll come over there and deck you in the face," Axel promised drowsily from a few feet away.

I froze at the sound of his voice, and then relaxed slowly and nervously, trying to get into a position where I could hold still. "Sorry," I half-whispered, and waited until I could hear him snoring faintly before turning back to the window.

Why did I feel unfaithful, I wondered suddenly. To whom? Riku, I realized with a sinking feeling. But we weren't romantically involved—whatever was going on between us was driven by hormones and nothing else. _In that case, why did he say he likes you?_ came a nasty little voice in the back of my mind. Because he was messed up, I thought stubbornly. He didn't have Kairi to focus on anymore, so brandy or whatever must've switched it over to me. It didn't mean anything. _How can you be so sure? Why didn't you ask him about it?_ You don't just _ask_ your best friend that, you have to be careful—you might lose them, I thought back fiercely. I couldn't imagine losing Riku in any sense of the word.

_What if he started this because he likes you?_

I froze for a moment, shell-shocked by the enormity of that revelation. Riku wouldn't…Riku wouldn't have done that to me, would he? It would be one thing if he was scared of what I might think, I could understand that—but to get me to fool around with him…

_Think about it. He was always the instigator, wasn't he? The thing at the food court was his fault. He's the one who kissed you when we got captured. And he was only too happy to start necking the minute you gave the word._

Guys can be dumb sometimes—delirium—general lust—I knew what each of the answers were, but they seemed like frail shadows of fact compared to the growing intensity of speculation. What if Riku tricked me? What was I going to do about it if he really liked me? Could I bring myself to just accept it and move on, or was I going to have to split from him as a friend for good? Would I be able to forgive him for taking advantage of my curiosity?

Paranoia set in, and it was at the worst possible time—I wouldn't see him for days, and by the time I got back, everything he did or said to me would seem like a threat. He's my best friend, I kept telling myself. No matter what's happening now, he was my best friend _first_, and that's what he's always going to be.

_If our friendship can survive this, it can survive anything,_ I thought bitterly before falling asleep.

* * *

I half-awoke the next morning because Axel was shaking me, talking on the phone as he did. "Uh-huh. Well get Zexion to check it out, I don't wanna get stuck out there," he said, moving around the room as he did. "What did Xemnas say?" There was a sharp ding, and he padded towards the kitchenette. "What do you mean? It's not like he doesn't care, we've got a deadline to meet…Yeah, I know it's important, but you heard how adamant he was about the Exchange, and you're pretty stuck on it yourself." He chuckled at the explosive response. "Someone's taught you some new words, I see. You haven't been spending too much time with Roxas, have you? He can get a little colorful when he wants—Sora, get up!" he called, and then returned to the phone as I mumbled and burrowed deeper under the covers. "Oh is he? Yeah, Sora and I had a problem…I guess you know, then. Yeah. No, it wasn't serious…C'mon, Xigbar, I'm not gonna go into it…Please, that doesn't make it okay! I don't care if he was Roxas's _clone_…It was a devotion, moron, I _had_ to get permission, it was in the fine print."

Axel's voice was getting closer now, and he reached out to shake my shoulder again. "C'mon, Sora. Chow. Let's go."

"Don't touch my…window…" I murmured hazily. I don't really remember what I was dreaming, but I think I was washing a house.

"And how're they settling in?" Axel continued, walking away again. He snickered. "He would. You'll just have to get used to sushi for a while. How's Vexen?" he added with a peculiar gentleness to his voice. "Yeah? Oh come off it, he can't be that bad…Hey, Xig, don't be too rough with him, okay?" Xigbar's coarse laugh was loud enough even for me to hear. "Have not! I just know he's been having a rough time of it lately…Only once, the other times he stopped me. Oh, and Xigbar, does he…have you told him about Xurik yet?"

Silence.

"…Oh. How'd he take it?"

I was suddenly awake and interested, and pricked my ears like that would somehow give me the power to catch Xigbar's voice on the receiver six feet away. It was quiet enough in the room that I could pick up an indistinct mumble, but nothing more.

"He was shut up in there all day?" Axel repeated incredulously. Xigbar replied with an affirmative. "Damn that must've been cold…well, maybe Zexion can talk to him…Yeah, I figured Saix was still getting him. Any word on Marluxia?" The redhead drummed his fingers on the countertop. "Seriously? I don't know…Well I don't know what we're supposed to do, then. He could be absolutely anywhere…Not even a tip? Okay, well…" He sighed, and I could just see him running a hand through his hair. "I guess we'll just see if we can work a jungle into it somehow. Because…Pineapple? You're a sick bastard, there's no way we're going to pineapple." Xigbar laughed again, and Axel let out a frustrated sigh. "Bye, you prick. See you whenever the hell we get home."

There was a beep as he shut off the phone and then dropped it on its cradle on the bedstand. "C'mon, you, we've gotta get moving," he informed me, poking me viciously in the side. I squirmed and garbled a protest, but grudgingly sat up after he confiscated the covers. "They've been trying to contact the other Apexes," he informed me as I stumbled to the countertop and sat down to a breakfast of blue toast. "A lot of the old contact info is outdated, so Xemnas is probably gonna have to go see a few of them in person."

"What was that with Vexen?" I asked sleepily, rubbing at my eyes as I tried to figure out which parts of the toast were supposed to be edible.

"Vex…? Oh. He and Xurik were pretty close," Axel explained, trying to sound offhand as he poured himself a drink. "I think Xurik looked up to him or something. But they kind of had a falling out when we all split up. Negra juice?" he offered, holding up the carton.

"What is it?"

"Er…good?"

I shrugged. "Sure." I had been a little selective now and then when it came to food originally, but now I pretty much accepted anything. It was useless to resist, especially at Nada Apex, where what Zexion cooked was what you ate—period.

"Did you…did you ask about Riku, by any chance?" I asked then, struck by a sudden wave of uncertainty.

"He asked about you, actually," Axel replied. "I got to talk to him a little before Xigbar took over."

It felt like a weight had dropped in my stomach. "D-did you tell him…abou…about the…?" I asked him in a trembling voice, gripping the countertop and feeling a little dizzy.

"What? No, of course not," he said dismissively, waving a hand. "And I still say you're worrying way too much about that. At least you don't have to face Roxas when we get back," he added in a mutter.

"I have to face Riku, though," I said before I could stop myself.

He shot me a crafty look.

"I—I didn't mean it like that! I meant—if he found out, he'd think—!"

"Of course, of course," he said in a placating tone. "I'm sure Xigbar was just hearing things the other night."

I shoved away from the counter and nearly fell over, but ignored that and crossed my arms, glaring at the floor. "You two have the _biggest_ mouths…!"

"Only between us," Axel assured me. "I hate his stupid guts, remember?"

"You also hate Saix's stupid guts. And probably Demyx's."

"True," Axel said idly, seizing my plate and his and moving towards the sink. "But not quite as much. Go ahead and get dressed, but nothing too fancy—we're gonna be spending most of today en route."

* * *

Banana was immediately above avocado, as I'd seen on the map, so it only took us two or three hours to get there—which was refreshing after the ride to avocado from pear. Even so, I managed to get so bored on the train that I actually started an argument with Axel just to argue. He was in a sour mood when we finally stopped, but he did seem noticeably brighter somehow after leaving avocado.

That didn't last. "God—Luxord is in the _Tertiary District_!" he raged, having finally taken a look at the address. "I _hate_ the Tertiary District!"

"Is gambling legal here?" I asked him, remembering that Luxord's specialty had been casinos.

"Only in pineapple," Axel muttered. "That place is fucked up."

"Then that's probably why he's down there."

"I know. I hate it anyway."

It was much darker in the Tertiary District than the Secondary—the ceiling still glowed, but it was obvious that we were only getting whatever the Secondary District didn't use. It was also grimy and humid, but not as densely populated. There were a few people around the city square where the taxi dropped us off; many dressed in ratty clothing and one or two deformed or crazy—or both. We passed a Jotun with ice crystals all over his face, which had lengthened and distorted from the pressure, and he breathed in desperate rasps. Two children ran past—Naiads, by the look of them, with dirty faces and well-worn hand-me-down clothes. An emaciated dog with calculating amber eyes took a glance at us and slunk around a corner.

Aside from the square, the Tertiary District seemed to be made up of mostly dank alleyways, populated occasionally with nodding drunks and the echoes of a prostitute's exaggerated laughter. We were passing through one of these when several dark figures appeared from the sides and blocked us off, their bodies spread out to look menacing. Axel reflexively pulled me behind him and held his arms loosely at his sides, fingers twitching. "We're not looking for any trouble, boys," he told them in a low, dangerous voice.

"Neither are we," the one at the center informed us, stepping forward into a patch of light. He was blond, with a nasty-looking scar splitting his face. "We're only out to make a living, but if it gets troublesome, we're just gonna have to deal with it. You wanna make it easy on yourself and just hand over the dough?"

Axel smirked at that. "I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm a charitable guy, and normally I'd spot you some—but as it turns out, we're headed for the casino. My buddy Luxord plays a mean game of poker, so we're gonna need every piece."

At Luxord's name, the other thugs drew in on themselves suddenly. "Shit—Luxord's got a long arm, yanno? You heard what happened to Nixadez."

"Excruciating," came a monotone agreement.

But the blond didn't waver, still studying Axel out of cold black eyes. "He's bluffing."

"Oh no—see, I don't bluff," the Phoenix informed him, leaning casually against the wall. "That's why I suck at poker. But if you want to try me, by all means, go right ahead," he added, and I could just see his eyes glittering.

The thug didn't back down. "Refexis," came one of the voices warningly. As if in response, Refexis's arm discombobulated and refused into a complicated set of gears and hinges, with five very pointy blades rotating lazily at the end. These he pointed abruptly at Axel, who took a wary step back. "You're getting off easy," he barked, and turned on his heel to stalk back to the others. They dispersed as suddenly as they'd come, and I finally remembered that I had to breathe to stay alive.

"Little hooligans," Axel muttered almost fondly, pushing forward again. "We're almost there. C'mon," he added when it took me a minute to function again and catch up to him.

Luxord had about three casinos to his name, but really only hung around the largest and most exotic one—the Golden Rose. It had an island paradise theme, with the attractive female attendants walking around in flowery coconut bras and unusually short grass skirts. Some of the more expensive machines were set up to look like treasure boxes, with plastic palm trees sprouting here and there between them.

Axel passed by all of these with me at his heels, heading straight for the rooms that were, of course, blocked off to the public. "We're looking for Luxord," he informed the imposing guard.

The man grunted. "You're gonna have to try harder than that."

"He and I are old friends," Axel explained, digging in his jacket for the card he'd shown the lady at Vexen's office. "We worked at the same Apex."

After squinting dubiously at the card for a few moments, the guard beckoned us by with two thick fingers. Another one met us in the next room, and led us down the hallway to Luxord's quarters. "A Phoenix here to see you," he informed Luxord by speaker. "Says he works at Nada Apex."

There was a pause. Then a voice with a heavy English accent came scratchily from the other end. "Throw the wanker out."

Before the guard could make good on that, Axel swooped forward and pressed the button to reply. "Xemnas will have your head," he said quickly, his voice tense and a little high-pitched.

There was a silence on the other end, and then Luxord came back on with a sigh. "Send him in."

Luxord was seated on a black leather couch, a cigar between his lips, and he shot Axel a glare as we entered. He had what looked like a pair of rainbows tattooed around his wrists, like shackles, and his white-gold hair was streaked with green. He wore a pressed red suit with a few gold trappings here and there. "Lovely of you to stop by. To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked Axel sourly, taking the cigar out and tapping it once over the ashtray.

"Xemnas, of course," Axel replied, flopping down onto the couch opposite him. I hesitantly took a seat beside him. "He wants to bring Organization Thirteen back together for the Exchange. How's your pot of gold, by the way? Or is it lucky charms now? I forget," he added, smirking.

The blond sniffed at that, not deigning to grace it with a reply, and suddenly turned his attentions to me. "Evening, young man. And how are you liking the casino so far?" he asked politely, smiling and pointedly ignoring the fuming Axel.

"Don't change the subject—!"

But Luxord held up a hand, and then used it to gesture to me to reply.

"Ummm…it's…really nice," I managed lamely.

"Is it?" Luxord asked mildly, but his eyes were on Axel now. It took me a moment to realize it, but the two of them were silently communicating, using a series of slightly different looks and motions. It was all very subtle, and I probably wouldn't have even picked it up if I wasn't so nervous and looking for something to remark on—but I held my tongue about it. They must have been using rules, I realized, when the communication was just too subtle to have any real meaning. Each of them was making something known through a rule, and getting his response the same way.

"Axel the Phoenix, wasn't it?" came a voice from behind us. The two of them locked eyes for one quick moment before turning. The guard had come in, and was holding a small cardboard box. "This came for you a few moments ago. Somebody must've known you'd be here."

The redhead frowned and took the offered box, squinting at the address. Luxord took advantage of that moment to turn his attention back to me. "Do you happen to hold a job at present?"

"I work at the Service," I replied automatically.

"Really? Noble work. But it's a bit lacking when it comes to pay…"

"Axel? Is something wrong?" I asked then, noticing he'd gone white in the face.

He made a muffled sound in the back of his throat. "It's from Roxas," he said, carefully setting it down on the table and drawing away as if it contained a bomb—which was a likely possibility.

I frowned at that. "He must've sent it before the…um, the thing. For it to get here now, I mean," I pointed out. "Or do your rules—?"

"No no, you're right, you're right," Axel said quickly, smiling with relief and picking up the box again. "I wasn't thinking straight." He tucked it into his coat pocket and looked back at Luxord. "That leaves us the problem of you."

The blond spread his hands helplessly, and then leaned back, throwing an arm over the couch and crossing his legs. "My offer still stands. If you're not willing to take it, you might as bloody well head back."

"I don't part with capital that easily," Axel told him, also getting comfortable and piercing Luxord with calculating jade eyes. "But I guess I could bring a pair of dice into it if you wanted."

Luxord's ears pricked. "Are you suggesting a game?" he asked, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"I am. Spinny Louise?"

"Bah. We need something more sophisticated—more traditional," Luxord said, his eyes glittering. "What say you to a smidge of poker?"

"If that's the best you can do, I guess so," the Phoenix replied.

"The stakes?"  
"I win, and you join us at the Apex," Axel began, jabbing a thumb in that general direction. "You win, and you can have the kid."

…

_WHAT_?!

"What kid?" I demanded.

"You," Axel replied, smirking. "I'm sure those grass skirts don't itch all that much once you get used to them."

I balked, looking from him to Luxord, and realized that the blond's eyes were dancing with amusement. "N-no, there's no way he wants _me_—!"

"On the contrary, you're exactly the exchange we've been discussing," Luxord drawled, his eyes moving to Axel again. "I could probably bargain him down, but I simply can't refuse Lady Luck, especially when her call is this compelling."

"Axel what the _hell_!" I exploded in a whisper, grabbing him by the shoulder and pulling close conspiratorially. "You're about to bargain with _me_? With _this guy_? He runs the frickin' casino, Axel!"

The Phoenix nodded, shrugging. "I guess you're right, he's pretty good."

"He's _more_ that pretty good! He's probably had years of exper—wait, POKER? You said you suck at poker! How are you supposed to win like this?" I hissed desperately. Zenith was an insane, volatile place, but Axel had to at least have some common sense and reason.

He smiled at me benignly. "Sora, have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?"

"I've got a hell of a reason_ now_!"

"Axel," Luxord said warningly, and I looked up to realize that a dealer had come in and was arranging the coffee table before us. The blond looked at me and smiled. "You're welcome to play, too, if you like."

"Better not," Axel murmured.

I glared at him and reached blindly for the cards.

"I said you'd better not," he repeated in a growl. "Let me handle this. You'll only get in the way."

After the way he'd thrown my life on the table, I wasn't inclined to listen to him—but something in his voice made me back down. Not only that, but I didn't know the first thing about poker. I'd only be a liability anyway, I thought glumly, looking desperately at the cards as if I could convince them to play out in my favor. _Is he serious?_ I wondered, looking at Luxord. What exactly did this bet entail? Was I going to be stuck at the Golden Rose for the better part of another twenty years, or was it some Zenithian misunderstanding that would blow over by the end of the game? Could I get out of it? I didn't think so, looking at the guards standing on either side of the door. But he couldn't honestly expect me to follow through when I hadn't had a say in the first place—or could he? This was the Tertiary District. Maybe slavery was regular fare, I thought waspishly. It _was_ slavery, if he wanted me for an attendant—because that's what he wanted, right? _Just an attendant, right?_ I found myself asking the silence in my head, catching a sudden chill from a nasty idea that was forever banished from my mind the moment I hit upon it.

Axel and Luxord got down to playing. I don't know enough about poker to identify which version it was, but it looked like they were only using two cards apiece—at least at first—and I can tell you that Axel _sucked_. Axel, in fact, redefined the entire concept of suckage when it came to poker. If he got a bad hand, he punched the table and knocked a couple of chips over, and if he got a good one, his eyebrows shot up like they were trying to go into orbit. Luxord was much harder to read. Whatever his hand was, he reacted in exactly the same way—letting his eyes slip slightly to the left, as if he'd suddenly noticed something very interesting over there. He didn't look relaxed, though. He was actually very tense, but if he ever relaxed at the sight of his cards, I couldn't pick up on it.

As it wore on, though, I grew less interested in the game and more interested in my future as an employee of the Golden Rose. Maybe I could be one of the guards, I thought hopefully. Axel's comment about the dress had been mortifying enough on its own. But what would the Service do? What would _Riku_ do? What if he or Kairi saw me in that outfit? My horror at that ran too deep to describe. Confound it, _why_ had Axel made this bet when he knew he couldn't win? He seriously couldn't have done any worse if he was _trying_ to lose.

I fumed on the couch beside him, getting steadily angrier as more and more chips migrated to Luxord's side of the table, and when Axel cursed loudly and kicked the table leg, I finally lost it. "You son of a bitch!" I exploded. "What the hell were you _thinking_, getting into all this? And dragging _me_ along, too? I've actually got a _life_, and I don't want to spend it banging around this place with _that_ creep! You could have at least warned me about it or talked it over or—or something, you…you stupid _bird_!" I finished finally, words failing me as apoplectic fury took over.

His eyebrows shot up, and he looked at Luxord. "You heard him," he said, pointing at me. "I win."

"Bloody hell!" Luxord said harshly, throwing his cards down. "You cheated! You bleeding cheated! Rule of logic!"

"Rule of mess," Axel told him, waving a placating finger. "Rule of logic doesn't apply, it wasn't a question. And the rule of mess is actually in _your_ favor, if you think of the possibilities. Lady Luck just doesn't always play for the home team, Luxord."

Luxord sat back and crossed his arms to sulk.

I looked at Axel. "I missed something."

He laughed at that. "Luxord and I were just talking out a few terms," he said simply. "I said I could get you to, without a doubt, call me a stupid bird. If you hadn't, you'd be working for him right now," he added jovially. "But I doubt he'd make you wear that getup."

"Oh, he would," Luxord snorted. "He'd be working in the fairy section. Obviously."

"Obviously?" I repeated, indignant.

"Of course," he replied, shrugging. "You haven't exactly got a figure, but you've got more curves than most boys, and then there are those girlish limbs—not to mention you roll your hips just so," he added.

Why is everyone always so focused on my hips?

"Anyway, it's irrelevant now," Axel said, rising. "You lost, so I guess we'll be seeing you when we get back to the Apex."

Luxord muttered an affirmative, and something about "bloody wanker."

I was not through with Axel, as I decided when he steered me out of Luxord's room and past the guards again. "You made a bet," I began testily, "that I would call you a stupid bird. And you didn't even use any rules to back it up."

"Nope," he said brightly. "One hundred percent conjecture."

"That is seriously almost as bad as the poker thing."

He shot me an amused smirk. "Yeah, but Roxas called me that earlier. I get the feeling he does that when he starts winding down—you were a lot quicker, though."

"So you based it off Roxas?" I asked, incredulous and slightly sick to my stomach now.

"Yeah."

"Uh…Axel, has it occurred to you yet that we're practically exact opposites?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm…uh, _civil_, and Roxas is…is…" I frowned. "Roxas is Roxas, okay? You know."

"No. I actually didn't know that."

I glared at him.

* * *

It wasn't until we got on the train that I finally remembered about that package from Roxas. "So what's in it?" I asked Axel, who was gazing lifelessly out the window.

"Hm?" he said distantly.

"The thing from Roxas," I specified, nodding towards where it was in his jacket pocket. Then I blushed. "That is, unless it's something…private."

Axel snickered at that, fishing it out of his pocket and rattling its contents. "Sounds a little heavy," he remarked, picking at the tape around the edge. He quickly grew frustrated with it and remedied it by singeing it and breaking it open, and he tipped the contents out into his hand. A small blue ball rolled out, followed by a slip of paper. Axel was quick to catch the ball, muttering a quick "Jeez!" as he did and clasping his hand tightly around it. "Is he _trying_ to get us caught in a hanger?" he demanded of no one, glaring at the slip of paper as he opened it. His expression changed, though, when he looked at it. I wanted to ask what it said, but I didn't, and I didn't have to. "Bring this back to me or else. Love Roxas," the Phoenix read aloud, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "P.S.: I'm going to sodomize you with a toothbrush."

I blinked. "Um?"

"A threat is a come-on here, remember?" Axel said irritably, but his voice was subdued, and he looked at the blue marble with a kind of gentleness. After a minute, he squinted at the sun in the distance and held the ball up, letting it catch the glow.

And then he dropped it.

My stomach dropped with it, and I heard Axel go "Oh sh—!" but it was too late.

The ball hit the floor, bounced, and started to roll steadily away towards the back of the car.

I looked up at Axel in befuddlement, and for a moment he scrutinized the sphere in obvious confusion, but then he relaxed. "The floors," he said, and stood up to retrieve it.

The floors. Obviously. Why hadn't I thought of that?

"What _about_ the floors?" I asked him as he sat back down.

"They're slightly curved inward," he explained, demonstrating with his hand. "You can't see it, but the ball went towards the center there, so that must be what it is. I guess they wouldn't want any unscheduled hangers happening on the train," he mused. "I don't know if it'd take the whole car or what."

We chatted amiably for a while, and then fell silent. Axel picked up a habit of tossing the marble up and catching it while he watched the scenery pass by. He was very dexterous with that thing—I don't think I ever saw him drop it again, and he switched hands from time to time. But I guess he had to be, when he wielded those chakram things.

I watched him with it on and off, feeling a little demon of envy take up residence in my heart at the sight of it. No one had sent _me_ anything…but who would? Riku? Definitely not. Kairi? Like she knew how to reach me. What about…?

Them again. I sighed. After the thing that had happened with Kairi, I'd thought that other person would either crop up or finally go away, but they hadn't. I had considered mentioning them to Axel and Lea, but what could they do about it? I didn't have the first memory of the person. I couldn't have told them anything except a little ghost story.

What were they to me, I wondered, watching Axel throw the marble up with his right hand and catch it with his left. Were we friends, or were we actually enemies? Or were we just acquaintances? Maybe I'd only met them a couple years back, in school or something. But why would I expect them to send me something? It would have to be someone who cared deeply…

Were we romantically involved?

That sent a spark through my system. Suddenly I wanted to know everything, and I wracked my brain for memories. Anything, I pleaded with the oblivion in my head, just a memory of their eyes, their voice—anything at all would be better than this. Maybe _this_ was the person that made me feel unfaithful, maybe _this_ was the one making me feel jealous—maybe the absence of _this_ person was the reason why it seemed so very cold and lonely right now, even with Axel right across from me.

I couldn't bear that. For a few moments I was as jittery as Axel in a crowded stadium, as if twisting in an agony of anxiety would somehow make time go faster, would make me forget. I looked at the marble. The marble was the only constant.

_They gave me something…_

Unconsciously, I fumbled for something in my pocket.

_Something important, something special…_

"Where is it," I muttered thickly, turning both pockets inside out and standing up to check the back ones. I patted at the vest and shirt pockets in a sudden desperation—it was _here_, it was _here_, it was _right_…here…

"Why're you fondling yourself?" Axel asked dryly.

Jerked out of it, I glared at him and dropped my hands. "Just forgot something," I muttered bitterly. I _had_, after all, and in more ways than one.

* * *

Right next to the battlefield entrance (or the entrance to the Zenithian Battlegrounds, according to the map) was our hotel, a small, squat building with peeling paint and some major plumbing issues, as Axel discovered later. He did some violent convincing to lower to price, which was ridiculously high for such a dump, and grumbled about it as we lugged our stuff up to the dingy room.

"Fucking ripoff," he muttered the minute we entered, and I was inclined to agree. There was a terrible smell about the place—not even taking into account the clear signs of some sort of infestation in the ceiling. The sight sort of reminded me of my own infestation, and I shrank behind him like I wanted to use him as a buffer.

"What've we got for food?" I asked.

"I dunno that I'd trust whatever the hell they've got here," Axel replied, setting his load down by the bed and crossing to the freezer. A thick puff of yellow burst out of it as he opened it, and he jerked away, coughing and slamming the door. "What the f…who the hell keeps throttlies for this long? These must be _ancient_!"

I wasn't sure just what throttlies were, and wasn't too interested to find out after that display. "Uh. Well, I guess we'd better make the best of it anyhow," I said a little dejectedly, flopping down onto the bed. A cloud of dust sprayed out from under the mattress, which of course sent both of us into a coughing fit.

"You…_would_…say something like that," Axel muttered between convulsions. Then he sighed, moving for the phone. "Root around in our stuff and see if you can find something edible," he said over his shoulder. "I gotta figure out what we're doing."

I listened to him dial as I started to go through our stuff. He only put in about three numbers, even though I'd swear on a Bible that he'd put in at least twenty before. But whatever. Zenith, you know.

"Hey, Demyx. How's it going?" Axel sat down on the bed, careful not to stir up any more dust. "We're okay. We're in this fucking dump of a hotel by the battlefield. So what's the word on Marluxia?" He waited a minute as Demyx explained something in an apologetic tone, and then ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly. "You still have no idea," he said in a dead voice, and Demyx replied with a reluctant affirmative. "So what's Xemnas doing about it?…Oh don't give me that, Xigbar already…Well figure something out! I don't wanna drag Sora all over the fucking…" He sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know. I know. I'm _sorry_, I'm just…Okay. Then we'll just pick up Larxene, and if we don't run into him, we don't run into him. Maybe we can still use Riku or someone…Oh does he? Okay, I'll tell him." He looked over at me, dropping the phone from his ear a little. "Hey, Sora. Phone."

"All I could find," I said to him, indicating the box of what looked like green crackers that was only half smashed in, a carton of Negra juice, and some battered oranges.

"Oh, well. That should tide us over for tonight," he said, holding the receiver out to me as I came over. He snatched it back just as I reached for it. "Riku wants to talk to you," he said with a little smirk.

"Shut up," I snarled at him, but nonetheless grabbed the phone from him and dropped down onto the bed. A few seconds of intense coughing passed before I could say anything. "Hello?" I wheezed into the phone, glancing suspiciously at Axel, who was peeling the oranges and trying to look innocent.

"Hey, Sora, are you all right?" came Riku's voice, a little scratchy over the cheap service.

"Yeah. Just…dust. Lots."

"Ahhh, damn, that sucks. The hotel's no good, then?"

"Cheapest we could get next to the battlefield," I told him. "Apparently that's prime real estate for some reason."

"Fixed outgo," Axel said, and I didn't bother to wonder what that meant.

"Eh. So how's it been otherwise?"

"…Weird."

"It's Zenith," he said, and I chuckled a little.

"Yeah. Axel almost lost me in a poker game," I added, glaring over my shoulder at the redhead, who had his back to me and was whistling as he fumbled with the crackers.

Riku laughed at that. "Sounds like him. I guess that's what Xigbar was talking about."

My stomach made a dive for my shoes.

"…What?"

"He said something about how I'd want to kill Axel into pieces when he got back. I figured he'd gone and done something stupid, and…well, I guess that sounds about right, but it could've been a lot worse."

"Uh-huh…"

"Roxas has been all pissy lately, too." There was a silence on the other end. "Did anything happen between you guys?"

"Uh," I got out, panicking a little. "Uh, no, we…it was just the poker game—"

"Oh no no, I meant you and Roxas. Because you might want to watch out for him when you get back—like I said, he's got a short fuse right now."

"Yeah, I'll…I'll be sure to. And nothing…well, nothing happened between _us_," I said then. "He and A…uh…he's probably not taking the separation from Axel too well."

"That makes sense. Anyway, we're putting in some long hours over at the Service. Nothing physical, we're just doing a lot of research on the Heartless, their impact on Zenith, yadda ya…it's a lot of boring reports and stuff, but Xemnas needs the info to reinforce the case against them."

"Oh," I said a little dazedly, still a little distracted and panicky. "Sounds…interesting."

He was silent for a minute. "What's wrong?" he demanded bluntly.

"Nothing, I'm fine—"

"Don't give me that, you haven't been listening to a word I'm saying. Something's not right. Did something happen to you?"

"No!" I burst out suddenly. "Nothing _happened_! Why do you keep asking that?"

"Because you're my best friend and I care," he said firmly. I fell silent, a little shocked at both myself and at his immediate, assured response. When he finally spoke again, he spoke a little slower, quieter. "I'd trust Axel with my life, and I do that on a regular basis, but you guys are passing through some rough areas. To be honest, I'd feel better if…" He sighed. "The past two days have been tough, Sora."

I groaned inwardly. Of course. I'd always been right there under Riku's wing, so he wasn't used to the idea of me being in any kind of danger without him around. "You're right, I'm sorry. I just…it's been kinda tough for me, too," I told him truthfully.

"So are you gonna tell me what's wrong, or are we gonna go through this again?"

Dammit. Riku's stubborn as an ass—he gets an idea in his head and he'll pursue it to the ends of the earth and back.

I hesitated, glancing at Axel, and took a deep breath. "F-food court."

There was a silence. "Oh. Yeah. We, uh…we'd better stop."

"No, it's not…it's just…I don't know," I got out with a sigh.

"Exactly. I don't either, and it's just…it's not a good idea."

I frowned in frustration. "Riku, that's not…what I'm getting at. What I mean is, do you…do you, um…I mean…"

"No," he said immediately, but not harshly. "Like I said, it's not about you, it's just…you know, it's being a guy. You mean the world to me, Sora, but Kairi…Kairi means a little bit more. You understand?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I…do."

"So what do you want to do about it?"

I wasn't sure what he was asking me for a minute. "Um…I guess we'll talk about it," I said wearily, passing a hand over my eyes. "This…I dunno if we can do this over the phone."

"All right. Just…be careful out there, okay?"

"Sure."

"Talk to you later."

"Bye."

Click.

I turned around to see Axel beaming at me over the countertop. "So?" he asked buoyantly. "Sounded to me like it went pretty well!"

"Oh, fuck it—Axel, we are not in love! Okay? _God_!" I snapped, and stalked over to the other side of the room to sulk. It's tough when you haven't got any doors to slam or anything.

"Well sahr-_ree_. Scuse me for being interested," he huffed faintly.

I barely heard him, dropping onto one of the cushiony chairs by the window and drawing inward a little. Everything was quiet outside, except for the occasional whiz of a pod going by or a thundering crash from the train station, and the cold seemed to radiate off the glass. But it all kind of disappeared behind a blur as I went back over the conversation in my mind.

_Why had it hurt so much…to hear him say that?_

* * *

Author's Note: Eh. Some of the dialogue in here seemed kinda half-assed and cliché, but I'm kinda happy with where we are. Sora might be pushing it just a little…I'll ensure he backs off before I have to do something violent to him. After all, it's time to shift the focus anyway.

And of course Sora's dream about washing a house is obnoxiously symbolic. :P


	12. The Turd Monster and Other Stories

_Swindlegrass Inn  
__Zenithian Battlegrounds  
__Saturday  
__Three fifty-eight a.m._

_Axel is fighting something that came out of the toilet._

_I don't know what it is. I don't even know if they're actually fighting—this is Zenith, they could be playing Monopoly or something. All I really do know is that they're making some very unusual sounds, and fire is involved._

_I have taken refuge under the table next to the window. There's a lot of gum down here. It's also really close to that cockroach's nest or whatever in the ceiling, but compared to whatever Axel's fighting, I'll take the cockroaches._

_I've decided to call it the Turd Monster._

_Also, in the event that the Turd Monster gets through and kills us both, I have taken it upon myself to record our final moments here on this Ajax Weekly order form._

_Axel's screaming really loudly right now. And cursing. I might help, but he locked the door, so I don't think I'll chance it. It smells like something's on fire—I don't think I have to tell you what exactly the "something" is._

_It's quiet now._

_I dunno where Axel's going. I tried to talk to him, but he just screamed some more profanity and stalked out of the room. I think he's going to kill the manager._

And that's where I ran out of room. It worked out, because Axel came right back in after that and flopped down onto the bed. That stirred up a cloud of dust, which made him spring off it and curse. "I'm burning those fucking things to the ground," he promised darkly.

But just then I noticed something, and a chill went through me. "Axel…"

"What?" he snapped.

"Your…your hand…!"

"I know. I'm sort of the one who cauterized it," he added bluntly, holding up the still red stump of what had been his left hand.

I had to do a double take. That…no! That could _not_ be real! But it was, it just _was_, and I felt my heart sink. "That…thing did that?!" I got out hoarsely.

"No, _I_ did that, because it got stuck in the thing and it would've killed me," he said brusquely.

I couldn't tear my eyes from it, and my horror at it kept growing exponentially. "Why…why didn't you let me in? I-I could've…"

"I'll tell you what you can do," he snapped. "Look in our stuff for the packet of squits."

"Of…whats?"

"They'll look like blue and silver pellets to you."

I scurried over to our bags and riffled through them, already thinking what it would be like to go back to the Apex with Axel in this condition. How the hell would he recover? He needed it for his weapons—chakrams, if I remembered right—and besides that, I just plain couldn't imagine what it was like to function with only one hand. What would Roxas do? It might be even harder on him to see Axel in pain…

"Could you hurry up? We've gotta get out of here. I'm not sticking around another minute if I can help it."

"Here," I said, rushing to his side with it and opening it for him. He took a few pellets out and sprinkled them straight onto the stump.

And something happened that I could not explain.

Right before my eyes, I saw bones grow out of the blackened flesh—bones that branched outward into a hand, as tendons and blood vessels slithered up and around them and a blanket of skin followed behind. Fingernails slid out into existence as ridges deepened around the knuckles, and when it was over, Axel flexed his fingers familiarly. The only evidence that it had ever been gone was a faint circle of ash around his wrist. "You look surprised," he gloated, his eyes glittering.

"You could have…told me," I said, feeling a sudden inclination to cry or something—though if it was out of relief or at Axel's little joke I didn't know.

"I would've hated to kill the suspense," he said with a smirk.

I didn't say anything else. I was almost too relieved to care, but at the same time too hurt to keep from caring. Gingerly, like it would fall to ashes in a minute, I took his reformed hand in mine and ran a thumb along the knuckles.

"I'm okay, Sora," he said gently. And just to prove it, he ruffled my hair with it and stood. "So. We'd better get the hell out of here."

So we set about getting our stuff together, and I took a second to check out the devastation in the bathroom. The door hung ajar, broken at the top hinge from Axel kicking it open, and the floor was covered in things best not described. The toilet itself had gotten cleaved completely in half. I could even see the inside of the half that was still standing. There was no sign of the Turd Monster, if that had indeed been what Axel was fighting, but there were a few blackened, smoking lumps sitting along the walls.

"You still could've let me help," I told him.

"There was no room. Let it go." Axel looked thoughtfully at his hand. "It's a small thing to lose, Sora, compared to what I would have if I let you in there."

I looked up at him in surprise, but he was already heading for the door. "The manager has kindly agreed to give us a refund. I say we go spend it on a shower somewhere—I smell like a sewer."

"What the hell was that thing?" I wanted to know as I caught up with him. "A Heartless?"

"Mulch Heartless. Big one," Axel grunted.

"But what _was_ it?"

He shot me a steely glare. "Think about it. 'Kay?"

"Where did it come from, then?"

"From out of the toilet."

"I know _that_, I mean…how?"

He considered that, as though trying to choose the gentlest explanation. "Their kind accumulates," he said finally.

"…Oh."

Suddenly Axel snapped his fingers. "I forgot! Hold these, would you?" he said, shoving a few bags into my arms. I opened my mouth to protest, but then he was gone, streaking back towards the rooms with one bag beating against his hip as he ran. Tottering in his direction, I grunted and set down a couple of things—only for him to come back out to collect them. His eyes were bright and he was smiling like he couldn't control it. "Okay. Let's go."

"Wait, what did you—?"

"Don't worry, I called them already!" he said, and then he was gone again. I rushed back to the room, my heart pounding in my ears. What the hell had he done?

I skidded to a stop and stared for several moments, not quite daring to breathe. Then, slowly at first, I started to chuckle, until I was clutching the railing and practically sobbing with laughter. "The beds…" I got out, gasping for breath. "The…the fucking beds are on _fi_—" and then it broke straight off into guffaws.

* * *

I was still breaking into a storm of snickers now and again about five hours later at the entrance to the Zenithian Battlegrounds. Somehow, the fact that he _actually did it_ was far funnier than the beds themselves being on fire.

"Cut it out," Axel said, bopping me in the head, but he couldn't hide his little self-satisfied smirk.

"But you…you said you called them, right?" I managed, still smiling broadly.

"Yeah. I dialed the manager and screamed, _OH FUCK! FIRE!_ And then I left the phone off the hook so he could listen to it."

I was laughing almost too hard to hear the last part, and though I tried to care about the manager and feel bad for his loss, it was _really_ hard to after Axel'd fought a giant turd in their bathroom.

"There's probably a Naiad around who can fix it," he said when I'd calmed down.

"And if there's not?" I asked, my voice still quavering a little with suppressed laughter.

He just smirked slyly.

We were headed for the terminal that would let us through to the battlefield, which would take us approximately four to five days to cross. And that was only after enough people signed up to warrant a caravan. "We take vehicles and travel in a pack," Axel explained. "That way the people on both sides know not to attack us, just in case we stumble across one another."

"How many?" came the question from the man at the signup station. He was a Lampade who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here, and turned myopic brown eyes on us.

"Two," Axel said promptly.

"Then you'll have to wait for the next caravan."

Axel had not counted on that. "What? They—there's only one opening?" he stuttered, appalled. "It takes at least a day just to get together another caravan! I don't have time to wait for all that!"

"I'm sorry, sir," the Lampade said, shrugging. "Unless you could be persuaded to part with your friend there, you're not going to be able to get through."

"How many to a caravan?"

"Twelve."

Axel cursed. "_Twelve_? They'd never even notice him! He's small enough!"

The Lampade shrugged again, spreading his hands helplessly. "I can't help you."

"Listen, buddy…" And Axel leaned forward, muttering in a low voice and fingering several gold coins suggestively. But the answer was no, no, no, no, _no_, which quickly got him infuriated. "Dammit!" he exploded as he walked away from the counter, running his hands through his hair. "There's no telling how damned long it will take before the next caravan goes through!"

I frowned. "It seems like more than just twelve people a day would be interested in getting to peach and anywhere else over there."

"I wouldn't know, since I've never had to go over there before. But it's supposed to be a lot easier to get through, normally. They've got it all locked up and exclusive because it's a war zone," he added, growling. "Fighting for no goddam reason, the idiots…"

"Scuse me," came a voice behind us, and we both turned to see a Phoenix approaching. It was weird to see someone else with fur—I couldn't remember encountering a Phoenix besides Axel before. This one had blond hair that fell to the nape of his neck, and his dark eyes glittered speculatively. "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation with the shadow, and it sounds like you're in a bit of trouble."

"Hey," Axel said sharply, "I've got a good friend who's a Lampade. I don't tolerate that racist crap."

"Sorry. Habit," the other Phoenix said lightly. "No offense meant."

"S'okay. So how does our trouble concern you?" Axel wanted to know, his eyebrows arched with suspicion.

"It so happens that I know this place very well," the blond explained. "I have relatives in cherry, so I'm always passing through. My name's Dlaxidan, by the way," he added, extending a hand to Axel. "Call me Dlax."

"Axel," the Phoenix said in turn, taking it. "Back there is Sora. He's a Cyborg," he added immediately as Dlax gave me an odd look.

"He doesn't have any scars," Dlax murmured before he could stop himself, and then shot me an apologetic look.

"Yeah he does," Axel said maybe a little too quickly. "They're in places where the sun don't shine."

I blushed brightly and gave him an incredulous look. The poker thing had been bad enough. Was he gonna make decisions like this all the time?

"Can we trust you?" Axel asked bluntly, but there was something funny in his eye.

"Of course," Dlax promised smoothly, waving a dismissive hand. "I'm going on this caravan as well, and since you're too conspicuous, we'll have to try to smuggle Sora through."

Somehow hearing him say my name made me squirm a little. I just didn't get a good feeling from the guy, and I glanced at Axel to see if he was picking up on it, or if it was just me. I suddenly and inexplicably wished Riku were there.

"Sounds good," Axel said simply. "I'm not exactly familiar with this place. How do you figure we do this?"

"Caravans travel by car, generally," Dlax began, "but you can also rent out motorbikes, if you so desire."

"Sweet. They're cheaper?"

"Evidently, and far easier to get ahold of. I already have a car reserved. It seats four, but it's mostly for luggage. We could slip you in ahead of time," he said, addressing me, "and switch out later on the road. How does that sound?"

"They don't check the vehicles?" I asked.

"No. They've already gone through the luggage, and they figure there's no point doing it after that."

"What about the rule of logic? What's to stop them from figuring it out?" Axel wanted to know.

"The rule of mess," Dlax said slyly, holding up a finger. "Press them first, and they'll be presented with too many possibilities. And if all else fails, there's always the rule of thumb."

The redhead rubbed his chin, glancing at me. I could tell by his expression that he judged it was a pretty good idea, and it was sounding like that to me, too—but I just couldn't bring myself to trust Dlax somehow. "And just where are the vehicles?" I asked a little tightly. "And how do they get them out of there?"

"They're in the garage out past the mess hall," he said, nodding to our left. "And they always send the caravan out to collect them. It'll be dark at first, so as long as you keep a low profile, no one will be able to see you."

I couldn't come up with a problem anywhere in that, so I looked at Axel helplessly. "Let us consult," he said to Dlax, taking me by the shoulder and steering me away.

"I don't trust him," I said the minute we were out of earshot.

"Me neither. He's up to something," Axel said distrustfully, but didn't chance a glance behind him. "The thing is, though, we've got to get through that battlefield. We've still got a deadline to meet, and we'll want to have the Organization back together long before we have to. Whatever Dlax wants, I'm not getting the sense that he's going to pull something right now."

I nodded hesitantly. "So you think we should go through with it?"

"I think, all things considered, we haven't got a choice. The minute we get Larxene is the minute I'm gonna be worried about Marluxia, and we can't afford to put anything off."

"Okay."

"I won't be far. If anything happens…you know what? Here," he said, handing me something small and silver that was shaped something like a canoe. "Comlink. It's kind of like the flares at the Service, only more advanced," he explained. "You press your thumb to the center there and everyone who's got one will be able to hear you."

"And who's got one?" I wanted to know.

"Everyone from Nada Apex."

I blinked at it, then looked up at Axel in surprise. They could _not_ be that stupid. "So why didn't you just contact Marluxia and them through these?" I wanted to know, suddenly angry after all the time we'd wasted—!

He chuckled. "Don't you think that was the first thing Demyx tried? They left them all behind, Sora. Nobody was thinking we'd get back together, and I think we were all so sick of each other that we didn't care if we never saw one another again." He smirked. "It's kinda funny. We were at each other's throats, but the moment we split up, Saix and Xigbar and I were best buds."

I waited patiently for him to come back out of the nostalgia, which he did, and shook his head to clear it.

"Anyway. That one belonged to…I mean, it's an extr…" He sighed. "That one was Xurik's," he said finally.

"Oh," I murmured, unconsciously clutching it a little closer, but being careful not to put my thumb on the center.

He turned back to Dlax and beckoned him over. "We're in," he said, and I quickly shoved the comlink in my pocket. I especially didn't want Dlax knowing about it if things got hairy.

"Splendid," the blond said brightly. "In that case, Axel, you should probably go ahead and sign up. I can show Sora where the garage is, but we've still got an hour or so before the caravan leaves."

"Actually," Axel said just as I opened my mouth to object, "I'd kind of prefer it if we stayed together on this one."

Dlax blinked at him innocently. "I'm only trying to be efficient."

"I know. And I appreciate it, because efficiency is what we're after. But," he said, and suddenly put an arm tightly about my shoulders; "Let's just say _this_ cargo is very important to me. Capiche?"

At that, the other Phoenix nodded once in understanding, and I tried very hard not to murder anyone.

"We'll do it your way, then," Dlax said. "And I suppose it would look suspicious if he disappeared around the time you signed up anyway."

Dlax went with us up to the signup station, mostly to help Axel through the system. I loitered around, watching the people while Axel bickered with the Lampade at the desk. There was a blond Sylph in a red dress seated on a couch nearby, applying lipstick that didn't quite match the dress. She reminded me a bit of Kairi, but it looked like she was taller. Someone came and sat down beside her—someone dressed in black—and at the same time a group of rowdy young Phoenixes passed in front of me.

And she was gone.

I looked around for a minute, blinking insensibly—but the stranger in black was still seated right there, surveying the area through pitch-black sunglasses. He had one arm stretched around the place where she'd been sitting, but there was just no sign of her.

"Axel," I got out finally.

"What? What's wrong?" he demanded, immediately concerned.

"That…that girl just now. I think…I think brandy, um, happened," I told him, not willing to tear my eyes from the place where she'd been sitting.

And then, incredibly, she came walking right back from the water fountain. She pecked the man on the cheek and they stood, arm in arm, and she was walking away from me…

A sudden sense of desperation seized me. "Kairi!" I shouted, shockingly loud, and several people turned to stare.

She'd heard, too, and both she and the stranger turned, blinking at us perplexedly. And then it wasn't her—it didn't look like Kairi at all, and I couldn't figure out what made me think it was her in the first place. She seemed to know this, and she smiled forgivingly, then turned to part from me. It was almost like how Kairi had, but where something had resonated in both of us back then, I didn't make a connection with this girl. Maybe we hadn't had one, I thought, but that didn't make any sense, what would make me do that…

"Sora? You okay?"

The voice was Axel's, and both he and Dlax were turned to me in concern. "I…yeah, I'm fine," I said, a little surprised to see genuine worry in Dlax's eyes. "Just…Zenith, you know," I mumbled.

Axel clearly _didn't_ know, but he elected to cover for me. "Probably just those oranges from earlier," he said loudly, putting an arm around my shoulders to steer me away from the crowd, who was still watching us curiously. "I told you they were no good."

"The Lampade's watching us," Dlax whispered from Axel's other side. "Look abandoned," he said to me.

Axel dropped his arm just as I dropped my shoulders, shuffling dejectedly to one of the benches by the door. I flopped down onto it, and Axel leaned down in front of me, pretending to be consoling. "Dlax and I'll take the luggage over to the motorbike," he said. "I got us a passenger car for it. Then he'll come back for you, but he'll just call for you—we don't want the Lampade catching sight of him."

I nodded, pouting.

"Okay. See you later," he said, and then leaned down by my ear. "You'll probably only be a few minutes with him," he whispered. "Try to keep it together if he starts screwing things up."

"Gotcha," I said, but I was a little annoyed that he felt like he had to tell me that.

Then he withdrew, patting me solidly on the arm in farewell, and he and Dlax disappeared through the passageway to the garage. I remained on the bench, knowing I still had an audience. It occurred to me to fake some tears, but I thought that'd be pushing it—even if Dlax thought we were a couple, I didn't think the Lampade had gotten that impression. I glanced at him, but he was working with what looked like four Cyborgs, so I relaxed a little.

In no time I heard Dlax whisper my name, and shot a quick glance around to make sure I wasn't being watched. There was only an old man in the corner, but his eyes were glazed over and I figured I could make it. Careful not to move too quickly or too slowly, I got up and swiveled right around the doorframe and into the corridor.

"Down there," Dlax said, indicating the stairs off to one side. "There are guards patrolling ahead to protect the valuables, so I'll come get you through a back way."

"Where's Axel?"

"Signing the release forms for the motorbike. It'll be a while."

I nodded once and started down, glancing behind me in case Dlax was still there—but he darted off the minute I was on my way. I didn't know why I got the feeling he had been about to knock me down the stairs.

The stairs led straight down into a very dimly lit room, where some old, rusted lockers hung open and a few doors had rotted off their hinges. I wasn't sure exactly where Dlax would be coming in, so I made myself scarce and watched the stairs in case a guard came down. One I could handle, I thought, even if it would mean questions later—it was two or three I was worried about. It'd be one thing if they weren't all trained in various elements, but the inhabitants of Zenith tended to be that way.

After a dark eternity of waiting and listening to the drip of oil or something from the ceiling and shifting uncomfortably as the sounds went straight to my bladder, I felt something twitch at my side and nearly jumped out of my skin. "Shhh," Dlax said, and I realized he was behind a metal grate that seemed to be protecting a ventilation shaft. "Help me with this," he whispered, and the two of us got to work loosening some of the bolts. We didn't speak—there was no real need for words, only for haste, and I don't know what I would've said to him anyhow.

Once we had it open about halfway, Dlax turned the grate red hot and curled it over to one side. He shifted back so I could get in.

"Guah! _Shit_!" I let out sharply as my lower leg grazed the still glowing metal, and I heard my flesh pop warningly.

"Eh—sorry," Dlax murmured. "Here. Axel lent me some squits," he said, sprinkling some out onto his hand. It was shaking a little as he pressed them to my skin, and I watched the angry-red crosshatch of burns fade away. It still stung for a while after that, though.

"Follow me," he ordered, and started along the shaft on his hands and knees. That made me feel a little better—I was half afraid he wanted me to go first, and I just wasn't comfortable having him behind me.

We kept going along the shaft for a while before it stopped and abruptly turned upward. Dlax turned over on his back to manage it, pulling himself into a sitting position and gingerly standing. He turned, grabbing onto something above, and boosted himself up onto another level. "C'mon. It looks clear," he said.

I squirmed and scrambled after him—I'm not very good with tight spaces, but Dlax moved like a snake in there, even though he was taller than me. He was probably about Axel's height, I reflected, but it's hard to tell with that hair.

Axel was waiting for us at the grate, which had already been completely removed and sat smoking by a pile of rags. He held out a hand for me, and I took it gratefully, still feeling funny all over from whatever the shaft was made out of.

"Oh shit, here come the guards," he said the minute I was on my feet.

"Stall 'em!" Dlax commanded sharply, and then he seized my hand and took off. I glanced over my shoulder at Axel, only to discover that the guards had brushed right by him and were moving for the vehicles. They couldn't see us just yet, but they'd be close enough to hear us soon.

"Dlax," I whispered hoarsely, fighting to be heard. "They're heading this way! We've gotta try something else!"

He nodded shortly and changed trajectory to head towards the back. I was trying to pull abreast of him, but he was too fast for that, so I just tried not to trip. We came to a stop at the corner and ducked behind an old wooden desk of some sort—it had a hole for pencils or something, but it also had some oddly shaped ones for implements that didn't really look like tools. Dlax still hadn't let go of my hand by that time, and I yanked it away a little harshly.

The blond made a disappointed little sound at that. "Am I so untrustworthy?" he asked, turning to blink innocently at me.

"Let's just keep our distance," I said icily.

The guards were leaving now, and Axel was heading in our direction, cycling his arms wildly and mouthing, 'Go! Go! _Go_!'

"They'll probably be sending more in," Dlax realized, and we moved for his car again. He didn't grab my hand that time, thankfully, and we quickly came to a stop at a bright orange Mercedes. I was a little scared to ask where he'd found an orange Mercedes, but I didn't really get the chance anyway, since there were more guards coming back and I had to duck down behind the trunk. Dlax fumbled with the keys and finally yanked the back door open, ushering me inside. Maybe it was my imagination, but it seemed like his hand lingered on my thigh a little longer than it should have. Then he was gone, the door slamming behind him, and I was quick to wedge myself in with the rest of the luggage.

I watched as Dlax walked smoothly up to collect Axel, who was clearly still trying to waylay the guards. They moved for the vehicles just as the lights clicked on and ten other people came through—a ragtag mix of Cyborgs, Jotuns, Dopplegangers, and a few other races I couldn't put a name to.

Dlax came back to the car and settled into the driver's seat while Axel leaned over nearby, pretending to chat with him. "You okay back there?" he asked me, squinting a little to find me among the colorful assortment that littered Dlax's backseat.

"Yeah."

"Okay. We'll switch over on up the road, once we hit the first rest stop," he explained.

"Sounds good."

"See you later, then," he said, half to me and half to Dlax, who waved and pulled the door shut. The garage door opened ahead of us, and I leaned forward a little to get a glimpse of the battlefield.

I was disappointed. It looked like any old highway out in the middle of nowhere, with expanses of desert on either side. There weren't any roads above it, obviously, or any signs to speak of—it was just a four-lane road that went on and on and on.

A crackle of static rang out next to the steering wheel, making me jump a little. "System check—Number Two, this is Number One, do you copy? Over."

Dlax leaned forward to press a button. "This is Number Two, I read you loud and clear. Over."

Number One went on to cycle through the rest of the group, omitting a few since there were a few families and couples in the mix. Somehow it didn't surprise me that Axel ended up as Number Eight.

Once they were sure all the radios were working, they finally gave the signal to start, and the vehicles—two motorbikes, five cars—headed on out into the road. It looked like a straight shot from here all the way to peach, but the entrance behind us took forever to disappear into the distance. I dozed a little in the heat, making some lovely red designs on my face with Dlax's luggage, and finally just watched the road. Axel was staying pretty close to us, his hair exploding out from under his helmet and rippling in the wind. He was also being a little daring now and again, probably just to break up the monotony, and I watched him with rapt attention. Not only was it interesting, there wasn't anything to do besides.

"So where're you from?" Dlax asked after a long discussion with Number One about positions.

"Dest—uh. Plum," I said quickly.

"Really? Plum seems a little backwater for a Cyborg," he said conversationally.

I mumbled something indistinct.

"What was that?"

"Orphaned," I said, unable to think of anything else. While Axel had given me an identity, he'd sort of neglected the backstory to go with it, and I wished we'd had more time to concoct one.

Dlax clicked his tongue sympathetically. "Pity. And how is the Orphan Division back there?"

"Oh. Um. Good."

He smirked at me in the rearview mirror. "You're a terrible liar."

"Yep."

"For starters, a Cyborg can't be orphaned because a Cyborg has no parents in the first place. Secondly, it's impossible for Cyborgs to even live in plum due to the significant lack of oil stations. And thirdly, plum has no Orphan Division to begin with." His eyes glimmered. "You're not a Cyborg, but you don't smell like a human. So why is Axel so intent on keeping you a secret, I wonder?"

I shrugged and settled back into the luggage, suddenly at ease. "You're not gonna get anything out of me. I don't know, myself."

"Then he obviously hasn't seen fit to entrust you with that information. Well—maybe it's no big deal, but if it were me, I'd be a little vexed."

I smirked. This old game echoes on every silver screen the world over—the baddie tells some gullible guy not to trust his companion, and ultimately breaks the two apart for his own reasons. "I'm actually not concerned about it. The sooner we get to peach, the sooner we get back, and I've got some things I need to sort out back home." Translation: Your Jedi mind tricks won't work on me.

Dlax nodded. "So do I." He shifted a little in the seat, getting more comfortable, and let out a casual sigh. "I have a close friend in pear, and we've been very, very naughty together. It's nothing serious, as far as he's concerned, but I'm not so sure…"

My blood ran cold. _Does he know about that?!_ It seemed too close for a coincidence. But how could he… _The rules!_ I had completely forgotten about the rules! I could've given him all sorts of information with just a few misplaced words—and that was supposed to be absurd, but not in Zenith. _How much does he know?_ I asked his eyes in the rearview, feeling my heart pounding in my chest.

"How long have you and Axel been together?" he asked smoothly, returning his eyes to the road.

It took me a minute to get up the nerve to speak again. "Uh. About a month," I said, trying to remember how long ago we'd met Roxas.

"Did I mention you're a terrible liar?"

"You did."

"It bears repeating, then. That's a relief, though."

I looked at him sharply, but just then a crackle of static went through the speakers. "This is Number One, first rest stop coming up on the right. Over."

Silence.

"I guess it's time for the switch, then," Dlax said mildly.

I was never so happy to see Axel. I ducked under his arm without hesitation, wrapping an arm around his waist and steering him back towards the motorbike. "Just keep walking," I murmured when he started to protest.

"It'll look bad if I don't thank him."

"He doesn't care. I promise."

"What the hell happened?"

"Why do you people always think something's _happened_?"

"Because you're practically bleeding trauma from the ears." Axel stopped short and put his hands on my shoulders, bending down to my level. "Sora, I'm serious—if he hurt you—"

"_I_ am not Roxas, okay?!" I exploded suddenly. "So stop treating me like I'll break into pieces!"

He withdrew at that, stunned. Putting one hand on his hip, he rested the other over his eyes and sighed deeply. "Can't I care about someone without loving them?"

I bit my lip at that. "I…I'm sorry, Axel, I just…"

"I know. It's been stressful for both of us." He let his arm drop to his side, and suddenly looked a lot more exhausted. "We'd better get lunch ready. And I want to know all about what went on in that car—not because I'm worried," he added as I started to protest, "even though I am and that's part of it—but because if it affects what we're doing out here, I need to know."

I summarized the exchange while we ate, leaving out the part about Dlax's "friend," but Axel was almost infuriatingly unconcerned about it. "I can't think of anything we're doing that could possibly interest him," he said, shrugging. "We're passing through to grab up some people who probably don't want grabbing up. There's nothing in it for him."

"Then why didn't you tell him I'm a human?"

Axel sighed, passing a hand over his eyes. "Because…well, because Ph—"

"Number Eight."

He looked up sharply and I followed his gaze, heart sinking as I realized the Jotun who approached us must have been Number One. "Yeah?" Axel said guardedly.

"I've been making a count, and I can't help noticing that we seem to have one extra," Number One said, indicating me. "Care to explain?"

"Nope. It should be pretty obvious. Noxe, right?" Axel replied, relaxing. "Long time since the Exchange, huh?"

Number One squinted closer at him. "Axel?" he said finally, perplexed. "I don't remember seeing you at orientation…"

"Busy buying stuff. We got in last minute," the redhead explained. "So are you gonna send us all the way back? C'mon."

Noxe hesitated, glanced at me, started to say something, and finally sighed. "Just…don't let it happen again. I'll tell the others that this one has a health condition and you're along as a supervisor."

"You're the best, Noxe!"

The black-haired Jotun grumbled something in response and started towards the solitary Lynx standing by her motorbike.

"I'm guessing you two knew each other?" I surmised.

"Yeah. He was at one of the Exchanges, must've been…two? Three years ago," Axel said with a nod. "Ajax Apex. Weird running into him out here—maybe he's headed for Ever…"

I let Axel muse to himself about distances while I tried to remember what we'd been discussing. Hadn't he been about to say something important? Oh, well. _This isn't the first time I've forgotten something special,_ I thought bitterly.

* * *

Author's Note: Oh, boy. Axel's too much fun. And props to you if you've already figured out who Dlaxidan's other is—not that I've been obvious about it, and he's going to act a little different just on principle, so yeah.

I've decided that two weeks is just too long to wait, especially since school's finally out and this one's plot bunny has been popping like a firecracker, so I'm gonna give us another thirteen days until chapter thirteen (just for continuity) and then chop it down to a weekly or biweekly basis. I'm working on chapter nineteen as we speak, so hopefully I'll be able to keep ahead of you. Oh—and I'm thinking about giving the chapters names, since it's getting kinda long and if you're looking for a specific chapter I want you to find it, but I'm afraid that'll only cause more confusion, so thoughts on that?


	13. Everything That Can Go Wrong

We spent that day out on the road, stopping to eat and pitch tents, and I found myself torn between Dlax and Axel for least desirable riding partner. Dlax was oily and secretive, sure, but at least he didn't pop wheelies at fifty miles per hour.

Axel, on the other hand, did, and I had no choice but to cling to him and listen to him chuckle whenever I squeaked in terror. I'm not nearly as afraid of being thrown from a vehicle as I am of falling, but sometimes it felt like the opposite. Also, Axel can't seem to stick to one speed—it's like he gets bored if he has to spend one more millisecond going thirty, so he bumps it to sixty for a while, then forty, then ninety…

"We're making good time," he said brightly at breakfast the next morning. "We should be there in about another couple days or so, if everything goes well."

"Assuming it does," I said glumly. I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the night before, and I was really starting to get saddle sores from the motorbike, so this smidgeon of good news wasn't quite enough to raise my spirits. "Murphy's Law, you know."

Axel stopped short. "Murphy's Law?"

"Everything that _can_ go wrong, _will_."

He frowned. "And this…this is one of the rules in your world?"

"Some people think so," I said detachedly, watching one of the children play in the grass as their parents packed up the tent. The battlefield was getting more and more lush the farther we went, it seemed—I'd even seen trees following the stretch of road from time to time.

The Phoenix beside me suddenly got up and began to pace. "Well is it a rule or isn't it?" he demanded irritably.

I snapped to attention at that. "Uh…no," I said, confused. "I mean, it's just something some people think, and sometimes it seems true. A theory, kind of."

He balked. "A _theory_?"

I sighed. Axel _would_ take this the wrong way. "It's nothing to worry about."

Running a hand through his hair, he let out a stream of curses and moved to sit by our stuff and riffle through some papers.

I let it go, turning my attentions back to the caravan around us. It was still so odd to see these people on a regular basis—particularly the way the world worked around us. Things would appear and disappear, and I'd even seen a hanger crop up once when a child dropped a ball on her plate. Because the resulting blue whale probably would've done unspeakable things to my psyche, I left it alone after that.

"Mundane, isn't it?" came a voice at my side, and I looked up just as Dlax sat down beside me. "Funny how the world isn't all that interesting, even out here in the midst of battle."

I blinked. "Uh…yeah. It's dull," I said hesitantly, eyes wandering over to the Lynx by the motorbike. She'd been sitting there for some time without moving, her eyes closed, and I couldn't tell if she was breathing or not.

"Phoenixes have a spark," Dlax continued airily, leaning back. "We must have adventure, excitement—danger. But you're clearly not one of those…"

He ran a hand down my arm, which made me jump a little in surprise. "I have a theory," he said then.

"Really?" I said, shifting away a bit and trying to make it look natural. "Axel doesn't seem to like those."

The blond smiled at that, and something about the way his eyelids hung heavily over his eyes made me uncomfortable. "I suspect," he said, "that you tried to duck out of the chicken festival. They would've confiscated your…distinctions, and the lasting trauma could easily have erased the better part of your memory, which is why you're so unfamiliar with Zenith. Have I about got it?"

I smirked. "Maybe. Then again, maybe not. You like excitement, right? How about a little mystery?"

Dlax raised his eyebrows at that. "I can't refuse it. In that case, I assume you won't tell me what you are?"

"Nope."

"I'll have to figure it out myself, then," he said ruminatively. And suddenly he seized my arm in a viselike grip. "And what if," he almost purred, "I was willing to harm you to get at it?"

"I figured it out!"

Dlax immediately let go and drew away, and we both looked up just as Axel turned to us. His eyes landed on Dlax and narrowed, and he rose suddenly, his arms spread a little at his sides to make him look larger than he really was. "Some other time," Dlax murmured to me, and darted out of sight.

"What did _he_ want?" Axel demanded, making his way back over to me.

"We were just talking," I said defensively, although my arm still hurt a bit and my heart was beating rapidly.

"At that kind of distance?"

"What are you getting at?" I asked sharply. "I thought you said he was no big deal."

"He _isn't_, but…" Axel glared in the direction Dlax had disappeared. "Stay away from him, okay? I don't trust him."

"I don't either, but he doesn't know anything. He's only guessing."

"Good reason to keep it that way."

I fumed. "Look, I'll avoid him, all right? I've _been_ avoiding him. And for your information, I can take care of myself. Are we gonna have this argument again?"

He glared at me for a moment, and then his gaze softened a bit with thought. "Fine. If you think you can handle it, _be my guest_. Just do me a favor and try not to get killed or something stupid."

"Thanks, I will."

Rolling his eyes, he sighed heavily and yanked out a paper he'd been scribbling over. "Anyway," he continued in an exhausted tone that sent a pang of guilt through me, "I figured out that stupid rule of yours. Because you're here, it's not too much to imagine your world's rules might take place through you—but Murphy's Law in particular clashes with the rule of thumb."

"Which is?"

"Every exception is the same. Generally speaking," he said.

"I have a feeling I'm going to commit brain cell genocide if I try to figure out what that means."

"Okay." Axel waved the paper and sat down. "Murphy's Law says everything that can go wrong will go wrong—but the rule of thumb classifies all exceptions as the same, which means that in Murphy's case, an exception is the same thing as all other things under the blanket of the rule. _Which means_," he added with all the fire and passion of a Nobel Prize-winning astrophysicist, "_every_ case of Murphy's Law is an exception, and so the cases that are _not_ exceptions will go off without a hitch. It can't touch us." He sat back, looking pleased with himself.

I blinked insensibly at him. "Uh. Okay. I didn't understand any of that, but I'll take your word for it."

He looked crestfallen. "Damn…how far do I have to break it down? Okay, look—"

"No no, don't worry about it," I said with a sigh. "I get the gist of it, and Noxe is probably about to round us up anyway." And I knew it'd be next to impossible to talk on the motorbike.

Sure enough, Noxe was, and I winced a little as we got back on the bike. It was _not_ comfortable to spend five-hour stretches on those things.

We'd been going for maybe an hour or so when Axel shifted sharply to the right. I let out a cry of surprise, almost letting go of him, and shouted above the motor. "What the hell was that?"  
He shook his head in response—getting hair in my face, which was _helpful_—and slowed a bit. Noxe's voice crackled over the intercom. "This is Number One, all caravan members be forewarned, we have confirmed a sighting of—"

"Stop!" came a high-pitched voice, cutting him off and startling me a little, since it echoed off to my left where the Lynx was riding. "Stop! STOP NOW! _STOP_!"

I felt the motorbike slow under me, and then suddenly come to a shuddering halt. Time slowed, the nose dipped down—this can't be happening, I thought—we tumbled over the side, Axel's face smashing into the wheel with a spray of blood, and suddenly I was flying or falling, I couldn't tell which—BAM. It wasn't real, it just wasn't…and then it was, and pain, and the screech of wheels as everything came to a stop around us. I coughed once and trembled, even lying there just _hurt_—and felt a touch at my shoulder.

"Anything broken, mate?"

It was the Lynx. I tried to say something—I was hurt, but someone else was in much worse shape. "Ax…!" I choked out, feeling blood well up in the back of my throat. The taste scared me. Had something internal gotten smashed?

"Sora!" came Dlax's voice this time, and he bent beside me, his face blurring in and out of focus above. "Oh, no…how long?" he asked the Lynx.

"It ain't horrible. He's got a couple hours yet."

A couple hours before what?

"Noxe! Somebody get Noxe over here!" Dlax called, his voice distorted with anxiety.

"Zip it!" the Lynx said sharply, shaking her head. "That Phoenix's havin' a bloody rough time of it. We're gonna lose him if we ain't careful." She looked down at me a moment with those bright orange eyes, blue hair hanging about her face, and then gently touched my cheek and moved on to Axel's side.

"You stay with me," Dlax said, taking one of my hands and watching me with wide, scared eyes. "Stay with me, okay?"

_Stay with me, Sora…_

Where had I heard that before? I tried to remember—but the moment I stopped focusing on the present, the darkness took me, and I didn't feel.

* * *

I must not've been out for long, because when I came around, Dlax was still there and I was still lying on the ground not far from the motorbike. Noxe glanced down at me, nodded, and quickly moved on to the next most injured. "How do you feel?" Dlax wanted to know, offering a ginger hand as I sat up and rubbed my head.

"…Fine. I think. How's Axel?" I asked, looking around in a sudden panic as I remembered what'd happened to him.

"Dandy," the redhead said from behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder and sinking down on the ground next to me. "Jotuns are good like that."

I studied his face a moment, like I expected to see some huge disfiguring scar, but he looked the same as he had that morning. I breathed a sigh of relief. "We could probably use more of you guys back in our world," I told him in an undertone as Dlax got up and went to talk with Noxe. "Stuff like that messes up lives for good over there."

"Don't I know it," Axel murmured bitterly. "But that's the thing. We can't go too far from Destiny Islands without violating the rule of fruit, and squits get distorted in transit. They start, um…well, you have a couple extra heads by the time they're done with you," he said with a grimace.

"What's the rule of fruit, then? There might be a loophole," I suggested with a shrug.

"Don't go too far from Destiny Islands."

I frowned at the ground. "So how did Roxas get those three from Twilight Town?" I wanted to know. "Assuming that's where they're from—they looked it."

He shrugged. "Didn't think to ask. I imagine he met them in Destiny Islands, though—he said he brought them through a printer, and they'd all end up very different if he did it far from the portal to here."

"Different how?"

"Remember what I said about the heads? The opposite of that."

"Well, it looks like we're a little stuck," Dlax informed us as he came back to flop down next to us. "Noxe says some scouts spotted a regiment of Cyborgs in the area, and now all our engines are dead. Who do you think we should blame?"

Axel growled at that. "Which side were they on?"

"Depends. Which side are _you_ on?"

"The right side."

"They were on the wrong one, then."

The redhead sighed heavily. "_Why_ are they going after civilians? Isn't it enough that Ansem and his lackeys're out grabbing Servicemen in broad daylight?"

Dlax shrugged. "There's a possibility they're trying to cut off our supplies from peach and cherry," he said. "But only a few of those come through here. Most of them go around."

"That takes _ages_."

"Yeah, but it's the only way to ensure they aren't attacked."

Axel grunted. "So what'd Noxe say about traveling?"

"Take what you can carry," Dlax said, looking a little uncomfortable. "If we lock up the cars and such, they probably won't be along to steal anything, and the people at the Entrance will pick them up."

"That sucks. I'll keep this in mind the next time I wanna cross a war zone for a vacation," Axel said, and got to his feet with a little difficulty.

"You okay?" I asked him, feeling a little unsteady myself as he helped me up.

"Yeah. This'll wear off. It's still stinging like a bitch, though," he said, frowning and rubbing at his forehead.

Since the two of us hadn't had much to begin with, we were able to walk away with everything, but most of our compatriots weren't so lucky. Dlax was laden down with things he just couldn't bring himself to leave behind—mostly suitcases that looked overstuffed with a lot of hard, pointy things—as were the family of Dopplegangers and one other guy with dusty brown skin and dun-colored hair. Noxe, on the other hand, left practically everything behind, and he and the Lynx walked ahead with nothing more than a backpack apiece.

We were only walking for about five minutes when the crying started. "I wanna go home!" one of the kids wailed, tugging on his mother's arm.

"I want my dolly!" another one shrilled.

Axel groaned as a couple of them started to bawl. "Never having kids," he imparted to me, shaking his head.

I grinned. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Whiners, all of 'em," he complained, shooting one of them a glare to shut him up. The kid started to scream out sobs and he rolled his eyes. "I dunno how these people stand it."

"I wonder how Roxas feels about it," I said lightly, and he shot me a dark look.

"If he thinks for one minute I'm gonna put up with a brat like _that_," he began, jabbing a thumb at the kid, "Roxas is gonna learn how to change his mind. We'll probably split up long before it happens, anyway."

I looked away at that, sighing.

"Something the matter?"

"No, just…" I shrugged. "It's just that this place seems so…so…" Frowning, I groped for a word like one would just pop out of the air.

"Weird?"

"No. Well, yes, but that's not what I meant. Translucent…no—transient, that's it," I said finally. "It's like, things keep changing before I have a chance to get used to them."

"Well, traveling's got to be part of that."

"Yeah, but…I mean, how you and Roxas suddenly got together, and how all of a sudden the whole Apex is getting back together, and we keep meeting all these new people who disappear back to Nada before I get to really know them."

"You know whose fault it is, don't you?"

I blinked, and he smirked at me.

"None of this was happening before you showed up, you know," he explained. "I never would've met Roxas if it wasn't for you, and Xemnas might not've gotten involved at all if you and Riku hadn't disappeared. You're the one," he said, drawing a circle in the air with his index finger, "who's bringing us together again."

My breath caught in my throat. "Again?"

"Yeah. Well, Organization Thirteen, anyway."

For a few moments, I was silent, ruminating over that. "Well, _still_," I said finally, determined to win this. "I haven't had time to get attached to any of it, and I don't like that. I feel like I could lose it all of a sudden, and…and never know what I was missing."

I heard him chuckle, and then he bumped me with his hip. "You mean you haven't gotten attached to _me_? You're cold, Sora."

"I didn't mean that!" I said defensively.

"I'm just kidding with you," he said, smirking back at me, and suddenly started moving away.

A black fear stole across my heart and I had a feeling like he'd disappear before my eyes. "Where're you going?" I demanded.

"Nowhere," he said, crooking an eyebrow. "Just to talk with Noxe. If you're that jealous, come along," he added.

But I wasn't anywhere near that jealous, I told myself, and fumed silently as the caravan kept moving. Some of the kids had stopped crying, since they'd figured out that it wouldn't do them any good, and the rest were silenced with a well-placed smack when no one was looking. Axel floated about up ahead, talking amiably with Noxe and then with the Lynx. He was also spending a lot of time with Dlax, I noticed—but only because every time Dlax made a move toward me, Axel cut him off and made a comment about the weather. I rolled my eyes. He wasn't staying out of it, but at the moment, I didn't care. Dlax would just make me feel uncomfortable, and I was uncomfortable enough out in the dusty heat. It seemed like every light breeze swept sand in our faces, and in the grassier areas mosquitoes attacked us with a vengeance.

"How much longer?" I asked Axel when he got back to me, since Dlax had given up and was marching dispiritedly towards the back.

"Noxe says we should reach the restocking station tomorrow morning," he said. "We would've been there two hours ago if those Cyborgs hadn't gotten to us, but it can't be helped now."

I grunted. "And how're we doing on water?"

"Don't drink any unless you really, really need it."

I groaned at that. My tongue felt like a sponge in my mouth, but I wasn't about to go for any water just yet. It'd be gone in a second in this heat.

The hours passed like eternities. It was asking enough of my body just to keep putting one foot in front of the other, so how Axel was able to think was beyond my scope of comprehension. "There's supposed to be a forest here," he said in a low tone, looking around at the arid wasteland on either side of the road. "Noxe said we'd hit a forest to sleep in…"

Noxe looked confused too, and he was arguing up front with the Lynx. It wasn't like we'd gotten lost—it was a big four-lane highway in the middle of nowhere, c'mon. I wasn't concerned about it, and didn't see any reason to waste brainpower trying to understand it. The forest wasn't there. Period.

"That is _really_ strange," Axel continued, looking about in concern. "They've got all kinds of maps about this place, I saw Noxe's—could he have made a mistake…?"

I grunted an indistinct response and let Axel murmur to himself, focusing on my abused feet as they stepped once, then again, then again…

It wasn't until the sun finally started dipping below the horizon that I could finally form a coherent sentence, and I used this newfound ability to question my unscathed state. "What…shouldn't I be blistering?" I wanted to know, running a hand over my face. The idea of sunburn had been wandering around in the back of my head for hours, and only recently came to the surface in the form of a concern.

"Why?" Axel asked wearily.

"I mean, we're out in the sun, we've been out here for hours—shouldn't we have gotten burnt by now?"

He laughed at that. "The sun can't burn you, stupid, it's too far away," he muttered thickly.

I opened my mouth to dispute that, reconsidered, and closed it again. Physics aside, if the Zenithian sun couldn't burn us, it was one thing less to worry about.

Noxe, Dlax, and the Lynx girl were still worried about the state of the nonexistent forest, but they finally called us to a halt and we broke out the tents and cookware. Axel was kind enough to do the cooking, as I was too exhausted and probably would've figured out a way to set sand on fire. I did put up the tent, though, and he made some corrections after dinner. "Tomorrow we'll be at the station," he said simply as we flopped down into the sleeping bags. "And then we'll be able to get some new vehicles. It's not as bad as it could've been…"

"Mmmh," I grunted thickly, and burrowed deeper. I watched the top of the tent for a while, seeing the stars glimmer dimly through it. It occurred to me that I should go to sleep, that I'd be tired in the morning—but I just couldn't seem to manage it.

After a while, I noticed there was something happening by the entrance. A figure was approaching—at first I thought it was Dlax, but as the zipper slid open, I realized it was Riku. He stepped inside, sunshine flowing in behind him, and I smiled, saying his name without saying it. Smiling in return, he moved up beside me, and I felt the sleeping bag tighten around me as he put his legs on either side of my hips. I struggled then, but I was so very tired, and he smelled so nice—and his hands were around my wrists, and I wasn't really trying to stop him now, I didn't fight it—and he bent his head by my ear—

_I have you now, Sora_.

Dlax's voice.

I swallowed a scream and jerked sharply, realizing in a flash that it was dark again and neither Riku nor Dlax were there. The opening to the tent was unzipped, though, and I looked around in panic for an intruder. All I saw, though, was that Axel's sleeping bag was empty. I curled up in the night chill—why is it deserts get so _cold_ at night?—and in spite of that, I had just resolved to go after him when I heard voices. A figure was approaching the tent, I thought, but it was hard to see in the dark.

"Shhhh…"

A faint whimper, and then a muted sob.

"It's all right. It's all right. You're safe."

The voice was Axel's, and I got up, heart beating in my throat. He started to come in, and I was about to say something when a fainter, deeper voice spoke.

"I…I n-need light, Axel…"

Before I fully understood what was happening, the Keyblade was in my hand and the tip let off an incandescence that illuminated the entire tent. Axel froze, one foot still outside, and in his arms was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. The stranger took one look at me and let out a bloodcurdling scream.

"Shh, shh, shh, it's okay—_shhhh_," Axel said rapidly, turning to shield him. "Put that away," he snapped at me, and I quickly complied, still not quite sure what made me bring it out in the first place. Fumbling in the dark, Axel let the stranger down on his sleeping bag, and I heard one of them make a faint, pressured sound, like someone getting an injection. "Fire okay?" Axel asked. Met with a soft affirmation, he snapped his fingers and a small flame flickered above his forefinger. By its light, I was able to get a better look at the stranger.

He was wearing rags that looked eons older than him, and had shoulder-length hair that was…well, that was pink, for whatever reason. His eyes were blue and darkly intense, framed by unusually long eyelashes that looked like they were spotted with dew. And, like I said, he was beautiful beyond words. That's why it took a while for the flower on his forehead to draw my attention. When it did, I realized it was pink as well, and was slowly unfurling as Axel intensified the flame.

"Sora, this is Marluxia. Marluxia, Sora," Axel said quickly, focusing more on Marluxia's bloodied left side. "Why the hell'd you do this to yourself, Mar?" he wanted to know, cursing. "You know I can't use squits on this! Shit…"

"I had no choice," Marluxia said firmly, but his voice sounded weaker than his resolve. "It was this or be erased, and I _won't_ be erased."

"Erased?" Axel repeated, but then shook his head. "Don't answer that. We've got to fix this. Would a Jotun's powers do it?"

Marluxia hissed and shook his head. "Risky. Only if they could isolate the seed."

"There's only one Jotun I know who could do that, and he's at the Apex. How about a Lynx? We've got one of those, too."

"Too passive. We could try it, though."

"Hold on," I said just as Axel rose. "I don't know…maybe I can help," I said, not sure what was making me say it.

"This is dangerous stuff, Sora," Axel said darkly. "Are you prepared to take responsibility for what might happen?"

"I am," I said, even though it didn't quite seem like it was me saying it. It was almost as if it was some other person that I used to be was taking over. "I can do this. There isn't much time."

Marluxia gripped the sleeping bag suddenly, a flicker of fear in his eyes, and he turned to Axel sharply to hide it. "I don't want to be on the wrong end of that thing, Axel," he half-whispered.

But Axel was watching me, sizing me up, and he finally nodded and dropped his eyes from mine. "Go ahead."

"Axel—!"

"It'll be all right," Axel said, bending down to Marluxia's level again. "We can trust him."

Marluxia's eyes darted from him to me, and then he relaxed with a heavy sigh. "Do what you will," he said, looking away.

In that moment, I could've killed him, I reflected—he was surrendering, which seemed so wrong for him on so many levels—but there wasn't time to go over the logistics. I drew out the Keyblade, pretending I didn't see it when he flinched, and pointed it at the wound. For a moment I just sat there, a bit at a loss. Wasn't there a word? Or was I just supposed to close my eyes and will something to happen?

Axel looked up, eyebrows raised—and finally I remembered.

"Heal!" I called out, and a bell sounded. A green light surrounded the wound for a moment, and then it closed, a seed dropping onto the ground beside it. Marluxia looked at it in astonishment, and then relaxed so completely that I actually sighed with relief.

"Great," Axel said shortly, relaxing as well. "Thanks, Sora. You wanna tell me what the hell happened?" he demanded of Marluxia.

"In the morning, Axel," the older man sighed out, turning away. Then he blinked a few times and sat up. "No. Now. I can't sleep right now."

"Does this have anything to do with the forest that's missing?" I asked, suddenly remembering it.

Marluxia looked away sharply, and Axel let out a soft, hurt sound. "You…you can't imagine," Marluxia murmured. "So many Dryads…so many _trees_…the whole hideout…"

"So this is where you've been all this time? A Dryad cult?" Axel rolled his eyes. "I knew you were crazy, Mar. I had no idea you were _insane_."

"You wouldn't understand," Marluxia snapped, and the Phoenix fell silent. The Dryad looked at the corner of the tent, curling up a little bit—and that was hard to watch. Just like with Vexen earlier, he was truly vulnerable, and it just didn't seem right to see him like that. "They…they used Time Mages," he said finally.

There was a silence.

"Oh my god," Axel whispered, lowering his head in shock.

"There must've been thousands. I don't know how many years they sent us forward."

The Phoenix didn't reply to that. For a few moments he was silent, shaking his head insensibly. "How did you escape?" he asked finally, looking up.

"I…" Marluxia's jaw tightened and he looked away, inhaling sharply. "I used brandy."

"_Mar_!"

"I had no _choice_!"

Axel stared at him, his jaw working but no sound coming out. "But—you could've—do you have _any_ idea—is it still on you?" he asked finally, jerking away like Marluxia was a victim of the Black Plague.

"No. The seed took care of that."

"That was _dangerous_, Marluxia."

The Dryad nodded. "The hardest part, was…was probably when the trees forgot."

There was a silence, and Marluxia gradually unwound. Axel sat for some time, clearly trying to absorb it, and I tried to figure it out. After a while, though, we both looked at one another, realizing it was probably about time to go back to bed before the walk the next morning. "I guess we'd better figure out where we're sleeping," Axel murmured, getting up—but then he stopped, watching Marluxia for a moment. He put a finger to his lips even as I started to ask what was wrong, put out the flame over his hand, and then carefully pulled the rest of the sleeping bag around the Dryad.

"You're the smallest," he whispered to me. "So unless you feel like climbing in with him…"

"No thanks. C'mon," I said, and we squeezed into mine, lying back to back and trying not to get our cold feet on each other's calves. It was kind of strange being that close to someone who wasn't Riku, but if I hadn't gotten comfortable with Axel after all this, I probably never would.

We were silent for several minutes, but I couldn't sleep just yet, still all too aware of Marluxia and whatever had happened to him. "Axel?" I said finally, keeping my voice low but not quite whispering.

He shifted. "Mmm?"

"How'd you find him?"

It took a minute for him to reply, and I figured he was switching gears from some other train of thought. "He was banging around outside," he said finally. "Sounded like an animal at first, and I figured I'd better go out and deal with it before we woke up without faces or something. But he recognized me, so I didn't fry him, and now it's one less thing we have to worry about. Go to sleep."

"Sorry. Just curious," I told him, trying to sound offhand instead of defensive.

After a while, though, I just wasn't getting any sleepier, and I heard Axel curse. "Never gonna get to sleep at this rate," he muttered, shifting irritably. "I'll have nightmares all night anyway…"

"Why?" I asked.

He looked up and over his shoulder at me. "You're still up?"

"Yeah."

"Cripes. Well…" He lay back down, sighing, and thought a minute. "It's kind of hard to explain what happened," he began softly, "but apparently the enemy saw fit to attack that Dryad cult with Time Mages. They're nasty things—give them an hour, and they'll take away a year of your life, send you a year ahead, or just plain mess you up chronologically. What these did…what they must've done is, they aged the entire forest. They marked some boundaries and aged everything within them to a couple thousand years in an instant. It would've been a horrible way to go—and Marluxia only escaped because he made them forget he was there. He made them all forget he ever existed, and he could've made us and everyone else forget if he wasn't careful. Hell, he could've forgotten _himself_ if he made a sloppy job of it. It was not a good idea," he added sharply. "Don't try it at home."

"Brandy is bad. I _know_."

There was a silence, and Axel exhaled slowly. "He would've witnessed it all," he said. "He would've seen it when they fell apart, when their skin dried up and their innards leaked out…he's seen the stuff we only hear about in the history books. There hasn't been a congregation of Time Mages like that since—"

A sudden shout from the other sleeping bag drowned him out. We both froze, and then Axel jerked up and out and was at Marluxia's side. "Shhh—no, you'll wake the others…" he whispered, clamping a hand over the Dryad's mouth to muffle another outburst.

I don't know how long it was that he sat there, silencing any further screams and rubbing his knuckles across Marluxia's brow. It occurred to me that these two probably hated each other the last time they saw one another—but somehow they were united in tragedy and trauma. Or maybe it was that the events of Organization Thirteen were just too far behind to matter just then. Either way, Axel didn't come back to bed that night.

* * *

Author's Note: Deus ex machina ahoy. Oh--and I point blank REFUSE to call Marluxia a "pink-haired" ANYTHING. I realize that's what the color is, but it just seems diminishing, and I'm trying to be very serious with him this round (I haven't been kind to him in the past). I realize people don't like nicknames, but I just can't see Axel enunciating all of "Marluxia" every time he addresses the guy.

And because Axel made a job of killing people off back in the day, I've made him the Organization's honorary Nanny Do-Good. Frying Vexen et al in this life means cleaning up everyone's poop in the next, so let's be sure to keep that in mind next time, Axel dear.

(sigh) I'm scared to do this, but the next one will be up in seven days—so, Tuesdays until further notice (although Wednesday feels more appropriate). Snowflake suggested I have an interviewing session or two, in case people want to clear some stuff up or connect with the characters, so feel free to send in questions if you…um, care. (And if people don't want me getting too close to the characters, I'll conduct it without an avatar present. Just lemme know, guys—I'm not Zexion, I can't read your mind. :P)


	14. Butting Heads with Dlaxidan

The next morning was there before I realized I'd fallen asleep, and I shifted and looked over at Marluxia. The Dryad was still asleep, and so was Axel, finally—he was still crouched at the older man's side and his head had dropped forward onto Marluxia's shoulder, but he was in fact asleep, and I hoped it had been enough.

"Axel?" I said, approaching him and putting a hand on his shoulder. I would've gotten Marluxia up first, only I didn't really know him yet and wasn't comfortable with the idea. So I picked Axel instead. "Axel, it's time…c'mon, now…"

He shifted, groaning, and reached up to grasp my wrist loosely. I saw a little half-smile flicker across his lips. "Rox…" Then he lifted his head, blinking blearily at me. "Dammit," he muttered thickly, letting go and rubbing at his eyes. "Nope. Not Rox. What, ah…what time is it?" he asked, yawning.

"Um. Morning," I said, stifling a yawn myself and looking around for a clock or watch of some sort. "I can hear Noxe and the others getting ready, so…"

"Yeah." Axel rubbed his eyes one more time and smacked Marluxia. "Hey, flower-boy. Get up."

Marluxia did reluctantly, and the flower on his forehead bloomed as he sat up and squinted around. It took him a minute to remember where he was, and then he looked at Axel with appraisal. "Thank you," he said thoughtfully, sounding a little taken aback.

"Don't mention it," Axel said, rising and inhaling wearily. "We'd better, um…better get ready and stuff."

I took over the cookware, lest Axel set the tent on fire, and Marluxia got stuff together. He borrowed some of Axel's clothes, which were a little tight across the chest and loose around the hips, but otherwise fit pretty well. I was surprised the first time I saw Marluxia stand up—he was taller than Axel and more built, and I hadn't realized Axel had the strength to carry someone that much larger than he was.

The Phoenix seemed much less impressed by this information when I remarked on it to him, since his arms were sore and he was still almost too tired to comprehend speech. We still managed to get him to eat, though, and afterwards Marluxia and I took apart the tent while he dozed in a beach chair. I got to his side just in time to see Noxe approaching.

"And who is this?" the Jotun wanted to know, sizing up Marluxia.

"One of the people we were, um…the folks," Axel said, shrugging. "Found him last night. Mages."

Noxe sighed and passed a hand over his eyes. "Axel, the kid here is one thing. I cannot explain the presence of _two_ extras traveling together with you without making the system look very, very foolish."

"With all due respect, sir," Marluxia said smoothly, "these are regrettable and completely unforeseen circumstances. Axel could not possibly have predicted my presence here, nor the onslaught of the Time Mages who passed through."

The Jotun's face probably would've gone white if it hadn't been already about that color. "Time Mages?"

"A few thousand, if I'm not mistaken," Marluxia said grimly.

Noxe gasped suddenly. "The forest…they took the whole _thing_?"

"Evidently."

He didn't seem to know how to react to that. He scratched his head, staring at the ground in wonder and shock. "Which side?"

"Which side are you on?"

"The right one."

"It was the wrong side."

I made a mental note to ask how the hell that worked.

"The Towers will hear about this!" Noxe promised, nostrils flaring. "After the way they decimated our transportation…they're taking too many liberties with the battlefield. Mindless slaughter of innocents wasn't supposed to be part of it."

"We'll ensure the Towers' knowledge," Marluxia said, "but even they can do precious little until it hits the chicken festival."

Noxe nodded, still deep in thought. "Well. We'd better get a move on—we'll hit the restocking station today, and we don't want to hang around here if there've been Mages about."

Marluxia, Axel, and I divided up the luggage, but we gave Axel very little and stayed on either side of him. He was not in good shape after last night and I sort of wished we could stop a while for him, but I certainly didn't want to run into those Time Mages either. "So, um…Marluxia?" I said after a while. He still seemed so imposing, in a quiet way—kind of like Xemnas, but not as wise or distant. "What's this with the right and wrong side?" I asked quickly, more to make small talk than anything else.

His eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"Human," Axel grunted, and the Dryad nodded in understanding.

"People on our side of things call it the right side," he said simply, "and the other side call themselves the true side. Whatever side you're not on is obviously the wrong side," he added.

"What if you're on the side that's losing?" I asked slyly.

"Then you _are_ on the wrong side."

"Ah."

We walked on in silence for a moment, and then Axel looked up and glared at me. "That's it? You understand it? He didn't have to break it down any more than that?"

"Uh…no," I managed, caught off guard.

Axel dropped his head forward and muttered curses.

It wasn't until late afternoon that we finally hit the restocking station, which was mercifully surrounded by trees and grass. Chlaxas ran ahead to get some people to help with the luggage, and two Cyborgs lifted the exhausted Axel from between us. Just as they did, his pack broke open and Negra juice fountained out. I expected him to curse and get violent, but instead he just sighed and started to laugh uncontrollably, earning himself some odd looks. "I was wrong!" he called back to me. "Murphy's Law and the rule of mess! Of _course_!"

"He'll be fine," I said when Marluxia shot me a worried look.

"In that case, I'll buy us some supplies and a new vehicle," Marluxia said, pulling out the sack of coins that Axel had entrusted to him lest he died of sleep deprivation. For some reason he frowned at it in irritation. "That idiot always carries around a king's ransom, he's lucky he hasn't gotten robbed…"

That sort of surprised me. Axel didn't strike me as the rich type—but then, he _had_ grown up topside, and I didn't get the impression that the middle class came from there.

At any rate, Axel was out of it and Marluxia was going shopping, and that left me with nothing to do. So I followed the Cyborgs up to the guest rooms and tried to figure out the phone. "What's the number for Nada?" I asked Axel, who was still dimly conscious.

"Four one zero," he slurred out, and turned over.

I blinked a moment, but then put in four-one-zero and waited. No one answered, though, and after a while the answering machine picked up. "Hey, you've reached Guimlex and Ixolut, and we're out treasure-hunting. Obviously. So leave a message, and we'll get back to you if we feel like it."

"Nine two two three," Axel added just as I hung up.

"Hello?" came a high-pitched voice after two rings.

For some reason I couldn't think straight. "Uh, hi, I'm…I'm looking for…sorry, is this—?"

"Just a minute—no no no, it goes in perpendicular—well I'm _sorry_, Xehanort, but these things don't work like that—just go get your master, will ya?" The person on the other end sighed heavily. "Sorry, fella, but I'm kinda in the middle of something right now. Couldja call back later? Thanks."

And I hung up with the mind-boggling feeling that I'd just talked to Mickey Mouse.

"Four one zero, nine two two three, seven one two four, _five_," Axel rattled off sleepily, and wrapped the pillow around his ears.

In order to make it easier on him, I took the receiver in the bathroom and shut the door on the cord. Through some sort of dumb luck, I must've scribbled down the numbers correctly, because it picked up with a familiar voice immediately. "This is Nada Apex, Number Nine speaking, how may I help you?"

"Hey, Demyx."

There was a pause. "Oh! Sora. You sound different over the phone. Hey!"

"Oh—right, sorry. I was just calling to let you guys know we finally got to the restocking station. And we ran into Marluxia on the way," I added, setting the lid down and taking a seat on the toilet.

"Marluxia? _Really_? Was he part of the caravan?"

"Uh, no, actually—Axel said something about a Dryad cult…"

Demyx sighed. "Great. Marluxia _would_ get involved in something like that."

"What do they do?"

"Well, Dryad cults…" Demyx hesitated, and I heard a soft sound like he was scratching his head. "They basically go out into the battlefield and some of the less populated places and just…and get really attached to the trees. Like, physically attached."

"Oh. _Oh_," I said then, realizing.

"No no—not like _that_, just…it's difficult to pull them apart again. Anyway," he continued, "you found him in one out there? How?"

"Some Time Mages attacked the cult and sent the whole forest a couple thousand years ahead."

Demyx made a hoarse sound like something dying.

"Wh—what? Time Mages—and—and did—_what_?" he choked out.

"Uh, they…" I hesitated. "I'm not clear on the specifics, but…they decimated the forest, basically. It was gone when we got there."

It took him a minute to comprehend that, and I sat uncomfortably, kind of wishing I could relate but at the same time glad I couldn't. "Okay," he said finally. "You're gonna have to hit me with it again. A group of Time Mages destroyed the entire forest and took a whole Dryad cult with it."

"Yes."

"Which side did it?"

"Which side are you on?" I asked automatically.

"Same side as you, silly."

"The wrong side, then."

Demyx sighed heavily. "At least it wasn't us, then. Then we'd _really_ have something to worry about. The minute this hits the chicken festival, half the country's gonna be outraged."

I frowned. "So, the chicken festival is, like…your political center?"

"Something like that. So how _is_ Marluxia? How did he escape?"

"He used brandy."

There was another silence, and then a pronounced thud. "Oh, wow. Even _I_ wouldn't try that."

"That's because nobody'd let you get close enough to even think about it," I reminded him.

"Touché. But that was seriously idiotic of him…they must've backed him into one hell of a corner."

"They really did. He's fine, though," I added. "He used some sort of a seed to get the brandy off…like I said, I really don't know the specifics, but I could have him call you later."

"Would you? Thanks. Oh—did you want to talk to Riku?"

"Uh…no, actually, that's okay," I heard myself saying. "I gotta, um…I gotta go, anyhow. Let him know we're okay, though."

"Gotcha. Bye, and thanks for calling!"

"No problem. Bye."

I waited there a moment after he'd hung up, like I was expecting him to still be there, but then scoffed and went to put the receiver away. "Oh, hey," I said as I realized Marluxia'd come in, and he quickly put a finger to his lips. "Sorry…right," I whispered, glancing at Axel, who had finally fallen asleep in spite of things.

Marluxia beckoned me out of the apartment and locked the door behind us. "It's probably about time for lunch," he said, "and Noxe says there's a buffet downstairs in the lobby. Are you hungry yet?"

"Getting there," I told him, feeling my stomach rumble even as I said it. "Oh, and you'd better call Nada later. Demyx'll want to brief the rest of them on our position."

He gave me a funny look. "Nada?"

"Yeah. That's why we're out here, didn't Axel mention it?" I asked. "We're trying to get you and the others back together for the Exchange."

The Dryad was silent for a moment. "The Exchange," he repeated slowly. "Of course. I knew we'd forgotten something…"

"So, you're not gonna try to get out of it?" I said hesitantly.

He studied me for a moment. "I can't very well do that, with you here, can I?" he asked, smiling weakly.

I wasn't sure what to make of that. "I guess not," I said simply.

We made small talk on the way down, passing a few of the other members of our caravan as well as a few new ones. Marluxia wasn't as easy to talk to as Axel, mostly since he would just break off into silence and be pretty monosyllabic from time to time, but also because he was just quieter and more aloof. He kind of reminded me of Riku when he was younger.

The lobby wasn't really set up as a dining room, but they'd brought in chairs and a few plastic card tables from the basement. I actually marveled at how normal it was—until a flock of doves appeared out of nowhere to bring in the food. That seemed really incongruous to me, but Marluxia didn't seem to think so. At least lunch came in the form of something Zenith could never mess up: fruit.

I was extremely careful not to touch the bananas.

"So where are you from, originally?" I asked him after a while.

"Plum. Primary District," he replied promptly.

"Really? My other's from plum," I remarked. "He's actually going out with Axel now. Er—they're married, that is."

Marluxia raised an eyebrow. "Axel's married? That comes as a surprise. He's not the monogamous type."

I laughed and was about to reply to that when Marluxia suddenly contorted those beautiful features into a look that could curdle milk. I followed his gaze to Dlax, who was lingering by the door, and almost jumped as I felt a strong arm wrap around my shoulders. "Wh-what're you doing?" I demanded of Marluxia, but he didn't reply. Frowning, I tried to jerk away from him—only to discover just how strong he was. I literally couldn't have gotten away if he was trying to kill me, and for some reason that thought scared me on a deeper level.

"My apologies," he said when he released me, sitting back and watching the doorway. "I felt it was necessary."

I glanced over at Dlax, but he was gone. "Axel's been doing the same thing! Are you just psychic or something?" I demanded, rubbing at my arm a little. It didn't hurt, it had just been weird.

"Axel is one thing, but you shouldn't be hanging around any other Phoenixes," Marluxia said firmly.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm starting to wonder if you guys aren't just as bad as parents," I muttered, and got up to storm out.

"Sora," he said sharply, and I turned without really meaning to. His eyes were narrowed, not with contempt, but frustration. "Axel and I are what you would call indigenous to this world. If you won't trust our judgment," he added, resting an arm on the back of his chair, "whose _will_ you trust?"

I glared back at him, but I couldn't meet his gaze for long. "Mine, I guess," I said, dropping my eyes from his, and stalked from the room without another word.

"They barely even know me and they keep getting so protective," I muttered angrily as I walked, heading in the general direction of the room. "I may not know everything about Zenith, but they're just overdoing it." I scoffed, shaking my head. "Probably think it's for my own good, like I _don't know_—like it's _so hard_ to figure out what's good for me or n—whoa!" I stopped short within inches of colliding with someone. "Sorry—Dlax?" I realized.

"Hey," he greeted me, glancing around a moment before returning his attention to me. "How've you been?"

"All right, I guess," I said, shrugging. I thought about telling him about the rough time I was having with the other two, but figured it was too risky. See, I _can_ make the right decision, I thought angrily in Axel's general direction.

"C'mon," he said, turning, and I hesitated. _You can more than hold your own in a fight, if it comes to that—but why would he want to fight you in the first place?_ came the little voice in my head. Dlax was suspicious, sure, but so far it hadn't seemed like he had any malicious intentions. Well, I thought, other than that comment out on the road—

"You coming?"

"I'm not sure where we're going," I confided, but caught up with him and fell into step at his side. He glanced around a corner, did a double take behind us, and then ducked into a broom closet. "Uh, Dlax?" I said hesitantly. Was this another weird Zenithian thing I wasn't aware of?

And suddenly he yanked me straight in—and then his arms were around me and his lips were at my ear. "It has been…_so_ hard," he murmured. "Axel hanging around you like an overgrown bat…and now that new guy muscling in…you had me worried, Sora."

Whoa, whoa, _whoa_!

"W-what're you doing? Lemme go!" I shouted, struggling.

That seemed to surprise him, and he did, pulling away and cocking his head to one side. "I'm confused," he said.

"That just _begins_ to describe how _I_ feel!" I shot back. "What were you—_why_—I mean, I'm not…"

"But, you…I mean, you flirted back," he said helplessly. "And the threat, and…I-I thought…"

And suddenly it was all very clear. How could I have been _so dense_?

"Uh, no no," I said, trying to calm down. "You…you've got it…I gave you the wrong idea."

But there was a different expression on his face now as he thought it over. I could almost see the gears clicking in his head as his eyes returned to mine. "Not knowing the courting rituals goes far beyond trauma. You must be from outside…a human?" he murmured, frowning. "But…oh! _Legal_ human! Then that's why…!" His eyes glittered speculatively.

Danger crackled all around my instincts. "I, um…Axel's gonna be looking for m—"

"Axel's in no condition," Dlax cut me off, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "And even if he was, don't you know that honor's a big deal in Zenith?"

My teeth clicked together at that. No, I hadn't, and he could see it on my face.

"You owe me, Sora," he said, taking a step closer. "I got you into the caravan, didn't I? That's a significant debt, considering what it would've cost me if we'd been apprehended…"

"Then you should've let me know beforehand," I said, trying to keep the tremors out of my voice. I was strong, yes, but I wasn't used to maneuvering in tight spaces—and what if my refusal meant consequences for Axel?

"That's true, I should have." He seized my wrist. "It won't happen again."

"No—!" I cried out, only to be silenced by his lips against mine. I twisted away, gasping for breath and squirming. "No! _No_! How many times—!" I cut off into a grunt, trying to push him away—but he was so _strong_— "_Ow_! Stop it!" I shouted, kicking at him even as his teeth sank into my shoulder. _Riku, I need you—right—NOW. _For some reason I had the strangest impulse to cry.

Instead, I yanked the Keyblade out of thin air and smashed him with it. He fell against the mops in the corner, angular limbs flailing, and I stepped back, opening up an escape route to the hallway in case. But he seemed too dazed to counterattack, blinking up at me in astonishment, and I screamed an expletive at him before turning tail and running.

Normally I wouldn't have done that—normally I probably would've stuck around and smashed him about some more, but the whole incident had my nerves strung so tight that I didn't know what kind of emotional outburst I might have. And I certainly didn't want to break down crying in front of him.

Axel neither, I realized when I got back to the room, so I just sat down on the vacant bed and tried to remember how to breathe, trembling. The Phoenix blinked at me and sat up in a flash of motion. "What happened," he said shortly. It didn't sound like a question.

For the first time I didn't care. "Dlax," I got out, my voice barely above a whisper. "Dlax, uh…happened."

I heard the faucet shut off and Marluxia came out of the bathroom, shooting me a curious look. Then his eyes widened in dawning comprehension and he sighed heavily. "What did he do?" he asked. Axel, who looked tongue-tied with rage, nodded emphatically.

"He um…he wanted…and he tried to, uh…" I looked away, burning with embarrassment. They had to get the message, I wasn't gonna go any further than that.

I looked up in surprise at the sound of sheets billowing. "Axel," Marluxia said sharply even as the Phoenix rose and stormed towards the door. "Let it alone. He said he didn't want us involved."

"I don't care."

"Come off it, Axel—_Axel_! Where're you going?" the Dryad demanded, and the redhead stopped at the doorframe.

"To assert dominance," Axel snapped over his shoulder, and disappeared down the hall. Marluxia followed after, and I got to my feet, still stumbling a little from fear and now from being overwhelmed. I got to them in time to see Marluxia seize Axel's arm.

"Let it _go_! It isn't worth this!"

The redhead wrenched away from him and whirled, eyes burning. "If I don't do something _now_, he'll come after him again until I do."

"Sora's refusal should've made it very clear he wasn't inter—"

"That doesn't matter to him and you know it. Stay out of it, Mar," Axel hissed, his voice knifelike, and he stalked down the hallway.

Dlax appeared around the corner suddenly, still rubbing his cheek, and he froze once he caught sight of the redhead. It looked like he was about to run, but just then Axel let out a piercing squall that sounded exactly the way I thought a pterodactyl might. Dlax didn't move for a moment, but then he gave an answering shriek, and the two of them advanced on one another, expressions steely.

Marluxia's shoulders dropped in defeat just as I caught up with him. "What's he gonna do?" I asked in a panic, eyes darting from the Phoenixes to Marluxia and back to the Phoenixes.

"They're going to work it out their way," the Dryad said, passing a hand over his eyes. "It's too late to stop it. Axel's already voiced the challenge, and Dlax has accepted."

I fidgeted, watching them as they started to circle—which was a little tough in the hallway. "Can't we do something?" I asked finally. "I can't just sit here and watch—!"

"We can't get involved," Marluxia said. "We'd better head back for the room. It's about to get ugly."

"But what if something happens to Axel?"

"There's nothing to worry about. They're not out to kill each other," Marluxia explained, but he still seemed concerned. "The point of this is to keep you away from Dlax, so let's go."

I didn't protest after that. It was, after all, my fault that Axel was doing…whatever it was he was doing, and if the most I could do was stay out of his way, I would.

* * *

Marluxia and I lounged about the apartment for what felt like days. We were waiting on Axel to return more than anything else, but we didn't say so. Every time I heard a scream or a blast of fire from below, I looked sharply at the Dryad, but he seemed absorbed in the plant by the window.

Finally, at close to bedtime, Axel came back in and collapsed onto the bed. "You okay? What happened?" I wanted to know, rushing to his side.

"Went splendidly," he mumbled into the pillow.

"Who won?" Marluxia asked detachedly from the window, glancing over.

Axel held up three fingers, and the Dryad smirked. "Congratulations. Don't try it again."

"Ahhh, he was a couple levels below me," Axel said mildly, flopping over on his side and grinning woozily up at us. "Strong offense, but a shoddy defense—and even shoddier in the later stages. He's not used to getting beaten," he added with a smirk.

"You," Marluxia said sharply, "need sleep. Now. I don't even want to think about what this kind of sleep deprivation does to a Phoenix's metabolism."

"I could eat a cow."

"And balloon to three times your size. It's been a long day for all of us," the Dryad added pointedly.

"Fine," Axel said, waving a hand.

"Dibs on the single," I said promptly.

"No fair!"

But it turned out not to matter, as Axel dropped off to sleep again without even changing. Marluxia and I got ready, switching in and out of the bathroom. Funnily enough, it wasn't until I dropped into bed that I realized I hadn't had dinner, and I was suddenly ravenous. But I certainly wasn't waking them up for it, so I just curled up tighter and tried to ignore it. It was even harder, though, as I went over the events of the day in my head. Why, I thought irritably, when I was struggling in Dlax's arms, had I thought of Riku?

* * *

Author's Note: Three fingers make a W which makes Winner. Lame, I know, but it was that or V for Victory, and I felt like that'd hit too close to home. The good news is, I've finally managed to get back to working on this. The bad news is, I'm currently still reeling from a plot twist Sora recently pointed out to me, and I think I might've just royally messed us up. Chances are I can still pull it off, though.

No questions? You guys aren't confused or lost about anything? That's a relief. I know it gets nutty from time to time, and I was concerned.


	15. Bliss and Turmoil

We woke the next morning to someone pounding on the door and screaming expletives. Axel was, unexpectedly, the first one up, and he pranced over to it with something akin to glee. "Yes?" he called, smirking.

"_Open this fucking door_!"

I recognized Dlax's voice and shot up in bed, hand out and at the ready to call the Keyblade. Axel opened the door against my better judgment to reveal a rumpled, furious Phoenix standing with his hands on his wide hips. "Do you have any idea what I woke up to?" he raged at Axel.

"Nope," Axel replied, clearly delighting in Dlax's distress.

"Morning sickness! _Morning sickness_, you bastard! Because of _you_, I'm gonna have to spend six months—!"

"If you'd left my precious cargo alone like I told you to, we wouldn't have this problem, now would we?" Axel asked smoothly.

"He wasn't _yours_, rule of logic says so—!"

"That doesn't mean I'm not looking out for him."

Axel's voice was cold that time, and Dlax hesitated.

"How about you remember this incident the next time you go hunting for status?" the redhead said. "In case there's any confusion this time, Sora is off limits. Got it memorized?" And he abruptly shut the door in the other Phoenix's face.

Axel ran a hand through his hair as he turned away from the door, where Dlax was screaming a few curses before stomping away down the hall. "Well that went well," he murmured, but he didn't sound like he meant it.

"Think he'll kill it?" Marluxia asked sleepily.

"Nah. Too risky."

"What're you gonna do about it, then?"

"Let it alone. That's what happened to me, anyhow, and I turned out fine," Axel said, sitting down on the bed again and scratching the sole of his foot.

"Fine is not a word I'd use to describe it," Marluxia replied, but didn't pursue the matter.

Meanwhile, I tried to absorb what had just happened. "Why does Dlax have morning sickness?" I asked when I was capable of speech again. "_How_ does Dlax have morning sickness?" I added.

Axel raised his eyebrows. "Well, Sora, when two Phoenixes love each other very, very much—"

"Is _everyone_ gay?!" I demanded suddenly of the heavens.

He didn't seem to know how to react to that. "Uh…gay?" he repeated after a minute. "What's gay?"

I blinked. "Well, like—when two guys—or, no, when a guy _likes_ other guys—"

"Oh," the Phoenix said expansively, nodding. "Homosexual. Got it."

"It, I just…I don't understand how it can be this frequent!" I exclaimed, glaring at the floor like this was its fault. "Back at home, it's not exactly _rare_, but it's certainly not common. Over here it's you, and now Dlax, and even _Roxas_, who is supposed to be _me_ and that's just weird—for all I know, it's half the Organization!"

"Well, _obviously_," Marluxia murmured drowsily.

"_What_?"

"Okay, listen," Axel began. "Over in your world, you've obviously got some different sets of rules about this sort of thing—and it's all humans, right? No other races?"

"Well, besides animals, no."

"Right." Axel sighed and rubbed his temples. "Okay, I'm not sure where to begin here, but the races here have a lot more differences than just the way we look. To explain the Dlax thing, I can promise you two things—you will never see a female Phoenix, and you will never see a male Siren."

He gave me a second to absorb that.

"That's why," he said, sitting back, "we can only _be_ homosexual, and nothing else. We haven't got another sex to prey on."

"Guh," I said eloquently.

"Yeah, I guess it's a little much to take in right now…"

"So you got…you got him _pregnant_," I managed. "But, if you're both guys…?"

"Right. Well, the thing is, we sort of have both, um, capabilities—but it's a lot harder for us," he added. "Because, uhh…" He hesitated and poked Marluxia. "Hey, Mar, you asleep?"

The Dryad grunted indistinctly.

"Good. Stay that way. Okay…" Axel rested his head in his hands a minute before continuing. "Never thought I'd have to give someone _the talk_. So, we, ah…we battle it out, and then the one who wins manages to put his…and yeah," he said quickly when I nodded. "And his, you know…his little…sperm," he said finally, defeated, "actually have to fight the other guy's…youknow, just to get to the, er…the egg."

I hesitated, frowning. "But, I mean…uh. Where?" I asked finally.

He looked confused. "Where what?"

"You're both, I mean…there isn't a—"

"_Oh_. Uh, here," he said pointing at his ass.

I stared at him, unable to speak. "But that's…! I mean, _why_…doesn't that _hurt_?" I got out after a minute, cringing.

"Duh, it hurts," he said sourly, grimacing a little as if from past experience. "The idea is sort of _not_ to be the loser. Whoever loses has to put his, um…his reproductive goals on hold for a while. His nuts turn off until the baby happens," he added in a mumble when I frowned in confusion.

"…Oh."

"Yeah."

There was an awkward silence. "Well, that explains the hips," I said finally.

He came over and deliberately smacked me in the head.

"I should've explained it earlier," he continued, beginning to pace. "Maybe not in…quite that much detail, but—the thing with Phoenixes is, status is everything," he explained. "That's why we've got this domination thing going on. It's really our substitute as far as love is concerned—you don't find many purely Phoenix couples. So we have a drive to get the best, and a lot of times the best is the rarest; and there's nothing more rare in Zenith than a human."

"Mmmh," I mumbled in realization. "So that's why…"

"Yeah. I knew he'd come after you if he knew what you were. So it's really my fault. I should've told you about it from the start."

"No, I…I dunno. I guess I was being kind of a brat," I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment. "I just…I know I'm new to this world, but sometimes it seems like you guys think I'll break into pieces, and I won't, I promise."

He smiled apologetically over his shoulder. "Yeah. I probably have been too careful…I get that way. Drives people nuts."

"So who's rarest after me?" I asked then, in part to change the subject.

The Phoenix smirked at that. "Sylphs."

* * *

Marluxia rented out a car, and since Dlax wasn't coming he was promoted to Number Two, which I didn't think was fair since I'd been there first. Even so, I wasn't going to lose any sleep over my acquired title of the unauthorized thirteenth member.

It wasn't until we were starting to leave that I thought of something. "Dlax said something," I murmured, still trying to remember. I'd mostly blocked out what had happened in the closet—I do that when things get weird enough—so it was a minute before I had it. "He said something about honor," I told Axel apologetically. "That, you know, we owed him and everything…is that gonna cause any problems?"

Axel raised an eyebrow. "He told you _that_?"

"Uh-huh."

"And you believed him?"

"…Uh, yeah…"

He shook his head. "For future reference, Sora, honor doesn't count for shit here. Be careful with your trust when people want something."

"I wasn't _trusting_ him—"

The Phoenix gave me a sharp look.

"Sorry. Be more careful. Got it," I rattled off, subdued. I knew that's what he'd meant, and I made a mental note not to get stuck on technicalities.

"Oh…" Axel murmured then, and I looked up sharply. He delicately touched the tips of his fingers together and shot me a sidelong glance. "Could we, um…could we maybe not mention this Dlax thing to Roxas?"

"Sure," I said, blinking. "I don't hate you _that_ much, Axel."

"Eheh. Thanks." But he still looked concerned. "I guess I kinda jumped the gun back there…I mean, I shouldn't've, with a devotion…" His gaze fogged over and he frowned faintly. "I should've needed permission, it wouldn't've let me…"

I suddenly realized he'd stopped walking, and I hesitated and turned back. "Axel?"

He was staring at his left hand.

"_Shit_."

"What's wrong? Axel!" I called out as he bolted back for the guest room. I joined him to find him vaulting over furniture, checking under dressers, and throwing up the neatly prepared bedspreads in a mad search.

"The—you know, the—back when we first met…" He knocked over a mattress, cursing steadily. "The rings, dammit! D'you remember the rings? I _had_ mine when we left…where could it've…" He froze, glaring around the room and flexing his fingers like he could grab it out of thin air.

I blinked at him for a moment. "_Oh_! Those!" I realized finally. The little green ones with the diamonds—Roxas had gotten them way back when he and Axel got married.

Axel had come to an abrupt stop, staring at the wall without seeing it. "He," he half-whispered, "is going to _kill_ me."

"What?"

"My hand," he said, massaging his left wrist absently. "I had to cut it off back at the motel…I had the ring before that. _Dammit_!" he exploded, kicking the bedstand with so much force he almost knocked it over.

"What's going on? Why are you two still up here?" Marluxia demanded from the hall, skidding to a stop in the doorway. "The caravan's about to leave."

Things were happening a little fast for me. First the ring, then the caravan, now something buzzing in my pocket—

"I lost my ring," Axel explained, sounding almost anguished. "My _wedding_ ring. Roxas is gonna…this'll mess us up _so_ much…"

Marluxia's eyes softened, but he sighed heavily and shook his head. "All of our things are already packed. If it's there, it's there, and if not…well, we have to move on, Axel."

"I know it's not there," he muttered, shaking his head. "I dunno…maybe…maybe it's still at the motel, if that dump didn't burn up with the beds."

"And we can drop by there on the way back," I said, relieved. "It's got to be there. I'll be surprised if anyone touched that room."

He nodded numbly, and Marluxia ushered us out of the room and down the stairs to the caravan.

"Oi!" someone called as we came within sight of the car, and I realized that blue-haired Lynx girl was standing close to it, tapping her foot. "Ya sure know how ta take yer time! Noxe is gettin' peevish."

"Oh, that's right—Sora, Axel, this is Chlaxas. Chlaxas, Sora and Axel," Marluxia introduced us. "We're from the same Apex," he added to her, nodding in Axel's direction.

"I see. Howdy do, mates," she said brightly.

"Hi. Thanks for earlier," I added quickly, remembering that motorcycle incident.

She waved a dismissive hand. "Pschaw. Anytime. Oh—I actually had kinda a favor ta ask…" Flushing a little in what I realized was shame, she scratched the back of her neck self-consciously. "Er…recent matters've made a gal short on cash, an' I was kinda hopin' someone'd—"

"Sure, we've got room. It's the least we can do, anyhow," I interrupted. I could tell she just wasn't used to asking for things, and she shot me a grateful smile. "Er—right, Marluxia?" I asked then, suddenly unsure.

"I don't have any objections," he replied, and looked to Axel. "Unless you do, that is. It's your purse." He frowned. "_Axel_."

Axel was gazing at the car door, deep in thought. "Um, sure," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. "Try not to rip it."

The Lynx smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Ya got a good view of the weather from up in those clouds, ma—?" And suddenly she stopped, and her expression softened. "Oh. Bugger."

"Yup," he muttered, and dropped into the back seat.

Marluxia, heading for the driver's side, gave him a funny look, and Chlaxas hesitated. After a minute, though, I shrugged at her and got in beside him. "You okay?" I asked him in an undertone as Marluxia started the car and Chlaxas pulled the passenger door shut.

"No."

I sighed. "Well, try to think of it this way—we'll get to Larxene soon, and we can drop by the hotel on the way, and it's _bound_ to still be there…" Although, I thought then, the smell would be overwhelming by that time, and with the ring in there—not to mention Axel's _hand_, or the one he used to have, which was probably starting to get fragrant itself—

"Even if we could find it, the smell would never come off," Axel remarked.

"…Yeah. That's just what I was thinking."

Axel chuckled then; a small, broken sound. "This is the first time, you know…" He hesitated, shaking his head. "It's always been so easy," he said finally. "I _always_ get my way. I wanted in the Apex. I got it. I wanted a human follower. I got her. I wanted to disband the Organization. I _got it_. And now…" He sighed. "Now that I've got something I really care about, it seems like everything's just going _wrong_."

I smiled wanly. "Well, think about it. Maybe it's _because_ you care so much," I remarked gingerly, trying not to sound dismissive. "I don't know enough about it, but you tend to notice these things more if it's really important to you."

He only nodded distantly, and I tried to think of something better to say.

"Axel."

The voice seemed to come from my pants, and I let out a shout of alarm, half-convinced already that a certain part of my anatomy had suddenly become sentient. But it had evidently come from Axel's, too, because he fumbled in his pocket and brought out the comlink. "Yes, Superior?"

"Marluxia is with you. Correct?"

"Yeah."

"And have you told anyone else about the Dryad cult?"

"Um…" He frowned, considering. I glanced at Chlaxas, but she was absorbed in conversation with Marluxia and didn't seem to notice.

"Marluxia told Noxe," I said to Axel in an undertone.

"Noxe?" Xemnas repeated. "Is he the one from Ever?"

"I think so," Axel replied. "Why? What's the matter?"

Xemnas seemed to consider his words carefully before replying. "We will not be informing the Towers of this, and if at all possible we must try to keep it contained on our side."

"I don't get it," Axel admitted, frowning. "The Towers will announce it at the chicken festival, and the rest of Zenith will be in uproar. Isn't that what we want?"

"No."

The Phoenix rolled his eyes. "Because that would make too much sense."

"Essentially, yes. The rest of Zenith already knows of the antagonism between him and the Service, but until the chicken festival determines a ruling on that, it's not something we can use against him. He knows that. And yet he has not been subtle, if those were his Time Mages—and the chances of that are high. He _wants_ us to address it at the festival, but I have not yet determined the objective behind it."

Axel considered that. "Okay. I'll tell Noxe to button up. What do you want to do about the Cyborg thing, though? I'm guessing you heard how they shut down our vehicles."

"I have. However, if Ansem wants us to implicate him, we can't do that through Cyborgs—his only direct connection is with the Time Mages. It will also take too many resources to cover up. We will treat it like an unprovoked assault."

"Gotcha."

"Get to Larxene and hurry back."

"Right." Axel put the comlink away and looked up at Marluxia and Chlaxas, whose conversation had turned in the direction of Dryads. "Hey, Mar. Icksnay on the upidstay."

Marluxia frowned at him in the rearview mirror, but somehow seemed to understand and gently turned the conversation towards politics. "Which side're ya on?" Chlaxas asked him when she realized it.

"The right one."

"We'd better not talk about it, then."

It took me a moment to realize what that meant, and then I stared at her. Marluxia had fallen silent, and Axel scratched his temple, looking as if he wanted to say something but knowing enough not to. Instead he let out a slightly annoyed growl and turned his attention to the window. I knew without having to think about it that his thoughts were turning to Roxas.

Inexplicably, mine turned to Riku. There had been the Dlax thing, I wasn't proud of that—but it didn't mean anything. Anyone in my situation would've wanted some help, and it only made sense to think of someone like Riku, who'd always been there. I was really more concerned about that phone call back at the motel…for an instant I'd been hurt. Jealous, even—and that just wasn't like me. Not to mention there was this thing we were going through now with the….with the kissing, and…I wasn't so sure I even wanted to think about that. _Or_ the fact that I'd had a dream about it now, too…and I hadn't resisted? Why hadn't I resisted? It'd been a dream, I thought in a panic—they're supposed to be weird. And this was _Zenith_, of all places; I couldn't choose to sleep anywhere weirder.

And that was it. That was the answer. _Zenith is messing with my head,_ I decided firmly, and the subject was closed for discussion.

Which meant I had to find something new to focus on. I could pick a fight with Axel, only he was still brooding, and I knew better than to mess with him then. I started to catch Marluxia's eye, only for Noxe to come on over the radio to discuss positions. So that left Chlaxas.

She seemed smaller than the girl who'd helped us after the motorcycle incident somehow. Maybe that was the clothes—they were oversized, and made her look even slenderer than she actually was. She was also curled up into a ball, her shoes on the floor by the seat and her knees pulled up to her shoulders. Quite suddenly she turned to face me, a little half-grin on her lips. "Ya've got a penetratin' gaze, mate. Reminds me of someone."

"Sorry," I said immediately, realizing that I'd been staring.

"S'okay. It's someone I wanna remember," she said, leaning her head back against the seat. "Whaddya wanna talk about?"

I hesitated. "Uh. I dunno…stuff."

"That's a start." She turned to smile at me again. "What's yer big sis like?"

"I don't have a…" But I stopped short, realizing just then that I knew Chlaxas was adopted, and that her older sister was a Naiad with deep blue eyes like mine, and something else…there was something else, but she was keeping it hidden somehow. I stared at her in astonishment.

"Guess ya haven't figured out the technique just yet," she said wryly.

Axel leaned forward around the seat to smack her in the head. "Stop that."

"Just tryin' ta help! Bloody hell!" she complained, rubbing it.

"Noted. Go help Marluxia instead, will you?"

She shot the Dryad a crafty look, and Marluxia glared back at Axel. "That's not necessary."

"Oh, sorry, forgot. He's into trees, you know—_hyugh_?!"

I turned in alarm to see that some sort of green, twisting thing had seized hold of Axel, and a plum was wedged in his mouth, silencing him as effectively as a ball gag. "Let's be polite to the driver, mmm?" Marluxia suggested mildly.

* * *

We stopped around six and set up camp by a forest, so there was shade—not that it mattered much, as night fell pretty quick. Axel had recovered completely from his brooding session and was talking animatedly with Marluxia, even though the conversation got very one-sided from time to time. I couldn't help feeling a little left out—I was still an outsider to the Organization, and they were making a lot of references to things that didn't make any sense to me. Zenithian jargon was probably part of it, too.

It was after dinner that silence had fallen, and I was about to bring up Demyx or someone just to see if we could cover some common ground, but Marluxia's lips twitched suddenly in a suppressed chuckle. "Oh, what?" Axel wanted to know, already grinning with anticipation.

The Dryad looked up at him seriously and said, in the most melodramatic tone he could manage, "_Seventh_."

Axel lost it and howled with laughter, beating the ground with his fist, and Marluxia tried unsuccessfully to smother his own. I had no idea what it meant, but I couldn't help laughing with them. Riku always says my smile is infectious, and well…that's what Axel's like with laughter.

"Where's Chlaxas?" I asked when it had died down. Axel, who'd collapsed onto his back, turned to regard me through eyes still wet with tears.

"Didn't she go eat?" he said, rubbing at one eye.

"Yeah, but I don't see her there," I pointed out, jabbing a thumb at her cookware, which wasn't far from our tent.

"I'm not concerned. She's around," Marluxia said, shrugging. "And she'd be able to see it coming before anything serious happened to her."

"Doesn't always mean you can do something about it," Axel pointed out.

"I'll go check on her," I suggested, rising. It was more to get away from them than anything else. I wasn't experiencing culture shock per se—at least we spoke the same language and everything—but this Zenith thing was getting a little much for me.

"Don't stray too far," Marluxia said.

"And be careful. Anything happens, comlink," Axel reminded me, jabbing his thumb at his pocket.

I sighed. "Here we _go_. Nothing's gonna happen, guys. It's a walk around the campground, not a mission to Mars."

Marluxia blinked. "Mars?"

"He means the planet, not your place."

"Ah."

"Back in a bit," I called over my shoulder, and I heard Axel shout "Seventh!" in an ecstasy of hilarity before dissolving into hysteria again.

The campground was actually pretty quiet, despite the fact that everyone was mostly still awake. One of the Doppleganger kids was crying softly, and I could make out someone trying to console him, but otherwise all I could hear was the rush of the wind and that kind of silence that only happens at night. I picked up a stick just to drag it along the ground and started off towards the forest pretty aimlessly, not really intending to go anywhere—not really looking for Chlaxas, either.

I found her anyway. She was sitting up in one of the trees, her eyes locked on something in the distance. "Hey," I called up to her. "Whatcha doing?"

She squinted down at me a moment. "S…Sora, right? C'mon up."

I hesitated, then shrugged and clambered on up. It wasn't like I was in the middle of anything important, anyway. She giggled a little as I reached the top. "What?" I grunted, exerting myself a little—this thing wasn't as close to the ground as I thought.

Chlaxas grinned as if she just couldn't help it. "Ya've got a funny way of climbin', mate," she said finally as I vaulted onto the closest branch on the other side of the trunk.

It took me a minute to realize what she meant, and then I rolled my eyes and groaned. "Oh. That." I caught shit from Riku about that all the time, but damned if I was taking it from her. "It's not really something I can control…"

"I bet. Marluxia ain't the only one into trees, eh?"

"You don't be careful and I'm gonna knock you off," I promised darkly, and she snickered. "What're you doing up here, anyhow?" I added, glancing warily at the ground several feet below.

"Watching the bliss." She pointed.

Imagine an aurora. Now imagine a sentient one; one that can fly about at whim, undulating across the sky like a glowing thread. Try to conjure seven sets of wings, all beating gracefully in a wave of color and light, and an almost mournful warble that sounds half music and half divine.

Imagine a flock of these creatures.

"They're…" I got out in a whisper, but I couldn't seem to find the word and shook my head in awe.

"Kinda pretty. Ain't they?" Chlaxas asked wryly.

"…Yeah. Ki…kinda."

We watched them for several moments, the creatures twisting and coiling about one another in slow, deliberate patterns. "What are they?" I asked after it finally occurred to me that what I was seeing was real.

"Light."

"Light?"

She nodded. "From back when darkness and light were sentient. The darkness is long gone, and so's most of the light, but the bliss are still here. Dyin' out, though, the poor blokes."

I hesitated. "Then…are the Heartless the darkness?"

Chlaxas made a dismissive noise and rose, placing a hand on the tree trunk to steady herself. "Nah. Imitations. True darkness was thousands of times stronger. Legend has it, darkness was even more beautiful than the light."

"I find that hard to believe," I remarked, watching one of the bliss perform a glittering backwards turn.

She turned to regard me speculatively, and after a minute I realized she was waiting for something. "You said…" I began, slowly realizing this was it—she'd seen this coming. "You said you were on the true side."

" 'Struth."

"Why is that?" I demanded, suddenly fierce. "Why do you want to bring more chaos into this world? Haven't you seen what the Heartless can do?"

For a few moments she only watched me silently. Then her eyebrows turned upward. "They ain't told ya," she said quietly.

"What?"

Chlaxas sank back down onto the branch with a sigh and sat for a moment, collecting her thoughts. "Look—every side has its secrets," she began. "Every side has things it wants ta shove aside. For us, it's like you said—we don't pay as much attention to what the Heartless are, what they can do. And for you on the right side…" She hesitated. "Ye're a human, right? Otherwise ya'd probably know. I hate ta break this to ya, but…the Heartless are already here. They're already breakin' through, and there ain't nothin' we can do about it but deal. Either we figure out a way ta bury the hatchet, or…" She shrugged her thin shoulders.

"Bury the hatchet?" My head was spinning. "Hold up—nobody…none of this ever—!"

"Yeah. Don't blame 'em, though," the Lynx said, turning to watch the bliss again. "It's tough bein' on the wrong side."

I shook my head. "I don't understand any of this! Why would they keep that from me? Where did the Heartless come from in the first place?"

"Darkness, like ya said," she replied. "But like _I_ said, they're just imitations. We're the ones that descended from those beauties," she added, pointing up at the bliss. "So we had our differences, eh? And we created a seal. Chaotic order below, ordered chaos above. Makes sense to me. Only the darkness is always after the light," she added, shaking her head. "Insatiable buggers. They're finally gettin' through."

"So Ansem wants to break that seal," I realized with a cold shock.

She stared at me in horror. "No! _Hell_ no! Ansem's a fuckwit, I'll give ya that—but he ain't suicidal. Ya break the seal, and…" She shuddered. "Nah. You better not…look, just finish whatever ye're doin' and get the hell back home, all right? Whatever happens here, ya should be okay there."

"But there are Heartless back home, too," I pointed out.

She frowned. "In Destiny Islands?"

"Yeah."

"Lots?"

"Enough to make the Service worried."

That made her eyes widen. "That ain't right…" Brooding, she drew her knees up to her chin—which made me _very_ nervous at that height. "That can't be right! The hell're they comin' from?"

"Here, I thought," I said, blinking.

"Can't be. That doesn't make any sense," she insisted, shaking her head fiercely. There was a furious silence, and I went back to watching the bliss. Finally, she looked up and sighed. "Bliss're almost gone. We might wanna be gettin' back."

"Yeah," I said quietly, tearing my eyes from them to climb back down the tree trunk. I scratched myself a little on the way down and hissed, wringing my arm, but I was still happy to be on solid ground again. "So you can see the future, right?" I asked, linking my fingers behind my head.

"Sorta, yeah."

"Is that the Lynx's power? Like, how Phoenixes use fire and all?"

"Nope. Lynxes use darkness," she said simply. "The eyes're just a lucky benefit. And don't get on about that Heartless stuff—Sylphs get light, Lynxes get darkness, ya gotta have a balance," she added as if she'd had to explain this many times.

"That's not Lampades, then?"

"Uh-uh. Lampades're illusion. Tricky buggers, them."

"Oh. Well anyway…" I hesitated. "Could you, I mean…can you _read_ the future, too?"

She blinked at me in incomprehension. "Like a bloody fortune teller?" she asked.

"Well, yeah."

For a few moments she considered that, chewing her lip. "I dunno. Didn't think so, but maybe. Why? Ya want me ta try it on you?"

I balked. "I, um…I guess there were some things I was curious about," I admitted carefully. "But it's kinda private, I mean—"

"Not ta worry. If I don't know now, I'll find out somehow," she promised with a wink. "Let's try! I think I got a pretty good idea how it works."

She was doing this awfully quick, but whatever. I carefully weighed the chances of ever seeing her again in my life before responding. "O…kay. Uh, do you need my forehead?"

"No, that's if I wanna access _you_," she said. "Future comes from outside. Gimme yer hand." I did, and she pressed her thumb to my palm. "Anythin' specific?"

"Yeah, actually," I said a little quickly now. "There's…well, this is gonna sound dumb, but there's this person I can't remember. So if you see anything about someone that I just don't recognize, maybe…"

"Brandy?" she asked apologetically.

"Yeah."

"I'll see what I can do. Hold on—this might sting just a bit."

It _did_ sting, and more than just a bit—it freaking _burned_, but I bore it and grunted in pain. Chlaxas's orange eyes were glowing, and her pointed face was intent, lips pursed with effort. After a few moments, though, she started to scream—a high, shocking sound that made me flinch back, but not hard enough to break the connection. "Chlaxas! What's the matter?" I demanded, trying to wrench her hand free of mine. "Let—let _go_! What's _wrong_ with y—!"

She finally did and the scream died away into short, desperate breaths. I wrung my hand out—the thing was still stinging like mad—even as she sank to the ground, orange eyes wide. "Chlaxas?" I asked finally, bending down to her level. "Was it hurting you? What happened?"

The Lynx shook her head, trying to enunciate something even though she was still panting too hard to concentrate on anything else.

Dread curdled in my stomach. "Chlaxas…what did you see?"

She finally looked at me then, a glimmer of tears in her eyes. "Agony," she whispered hoarsely.

* * *

Author's Note: Chlaxas isn't actually any creation of mine: accent, attitude, and vibrant blue hair are taken directly from Schala "Kid" Zeal of Chrono Cross and Trigger alike. Oh, and Dlaxidan's other is Aladdin, for anyone who's curious. LOL IRONY.

All right, chips on the table. I've tried not to beg for reviews, I've tried not to let the silence bother me, but it does—I don't care about praise or flames, I just want to know what you're _thinking_. Should I keep going? Should I stop right here and now? Do you care one way or the other? I know it sounds selfish, but I'm really starting to doubt what I'm doing here, so…could you drop me a line?

Thanks for reading!


	16. The Last Prophecy

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* * *

"Agony?" I repeated, beginning to panic. "What—what exactly does _agony_ mean? What happened?"

But Chlaxas was shaking her head, putting up a hand. "No time. There's…there's no time. Ya gotta run."

"What?"

"Run. Now!"

"_Why_?"

She glared at me then, her blue hair in her eyes and her lip curling. "I'm gonna die in a minute," she confided darkly. "_You've_ gotta live. Run before I hafta hurt you."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "_What_? And leave you behind? Sorry, but I don't work that—!"

"Ye're gonna hafta learn, now _GO_!" she shrieked, throwing her arms out, and something solid slammed into me, knocking me hard against a tree several feet away. I felt it crack on impact—but fortunately it was thick enough to weather the blow and didn't crash down on me. Chlaxas rose even as I stared up at her, dazed. Then she turned sharply, something dark slashed out at her—and then she was crumpling inward, grunting softly even as her knees hit the ground and she collapsed to the dirt. The culprit was standing above her, his form shadowy and indistinct, but I could see the bloody weapon in his hand.

"_Chlaxas_!" I shouted, struggling to rise—and that was a mistake. It saw me, whatever it was, and it was knifing towards me. It was so _fast_, there wouldn't be time to run—so I did the first thing that made sense and whipped out the comlink. "Axel!" I shouted, fumbling and almost dropping it as I took off towards the camp. A cacophony of voices broke out as the other members of the Organization pressed for details, and I struggled to be heard above them. "Axel, I'm in the forest, there's this _thing_—!" Too late, I was too slow, only a second before it got to me—

And suddenly there was a shield shimmering between me and the stranger. There was also a form, but I couldn't quite make it out…it looked like the killer was running now, but I was wavering, losing consciousness, I must've hit harder than I tho…vision blurring, getting dark…hard to concentr…

Those…eyes?

"Sora! Sora! SORA! Can you hear me? _Answer me_!"

I started and opened my eyes, hearing the voice coming only inches from my head. After a moment I realized it was coming from the comlink—and Riku was screaming for me at the top of his lungs.

"_SORA_! Are you there? _Say something_, for the love of god!"

I groped for it, pressing my thumb to the center. "I'm here," I said weakly. My mouth felt dry and gritty, and my voice came out hoarse. "I'm here. I'm okay."

There was a silence, and then a thud. "Oh you stupid bastard," I heard him whisper. "You're gonna give me a heart attack one of these days. What the hell happened?"

"I don't…" I sat up, looking around for either the killer or that…that person… "I don't know," I managed. And then I saw Chlaxas off in the distance. "Oh. There was this…this thing," I got out finally. "It…it killed Chlaxas. It would've killed me, but—"

"Sora! There you are!" came a shout to my left, and I looked up to see Axel running over with Marluxia at his heels. "Some flawless directions you gave us there," he said sharply. " 'I'm in the _forest_ with a _thing_.' Could you be any more thorough?"

"I was kinda distracted at the time," I told him defensively. "That thing killed Chlaxas," I added, quieter, and gestured to her body.

That seemed to catch both of them off guard. Axel took a wary step forward, like she was some creature likely to attack, and glanced at Marluxia. The Dryad approached her with quick steps and checked her over, and Axel took a few sidelong steps until he was closer to me. "Is it still here?" he asked.

"I dunno," I said.

"Doesn't look it," Marluxia responded, looking around. "It's too bad Zexion's not around or we'd know, but I'm not picking up on anything. Looks like it was an Assassin Heartless."

Axel whispered an oath and dropped his head forward. "Sora," he murmured. It sounded like he was about to say something else, but instead he bent down to my level and ruffled my hair. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I think. Chlaxas threw me at a tree, but I'm fine," I added, rubbing my back gingerly.

"Good," he said quietly, and his eyes were unusually soft. His fingers twitched in my direction then, and I realized he was holding back. Somehow that made me smile.

"Axel."

"Mmm?"

"It's okay."

He regarded me for a moment with those intense green eyes, and suddenly he seized me in a rough embrace. "You dumb little _shit_," he muttered, his voice wavering. "You don't have any _idea_…an Assassin never misses its mark. _Never_. You could've died, and what would I've…"

His fingers were hard against my skull, making me squirm a little. "Axel, that _hurts_…" I mumbled, but he didn't hear me. And quite suddenly I saw a deep affection in him—an unquenchable thirst for contact and communication, as if every moment could be the last. The thought made me stiffen, and I stared at that explosion of red next to me. _What happened…? What did he lose…what was so precious…that he gets this attached to people now?_

"Sorry. We, um. We'd better head back," he said then, pulling away. He didn't meet my eyes. "What do we do about her?" he asked Marluxia, nodding towards Chlaxas's body.

"I'll let Noxe know there's been a casualty," the Dryad said quietly. He rested his palm on her forehead a moment before rising. "He'll know what to do."

"Axel."

Axel pressed his thumb to his comlink. "Yes, Superior."

"Riku says Sora finally spoke. What happened? Is he hurt?"

"No, he's fine," the Phoenix said, glancing back at me. "Assassin Heartless. It killed one of the caravan."

"Are you back at the camp yet?"

"No."

"Get out of there," the Lynx said sharply.

Marluxia crossed into hearing range. "Superior, I think it's gone. Even if it's not, we still have the body to tend to."

"I do _not_ get a good feeling from that forest. You get Sora out of there _now_, and that's an order. Get the body when it's convenient."

"Yes Superior," the two of them chorused grudgingly.

I suddenly realized I was exhausted, and I would've lagged behind if Axel hadn't stuck by me, his eyes peeled for attackers. We hit the camp and Marluxia gathered up Noxe and the man with dark hair, as well as a few other odds and ends, and ventured out into the forest again for the body. Back at the tent, Axel riffled through some papers while I got ready.

"Hey…" I murmured, feeling something odd in my pocket. The comlink was there, but there was something else, too. I pulled them both out and looked them over.

I thought my heart stopped.

"Axel."

"Eh?"

He looked up, and for a few moments he didn't say anything. "Where'd you _find_ that?" he asked then, rising and crossing to my side.

"I don't know, it was…it was right here," I said, handing him the little green ring.

He studied it for a few moments, turning it in the light from our lanterns. "It doesn't look damaged," he remarked after a while. "That's really weird. I can't think of any rules that would make it end up here…"

"And on _me_, of all places," I added.

Axel smirked. "I actually wouldn't be surprised if it'd been up your ass or something—rule of truth, you know—but in your pocket…that's a different deal. Oh, well. I might've asked you to protect it that night or something."

I hesitated. "I don't remember anything like that."

"Or maybe I left it on the counter and you grabbed it," the Phoenix said, shrugging. "We were both pretty tired that night, and either way I'm not gonna lose sleep over it." Before I could say anything else, it was on his hand, glinting spectral fire in the dim light. He smiled at me gratefully. "If it wouldn't violate the devotion, I'd kiss you."

"That's okay. Really, it is."

He smirked. "Thanks, Sora."

"No, uh…no problem," I replied, shrugging a little uncomfortably. "It's not like I did anything, I just found it."

"Whatever. Thanks regardless."

"Welcome."

Hours passed. It was probably about one in the morning. Axel and Marluxia were both gone or asleep, and I was drifting in and out. At one point I got a sudden chill, like something was in the tent. Or Axel had left the zipper open again, whichever. "Sora?" came a voice softly, wearily.

"Mmm?" I murmured faintly. And I was suddenly more aware—it had been a dream, or one of those half-dreams where people talk to you. I turned over and slipped back into it, half-registering the comlink glinting on the ground nearby.

"Sora…are you really all right?"  
Riku's voice, I realized finally. "Yeah," I murmured. "Yeah, I'm…" And I was awake again. "Riku?" I whispered, and then realized that was kinda dumb—I couldn't reach him without putting my thumb to the comlink, and if I did that the whole Organization would hear me. Wasn't he worried about that? Why was he talking to me? _If_ he was, I remembered then—it wasn't like I was fully conscious. "I'm okay, Riku," I said anyway, feeling stupid. Then I turned over again and tried to sleep.

"Good," I heard him whisper, and then nothing.

It was two days and one strawberry morning later, and the three of us were standing at the door of a small cottage—white with blue shutters. Axel was glaring at it like it'd done something to him personally. "You sure about this?" he asked Marluxia.

"This is the address."

"Fine."

The Dryad raised an eyebrow. "Well are you going to knock?"

"_You_ knock. She's okay with you."

Marluxia rolled his eyes and stepped forward to slam the bunny knocker against its platform three times. He stepped back, and we waited, listening to the sounds of someone approaching. "That is wrong on _so_ many levels," Axel muttered, glaring at the bunny now.

Not a second later it was replaced by a pair of electric green eyes firmly wedged in a very pointed feminine face. The stranger was loosely clad, and it looked like there were flickering yellow feathers running down the nape of her neck and across her shoulders. "Hello?" the blond said shortly. "Oh, Marluxia! How nice of you to stop by!" And then her expression changed like lightning as she rounded on Axel. "What do _you_ want?"

"You're coming back with us to the Apex," he informed her. "Dead or alive."

She let out a trickle of laughter that I immediately hated and waved a chastising finger. "Oh no no. I've heard about your little games with Vexen. And besides," she added, scowling; "I'm not _going_ back. I swore I wouldn't. So you can take your posse and scram."

"Larxene," Marluxia said firmly, stopping the door with his hand as she went to slam it.

She glared at him. "I can't believe you're in on this, Marluxia. What, did it get too boring for you out in the jungle?"

"Too empty, actually," he said in a low voice. "Ansem sent Time Mages to deal with the cult."

Larxene's eyes widened, and her lip trembled slightly. "Time…Time Mages?" she managed after a moment. At Marluxia's nod, she looked away sharply. But then she bit her lip, eyes hardening. "That…that must have been unbearable, Mar, but…but I won't…"

"_Larxene_," he repeated intently, taking a step forward.

"I _can't_!" she shrilled, and suddenly he was in the air. I turned just in time to see him hit, shuddering and convulsing with jagged electricity crackling around him.

"Larxene!" I heard Axel shout in rage, and then the door slammed even as I rushed to the Dryad's side. "Larxene! Open this door! _Now_!" the redhead demanded, pounding on it with enough force to crack the doorframe.

"Are you all right?" I asked of Marluxia, dropping to my hands and knees beside him.

"I'm fine," he said, sitting up and rubbing his jaw. "I didn't think she'd come quietly. Things might get a little ugly," he added as he rose, "so try to let us handle it at first, but feel free to step in," he added.

I blinked at him. "Really? You're actually giving me permission now?" I asked, more than a little annoyed.

"I wouldn't, but Xemnas sent you here for a reason," he admitted. "Which means we'll need you. Just don't get hurt." And he started for Axel's side.

"I'll burn it to the ground!" the Phoenix was shouting, incensed. "You know I will! Get _out here_!" He glanced back as Marluxia joined him and I hovered by the window, squinting for a sign of her. "You okay?"

"Fine. Did she say anything?"

"Not yet." Axel kicked the door. "C'mon, Larxene! We haven't got time for this! Stop being a cunt!"

"Let me try." Marluxia put a hand to the wood and leaned close to make sure she heard him. "Larxene, I know what you're upset about. But I can promise you—"

KZZZZT

The door practically exploded with lightning, and both of them flew back against the ground, coughing and struggling to rise. Larxene stepped out onto the porch before they could, her eyes burning. A jagged line of electricity shot up the twin hairs sticking out over her head. "You can't promise me anything," she told them from between gritted teeth.

I called the Keyblade to me, but hesitated to attack. It would probably come to that, but I was with Marluxia—if we could talk this out, so much the better.

Axel had other ideas.

A chakram flew at her from seemingly nowhere, and Larxene ducked under it, clenching her fists as what looked like knives flared into existence between her fingers. These she raked across Axel's cheek as he attacked, and he slammed the blunt side of a chakram into her face. As she struggled to recover, he drove a foot into her side, sending her sprawling. "Listen, Larxene," he said in a low voice. "We don't have a choice in this. You know how bad it'll get for us if we don't show at the Exchange."

"I don't care," she said, rising and staggering slightly. "They'll never find me."

"_We_ found you," Axel pointed out.

"You knew where to look. I'm not going back," she insisted, baring her teeth.

Axel sighed and hefted one of the chakrams. "That's a pity."

She ran at him with a scream. Suddenly a plant tore up out of the grass, all writhing vines and leaves, and snatched the two up into the air. "Both of you stop it," Marluxia ordered from the ground, his hands in his pockets and his eyes narrowed. "We're not going to get anywhere this way."

Larxene cursed and threw a sizzling blast of electricity at him, but he calmly stepped aside and let it burn itself out in the grass. Axel, probably knowing it made more sense to cooperate, was more focused on his bloodied cheek.

"Put me down or else," the blond said darkly.

The Dryad shook his head. "It's like Axel said, Larxene. You have no choice. There are two of us and one of you, and we both outrank you. You're not going to win this."

She let out a shriek and grabbed onto the green tendril curled about her waist, sending a current of electricity through the plant below her.

"Axel!" I shouted in a panic, seeing him squirm jerkily in the throes of that power. Marluxia noted that and struggled with the plant—it was probably impossible to get it to move while all that was going on.

Larxene stopped and smirked at him from the other side. "This is _else_. Are you going to put me down _now_?"

"Wait—just, just wait!" I shouted, running forward. This had to stop—and if he put her down, I knew it wouldn't.

"And who's this clown?" she demanded, shooting me a derisive look.

I glared at her. "Look. I don't like you, but we've still gotta get this Exchange thing over with," I told her bluntly. I was supposed to be connecting with her, I thought somewhere in the back of my head. Why wasn't I connecting with her? "We need your help. We just can't do without it. Is there any way we can work this—?"

She spat at me then, and I felt it slap against my cheek.

I really wasn't liking this girl.

"Ah!" I shouted then, feeling the—what?—her spit _burned_—!

"Sora!" Axel called in alarm—and then Larxene started electrocuting the plant again. Only there was even more lightning this time, and Marluxia wavered on his feet, all his effort concentrated on getting it to stop. I stopped slapping at my face and looked up sharply as Axel threw back his head to let out a choked scream.

Oh, I fucking _loathed_ this bitch.

"Stop it!" I shouted, leaping up with the Keyblade at the ready, and—

BAM

I hit the ground, grunting in pain. With a strangled cry, I ripped a dagger out of my shoulder, which is a lot harder and hurts a lot more than it looks like on TV.

"Convinced yet?" Larxene asked Marluxia, stopping it short again. In answer, he let it drop Axel, but tightened its hold on her—which made her scream in rage, for whatever reason.

"Axel, are you all right?" I wanted to know, rushing to his side and trying not to scream every time I jolted that shoulder.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he said, rising unsteadily, but he was still trembling. "It's gonna take a lot more than that. I'm more worried about you," he added, nodding towards my shoulder.

"It's fine, I—"

"It's _not_ fine. Here." He dug out a couple of squits and sprinkled them over it. "Might be enough—if nothing else, it'll tide you over. C'mon."

We crossed to Marluxia's side and regarded Larxene. "What're you going to do?" the Dryad wanted to know. "If you destroy that one, I'll only grow another one. You'll have to give in sometime."

"Or you'll what?" she asked, twisting and wriggling a little and looking infuriated. "Keep me up here for all eternity? How's that gonna help?"

"No no, you don't understand how it works," Axel said then, stepping forward with a disturbing smirk. "He holds you steady, while I…" A flame flickered into existence above his hand. "…_burninate_."

A flicker of fear crossed her face for a moment. "You—you won't kill me," she said quickly. "You can't, that defeats the purpose."

Axel cocked his head to one side, as if the idea was just occurring to him. "No," he mused thoughtfully. "But you remember those shocks back there? Yeah. They sucked. A _lot_. Which means I'm ready and willing to do _everything but_."

I made a mental note to stay on Axel's good side.

The Phoenix took a step forward and suddenly stopped, looking at his arm. Then he glanced up at the sky, and I realized the clouds had gotten very gray.

"It's raining," Marluxia realized, sounding incredulous.

"It _never_ rains," Axel growled. "_Shit_."

The Dryad, on the other hand, smiled. "Perfect."

I realized why a moment later as the downpour started and the plant burgeoned to twice its size, with Larxene looking on in horror. But then her eyes narrowed and an electrical spark crackled along her hair again. Somehow it seemed stronger than usual…

"Guys," I murmured. Then it finally hit me. "Guys! Water's a conductor! Get away from h—!"

BZZZZZAAAT

The blast hit Marluxia full in the chest, sending him flying backward and straight into a tree. He lay there as it slowly died away, his eyes dull. "Mar!" I heard Axel scream, and then he was at the Dryad's side.

"A tree?" Larxene said then, slipping out of the plant's grip and landing lightly on the ground. She let out another hateful chuckle. "That's almost poetic justice for you."

"Is he okay?" I demanded of Axel, rushing up and prepared to cast Heal if necessary.

"He's out cold," the redhead replied. "He'll live. Larxene," he said then, straightening. "I knew you were a bitch, but this isn't like you," he murmured, his eyes cold.

She scoffed. "You never knew me that well."

Axel hesitated, glancing at me and then at Marluxia. "Fine," he said then. "We'll go. But we'll be back," he said, "and we'll bring Xemnas."

Larxene stopped short and shot us an unsettling smile—it was one of those "Oh, _really_?" smiles you see on villains who don't quite believe what they're hearing. "You're not going anywhere."

A second blast—this one hit Axel, and I saw red. "You _bitch_!" I screamed at her, attacking without a second thought. She defended, those blades dancing across my skin, but I was too incensed to realize I was getting hurt until she kicked out, catching me in the stomach. I flew backward and hit the wall of the cottage, landing hard on the unforgiving dirt. I looked up just in time to see a barrage of flames send her reeling backwards. Axel was striding towards her, his expression murderous.

"I don't understand why you have to be such an idiot!" he snarled, slashing a deep cut across her side with a chakram. "We were gonna leave! It was gonna be over! But _you_…"

"You'd come back anyway," she said, stumbling backward and panting. "Why wait?" She clenched her fists and stepped back.

Axel let out another harsh scream as the next one hit, and he stood slowly, shuddering. "Larxene, you _know_ the rain makes me—"

She laughed loud enough to drown him out. "Oh, how the canary changes his tune when the going gets tough! Should I let up on you? Just like you were gonna let up on _me_?" she demanded, her clenched fists sizzling with sparks.

"You leave him alone!"

I smashed her a good one. I'm still proud of that one. It was a blow to the back that made her crumple outward and shriek in pain, and she also dropped all her knives, which let me follow it up with several other good ones without any consequences. It wasn't, but it felt right—it felt _just_—and there was an almost bizarre flash of adrenaline and satisfaction alike in the last one as she spun away from me and hit the ground. She coughed and sat up, wiping a spot of blood from her lip. "You're about to get on my nerves, boy," she growled.

I grinned tightly. "That's sort of the idea."

"It's a bad one."

She hit back, and she hit back hard. I collided with a tree and ducked out of the way to avoid the daggers that followed, slashing out behind me with the Keyblade. Axel leapt to my aid only for her to smash him into the ground, but he got up again and batted her around a bit before I got back into the fray. It took another bolt of lightning to send him down, and then she seized me by the back of the head and lifted. How exactly do you react to something like that?

"Lemme go!" I shouted, kicking and flailing in vain.

"And who is this? Your lover boy?" she asked the slowly rising Axel. He was in bad shape—the chakrams hung loosely at his sides, and he was panting unsteadily, body dipping and wavering.

"Put him down," he half-whispered, his eyes burning.

"He seems awfully close for a friend," she added, her smirk widening.

"I said _put him down_."

She shrugged. "Okay."

And quite suddenly I was up against the cottage, and pain was exploding out of my hands, and was that me screaming like that?

I turned my head slowly to see that a dagger was firmly buried in either palm, effectively nailing me to the side of the house. The realization made it even _worse_ somehow, and I was hissing and groaning and saying all kinds of things—only half of them were curses that I actually knew. I could feel the blood trickling down my wrists, and I couldn't move my fingers, and oh god was this really happening?

Axel had taken another hit while I was too focused on that, and now he rose, staggering. "Let him go," he said quietly. "C'mon, Larxene. This is getting out of hand. Let the kid go."

"He'll only get in the way if I do," she pointed out. "And I'm not done with you just yet. _Everything but_, right?"

"Axel!" I shouted helplessly as she electrocuted him again, and bit back a scream as the motion made me move against the daggers.

This time the Phoenix didn't even get up. "You're pushing it too far," he said. "I can't…"

"So even you have your limits, do you, tough guy?" She kicked him savagely, drawing a pained cry from him as he curled inward. I couldn't _bear_ this—tears started at the corners of my eyes. Why did I have to be so helpless right now? Why did I have to watch him get…

He lifted his head and glared at her. "Are you really gonna kill me?" he demanded. "Over _this_?"

In answer, she blasted him with electricity, lifting him off the ground and holding him there for several moments. I could barely hear the shouting above the ear-splitting crackle of lightning, and I writhed against the knives, trying not to care when it hurt, trying not to think about how much blood was running down my arms.

Larxene dropped him then, and he lay flickering and jerking with sparks for several moments. Then he was still. "Axel!" I screamed. _No! NO! This can't be happening!_ "_Axel_! AXEL!"

Blessedly, as she took a step forward, I saw him twitch.

"Larxene…please," he whispered.


	17. Drifting

I saw the blond waver then, and I saw my opening. "Larxene!" I shouted at her, seeing her knifelike gaze turn in my direction. "Can you really bring yourself to do this?" _No. No. Take attention away from Axel._ "There's something deeper here, isn't there? There's something else you're trying to prevent!"

She was starting towards me now, her steps slow and her eyes hard and dangerous. This wasn't a person, this was…something else. Why did it seem like she was incomplete, somehow? That was almost familiar…

_That's it._

"Me," I realized then, still staring into her eyes. "You're trying to prevent _me_." This thing, whatever it was, didn't want to connect. And it was willing to anything to keep from changing. I couldn't help but smirk. "You're too late. I already know what I have to say."

Larxene's lip twitched, and she drew back an arm, dagger in hand.

My heart was beating like crazy, and I was even more aware of the fact that I couldn't move unless I wanted to really rip up my hands, but I tried not to let it show on my face. I'm bad at that. "You gonna kill me now?" I asked her, and it wasn't quite me who said it. "You can't do it, Larxene. You have feelings now, or Axel'd already be gone."

She flinched, and a low growl rumbled in the back of her throat. It was almost animalistic.

"You ran to this cottage," I said, nodding back at it. "Ran away like a little girl. What, you thought you could get here and pretend like it never happened? Like the war _isn't_ going on? Like _he_ never existed?"

I had no idea what I was saying, but Larxene sure did. Her eyes got very soft then, and her arms dropped to her sides. She looked almost vulnerable like that, if not for the fact that she still had those daggers.

"Marluxia would've kept that promise," I continued. "You won't have to see _him_. In fact, you'll never see him again. He's gone," I added quietly.

She let out a strangled gasp, and I knew I'd broken her. That was the key—that was it. It was over.

Larxene sank to the ground, and I suddenly felt very dizzy. I was losing a lot of blood…but somehow it still seemed like we sat there for a long time, with Marluxia and Axel both collapsed and silent. There was only the sound of the rain and nightfall. "Larxene," I said weakly after what felt like forever. "I think I'm dying."

The blond looked up, but her eyes were empty. I must've blacked out, because a second later she was in front of me. "Hold still," she said softly.

Then pain.

Then darkness.

* * *

It was morning, and somehow I was alive. I shifted, rubbing at my eyes—and then remembered and glanced at my hands. They were fine; no scabs, no holes, no scarring. Larxene must've used squits, I thought, feeling that slightly sickening hatred I got in my stomach when I thought of her. But what about—?

"You finally awake?"

I turned over with a quick rustle of sheets to find Axel beside me, propped up on one elbow. There was a shadow of a smile on his lips and a weariness in his eyes, but otherwise he looked fine—if a little damp. "Yeah…are you okay?" I asked him. My voice was slightly hoarse.

"I'll _be_ okay," he said, dropping his head back down onto the pillow. "She, um…" His eyes flamed slightly. "She really pushed me to the edge back there."

"I know."

And suddenly and impulsively, I hugged him. It felt odd—especially with that fur—and it wasn't entirely comfortable, but after I'd come _so_ close to losing him…

He let out a little, embarrassed chuckle. "I'm the touchy-feely one, not you," he remarked lightly, but he hugged me back anyway. Then he hesitated. "Sora…are you crying?"

I sniffled. "No."

"Oh come off it, it wasn't that bad…" he murmured, pulling tighter.

"Yes it was," I insisted. "It was _worse_ than 'that bad.' You don't even know how bad."

He let out a sigh then, and I felt like it was enough and pulled away. "I-I'll go check on Marluxia," I said, starting out of the bed. I knew we were very close, and I knew he wouldn't begrudge me that, but…damn, I just didn't feel comfortable crying in front of him.

"Good idea. Me too."

"No." I seized his arm to stop him. "You're staying here, and you're resting up," I told him firmly. And just for good measure, I gave him one of my Very Determined Looks. (They've worked on Riku before and he says they bear capitalization.)

Axel rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said, and lay back down. I could tell he was a lot more tired than he was trying to look, and I could've sworn he almost went to sleep every time he blinked.

"I'll be back in a bit to check up on you," I told him. "You aren't allowed to die."

He grunted. "Well, shit."

I couldn't help chuckling at that, but I tried to do it quietly and shut the door slowly behind me. I was in a hallway of some sort, probably on the second floor of the cottage if the window was any indication, and while I wasn't really sure where anything was, it wasn't big enough to get lost in. "Marluxia?" I said quietly, taking a few steps away from the door. One of the other doors was ajar, so I knocked and let it fall open.

"Morning," Marluxia said from where he was seated on the bed in a bathrobe, flipping through what looked like the Zenithian newspaper. Apparently Zenith generates enough news to fill up a dictionary-sized pamphlet. "How's Axel?"

"Resting," I reported, stepping in and closing the door. I was more than a little relieved to see that Larxene wasn't in the room. "That took a lot out of him, and he still wants to push it."

"That's Axel for you."

"Did you get to talk to, uh…her?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes." Marluxia set the paper aside and glared at the wall for a moment. "I know Larxene," he said quietly, "and I know what she's capable of. And the Larxene I know would never be able to take it that far."

"It would've been kinda nice if she didn't attack us at _all_," I pointed out.

"Nice, yes. But this is Zenith. Violence is practically a handshake." He got up and started to pace. "Larxene says she's not sure what came over her. Don't get me wrong, she takes full responsibility," he added just as I opened my mouth to dispute that, "but she says that went above and beyond anything she wanted to do to us. Especially Axel."

"She can tell that to him when he wakes up," I muttered.

Marluxia didn't answer that. "I've briefed Xemnas on the details," he said instead. "The Superior is not happy. But we've still been instructed to bring her back with us, whatever it takes. We have at least another month before the Exchange starts, and we need to be training for it." He looked at me quizzically. "Axel says…" Then he hesitated. "Axel says Xurik died."

I looked away. "Yeah."

"Who's the replacement?"

I blinked. "He didn't tell you? My other—Roxas. Same guy Axel's married to."

Marluxia considered that. "That's probably why, then."

After a minute I nodded. "The Exchange is supposed to be really dangerous, right?"

"Yes."

"What's it for?" I asked then, taking a seat on a stool nearby.

Marluxia frowned, clearly trying to switch gears from something else. "To break it down," he said slowly, "the Exchange ensures a balance between light and darkness—darkness in this case taking the form of chaos, or the Heartless. It sates them for the next year, and it keeps us safe up above. Or it's supposed to," he added in a voice that probably wasn't meant to reach my ears.

"Chlaxas was talking about that," I said, and he looked up sharply. I hesitated. I hadn't wanted to bring it up with Axel around—I knew he was adamant about right versus true—and I figured Marluxia would be more likely to talk it out, but I wasn't sure if he'd take it the wrong way or not. "She, uh…she said we were on the wrong side," I added with a nervous chuckle.

"She would. Anything else?" he asked.

"Well…" I shot him an apologetic look.

He smiled wryly then. "Not to worry. Both sides wouldn't exist if there wasn't logic enough to support both of them."

_Zenithian logic,_ I thought dimly, but I smiled gratefully at him and took a breath. "She said the Heartless are coming up from…from wherever they come from, and I believe her. Axel fought one."

"He mentioned that," Marluxia mused. "Although that one tends to come from within, not below."

I nodded. "But she…she said that at this point, Zenith doesn't have any choice but to try to adapt," I added glumly. "I don't really understand why nobody…well, I wish Axel'd told me about the Heartless getting here."

Marluxia sighed then, sounding annoyed. "He knew you'd only panic. The true side has an infuriating tendency to blow the whole thing out of proportion—very few Heartless have managed to get through, and even fewer managed to claim lives. In the three years since this started, there might've been ten deaths related to Heartless. We lose more to the chicken festival," he added. "The seal against them is weakening. We knew that would happen eventually. But restoring the seal will take lives, and the radical new thinkers are the ones who believe maybe light and darkness—order and chaos—were meant to live side by side. The evidence is in Zenith itself."

I frowned. "Well haven't they looked at what's happening in Destiny Islands?" I asked then. "The Heartless are out killing people! How do you work a truce with that?"  
"Experimentation," Marluxia confided grimly.

My veins turned to ice. "What?"

"That's the theory. Xemnas's, that is," he said, sitting back down on the bed and glaring at the wall. "He thinks Ansem is behind it. Granted, that's what Xemnas usually thinks, but he has a point. Ansem seems to believe he can control the Heartless, so it's not a stretch of the imagination to think he'd try it out on Destiny Islands first."

"That would also sort of explain why he's going after Servicemen," I said darkly.

"Exactly. And Zenith hasn't been very upset about that at large—for one, he hasn't done a whole lot of it just yet. And for another, the Service was originally created to stop the Heartless _here_, so people are a little put off that they're focusing on Destiny Islands. What they don't seem to realize is, it still affects us," he added. "We have others over there. And like I said, there aren't so many Heartless cropping up over here that we need a round the clock Service to deal with them. Most Zenithians are strong enough to do it on their own."

I sighed and studied my shoes, trying to think this over as Marluxia fell silent. So Ansem was experimenting…well, they thought he was. And he was doing it on _my_ hometown, I thought with a flash of anger. But Zenith would still support that as long as it wasn't happening to them, that was just human nature. Not that Zenithians were _human_, but…

It was all too complicated. I wasn't seeing a solution, except… "How many lives would it take to restore the seal?" I asked finally.

Marluxia considered that. "It's probably expanded by now," he said finally. "We had a confrontation a couple of years back…Xemnas wanted to restore the seal, Ansem didn't, and so we all met face to face to see if we could talk it out. Ansem said that the most recent calculations implied about thirteen lives."

A chill went through me at that. "But Xemnas said no," I said quickly.

"Xemnas said _hell_ no," Marluxia explained with a wry smile. "The people involved have to be completely willing, and we…well, most of us were young. We're still young, and we wouldn't have known what we were getting into. It's one thing to be a soldier, where there's a chance, but here…" He shook his head. Then he rolled his eyes. "Axel _volunteered_. Naturally."

"I'm starting to wonder if he's not suicidal," I confided, feeling an urge to go back to the other room and do something violent to him.

The Dryad hesitated. "I think it's more…devotion," he said after a minute. "Death has followed him about since he was a boy. In fact, that's part of the reason why he's filthy rich nowadays. So if he thought he could prevent someone close to him from dying…" He looked up at me solemnly. "Axel absolutely would sacrifice himself."

That made me nervous. "I'll, um…I guess I'll go back and check on him," I said quietly.

"Do that. And get some more sleep while you're at it," Marluxia advised. "Larxene's making breakfast as we speak, but it'll take a couple hours yet."

I nodded. "See you at breakfast, then." And I crossed back to the other room. I hesitated in the doorway for a moment—long enough for Axel to look up and raise an eyebrow. "You're an idiot," I told him bluntly. "You know that?"

"How so?"

"I told you to get some rest, and here you are awake." I shut the door and crossed over to the bed again.

"I _was_ asleep," he insisted, dropping back and looking up at the ceiling. "I was just thinking. Had a weird dream."

I snorted. "I bet my dreams are weirder."

He smirked. "All right, top this. There was this taco, right, and I was eating it, and all of a sudden it turned into Roxas's _cock_—"

"_Why_," I demanded of god, faceplanting in the pillow and listening to him snicker. After a minute, I looked up. "What was it really?"

"What was what?"

"The dream."

"I told you."

"You _lied_."

The Phoenix rolled his eyes. "Fine. Let's see…" He considered it for a moment. "We were back at Nada," he said finally. "At least, I think you were there. Only it was—well, it was Nada but not Nada. You know?"

"Yup."

"It was really late, so everyone was going up to bed, and…" The redhead frowned, scratching his head. "And they were disappearing, or…something. I dunno. Someone was following me around…I think it was you, but anyway, I was scared for some reason. I was just so scared Roxas wasn't gonna wake up, so I wouldn't let him go to sleep. Screwy, huh?"

"Yeah," I said quietly, thinking about what Marluxia'd said. "…Screwy. Did he?"

"Fall asleep?" Axel bit his lip, thinking. "I don't really remember. I think so, but if he did, that's when I woke up."

"Hmm." I smirked. "That _is_ weird, but I can still top it."

"Try."

"Well, I was falling—"

"You and this falling stuff," Axel muttered, rolling his eyes.

"—and I fought this thing like a…I don't know, a demon. In a church or something. And then it turned into Riku, and he asked what I was scared of."

"Lemme guess. _Falling_."

I glared at him. "I actually don't remember what I said. But then he ran off, and I woke up because Kairi was about to break down the door. Late for soccer practice, you know," I added when he frowned.

Axel chuckled. "That's still not weird enough."

"Yes it _was_, I just don't remember a whole lot about it. It was about a year ago." I hesitated then, thinking. "Okay, I had one while we were on the road. It was daylight, and all of a sudden Riku came into the tent, and…" And I turned bright red. _Crap. Forgot that part._

"Oh," Axel said knowingly. "One of _those_ dreams."

"Shut up. It was _not_," I said, burrowing under the covers and turning away from him to sulk.

"Right. Just promise me you guys'll take it slow, alright?"

I kicked him.

* * *

He was gone when I woke up, and I stumbled down the stairs, still a little groggy. Axel and Marluxia were seated around the little table, and Marluxia was frowning at the paper. "It says Xemnas announced the Cyborg incident as an unprovoked attack from the true side," he said finally. "But he didn't mention the…the cult," he added quietly.

"No. He said he didn't want to bring it up just yet—Ansem's got something up his sleeve," Axel told him. "Morning again, Sora," he said as I sat down.

"Yeah." I glanced over at the paper. "I really don't see what he's got to gain from that," I put in. "Demyx said there'd be an outrage."

"There _will_ be an outrage," Marluxia said. "And I'm not sure how that works in his favor, either. It could be similar to how he argued for punishing the Servicemen."

"Bastard," Axel muttered. "We're shorthanded as it is."

The door to the kitchen opened just then and Larxene headed out, carrying with her a pair of pots. She had to brush Axel to set them down, and I saw both of them flinch away from each other. Then she retreated, placing a hand on a nearby endtable and keeping her eyes downcast. Axel and Marluxia didn't take their eyes off her—Axel's expression was wary, Marluxia's unreadable.

"I don't…I don't know how I'm supposed to face you guys," she murmured after a moment. There was an awkward silence. "I'm sorry," she said then. "For…most of it."

Marluxia dropped his eyes from her then, and I reluctantly looked away. I was still angry—_very_ angry—but I had the strangest kind of pity for her. "Let's forget it," Axel said shortly.

"That's not a solution, Axel," the Dryad informed him. "We'll have to—"

"_It_," the redhead said loud enough to cut him off, "did not happen. Get me?"

There was another silence, and I knew it wasn't forgotten. In fact, Axel probably had no intention of forgetting—but he couldn't deal with it right now, and I could relate. "So, uh. Ansem, right?" I said finally, and Marluxia reached for one of the pots.

"He sucks," Axel declared with a nod. "And we have to hurry home," he added, and I noticed the way he straightened the ring on his finger.

"First, baths," Marluxia suggested. "Those days out on the road have done nothing for your fragrance, Axel. Zexion would choke."

Axel snorted. "You're no rose yourself, Mar."

"Azalea, actually," the Dryad said, rolling his eyes towards the flower blossoming on his forehead.

The Phoenix looked at me then, and there was a glint of triumph in his eyes. "You know what this means, right?"

"What what means?"

He smirked. "We are officially _done_. And things can go right back to normal," he added, brandishing his spoon. "No more trains, no more deserts, and no more dusty _beds_."

"Or gigantic turd monsters," I added with a chuckle. "But there's still plenty to deal with. Let's wait till we get there to start celebrating."

* * *

"I'm sorry."

Axel stared at the girl at the signup station in chagrin. "What?"

"In light of the Cyborg attack, there are no more caravans going out at this time. There's nothing I can do, sir," she said, spreading her hands helplessly.

He turned to lean against the wall, cursing extensively.

"Can't be helped," Marluxia said with a shrug. "We'll have to take the long way."

"I _hate_ the long way," Axel groaned.

"Quit crying and let's go," Larxene snapped, shouldering her bag.

As we fell in behind Marluxia, I leaned in close to Axel. "I _hate her_," I confided from between gritted teeth.

"Join the club," he muttered back.

"What is she, anyhow?" I asked then.

"Siren."

"Oh. Explains the feathers, I guess," I said. "And there are no males?"

"No."

I fell silent for a minute as we walked. "I'm scared to ask."

"It's retractable."

I made a little choked sound and nodded. Larxene did have _extremely_ wide hips.

The station we went to wasn't one of the regulars, which were designed more like subway trains, but a traditional type. Axel reserved us a pair of doubles in the same car—unfortunately it didn't deal in queens, so we'd have to share beds—and promptly went back to sleep. I figure he was still catching up after all the excitement of the caravan, Dlax, Larxene, and all.

Marluxia, Larxene, and I went to dinner instead. "This is _really_ nice," I remarked, running a hand over the leather seat and glancing around at all the ornate designs. I'd never been on a train this luxurious before, and I wasn't sure I ever would again.

The Dryad shrugged. "Scenery's not much, but the service can't be matched."

Just as he said it, the waiter came by. "Three of you?" he asked.

"Yes sir. Do you have the menus?" Marluxia asked the Siren.

"Right here." She drew out three of them and handed them over to the waiter, who inspected each one carefully and nodded.

"One moment."

I stared after him. "Uh, I didn't get a look at those…"

Larxene rolled her eyes. "_We_ don't look at the menus, dipshit. What were you, raised in a barn?"

"I could ask you the same question," I told her sharply. "Or is it good manners here to half-kill your guests?"

"Settle down," Marluxia said shortly. "Larxene, Sora's a human. He isn't well-versed in our culture yet. Sora, you heard what Axel said. Let it go."

"Let it _go_?" I demanded, half-inclined to rise. "I got nailed to her _freaking house_! I can't just let that go!"

"_Sora_," he snapped, and I held my tongue, but I still glared to kill at Larxene. "I already ordered for you," Marluxia continued. "I thought you'd be fine with the riatzche. It's fairly mild."

I wasn't in the mood to talk, and Larxene was looking pissed as usual, so Marluxia was the only one who could've tried for a conversation—but he didn't, so we pretty much sat around and watched the scenery go by. On my left was the battlefield, which evidently got sort of hilly and forested around the edges, and on my right was the prickly cityscape. There was one building in the distance that just didn't seem to get out of view, and I realized it was probably a Tower or Apex.

The food came relatively quickly. Marluxia had some sort of centipede…thing with a side of those orange French fry things I remembered from the food court at the Service, Larxene had a soup with broth the color and consistency of blood, and I had toothpaste.

I'm not kidding. It was toothpaste.

And I told Marluxia so. "It's riatzche," he said in response. "And don't ask for anything else—you could lose half your nest egg here."

They dug in while I considered the riatzche. I could've created the same effect if I took two whole tubes of Crest and just squeezed them into a bowl. Hesitantly, I leaned over and sniffed it.

Fruity. Naturally.

"This," I said to Marluxia, "is _toothpaste_."

"Eat it," Larxene ordered.

I would've thrown it at her face if I didn't think she'd electrocute me then and there. Instead, I gingerly scooped some into the spoon—oh god, why toothpaste of all things?—and licked a smidge off the top…

I must've made a noise, because Marluxia looked concerned and Larxene crooked an eyebrow. "This stuff," I got out after a minute, "is _fantastic_."

"See?" the Dryad said, snapping a leg off the centipede. "I told you you'd like it."

That riatzche was indescribable, especially since the taste shifted somehow so each bite wasn't quite the same as the last. I polished it off—it was significantly more filling than toothpaste would've been, too—and relaxed across the booth like a stuffed turkey, watching the hills go by. "This seems so…rootless," I mused. It felt like we'd been out here for a lifetime, and it was hard to imagine my normal life back at home.

"Zenith _is_ kind of rootless, if you think about it," Marluxia said. "What with the darkness in the way."

I frowned out the window. "So…if darkness is what's under the Tertiary District, how do you guys have hills and trees like that? Wouldn't they be on the actual planet's surface?" I asked.

"Planet?" he repeated, and I figured it was an alien term.

"You know…round," I said, making a vague circular gesture. "Like a ball."

The Dryad exchanged glances with Larxene. "Zenith?"

"_Yes_," I groaned, beginning to get exasperated.

She snorted. "Zenith is flat, stupid."

I had a sudden inclination towards violence, either to her or myself. "You're a bitch, you know," I told her bluntly.

"You're a brat, you know," she shot back.

Muttering something about hypocrisy, I got up and stalked back down the car to our quarters. I was sharing a room with Axel, primarily because Marluxia was the only one who could tolerate _her_, but also because we'd been traveling together long enough that I was comfortable with it. He was reading when I got in there, which seemed like an odd thing for Axel to be doing, but I didn't worry about it and collapsed on the bed instead. "I hate her," I mumbled. It was becoming a mantra. "How long're we stuck here?"

"A week at best," he replied.

I groaned at that. I was really missing Riku now. Axel was fine, but Axel was usually concerned with where we were going, what we were doing—and he still got a little overprotective at times. I needed someone who could _relate_, and I knew Riku would've made faces at the riatzche too, and he would've complained about Larxene, and maybe even want to pull some dangerous prank on her that would get us both killed. He always was bold about that kind of thing, I thought wryly.

"You gonna sleep there, or should I be worried?" Axel asked.

With a laborious sigh, I slid back off the bed and onto my feet. "I'm going to bed, I guess."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just tired."

* * *

I woke with a start, sitting up and gasping in the dark as the train rumbled underneath me. _Chlaxas,_ I thought, running a hand through my hair—and then I remembered that was Axel's thing and stopped. The incident with Chlaxas had bothered me, but I hadn't known her that well. Not to mention it was almost like her death wasn't real to me. I'd only seen her collapse, I hadn't seen her dead eyes, or the blood pooling around her…

Not like in the dream. In the dream she'd been glassy-eyed but never quite dead yet, even when it seemed like she was—and I'd been stuck to the cottage again, helpless. Only this time instead of the stranger throwing up a shield for me, Axel had run in out of nowhere to take the blow.

Speaking of whom, Axel wasn't there. I started out of bed—I wasn't that tired, and I knew the train and the dream both would keep me up—and padded down the carpet to the lounge car. One of the lamps was on, and an old Dryad with a drooping lily on his forehead was reading a magazine, but it looked like the guy had nodded off. Axel was in the corner, and I wouldn't have caught sight of him if he wasn't tossing that blue bauble around again. "Hey," I said, coming closer and dropping into one of the cushiony chairs.

He turned from the window and shot me a wry smile. "Hey."

"Weird dream again?"

The redhead turned his attention to the window again. "Something like that."

"Me too." I hesitated. "It was about Chlaxas this time. She died again, and I…couldn't do anything. And you…" He glanced over at me. "You were being an idiot, as usual. What happened in yours?" I asked to change the subject.

"…I don't want to talk about it."

I blinked. "Really? That bad?"

He didn't answer that. "I wish Roxas was here," he said after a minute.

"Can't you call him?"

"No phones on the train. It interferes with the conducting mechanism," he explained glumly.

"What about the comlink?"

The Phoenix shot me a wry look. "Well, that's not real _private_. And besides, service costs a fortune."

"It must be pretty damn expensive for _you_ to call it a fortune."

He snickered at that, and we fell silent for a few moments. I slowly thought of something I'd been meaning to mention, and wavered back and forth a minute before broaching the subject. "Uh…I don't want to sound like a jerk, but…how is it you and Roxas are so close already?" I asked a little quickly. "I mean, I know you're married and all, but you've already spent more time with _me_ than you have with him."

Smirking, he leaned back against the window. "Are you saying I should fall for you instead?"

I blushed, immediately thinking of that banana thing. "_No_. That's not what I meant and you know it. And I'm about to hit you," I added as his smirk broadened.

"Ooo, better not," he advised, grimacing. "You might catch _the gay_."

"Axel," I groaned.

"Sorry, sorry. I've actually been wondering about that, too," he admitted, scratching the sole of his foot. "I mean, devotions happen out of the blue all the time, but…somehow it felt _right_. It just did. Like it was meant to be, if you don't mind the sap."

I chuckled a little, but it was still bothering me. Why couldn't I just let it go? "Do you, I mean…you don't know him very well yet, do you?"

Axel considered that. "I know he's got a thing for ice cream," he began, "I know he's a sarcastic snerk, and I know I love him. That's about it." He smiled as I struggled with that. "I don't really get it myself. Don't get worked up over it."

There was a sudden warble nearby, and something bright flowed past the window. "Bliss," I realized, coming over to peer through it at them.

"They're following the train," Axel remarked, craning his neck a little to see the one floating just above us. "They're probably attracted to the lights on inside." Then he glanced at me. "You've seen them before?"

"Out in the desert," I told him. "With Chlaxas."

"Oh."

"What are _those_?" I demanded then, leaning forward suddenly and rapping my forehead against the glass. There were glittering red lights above the trees in the distance, glowing in small pulses and occasionally shifting. They almost looked like flowers when they did.

"Beltras," Axel said. "It means there's a Dryad cult nearby. They only come out at night, though." He sat away from the window with a sigh. "The pretty things always come out at night. That's one of the true side's arguments—night, darkness, chaos, you get it."

"But you can't see any of this without light," I pointed out.

He smirked. "Precisely."

We watched them a while longer, and then I realized I was getting tired again. Hopefully I'd dream about bliss instead of Chlaxas. "I'm going back," I told Axel, rising. "You coming?"

"Nah, I'll stay here for a bit," he said. "I slept a lot today."

" 'Kay. Night."

"Night."

* * *

Two monotonous days passed. It was nice on the train, don't get me wrong, but there wasn't much to remark on. It almost didn't feel like Zenith without something crazy happening every other minute. Axel and Marluxia told me a lot of wild stories from earlier times in the Apex, with several about Demyx screwing up, and even Larxene broke in from time to time with a quip about a detail they'd forgotten. And I never did get the hang of ordering for myself; not that it mattered, I just got Marluxia or Axel to get me riatzche. It was impossible for that stuff to get old.

I woke up one morning to discover it was Wednesday, and that's when I realized Axel and I had been on the road for almost a month now. I also realized I was inside a strawberry, since that part was sort of hard to overlook. If you ever find yourself inside a gigantic strawberry, the first course of action is to create an airhole, and then widen it into an escape. But I'd figured out from Axel that the easiest and fastest way to get out is to lean back and curl up, and then push with both feet until the whole thing snaps in half. It'll do it, too, if you push just right.

I managed it this morning, but Axel wasn't so lucky. A foot kicked straight through the side and I heard a muffled curse. "You need any help?" I asked him.

"Nope." He withdrew the foot and erupted out of the top a second later. " 'M good. You sticking around?" he asked, seizing a handful off the top.

"Nah, I'm gonna hit the showers."

"This is breakfast, you know," he pointed out. "They won't be serving anything in the dining car."

I rolled my eyes. "Then I'll grab something from the lounge. I'll be okay." After all, they had donuts in the lounge. At least, I figured they were donuts—they tasted like them, and they looked like them, and there was no reason to believe they weren't, but just the fact that this was Zenith was enough to set me on edge. Not to mention having regular food again was a little strange in and of itself.

The Phoenix snorted. "You mean the assholes?"

I stopped short. "The _what_?"

"The Zoogadyte assholes," he replied, blinking. "You know, the things they've got in the lounge? Round? Sweet?"

"Those are—those are _assholes_?" I choked out.

"Yeah. Zoogadyte assholes," he said expansively, grunting a little as he vaulted out of the strawberry. "They're a delicacy. Zoogadytes are rare. Big slimy things, kinda like an elephant, but with three trunks."

I could only stare at him in shocked silence as he approached. "You mean…you mean I've been eating…!" I let out a strangled garble and coughed, like I could somehow vomit them all up.

"Don't get too broken up about it." He paused next to me and patted me on the shoulder. "I'm screwing with you. They're donuts."

And he moved right on into the bathroom to steal the shower.

* * *

Author's Note: I LOVE Axel. The man's issues have issues and he gives me SO MUCH to play with. Oh—and riatzche is pronounced _ree-AHTZ-juh_. In case you're enough of a nerd that you might actually talk about this with another sentient being. (Like me.)

It's a little premature, but I figured I'd relieve you of the evil Axel-OMG-NO cliffhanger, and it's technically Friday right now. Expect another installment next week until further notice. This one actually ends without any tension, which is good…I forgot we don't plunge right into the next problem, so I can leave it here for a little while if I have to.

Remember: reviews make me happy and keep people alive! (And if you've got questions or comments for the characters—For Larxene: How can you be such a bitch? For Sora: What color is Negra juice? For Axel: Can you give us details on that handjob of Sora's? Etc.—don't hesitate, and I'll kick them into elaborating for you.)


	18. Faraway

**Whups. Sorry, upload issue.**

* * *

It was about noon, and Marluxia, Larxene, Axel, and I were all seated in the lounge car, which was almost completely empty since everyone else was at lunch. We'd had a pretty expansive brunch, though, so I was still feeling pretty full and lazy. It was hard to believe we'd been traveling through a sweltering desert just days ago.

"I'm guessing you guys still remember all the usual positions?"

I snapped out of a daze and glanced at Axel in surprise.

"I'm decent on Zones One through Three, but Four has always been an issue, and Five…" Marluxia frowned. I relaxed a little, blushing.

"Five's hard," Axel agreed.

"As long as Lexaeus is there, Five won't be a problem for me," Larxene said. "Two I'm not so sure about."

"Two I understand," The Phoenix told her, nodding. "But as long as the others are still up there, we shouldn't have to worry about practicing too much."

"What about the new boy?" Marluxia asked then. "The chaotic ones shouldn't be a problem, but the later parts…"

"I'll be his partner. I've been in this awhile, so I know it like the back of my hand," Axel decided.

"Not to mention you wouldn't trust anyone else with him."

"Yeah, that too." The redhead glanced at me and offered me the plate he was holding. "Donut?"

I glared at him.

"Then Xurik's definitely…" Larxene stopped short and looked away sharply. The silence confirmed it, and she bit her lip, trying to focus on the window instead of us.

"I don't see why you care," Axel said sharply. "You hated him, didn't you? If you didn't, why'd you always—!"

"Axel, don't."

I was as surprised as anyone to find that the protest came from my own lips, and he stared at me incredulously. "I don't know," I murmured in response to the unasked question in his eyes. "Just…just don't. All right?"

Larxene rose with a sigh. "I _did_ hate him," she snapped over her shoulder. "I'm just not used to the idea that one of us could…could actually…"

"Let's change the subject," Marluxia suggested firmly, but Larxene had already drifted away and Axel was glaring at the corner, confused and frustrated. So maybe it's a good thing that the comlink clicked on just then.

"So how do I do this?" I heard Riku ask.

"You kinda hafta open it up, like—no no, slow down. You'll tear it," Roxas told him quickly. "OW! Don't shove like that!"

"Sorry, sorry! I thought it'd just slide in. You bleeding?"

"Don't think so…"

I looked up, noticing that Axel was fumbling for his comlink in a panic. "What're you two doing?" he demanded once he had it out. "No—what the _hell_ are you doing?"

"Putting the comlink on the flashlight…?" Riku told him, sounding perplexed.

"What did you think we were—? Oh," Roxas said, and I heard Xigbar burst into raucous laughter in the background. "It's not like you can talk," the Sylph pointed out waspishly.

"What're you guys doing?" I asked in part to take attention away from…_that_.

"Putting the comlink on the flashlight," Riku repeated, annoyed this time.

"I got that part. I meant _why_?"

"Since the two of them are Servicemen, we've decided they are the best candidates to check over the underside," Xemnas explained, coming over loud and clear on another comlink. "Demyx has noticed an interference in the system. At the moment it's blocking us from the Service entirely, and from many of the other Apexes, so Roxas and Riku are the best equipped to deal with whatever is causing it."

Axel exchanged uneasy glances with Marluxia. "You're sending them to the underside," he said slowly.

"That's correct."

"Xemnas, that's retarded."

Roxas scoffed. "_Puh_-lease. Are you gonna tell me you think you're the only one with field experience?" he demanded. "We _always_ had a couple of Croak Heartless in the basement back home, and Riku and I must've fought off another twenty or so at Destiny Islands while you two've been out cruising. We're more than qualified."

"I know you can hold your own against them, nobody's debating that," Axel informed him tightly. "I'm concerned about…about _holes_."

There was a silence.

"Holes?" I repeated, but Axel didn't seem to hear me.

Xemnas sighed. "The Apex is renowned for its structural integrity. The two of them are light enough to be perfectly safe. If things get desperate, however, we won't hesitate to get involved."

The Dryad let out a shaky sigh and sat back. "It's really more prudent to involve a professional, Xemnas," he pointed out.

"Professionals rarely go down there anymore," Axel told him. "The true side's bullshit has them all pissing their pants, and the smart ones just glance at it and scam you outta two thousand pieces."

"Precisely. Which is why we've elected to take matters into our own hands," Xemnas continued. "We will be in constant contact with them, but I don't expect we'll have to intervene."

Marluxia gently pried Axel's thumb from the comlink, and I took the hint and let go of mine. "Does he sound odd to you?" he asked in a low voice, as if afraid Xemnas could somehow still hear him.

Axel shrugged and shook his head. "Ansem did it, whatever it was. I know that much about him. He's probably still upset nothing happened one way or another with the Dryad thing."

The older man frowned. "If it's cut them off from the Service, it's either a lot of little ones en masse, or…"

"One big threat," the Phoenix murmured.

* * *

The comlink was finally in, even if the rubber around it looked a little abused, and Riku shrugged on the red pack he shared with Axel. Xigbar had another flashlight by the door trained on the darkness within, and Demyx was upstairs with the better part of the Organization, trying to get through to the Service for more supplies. In the meantime, the silver-haired boy glanced at Roxas. "You ready?"

"Yeah."

"Watch it, the stairs might be a little slick," Xigbar told them as they passed him, flashlights ghosting along the grimy walls. The stairs _were_ slick, and Riku slipped about halfway down, seizing the railing in a death grip to keep from falling. Roxas whirled and blinded him with the beam of the flashlight when he grunted in pain.

"Fall?" the Sylph asked, relaxing.

"Yeah. This railing's really rusty," Riku muttered, wringing his hand out and then rubbing his palm on his jeans. "Good thing it didn't break."

Roxas grunted distantly and kept going down. "There's goop at the bottom," he reported.

"What kind of goop?"

"Brown goop."

Riku hesitated at the seventh stair from the bottom, scrutinizing the stuff. "Is this what I think it is?" he asked disgustedly.

"I think it's just dirty water. Either way, it means there aren't any holes down here," Roxas told him, and Riku heard the trickling shift of water as the blond waded on.

The silver-haired boy frowned. "What was that with the holes about, anyway?"

"We're on the underside."

"Really, are we."

The Sylph glared back at him. "That's the same thing as being in the Tertiary District. There isn't anything below us, so if we fall, we fall straight into the darkness. It's a long way," he added shortly.

Riku hesitated, a little taken aback. "The Apex extends down that far?" he asked then. "That's so much _space_! How do you guys use it all?"

"Dusks," Xigbar grunted from the comlink. "Somebody's gotta take care of the place."

Riku smirked. "I thought they were _Nobodies_, though."

"Cut the chitchat and focus," Xemnas ordered shortly.

They did, and they kept it up a while, slogging through the sludge aimlessly through room after room. From time to time they'd murmur commands or questions, but for the most part it was just silent proceeding, getting farther and farther from the stairs. At first it really didn't bother Riku—sure, the atmosphere left a lot to be desired, and the smell wasn't much help either—but once he turned and realized that every room looked almost the same as the last, he realized they were going to get turned around. "Roxas, do you know where we're going?" he asked.

"I'll tell you when we get there."

"Well _that's_ informative."

"You're welcome."

Riku glared at the Sylph ahead of him, and then realized they were approaching a narrow hallway. "Let's not go through there," he said quickly.

"Why? Scared?" Roxas asked, smirking at him over his shoulder.

"No. Practical," Riku said defensively. "It's too tight. There's probably some bug's nest in there, and the last thing we need is for one of us to get infested."

"Not to mention what happens in horror movies!" Sora broke in. "The ghost always attacks in tight spaces. Like in Dunham Asylum! You remember that one, Riku?"

Riku groaned faintly. _Exactly_ the movie he'd been trying not to think of. "Not helping, Sora," he imparted from between clenched teeth.

"Stop being a baby and c'mon," Roxas called behind him, waving the flashlight along the narrow walls as he moved on into the hallway.

"I'm _not_," the silver-haired boy insisted, splashing up to follow closely. "Even if this place _is_ fucking scary," he added in a low voice, checking nervously behind him.

There was a long silence. "You can get _scared_?" Sora asked faintly.

"You're not one to talk," Riku replied sharply, immediately defensive. "You'd be crying your eyes out by now. It's creepy as hell down here, so yeah, I'm a little rattled."

Sora snickered. "Hear that, Axel? Riku's _scared_."

"You're gonna get it when you get back here, you know that?" Riku promised darkly, trying to ignore the smothered chuckle he knew was Axel's.

They pressed on, and Riku's shoes were getting uncomfortably soaked. He was also beginning to wonder if this underside didn't just continue on forever—the rooms didn't seem to follow any architectural logic: they just went on and on, morphing into whatever oblong shapes made the least possible sense. The boys had probably started at the very center of the building, but he couldn't tell if they were spiraling outward, heading for one of the edges, or just going in circles. Roxas just seemed to pick a door at random—or, rather, a door_way_, since all the doors seemed to have gone on vacation or something.

The comlink cut back in then with Sora explaining something in a low voice. "—entrails hanging from the ceiling, and the party favors were ears and eyes and things."

"That's fucked up," Axel remarked just as someone else whistled.

Riku rolled his eyes heavenward. "_Sora_."

"Oh! Sorry! Didn't realize!" Sora told him, and then the comlink cut out again. Riku ran a hand down his face and tried really, really hard not to think about the birthday scene in Dunham Asylum.

They moved on to another room, and this one was so large it actually made Riku uncomfortable. The walls were just too far away, and it seemed like something could come out of the darkness at them from any direction. "What're we looking for?" he demanded irritably, anxiety making him waspish.

"Anything unusual," Xemnas replied.

"Unusual. Right." He cast the flashlight around again. "Okay, well, the floor's got muck on it, there's crap all over the walls, on the ceiling—"

He let out a sharp scream and splashed backwards, slipping and falling painfully on his ass as the flashlight disappeared into the sludge. Roxas was bent at his side in an instant. "What's wrong? What happened?" he demanded, even as Xemnas, Sora, Xigbar, and Axel demanded the same thing from the comlinks.

"There…" Riku swallowed and began again. "There's…things…on the ceiling…!" He pointed shakily with a muck-spattered hand.

Roxas barely hesitated before bringing his own beam to bear on the ceiling, and he flinched, looking away sharply. "Leech Heartless," he reported to Xemnas once he got up the nerve to look again. The things were like fat, glinting red spiders with wart-like protrusions, and the ceiling was turning black where the majority of them were clustered together. "That's probably what's causing the disturbance."

"Get rid of them and we can go back up, right?" Riku asked, drawing the Keyblade and suppressing a shiver.

"Yeah. But be careful. They shit acid," Roxas warned.

"Perfect."

Roxas drew out one of his Keyblades and stepped back a bit, keeping the flashlight trained on the ceiling. "Throw a spyurt at them," he ordered. "And watch it. They'll scatter."

Riku was _really_ averse to the idea of forty or fifty gigantic red spiders throwing themselves at him—particularly when they could shit _acid_—and he let out a deeply disgusted sound, shuddering involuntarily.

"What's with you?" Roxas wanted to know.

"I don't…" Riku swallowed hard. "I _don't like_ spiders." Roxas only rolled his eyes at that, and the silver-haired boy grudgingly dug around in the pack for a couple of spyurts and tossed them up.

It had the desired effect.

During the resulting mustard-colored explosion, several insect-like screeches rang out as the Heartless launched themselves at the boys. Riku dove to one side the minute it hit to avoid the artillery of off-white acid that served as a counterattack and smashed blindly at the spiders as they bounced around the room. He glanced at Roxas to see how he was doing only to find that the blond was taking them out with deadly accuracy, slicing through them almost before they got there as if he was able to see it before they did. "Rule of logic!" he shouted at Riku, and suddenly the silver-haired boy understood. It was much easier using the rule, so pretty soon the room was devoid of Heartless, and the two of them shot each other self-congratulatory grins.

"That it?" Riku asked, swinging the Keyblade across one shoulder.

"Should be," Roxas said, starting forward again.

"How'd that go?" Sora wanted to know. "Sounded intense."

"It wasn't an issue. We're fine," Riku added, realizing what Sora was really asking.

"Okay. Just get out of there safe."

"Gotcha."

Roxas let out a bloodcurdling scream.

"What's wrong with him?" Axel demanded immediately, and Sora asked, "Is he okay?" even as Riku rushed to the Sylph's side.

"Roxas! What happened? You all right?" he asked, stopping short as Roxas whirled, shining the flashlight in all directions.

The blond was breathing hard, and his eyes were still haunted as he slowly relaxed. "There…was." He shook his head. "There was this…I don't know. There's something down here, Xemnas," he added quietly. "Something _bad_. I don't…I don't know if we can take this thing."

"What did you _see_," the Superior demanded.

"A boy. Only…only his _face_ was…" Roxas shuddered.

"Apparition," Riku heard Vexen murmur.

"We gotta get down there," Xigbar added.

Xemnas grunted in agreement. "All units move for the underside. Riku and Roxas, meet us at the entrance. Xigbar, you wait on our arrival to proceed."

"Hurry the hell up."

The comlinks cut out, and Riku suddenly felt very alone. "We'd better head back," Roxas said, starting back towards that narrow hallway again.

BANG

"What was that?" Riku hissed as both of them turned their flashlights behind them. They waited like that for a few moments, waving the beams in either direction. Riku noticed that his was shaking a little, and he cursed faintly and clutched the flashlight tighter.

Then they turned back and started walking again. "At least that sludge is gone," Riku muttered.

Roxas stopped short. "What?"

"The sludge, you know." Then Riku realized. "Oh…_shit_."

"There's a hole down here! Do you hear me? There's a _hole_! Keep an eye!" Roxas shouted at the comlink.

"You wait right there for the others!" Axel ordered.

"They do that and they'll be sitting ducks for whatever's down there," Sora pointed out fiercely. "Eyes on the floor, guys."

"Tread _carefully_," came a voice Riku didn't recognize. Then they cut out, presumably so Sora and Axel could argue over the best course of action.

But there was no response from the rest of the Organization.

"No idea what they're thinking, leaving those things behind…" Roxas muttered. "Okay. You do one side, I'll do the other," he said, waving the flashlight to demonstrate. Riku nodded and they walked side by side, each working his own section of floor. It seemed to take a small eternity just to get back to the hallway, and then both beams converged on a figure blocking their way back.

"Okay," Roxas said in a small voice. "I'm scared now."

"What is it?" Sora asked.

"S-something's in the way," Riku told him, not quite trusting his own voice. He let the beam bounce along the floor to make sure there weren't any holes nearby and then took a step forward, his heart beating wildly in his ears.

"What're you _doing_?" Roxas demanded in a low voice.

"We gotta get up there," Riku whispered back to him. "One way or another."

"Don't do anything stupid, Riku," he heard Sora say sharply.

Before he could reply to that a low bellow seemed to emanate from the room itself, making the floor vibrate under their feet. He hesitated, glancing back at Roxas. "It's warning you off," the Sylph told him in a shaking voice.

"That's too bad," Riku muttered, taking another step.

There was a silence as he kept on, willing his feet to take that next step, his heart to keep beating. "You're not scared?" Sora asked softly.

Riku stopped short. "Yeah," he said, smiling in spite of himself. "Of course I'm scared. I'm terrified. But…" He glanced down at the comlink, where his thumb pressed to the center was turning white. "…as long as you're here, I can do anything," he whispered, and tried to believe it.

Roxas gasped, making him look up in surprise. "Riku, watch it—!"

"Where'd it g—?" The silver-haired boy cut off into a cry of pain as something collided with his chest, sending him flying. He hit the ground and lay there, dazed, as he heard Roxas shout in alarm. Then the Sylph let out an agonized scream, and the older boy lurched to his feet. "Roxas!" he shouted, running back towards the hallway, and—

Nothing was underneath him.

Riku was just in time to catch the edge of the hole, and the flashlight went spinning into the nothingness below, illuminating nothing but miles of darkness in every direction. He stared down at it in horror as it simply disappeared, never hitting and never going out.

* * *

"Riku! Are you there?" I shouted again, trying to keep my voice from shrilling.

"Keep _quiet_," Axel growled. "Something's happening. They've got to focus," he added, even though he was holding back and I knew it.

"What the hell is _that_?" I heard Riku scream from somewhere far off.

"Oh my _god_—hang on! Hang on, Riku!" Roxas yelled. I heard running footsteps, a thunderous crack—

Radio silence.

We waited in shock, not quite daring to say anything. Axel rose then, bringing the comlink close. "Roxas!" he said once, sharply. "Riku! One of you answer me!"

Neither did. Axel waited for a few moments, running a hand through his hair, and bit his lip. "C'mon, guys," he whispered, and it was a plea this time.

"…guys okay?"

"Sounded like…getting something from…"

"…there? Axel?"

"Demyx," the Phoenix realized, and I felt the same slight relief. "Did you find them? Are they okay?"

"No, we had an issue," the Naiad explained.

"Mulch Heartless at the entrance," Xigbar put in. "Big one. Something was interfering with the comlinks, too. Are Riku and Roxas okay?"

"That's what we're trying to find out!" Axel snapped. "They just cut out. Something was attacking them."

"It sounded like something happened to Riku," I added in a quavering voice.

Xigbar sighed heavily. "Your guess is as good as mine. We've split up—Xemnas, Xaldin, Luxord, Zexion, and Lexaeus are headed south, and Demyx, Saix, Vexen, and I are checking northeast. Those are the only two ways they could've gone."

"Roxas says there's a hole down there, so keep on your toes," Axel told him.

Demyx made an uncomfortable sound. "That must be why the sludge is gone," he murmured. "Maybe the hole's in a corner somewhere?" he added hopefully.

"It would still drain out if that were the case," Saix remarked. "Let's hope."

"Xemnas, we got a hole. You copy?" Xigbar hesitated. "Superior? You there?"

"…hear me? The comlinks seem to…difficulty."

"We hear you, you hear us?"

"Affirmative. We'll keep our eyes peeled," Xemnas replied finally.

That gave way into silence, and Axel, Marluxia, and I waited with bated breath. Larxene had come over, too, and was curled up in one of the chairs, her lips pursed tightly and her eyes wide. It was torture having only the rustle of clothing and the occasional murmur to listen to when Roxas had screamed like that, when Riku had sounded so far away…

"I don't think they came this way," Xigbar said after a minute. "This is a waste of time, they must've gone south…"

"They could have come this way, and that's enough reason to check," Vexen told him icily.

"Too bad Axel's not here or we'd be able to see," Demyx remarked.

Xigbar chuckled. "We don't find Roxas soon and he'll find a way to get here five days early."

"I can hear you, you know."

"Axel says he can hear us."

"Can he now?" Saix asked mildly.

"Could you guys be a little more serious about this?" the redhead asked, sounding strained. I looked up in time to see him run another hand through his hair.

"Yeah, we…" I started, but then a lump rose in my throat and I didn't trust myself to go on.

"We're doing all we can, here," Xigbar said gently. "Trust us. No no, this way—Roxas wouldn't have picked that way, rule of thumb."

"Oh. Right," Saix said, and they fell silent again.

"Is there anything up there?" came an iron voice I knew as Zexion's.

"Can't see," a strong English accent replied. That had been Luxord, I thought foggily, the names running together in my head.

"Give me a boost, Lexaeus."

Someone unfamiliar grunted, and then there were a few hollow taps as Zexion checked something over. "Nothing we can use," he reported. "It should have left a record if—wait—!" Then he let out a startled gasp just as something screeched loudly. There was a heavy-sounding thud.

"Zexion! What happened?" Xaldin demanded.

"It got his face, it got his face, step back," Xemnas ordered just as Zexion let out a sharp grunt of pain.

"Damn, it went right for his nose…"

"Must've known he was a Lampade."

"Where is it?"

"On the ceiling, look—!"

"I got it," came a deep, rumbling voice, and I heard a solid crunch.

"What happened?" Xigbar asked them.

"Leech Heartless," Xaldin replied. "They must've missed one. I think we're on the right track."

"Squits," Zexion murmured weakly.

"Right here. Hold on," came that deep voice again.

"Can he stand? We have to keep going. They're close," Xemnas said in a tight voice.

"Is Zexion okay?" Demyx asked in a small voice.

"I'm _fine_."

"All _right_, sorry…"

"We should probably get over there," Saix said.

"No. You four stay on that trail until I tell you different," the Superior ordered. "We could still be wrong, and we can't afford to miss them."

"Yes, Superior."

There was another long silence. I curled up on the couch and watched the clock while Axel got up to pace and Marluxia and Larxene exchanged nervous glances. _Before the third hand reaches the six, Riku will say something,_ I thought, and waited. _Before it hits the twelve, we'll hear from them,_ I thought again when it hit the six. I finally squeezed my eyes shut and focused on breathing.

**As long as you're here, I can do anything.**

_But I'm not there anymore, Riku…_

Demyx gasped. "Oh _shit_!"

"What happened?" Axel snapped immediately, with Xemnas echoing the question a second later.

"Guardian Heartless at the end of that hallway," Xigbar muttered. "Positions. Saix, cover me."

Axel let out a low sigh as we heard them shout orders and grunt with effort as they engaged the thing. "Tough stuff, Guardians," he muttered.

"You think that's what Riku and Roxas could've run into? They said something was in their way…" I mused, trying to remember. It was difficult to think about anything before the moment when the comlink cut out.

"Demyx, take the lead! Douse it! _Douse it now_!"

There was a thundering deluge, and Xigbar shouted a few more orders as they dashed from area to area, still attacking and defending. After a few moments, though, there was a low bellow and a shuddering thud. "Got him!" the Cyborg whooped, laughing. "You're amazing, Demyx!"

"Axel would've handled that better," the Naiad protested weakly.

"Oh shut up, you know I can't pull off a direct offense against those things," Axel said, grinning faintly.

"He nailed it," Xigbar added. "You should've seen it. Xemnas couldn't've done it."

"Let's not get carried away," Saix said a bit testily.

"So it's dead, right?" I asked, unable to keep from speaking up any longer. "Do you see them anywhere?"

They fell silent, and I heard them shifting. "Nothing," Demyx said with a sigh.

"Hole off to the side there," Xigbar pointed out. "Watch out for that."

"Over here," Vexen said then, and my heart leapt.

"Is that…?"

"That's…!"

"Blood," the Jotun said quietly. "Not a lot, but it's there. We're on the right track."  
"We'll come to you," Xemnas said shortly, and then his comlink cut out.

"Blood doesn't tell me much," Axel said, beginning to panic. "What's it like? What kind of wound?"

"Axel," Marluxia said quietly, and shook his head to deter him.

"Assuming the victim was standing here, splatter says it was a hit to the shoulder, chest, or upper arm," Vexen reported anyway. "Weapon of choice was most likely…" There was a rustle, and then he let out a faint sigh. "Claws."

"Claws?" I repeated, feeling my heart beat even faster.

"How many?" Axel demanded.

"Two."

"_Shit_!"

"What is it? What's that mean?" I demanded shrilly.

He was too busy pacing and cursing and running his hands through his hair to reply for an agonizingly long minute or so, and Marluxia and Larxene looked shocked into silence. "Three claws to a foot would've meant a Reaper Heartless," he said quietly. "They could've handled one of those. But two…" He shook his head.

"Lynx Heartless," Larxene whispered, looking haunted.

"It would be able to see them coming before they hit it," Marluxia added. "They wouldn't stand a chance."

"_Find them_," Axel said firmly. "Hurry! We might already be too late!"

"Stand down," came Xemnas's voice, and my heart sank.

"_WHAT_?" the Phoenix demanded, his eyes burning.

"Stand down, and wait for us to join you," the Superior repeated. "You are in inestimable danger. The rule of logic will not apply to a Lynx Heartless."

"You're just gonna leave them?" I exploded then. "They—they could be dying right now! You can't just _abandon_—"

"Sora, there are more lives at stake here," Xemnas said sharply from between clenched teeth, "and I will _not_ see to the loss of any other members. We will go after them again once we've regrouped."

I heard a low, impatient grunt. "Superior, with all due respect, _fuck off_."

"Xigbar!" Saix remonstrated.

The Cyborg hesitated, and I could almost _feel_ Xemnas's rage through the comlink. "Yeah, it's a Lynx Heartless," he continued. "Yeah, I'm scared to death of it, but damned if I'm gonna let someone die while I wait around doing nothing. You guys do what you want, but I'm moving on."

"I'm coming with you," Demyx said immediately.

A few moments passed, and then Xemnas sighed. "Very well. Proceed if you must, but do so with _extreme caution_."

"Always, Superior," Xigbar grunted, and the whole group lapsed into silence again as both sections kept moving.

I got up and went to the window, and then moved back to the couch, trying not to think too hard about what might be happening to Riku right now. This was _torture_. This was an awful anxiety I'd never felt before, coupled with a feeling of helplessness that almost brought me to my knees. I was so far away, so _damned_ far away, and there was absolutely nothing I could do but wait—and waiting was unendurable.

"Roxas's flashlight," Demyx said quietly.

"Comlink's busted," Xigbar added. "Where _are they_?"

Precious seconds filtered away with nothing but the wet slap of footsteps and low murmur of voices for reassurance.

"Vexen, come look at this," Saix said abruptly, and his voice sounded unusually tremulous for Saix.

I waited, wanting to know but unable to ask, and at the same time scared I _didn't_ want to know. Clothing shifted, there were a few footsteps, Demyx whimpered…

"There's _so much_," Xigbar whispered. "Could they…could anyone survive after losing that much?"

"It's _everywhere_," Demyx said faintly, sounding like he was about to cry. Then he choked. "Is that…is that Roxas's—?"

"Looks that way," Saix said grimly. "What happened here?"

I curled up, pressing my face into my arms. "I can't do this," I heard Axel murmur. "I can't…I can't do this again…!"

"They're okay, Axel," I told him in a muffled voice, trying to sound stronger than I felt. "I know they're okay. They…they've gotta be!" I said, looking up and sniffing.

"Demyx, look out—!"  
The Naiad screamed, and then the comlinks cut out.

"Demyx!" Axel shouted just as Xemnas as the others voiced similar demands and Marluxia and Larxene both made their way over to him to call for them, too. The redhead shook the comlink like he thought something was wrong with it. "Xigbar! Saix! _Demyx_!"

It slowly tapered off into silence, and Axel sank to the floor as the other two stepped back, Larxene clutching her mouth in shock. "_No_," the Phoenix choked out, his face contorted with anguish, and then he buried it in his hands.

I got up unsteadily, setting the comlink down on the table as I passed it. "Bathroom. Lemme…lemme know if…" I said, but I couldn't get out anything more. I passed on through the lounge without really seeing it and shut the door behind me. Then I turned—

—and cried. Shamelessly, deeply, and utterly cried from the bottom of my being.

* * *

Author's Note: Before you go running off to YouTube to search "Dunham Asylum birthday scene," that's complete bullshit and I made it all up. It's also a very subtle reference that maybe two people get and maybe one person will smirk at. And unfortunately enough, I'm going to miss next week's deadline because we're going on vacation again.

But you guys know I'm gonna wring reviews out of you one way or another. Since you don't have questions for me or the cast, I figure I'll do something radical and pose some questions for _you_. **Who are you liking the most thus far, and which scene/s are your favorite?**

In the meantime, though, we've made loads of progress. The stumbling block at chapter twenty-two has been taken care of courtesy of our lovely Superior, Roxas pulled a 180 on us and now one of the key scenes is going to go far differently than expected, we've finally worked out all the details of the Exchange, and someone sent me some lovely, lovely feedback that made my heart do crazy backflips and things. Which basically means that we're celebrating. To Sora, our tireless narrator! (clinks glasses with Axel)

**For Snow and Shadow, assuming you guys are bored enough to read this**: This is where it should be abundantly clear that the Supernatural influence has taken root. In my defense, we were headed in that direction before Supernatural ever got in on the scene, and the Reaper Heartless is based on the Reaper from Beyond Good and Evil, NOT the one that pestered the Winchesters—but I noticed the similarity afterward and cursed to myself extensively.


	19. Moments on Another Side

**It's that day, people. But deadlines will be up in the air until I get some things sorted out. THANKS A TON, ANSEM.**

* * *

"What the hell is _that_?" Riku demanded of the nothingness below, too shocked to move for several seconds. Then he felt the floor begin to crumble under his hand, and he swung the other arm up to grab the edge, grunting in pain as his shoulder throbbed from hitting the ground earlier.

"Oh my _god_—hang on!" Roxas called, his voice shrill with panic. "Hang on, Riku!"

Riku pulled himself up to his shoulders, scrabbling at the slippery floor with both hands and only too aware of the dizzying emptiness below him. In a second he could fall and… _No, don't think that. If you fall, Sora'll cry, and you HATE it when Sora cries…_

Roxas bolted over to him just as a thunderous crack resounded, and Riku realized in horror that a rift was spidering around the section he was clinging to. The Sylph slid straight onto it as the flashlight smacked into the wall with a flash of electricity, and he seized Riku's hand and tugged. Adrenaline burst through his system as the silver-haired boy got to his feet, feeling the floor dip under him even as the Sylph pulled him to safety. "You okay?" Roxas wanted to know, breathing hard.

"I—yeah. Yeah."

"Good. I…I need," the blond got out, dropping his head straight into Riku's shoulder, and that's when Riku noticed the nasty gash in Roxas's arm. Roxas was clinging to it with the other hand like he was afraid the whole arm would fall off if he let go—which was a possibility, Riku thought, catching the white glint of bone.

"Here," he said quickly, fumbling shakily for some healing agents and slipping them one after another into the Sylph's forehead. Roxas relaxed as they went to work on his arm and straightened once Riku added a few stimulants.

"Thanks." Roxas glanced around for their attacker, dipping to retrieve the flashlight. "We're okay," he said into the comlink. "Do you copy? Xemnas! Axel! Xigbar!" he called, shaking it.

"Is it broken?"

"Looks that way," Roxas muttered, clicking on the flashlight. By its light, they could see the comlink had cracked down the middle and there was a sliver of it missing. "Shit. I'm out of ideas," the Sylph said, glancing back at the hallway. He brought the beam over to find the figure standing there again, just as dark and menacing as before. As if in response, it let out a soft bellow.

"Mine kinda sucked," Riku admitted.

"Yeah it did. I guess we'd better wait around, or—GAH!"

Riku defended with the Keyblade as Roxas crashed into the wall and something hollow rang out against the floor. He felt something like claws shriek against the metal. There was also _heat_ nearby—was that the same thing? What _was_ this?

There was a deep, rasping hiss, and then it backed off. Riku whirled about in darkness for a few moments, barely making out the figure at the hallway and the hole towards the center of the room. Finally he turned back to Roxas. "How do you feel?" he asked, already reaching for the kit.

"Lopsided," Roxas told him, gasping a bit, and Riku realized that one of the Sylph's horns was gone. But Roxas shook his head when he drew out the healing agents. "Save them. This…this thing…" His face was white as he looked up into Riku's eyes, blood trickling starkly down the side of his face. "It only has two claws. Rule of three…rule of three…"

"What _is_ the rule of three?" Riku demanded, taking him by the shoulders. Roxas hissed in pain as the silver-haired boy grazed the twin slashes across his chest, and he jerked back. "Sorry."

"Things happen in multiples of two," Roxas got out, struggling to stand and accepting Riku's help. "This thing isn't a Reaper Heartless like I thought. I don't…I don't know what it's called, but we're supposed to avoid this kind."

"The others don't know that," Riku realized in horror.

"No. And we can't get out," Roxas added.

Riku glanced back at the figure blocking them. "What does it _want_?" he demanded as if he really believed it had a reason that would make sense.

"Don't know, don't care," Roxas said, training the beam back towards the other door. "Let's keep going this way. Maybe that other thing will stay here."

They started walking, each glancing about and starting at the slightest sound or flicker of movement. Riku dearly wished he hadn't dropped his flashlight—relying on only one was more than a little nerve-wrenching, and he was also completely cut off from Sora and Axel now.

There was a sharp hiss from nearby. "Run!" Riku shouted, and took off—but it already had him, and he hit the wall, feeling fire streak up his side. Those claws _burned_—and now they hit him again, tearing up and down his body, and the pain doubled and tripled as the wounds crisscrossed one another…

"Riku! Riku!"

He looked up through the haze of pain to discover that somewhere between then and now the thing had backed off, and now Roxas was slipping something into his forehead. "Riku, stay with me!"

"I'll be okay," he said thickly, vision blurring a little as the sedative effect from the healing agents set in. "It's healing up. I'll be okay," he repeated, like that would make it true.

"All right. Up, up," Roxas said desperately, pulling at his arm, which Riku realized was slippery with blood. The Sylph slung it across his shoulders and clung to it with one hand, searching for Riku's belt with the other. Riku figured he must've been drifting in and out of it, because the sensation of Roxas tugging him along was more than a little familiar. "Where do we go?" the blond asked in a shaking voice.

"I'm not sure," Riku murmured, still woozy. "You, um…you lead."

"But I don't…know…!" Roxas glanced back and forth, panting and clearly distraught.

"Next room, next room," Riku said finally. "Keep going. We're not done."

The next room was smaller, but Riku still had to squint to make out the walls. That's when he realized they'd left the flashlight, but he didn't care about it enough to mention it to Roxas. "Think they'll find us here?" the Sylph murmured.

"Dunno. As long as we're safe from that thing, I don't much care, either."

Right on cue, there was a low hiss behind them. Roxas froze. "No," Riku heard him murmur. "No—wait—no—!"

Riku cursed sharply even as Roxas shoved him to one side, and then he shouted loudly in pain as he hit the ground, waves of excruciation undulating over his entire body. He was so focused on them that it was a minute before he realized Roxas was screaming in agony and there were tearing sounds and something was splattering nearby…

Roxas kept screaming even after it was over, ending in an anguished squall that didn't seem to stop—it only rose to a pitch out of the human hearing range and diminished into a choked sob. With effort, Riku got up on his hands and knees, smelling that overwhelming scent of iron and feeling the warm squelch between his fingers that he knew was blood. "Roxas," he whispered, crawling to the boy's side. "Say…say something."

"Healing," Roxas croaked, his voice hoarse and trembling with the onset of tears. "Healing…_please_ healing…"

"I'm on it," Riku promised, reaching back for them as he finally reached the blood-soaked bundle that was Roxas. In the glow from the green stimulants, he caught sight of the Sylph's face and jerked away sharply. Roxas was mangled almost beyond recognition, and Riku's stomach turned as he looked back up, breathing shallowly and trying to find the forehead in all that. Somehow he did, and he heard Roxas let out a shuddering sigh as the healing agents went to work. Knowing he still wasn't lucid himself, Riku slipped a few stimulants into his own forehead and checked around for the thing again. "We can't stay here," he whispered.

"Healing," Roxas whimpered.

"We're out, Roxas. I'm sorry." He looked back at the Sylph, grimacing at the ruined body sprawled on the floor. Roxas couldn't see him, Roxas probably couldn't even hear him, it was a wonder the boy could enunciate at all… "I'm gonna get you out of here," he said, seized with a sudden determination. "I _promise_ I'll get you out of here."

A mutilated hand closed around his. "Let's go," Roxas whispered.

Riku nodded, biting his lip, and gave him a once over to see how he could manage this with the least amount of pain. "You…" He closed his eyes against the tears, cursing faintly. "Roxas, you're gonna leave some…things behind."

"S'okay," the Sylph said, his voice still a whisper. "Squits later. Go…_now_."

"All right." Riku glanced around again, his heart beating in his throat. "All right. Hold still, this is gonna hurt…"

Roxas bit back a scream as the older boy lifted him, and Riku staggered out of the room with red-gold strands resting at his ear and a frighteningly light body clutched in his arms. He made it through one room, then another, and then a third, but by the fourth room he knew he couldn't go on. It had already been an unbearable eternity of throbbing and panting and dripping, and Riku gently set Roxas down by the wall. He straightened, feeling too exhausted even to collapse.

"_Healing_," the Sylph repeated plaintively.

"I'm sorry, Roxas," Riku whispered.

Roxas's head lolled forward and he started to cry. Riku only listened, waiting and bleeding, bleeding and waiting, until the two became one and the same sensation. Then, just when he was sure it was over, just when he thought this might really be it—

"Voices," he realized, looking back and hearing the shouts and thuds that meant a fight was underway. "Roxas, they're here," he murmured, tottering a little and beginning to smile. "They've found us! We're gonna make it out!"

Something was wrong.

"Roxas?" he repeated faintly, willing himself to bend down somehow and hissing in pain against the wounds in his chest and back. The Sylph said nothing. Riku stared into the boy's face, his lips parting in horror. "Roxas, _no_! No, you can't do this to me! Don't you _dare_—!" He looked up sharply, making a strained, impatient sound, and then tore off in the direction of the voices. "Xemnas!" he shouted. "Xemnas! Roxas is—!"

And, impossibly, he slipped. Whether it was on blood or the residue from the sludge or some other greasy slime he never knew, but he slipped and fell forward, landing hard on the ground and hitting his head on the doorframe. Stars flickered in front of his eyes as he groaned and struggled to rise. Was something broken? No, he could move now…_get up_…everything hurt, everything hurt so much…if he could just…_get up, you're not gonna die here_…the world blurred as he twisted, tried to get his arms and legs under him, it was like he'd forgotten _how_…it was so hard it almost seemed impossible…_think of Kairi, what'll she do if you give up now_…it would be so easy to stop, to just lie back…_Sora's waiting for you, don't you dare let him down, don't you_…getting foggy now…hard to think…_No! NO! I REFUSE TO DIE!_

Riku bit down and let out a little sob. It was too much. It demanded too much and it sucked too much and it _hurt_ too much, and he couldn't do it. He absolutely couldn't. _I'm not dead yet,_ he thought desperately, knowing they were here, knowing they were coming, any second now and they'd see him…

A low, guttural hiss filled the room.

"Oh no," he moaned. It was over. It was all over and it would end here, in this dingy underside caked with dirt and blood. _Roxas, I'm sorry,_ he thought, squeezing his eyes shut.

* * *

I went back inside after a while, hoping my eyes weren't as red as they felt. "Heard anything?" I asked Axel, rubbing self-consciously at them.

"Not yet," he replied. He was sitting by the window, the blue bauble clenched tightly in his hand. Larxene and Marluxia sat with the comlinks, occasionally calling for Demyx or one of the others to answer. I could hear Xemnas shouting orders to the others and frantic footsteps as they ran through the rooms in search of the rest, but those frequently cut out and back in. I sat back down in an armchair, resigned to wait, and spent the next half hour in what felt like hell.

"…looks really bad."

Axel looked up sharply. "Xigbar?" he said, rising.

"We…" Demyx's voice. Axel and I both crossed to the couch, unable to believe our ears. Demyx drew in a shaky breath and continued.

"We found them."

I had to grab a nearby chair to keep from falling over. "What?" I whispered.

"Are they all right? What happened? Can they talk?" Axel wanted to know.

"Riku's…" Demyx hesitated. "Riku's alive, but…"

_Riku's alive,_ I thought, sighing so heavily I nearly collapsed right there. But then I thought of Roxas, and dread curdled in my stomach.

"Thank _god_. And Roxas?" Axel demanded, his expression fierce.

There was a silence.

"What about Roxas? You're killing me, Demyx!" the Phoenix shrilled, gritting his teeth.

"…I don't know yet. They're in bad shape, Axel. Really bad."

"_How_ bad?"

"Honestly, I…I can't imagine it getting much worse," Demyx said quietly, his voice verging on tears. "Axel, I…I don't think…"

The redhead fell silent, his eyes glazing over. Slowly, he dropped to his knees, his hands fisting in his hair. I would have gone to him, but I suddenly felt cold all over, like I'd lost something more precious than I ever realized.

"I need some squits in here!" Vexen yelled then. "_Now_!"

There was a flurry of motion and shouts of alarm as the others hurried to accommodate him. "I gotta go," Demyx said shortly. "I'll get back to you as soon as we've got them upstairs."

"No—no, Demyx, you can't do that to us—!" But the comlink had already cut out, and I let my hands fall to my sides. _Riku's alive, but…_ What had Demyx been about to say? But he's in pieces? But he's dying? Worse? _But Roxas is dead,_ I thought, and felt that coldness again. He wasn't…he _couldn't_ be…

"Axel, Axel," Marluxia said softly, reaching up—and he did a funny thing, placing his fingers on Axel's temple and gently snapping his head to one side. The Phoenix let out a low sigh and collapsed against him. It took me a minute to realize Axel had fallen asleep, and then the Dryad carefully lifted him and deposited him on the couch. "We'll wake him when we hear more," he said quietly.

"Why'd you…?" I asked, almost wishing Marluxia could do the same thing to me. Oblivion seemed far preferable to this agonizing wait, completely blind and deaf to everything happening in pear—but at the same time, if I went to sleep, I might miss something important. _Like Riku's last words._ A lump rose in my throat. _No_—he was going to be _okay_, he had to be—if he wasn't…

Marluxia was brushing Axel's hair out of his eyes. "If I let him stay up, he would probably incinerate the car."

I couldn't help chuckling a little at that, but felt it turn too quickly into a sob. I clenched inward, shaking both with grief and the effort of keeping it all contained. We waited—it seemed like we hadn't done anything else today, and it already felt like a thousand years rolled into twenty-four hours. After a long while, Marluxia crossed to my side and placed a hand on my head. "Don't be afraid," he whispered.

Then the world spun into darkness.

* * *

I was lying on something and Axel was nearby, I thought—if that red blur was any indication—and someone was speaking…

"…given him plenty of squits and healing agents, but the rest is up to him," Demyx was saying.

"Fine. Keep us posted," Marluxia replied, and I saw him pass between us briefly.

"Axel's waking up," came Larxene's voice from far away. "Should we tell them?"

"No. There's no good news as yet, so let them sleep."

"There might not _be_ any good news," Larxene pointed out, sounding subdued.

"No," the Dryad agreed somberly. He crossed to Axel's side, and it seemed like someone suggested I drift off again, so I did. I was standing high up in a tower of some sort, cold and dark, and a person walked out from within me. It was Roxas, I realized, and he turned and said something—something important, but I couldn't hear what it was.

Someone was shaking me awake then. I looked up blearily into Axel's eyes, blinking and trying to catch up with what all had happened. It took several seconds for whatever he was saying to make sense to me. "They're gonna be okay!" he said, unable to keep from grinning. "Riku and Roxas both! _They made it, Sora_!"

I stared at him without comprehending for a moment, and then I let out a joyous scream, vaulting off the couch and leaping up and down like I'd completely lost my mind. Suddenly I was hugging Axel, hugging Marluxia—Larxene, even—screaming, laughing, crying—_They're okay,_ I thought through the euphoria. _They're really okay!_

"Can I talk to them?" I asked then, looking up at Axel from where I was still clinging to him.

"Can't yet," he said apologetically. "They're resting. But Demyx says they want to talk to us, so we'll get in touch the minute they wake up."

_That's too long,_ I thought anxiously, but there wasn't much to be done about it. For now, at least, it would have to be enough that they were alive and that, in just a few more eternities, we'd finally see them again.

"What about Demyx and the others?" I asked, managing with difficulty to sit back down and not fidget too much. "They fought the…that one Heartless, right?"

"Yeah, they did," he said, sobering. "That thing nearly got them. The way Demyx tells it, Saix was down, Xigbar was barely standing, and he and Vexen were in really bad shape. Demyx managed to catch it at exactly the right angle and killed it. He's convinced it was an accident, but we all know better," he added with a wry smirk.

"And that's when they found them?" I pressed, almost as if I couldn't quite believe it yet.

"They found Riku," he corrected. "The Lynx Heartless backed off, and they figured it was its nature—the things have a kind of on and off tactic—but it turns out it was about to rip into him again. They caught it just in time, and then they followed the trail of…of blood to Roxas a couple rooms down," he added quietly. "They…they figured he was dead. He wasn't breathing, and he was so torn up they couldn't even…"

I winced sharply. My imagination was already hard at work conjuring up images of them, broken and bleeding, and I wished the train could move _faster_—or that Xemnas had picked someone else to go with Axel, or that none of this had ever happened to begin with and Riku and I were still safe at the islands.

Then Axel sat back, and I couldn't help smiling wryly. _If none of this ever happened, I wouldn't have met him,_ I remembered. Or Roxas, for that matter—not to mention the others at the Apex. Getting attached to someone is taking the risk of losing them, I thought firmly, and now that risk seemed more real than ever before.

"What're you grinning about?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

I dropped my head back against the armrest and gazed over at him, feeling unusually solemn. "Just wondering what I'd do if anything ever happened to you," I told him frankly. Then I braced myself for the gay joke.

He smiled instead. "Welcome to my world."

* * *

Demyx finally contacted us at exactly midnight, which was perfectly fine because neither I nor Axel had the patience to try to sleep. "Roxas is still sleeping," he explained. "He really caught the worst of it. But Riku's up now, if you want to talk to him."

"Roxas _is_ gonna be okay, though, right?" I asked a little anxiously, knowing that would be Axel's next question if it wasn't mine.

"Yeah. They both pulled through. Riku could be on his feet tonight if he wanted, and Roxas should be walking around by tomorrow afternoon."

"All right, let him on," Axel said, and I heard another one click in.

"Hey."

It took me several seconds to comprehend that, to realize Riku had just said that word—_Riku_—and that familiar voice, that smirk, that glint in his eyes, all of it was still there. "Hi," I half-whispered, almost choking on the word and blinking back tears.

In the silence that followed, I knew we were both slowly realizing that we might have lost this moment. We might not have been able to hear one another's voices again, and we were both scared beyond words of that possibility. I clutched the comlink a little closer. "You, um…" I sniffed a little, mortified that I did. "You okay?" I asked in as normal a voice as I could manage.  
"Yeah," he replied, and he sounded a little unusual. Maybe his voice was fainter, or maybe he was slurring a little—I couldn't put my finger on what exactly it was, it was just…_different_. "I got sliced to ribbons and managed to give myself a concussion, but I'm fine."

"Squits are cool like that," Axel remarked lightly.

"Oh, and I almost fell down a hole—"

"_What_?" Axel demanded, and I whimpered, squeezing the comlink in a death grip.

"Yeah. Freaked me the fuck out."

"What exactly happened?" I said. "From the beginning."

He let out an exaggerated sigh. "_Okay_, let me think." There was a pause. "That thing—Guardian Heartless, I think Xemnas called it—was attacking us, and something was hitting Roxas. I guess it was that other thing. So I was running, and all of a sudden I just _fell_. But I managed to grab the side of it. I'm fine, Sora. I'm fine. Remember that."

"I know," I murmured.

"No, you don't. I can hear you hyperventilating from here."

I dropped my head down onto the bed in defeat. "Well sorry for being scared out of my mind," I grumbled, injured.

He let out a tender sigh. "I'm sorry. I'm not thinking, of course you're upset—and it only gets worse from here."

I looked up sharply, trying to imagine something worse than falling into a darkness that went on forever. "Worse? How w—bad?"

"Maybe I should save this for when you get back," he said uncomfortably.

"Tell us now," Axel ordered.

"Yeah."

"Fine. So I fell, and Roxas got me out of there, but that was…" There was a long moment. "That was scary," he said quietly. "Then we were leaving—or, no—Roxas got attacked. Bastard took off one of his horns, and that's when we realized it was something really, really bad. It went after me next, which _hurt_—and then it…"

"And then it what?" I whispered when he didn't say anything for several moments.

"It went after Roxas again, and…Sora, I…I've never _seen_ anyone so…" I was horrified to realize he was actually fighting back tears, and I let out a little helpless, hurt sound. "It really…it really massacred him. I must've been running on adrenaline, because…I don't think I could carry him if I saw him like that now. I don't think I could even touch him—I wouldn't know _how_ and not…and not…_kill_ him."

"But you got him out of there," Axel said gently.

"Yeah. I promised him I would, so…" Riku chuckled brokenly, sniffing.

"Did you get to see the others when they found you?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"No, actually. I heard them coming and Roxas was…so I ran to get them, and…and the thing…" He let out a ragged sigh. "I must've blacked out. The next thing I knew I was waking up here, and Vexen said I could talk to you if I rested awhile."

I relaxed. "So you're okay now."

"Mostly, yeah."

"What's mostly?"

"Everything still stings, and I'm really dizzy—I think I lost a lot of blood, or maybe it was when I hit my head—but they say I should be back to normal by tomorrow." I heard him relax and the faint shrill of a sheet shifting, and then he yawned.

"Did you try the rule of logic on that thing?" Axel asked then.

"I don't know. Roxas might've," Riku replied, sounding tired. "But I don't think we really had time. It was all happening so fast…"

"And how _is_ Roxas?"

I could almost see Riku smirk. "And how'd I know you were going to ask that?"

"No idea. Must be psychic," Axel grunted, clearly not in the mood for games.

"He's fine, he's fine," Riku said dismissively. "It's probably still stinging for him, too, but he pulled through the tough part, which means it's all uphill from here. Horn's back, too. I didn't know squits could manage that part."

"Sylph horns grow with the Sylph," Axel said, shrugging. "And I told you squits are cool like that."

I could tell Riku was really getting tired, and I exchanged glances with Axel. I wasn't quite ready to stop talking, but I couldn't very well expect him to stay up forever, especially after all that excitement. "Okay, well, I guess we'll let you go. Rest up, okay?"

"Nonsense," he mumbled. " 'M not even tired yet."

"Riku, go to bed, okay? We'll talk in the morning," Axel said.

"_Stay_ in bed," I added, grinning. "Until I get there. No bathroom breaks, either."

"You're worse than Kairi," he muttered.

"And I don't have to tell you you're hereby banished from the underside forever," the Phoenix told him sharply.

"I think the word you're looking for is 'forbidden,'" he said dryly.

"Whatever. You can't go there. Got it memorized?"

"Like I'd want to," he groaned, but I could hear him smiling. "Night, guys. Try not to worry too much, it's bad for your sperm count."

"_What_?" I demanded, shocked and amused at the same time, and I heard Axel dissolve into laughter behind me. But Riku didn't answer that, and we heard the comlink click on and off once or twice.

"He's asleep, guys," Demyx whispered. "Or something close to it. I'll catch you up tomorrow."

"Hey," Axel said sharply.

"What?"

"The minute Roxas wakes up…"

"Oh, I know, I know. Night."

"Night," we chorused, and it cut out again. Axel fingered his comlink thoughtfully, staring at a point on the wall. "You going to bed?" I asked him, pulling the sheets around me. I was still concerned, but a lot less so now that we knew they were safe. At least I could sleep now, I thought wryly.

He didn't seem to hear me. "Mmm?" he said when I repeated myself, looking disoriented. "Uh. Sure, I just…" He got up, burying the comlink in his pocket and running his hands through his hair. "I'll be in the lounge awhile."

I shrugged. "They're _your_ sperm, dude."

"Oh shut up, that was bullshit," he snapped over his shoulder, and I snickered. "See you in the morning."

"Night."

* * *

"Which is why they don't keep any animals at the Apex anymore."

I grinned, half-watching a Goof Troop episode while I listened to Riku. "Makes sense. Did Demyx ever get that image out of his head?"

"Demyx wasn't around, fortunately. He and Xigbar were out doing…something, Saix didn't go into it—so they told him it died of pneumonia when he got back."

"That's kinda cruel," I remarked, chuckling a little. "Considering it was practically the opposite…"

"Yeah, but Axel would've gotten _drowned_ if Demyx ever found out. And it _was_ an accident," Riku added wryly.

"I'll remember not to bother him in the shower."

"Do that."

"So how's it going with Roxas?" I asked then. "I mean, I know he's still kinda out of it right now…"

"Yeah. He and Axel talked a bit last night, but they really had to stuff him full of squits and agents, so he's been woozy as hell," Riku explained.

"Did you two have an easy time of it while we were gone?"  
"More or less," he replied, his voice lilting a little uncertainly. "Your other's not the easiest person to get along with, to be brutally honest."

I snorted. "You're telling _me_."

He snickered at that. "There was some fighting and some name-calling at first, but we managed to keep it together. How about you and Axel?"

I rolled my eyes. "You know Axel. He's been pretty good about explaining everything, though. The only thing that worries me is when he goes solo on something. Apparently he's got a history of getting a little kamikaze."

"Past, present, and _future_," Riku groaned out, and I laughed in agreement. "Being that guy's partner is like keeping a bomb on a leash. You never know what he's gonna do," he added with a kind of wry fondness.

We fell silent then, and I looked for something else to say. If we were meeting in person a break in the conversation would be fine, would be comfortable—but over the comlink, it was just strange. It was almost as if I wasn't sure he was really there or not. And then there was the fact that service was costing the Apex a bundle and Xemnas was being really generous here, so we had to justify using the things.

"How're you doing?" I asked, and it came out a little softer than I meant it, so I quickly added, "I mean, other than almost getting killed and all."

"Okay," he said. "Roxas and I were banging around Destiny Islands for a while, knocking out all those Heartless from the Strauss thing, but Xemnas has him practicing for the Exchange, too. Oh, and Xigbar's been teaching me a little about how Zenith works," he added. "I still don't get most of it, but I'm starting to understand how to use the rules."

"Really? How?" I asked, relieved. Maybe things would finally start making sense around here.

He made an uncertain little noise. "Uh. It's kinda hard to get into, and I don't know if I can really explain it over this…maybe I can show you once you guys get back here."

"Oh. Okay." I tried not to sound as disappointed as I felt. "That works, too."  
There was another silence, and this time I didn't try to change it. It was his turn, and besides, I wanted to see what happened to Goofy's bicycle.

"I miss you, Sora."

I wasn't quite expecting that. Not as quietly and tenderly as all that, and for some reason I felt a lump rise in my throat. "I miss you, too," I said softly. _Unbearably._

He shifted and grunted, and I imagine he must've looked at the clock, because he sighed. "It's been about ten minutes. We should probably log off awhile."

"Sure. I'll talk to you later," I said, and reluctantly put the comlink back in my pocket, just catching his goodbye before his cut out as well.

I got up, crossing to turn off the TV. It was about to be lunchtime, anyhow, and I wasn't interested in the show coming up next. As I did, I heard Axel grunt sharply from the couch and turned in time to see him shift. "Was I asleep?" he murmured, rubbing at his eyes. "I was asleep," he added before I could say anything, grimacing.

"What? Were you trying to catch something?" I asked, gesturing back at the television.

"Sure. Call it that," he snapped irritably, lurching to his feet and starting out of the lounge car. "What time is it?"

"Noon," I told him, recoiling. _Grumpy today._

"Great. Let's go for chow," he suggested, sounding a little gentler. "I need some glit in my system."

I started to follow him out of the car, but stopped when I noticed Larxene curled up in a corner, reading. "You coming?" I called to her, not quite sure why I did. We _were_ traveling together, though, so I figured it only made sense to try to be cordial.

Larxene obviously didn't feel that way.

"Not if _you're_ going," she replied, glaring over the pages at me. "I'll puke if I have to watch you suck up that riatzche the way you always do."

I snapped.

"What the fuck is your problem with me?!" I demanded, crossing over to her. "I know you're a bitch. Axel told me from the beginning you'd be a bitch, but you don't do this to Marluxia—you don't even act like this around _Axel_, but I guess you _can't_ because that'd be too much after what you did to him! So is that why? Are you just jumping on me because you can't go after anyone else? That's _pathetic_, Larxene!"

"What's pathetic is how hard you're taking it," she replied, smirking at me. "I haven't had someone so concerned about what I thought of him since I had Axel for a follower, and even then he didn't care too much."

Oh my _god_. I could've _killed_ the woman. "I don't give a shit about you," I told her in a low, dangerous tone. "And I'd much rather if you didn't give a shit about _me_, but you're so concerned with getting under my skin that _I_ must be the one who matters to _you_!"

She closed the book with a snap and set it aside, sitting up with her eyes smoldering. "All right," she hissed. "You wanna know _why_?" She chuckled in that high-pitched way I absolutely despised. "I know your type, kid. The oblivious, goo-goo-eyed optimist with the hypocritical streak. Everything's perfect to you, and if it's not perfect, then it's good enough for now. You think the world's a lovely place, you think people are just _good_ deep down, and you think things just can't get _bad_—things can't get really, _really_ bad the way they do here in the real world. So the minute those rose-colored glasses of yours get smashed, you've gotta find a shoulder to cry on. You make me sick," she snarled.

I started to say, _So you're upset because I'm not a cynic like you,_ but her last few words sent a shock through my system. "What?" I croaked.

The Siren grinned like she'd just gotten exactly what she wanted for Christmas. "I've seen you," she gloated. "I've heard you and Axel fighting about how overprotective he gets—but don't you see it? He doesn't cling to you, you cling to _him_! The minute something goes wrong in your perfect world is the minute you go running for someone to tell you it's okay. You don't possess a shred of self-reliance."

"I do _so_," I muttered from between gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry, what? I couldn't hear you over the sound of your glasses cracking," she said lightly, smirking. "Don't hate me for telling you the truth, kid. It's about time someone did."

"It's completely normal!" I exploded, clenching my fists and half-inclined to pull out the Keyblade. "I don't know how it works around here! Of _course_ I rely on Axel! It hasn't always been like this!"

"Oh, but it has. What's going to happen once you get home?" she asked. "Axel won't be around, so Riku will have to take over for him, won't he? It doesn't take pointy ears and a cape to figure out who wears the pants between you," she added sharply. "You think you're growing up, you think you're taking the world by storm, but all you're doing is hiding behind the big boys. Your kind is truly pathetic and I _loathe_ you _all_," she finished, sitting back and slapping the book as she grabbed it up again.

I stood frozen in a shell-shocked state, trying to come to grips with what exactly had just happened. "That's bullshit!" I started finally. "I don't—!"

"We're done here, barf breath," she cut me off, sounding almost bored. "Go cry to Axel. I don't want to hear it."

For several seconds I didn't move. Then I let out an enraged scream and stormed from the room, trying to ignore the high-pitched laughter that followed me out.

* * *

Author's Note: So there was a pagination discrepancy and Axel didn't want to end it here because "things don't calm down" and "I owe him for that Larxene shit." Hehe, yeah right—like he can really do that when the people have been keeping SECRETS from me. Ansem just told me something that freakin' AFFECTS this chapter JUST before I was about to post it and I had to rewrite some things (which made Axel mad) and scream at Roxas (which made him even angrier) and now everyone's pissed at me and you think I'm a crazy person.

Anyway, yeah, people. This is Zenith. _Things don't calm down_. If you think this stuff is bad, then understand that there was supposed to be ANOTHER conflict going on simultaneously with this one. More on that later.

Question of the hour: **What are your LEAST favorite character and scene thus far?**

Ansem's the villain and he doesn't freakin' count. See, if you hate the people I need you to love, I wanna know about it.


	20. Insomnia

_What the hell was that?!_ I thought, trying to go back over the conversation in my head as I paced in the room I shared with Axel. I'd expected her to call me names, I'd expected her to say I was a brat and I didn't know diddly from squat—but I hadn't expected an _iconoclasm_! _It didn't mean anything,_ I thought firmly. _She was just trying to get under your skin. She does that. You KNOW that. There wasn't a shred of truth to any of it._

But there was a lingering doubt I couldn't get rid of. It had always been Riku—Riku decided when, Riku decided where, and Riku called the shots. I pretty much went along with him, but that wasn't hiding behind him, it just…it just happened. And Axel had definitely taken over as far as Riku was concerned, but that made _sense_! What was I supposed to do, learn all of Zenith's rules in a day and be able to navigate all that chaotic weirdness without so much as a guide? _Nobody_ could do that! And so what if I needed help from time to time? So what if I needed a little reassurance when something screwed with my world? So what if my rose-tinted glasses were cracking faster than I knew they could and…and I wasn't ready for that to happen?

"Sora?"  
I looked up as Axel knocked at the doorframe. "Uh. Yeah?" I said quickly, dropping my eyes and trying not to sound annoyed.

"Did you forget about lunch or something?" he asked, smiling wryly.

"No, I…um. I'm coming," I said with a laborious sigh.

He shot me a funny look. "Are you okay?"

_I'm not in the mood for this. _"_Yes_, Axel. I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"_YES_!" I shouted, feeling like I was about to bust a vein out of sheer frustration. "If I say it once, I mean it, Axel! I don't need you hovering over me and checking me over every time I—!" I stopped short as the expression on his face grew pained. He dropped his head forward, pinching the bridge of his nose and sagging against the doorframe.

"Dude, don't…" He sighed heavily. "Don't do this to me…right now. Okay?" he asked quietly, finally meeting my eyes again.

_Roxas,_ I remembered, and felt terrible. "Oh _crap_, Axel, I'm…I'm sorry. I…" I groaned, putting a hand on my hip and running the other one through my hair. "I just have to work through some things. I'll catch up. Maybe I'll get a late lunch or something," I added, knowing he'd worry if I didn't eat.

"Okay. Just…"

I braced myself for another concern, another question, another _nag_.

"Well…" He sighed. "Okay. Later."

"Yeah."

He disappeared around the doorframe and I sat down on the bed, trying to think. After a minute I dropped back against the mattress with a huge sigh, like I was trying to deflate all the way to my toes. _I hate that fucking bitch,_ I thought, and tried to shove the whole incident to the back of my mind.

* * *

Another two days passed on the train, and it felt like we were all treading on eggshells. I avoided Larxene like the plague, Axel got especially delicate around me, and Marluxia seemed to retreat to the sidelines whenever a spat started up. The position of leader had basically passed from Axel to Marluxia, but the Dryad must've given up on trying to control us by that point.

I barely got to talk to Riku during that time, primarily because service on the comlinks wasn't getting any cheaper, but also because he and Roxas were back on active duty. Roxas's recovery also meant that he and Axel were spending a lot of time on the comlinks, and I was careful to respect their privacy.

Not that it helped my mood any. I was still so angry at Larxene that it took me awhile to realize something was up with Axel. I'd noticed he got irritable from time to time, but lately he was always either irritable or implacably sad, and he seemed more and more distant every time I saw him. Even then, it wasn't until I half-woke late Saturday night that I finally realized what was wrong.

I confronted him about it in the lounge car, knowing that was where he spent most of his time. He was sitting on the couch when I came in, looking at that blue bauble again. "What's wrong?" I asked him simply, thinking back and wondering faintly how many times he'd asked me that, how many times Riku had asked me that. Had it been just as hard for them, I wondered, knowing I'd give them the same answer every time? Knowing I'd only get upset?

"Nothing."

"Don't give me that."

He turned to glare at me. "That's _my_ question for _you_," he pointed out, annoyed. "You've been on a short fuse all day."

"It's the morning," I pointed out. "But it wouldn't feel like that to you, would it?"

He didn't answer that.

"You haven't been sleeping, Axel."

Silence.

"How long has this been going on?"

I waited, swiftly getting frustrated. "How _long_?" I repeated when he still didn't say anything.

"It's none of your concern."

"How can you say that?" I stared at him. "How can you even _think_ that? You're my friend! Of course it's my concern!"

"Sora—!" He stopped short, looking away sharply. "I don't want to do this," he said in a low voice. "I don't want to go _into_ this right—"

"_I do_!" I shouted. "I'm worried, I'm concerned, I'm _scared_. This is Zenith. I don't know Zenith, so I don't know what this means," I reminded him. "Tell me what's wrong," I added, trying to sound stronger than I really felt.

He bit his lip, his eyes drifting up towards mine. Then he dropped his gaze, and my heart sank. "Sora…please," he whispered.

It was the same. That was the same exact tone he'd used when Larxene had him on the ground, when his life hung in the balance—but why was he using it now? Why was it directed at _me_ this time? What could be so bad that…?

Suddenly I was furious. I seized him by the jacket and he folded like a rag doll, almost collapsing even as I jerked him up from the couch. "Look at you! You're exhausted! For somebody who worries so much about other people, you sure don't take care of yourself! Don't you ever think about it from our point of view? Have you ever considered what we'd have to go through if…if you…" My arms were shaking as I let him back down, breathing hard and starting to feel a little hysterical.

"Sora," he said gently.

I didn't look at him, standing with my arms at my sides and feeling smaller and more powerless than ever before. "I'd miss you, Axel," I said finally. "More than you know. More than _I_ even know."

There was a long moment, and then I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and his forehead dropped against my chest. "Sora," he said slowly, "that means more to me…than you will ever understand."

Gently pulling away, I took a few steps back and frowned at him. "So tell me what's wrong! What's so bad that you have to keep—"

"I die."

"—doing this to yourse—_what_?"

He was drawing in on himself, not meeting my eyes. "In the dream," he murmured. "The one that keeps coming back. I die and die and die—every night it happens again."

I didn't say anything for several moments, not sure how to react to that. "How?" I asked finally, sinking down into the chair across from him.

"I don't know. It gets hot and then it's cold. And Roxas is never there," he added shortly.

"But…" I squirmed uncertainly. "I mean…it's only a dream, Ax—"

"It feels _real_!" he said sharply, his voice wavering, and he ran his shaking hands through his hair. "Like it actually _happened_."

I sighed, biting my lip. In all honesty, I wasn't sure what to tell him. I'd had recurring dreams in the past, but nothing as intense as all that, and it always seemed like they'd just gone away in time. "It's probably connected with what _did_ happen," I told him finally in a wheedling tone. "You know…Larxene and all. They'll go away. They have to, sometime."

The redhead grunted distantly, dropping his head back against the cushions. "I can't believe I'm getting so uptight about this," he muttered with a flash of a self-mocking smirk. "Especially when Roxas and Riku were…"

"I know."

He glanced back at me, then looked away again. "You're gonna think I'm…this is gonna sound so, _so_ stupid…" He started to chuckle, but it froze on his face and he closed his eyes. "I'm scared I won't wake up."

"Axel, that's crazy talk," I said immediately, trying to ignore the cold feeling that caught in my heart when he said that. "Of course you'll wake up. I _promise_ you'll wake up."

"Promise, huh?" The Phoenix cracked an eye wryly. "You're not one to break one of those, I hope."

"No. Just…" I grinned then, seeing how his eyelids fluttered sluggishly. "You're gonna fall asleep in a second if you're not careful. You really need to get some rest in," I told him. "Marluxia says sleep deprivation does wonky things to a Phoenix."

He made a noncommittal noise, gingerly dropping down onto the cushions and watching me sideways through a pair of foggy green eyes.

"Don't even think about the dream," I told him. "It probably won't happen. It's not even night."

The redhead closed his eyes. "Hope not," he whispered.

I waited a moment before rising, figuring I'd go get Marluxia up to date on the situation and grab some breakfast—and suddenly Axel's eyes shot open and his hand flashed out. "Don't leave m—!" But then he stopped, dropping his arm and rolling his eyes with a groan. "Guh. Sorry."

I couldn't conceal a small smile at that. "It's all right," I told him. "I'll stay."

He flushed and growled with embarrassment. "Nah, you don't have to…"

"It's fine. Really," I said, taking a seat again. "You don't have to play tough guy around me, I know you're a sap."

The Phoenix glared at me, but his eyes were soft with exhaustion. "Well…you're a dummy…butt."

I chuckled. "Go to sleep, Axel."

"Rrgh."

He turned over and did just that, and I waited around, keeping an eye. It was almost like the more I got to know him, the more fragile Axel seemed—first physically and now emotionally. When things got to him, they _really_ got to him, and I felt a kind of kinship there. And while I wasn't as fanatically devoted as he was, I got very protective of my friends. I could still remember a time I'd taken up arms against a bully who called Riku a girl and tried to grab Kairi's lunch money. Of course, I ended up losing pretty badly, but I _was_ only nine years old and the guy was a _giant_—and Riku went and brutalized him afterward, naturally. _Hiding behind the big boys,_ came an annoyingly painful thought, and I frowned at the ceiling. _I'll fight for him if it comes to that, but…could I really die for him, the way Axel could?_ I wondered faintly. Then I shook my head—Zenith was dangerous, sure, but right now that wasn't an issue. There was no reason to dwell on it.

The Phoenix shifted then, and it occurred to me that it would be better if he moved back to the room. People would be coming in after breakfast and someone might turn on the television, I thought uncomfortably, but like I was gonna bother him now. Finally I stood and crossed to his side, just checking to make sure he was really asleep this time. I mean, I was concerned about him, but I was also hungry. And he was definitely out now.

Just as I turned to go, though, I heard him move again. A hand encircled my wrist and dragged me straight into his embrace. "Axel! Hey—!" I cried out, struggling.

"Rok…" he breathed into my hair, which made it even _creepier_.

But after a minute I finally realized I wasn't getting anywhere. I made a frustrated, guttural noise, almost moved to kick him. _Fine,_ I thought sullenly, relaxing. _If you want me to be Roxas, I'll be Roxas. But just this once._

* * *

He was grinning at me, his eyes wide—_he looks like a maniac_—but I couldn't move, I could barely breathe, and something hurt deep inside—_he won't do this, I know he won't do this_—now he raised the Keyblade, now the world started to end—_Riku, no! Please no! Riku! RIKU!_

_**"SORA!"**_

I jerked awake, startled, and almost fell off the couch. I definitely would have if Axel wasn't still holding me. His chin was resting on top of my head, and my nose was buried in his neck, and our arms were—and oh _god_ would this be a compromising position if someone walked in—!

But wait. I'd been asleep…hadn't I? When had I fallen asleep? I looked around for the clock. It had only been about twenty minutes since I walked in to talk to Axel…we must've spent about ten of those talking things out, which meant I'd only been asleep for maybe five or so. But that _dream_! It felt so real, like it had actually…

_Happened._

I struggled then, grunting helplessly at first and then carefully extracting myself from Axel's insistent embrace. As I stood, I pressed a hand to my back, realizing something cold had been there…and that's when I noticed that the ring on Axel's hand was glowing. For that matter, the Phoenix was beginning to sweat and twitch, and I blinked at him in confusion. Was he…? "Axel? Axel!" I repeated, shaking him and snapping my fingers in front of his nose. But he wouldn't wake. I straightened, nonplussed, and put a hand to my head. _The ring's doing it? But he and Roxas married with those, that doesn't make any s…_

Wait.

That's right! I'd found the ring in my pocket out in the desert so long ago…Axel hadn't even known how it got there, so there'd definitely been something weird about it. _I should've realized!_ I thought angrily. _I shouldn't have given it to him! Or he at least shouldn't have taken it, the idiot! He KNEW something was…_ I shook my head. It happened, and now I had to deal with it, I decided even as I felt something start to buzz at my hip. No more ring, no more problem.

…OW.

I blinked at the ceiling, wondering if all my body parts were still connected, and slowly discovered that something had launched me across the room the moment I touched that thing. I groaned in frustration, getting to my feet and lurching unsteadily towards him again. "I don't go down that easy," I growled at the ring, seizing Axel by the wrist and reaching again. "Now let go of my friend you motherf—!"

BAM

I hit a chair that time, vision flashing white and tears starting at the corners of my eyes at the crushing pain. Axel grunted faintly, and I looked up to see he was getting worse, trembling and jerking now. Gritting my teeth, I got back up and headed for the dining car this time. "Marluxia!" I shouted once I caught sight of him. "Marluxia, it's Axel!"

"Show me," he said sharply, rising, and Larxene followed as I led them back to the lounge car.

"He lost his ring, remember?" I explained breathlessly over my shoulder as I ran ahead of them. "Well, I found it while we were crossing the battlefield, and he couldn't explain how it got there, and now he's been having all these nightmares about dying and I just found out the ring's got something to do with it—!"

"Oh god," Marluxia murmured, and Larxene started to curse beside him.

"What?" I asked, panicking, but the Dryad only pushed ahead of me and threw open the door to the lounge car. The three of us bolted inside, going straight for Axel, and I skidded to a stop as Larxene and Marluxia checked him over. The Siren put a hand to his forehead while Marluxia got a closer look at the ring. "Did you already try to remove it?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," I got out, panting and putting a hand to my chest. "Thing threw me across the room. Sucked," I added in a mutter.

Marluxia was saying far worse things under his breath. "You have no idea what you've done," he told me darkly.

My heart stopped. "What? What is that thing?"

"There's no way we can save him?" Larxene asked in a small voice.

In answer, the Dryad held out Axel's hand. "Hold him," he ordered, calling up a nasty-looking scythe. I looked away sharply as he brought it down on Axel's wrist, but it wasn't Axel who screamed—and there was a flash of light just as Marluxia hit the ceiling. I shrank back as he landed, but then hurried to help him to his feet. "We're too late," he murmured. "He's too far gone…!"

"What's _happening_?" I demanded, glancing back at the Phoenix.

"That thing is a tattoo," Marluxia explained, gingerly releasing me to stand on his own.

"It's a portal," Larxene added.

"Or rather," the Dryad began, swallowing, "Axel's going to be the portal in just a few hours."

"The portal to what?" I wanted to know.

They didn't answer that.

"We're going to have to alert the personnel," Marluxia said quietly. "The train must be evacuated. When this thing goes…"

"It's gonna be big," the blond murmured in agreement.

I looked from one to the other, a black fear settling in my stomach. "W-what about Axel?"

"We can't save him."

It sounded like a death sentence coming from Marluxia. "But—we won't just—we _can't_—!" I protested. We couldn't leave him behind, it was _unthinkable_—especially if there was still a chance. _He's not gone yet,_ I thought desperately. _We have to try! He'd do it for any one of us!_

"Sora," Marluxia said sharply, turning to me. "You know him as well as I do, if not better. He would want us to escape while we still have our lives."

I shook my head. "No…I can't…I can't accept that! I'm _not_ leaving him to—!"

"We're going," he said firmly, seizing me by the arm, "_now_."

"_NO_!" I screamed, struggling for all I was worth against his damnable strength. "I can't! I _can't_! I promised him…!" _There has to be something we can do! Something we overlooked! It can't end like this! If only there was something that could blast through it…some sort of purge all…_

"Bananas," I whispered.

"What?"

I kicked out and wrenched away, bolting for the dining car. Marluxia let out a shout from behind me, but I didn't care as long as I didn't hear his footsteps following. Blessedly, he and Larxene both stayed behind, and I pushed past some people returning to their rooms from breakfast and stumbled into the dining car. "I need a banana!" I shouted at the waiter, who blinked at me in surprise and suddenly looked embarrassed. "_Now_! It's an emergency!" I pressed when he only stared at me, and I heard a Naiad girl giggle from nearby.

Wordlessly, he pointed at one of his coworkers who was just setting some sort of fruit dish down on a table. "Thanks!" I called over my shoulder, seizing up one of the three bananas lying across the top. I took off for the lounge car again, ignoring the indignant shout from the guest behind me.

Marluxia and Larxene were waiting for me. They stood in front of Axel with their weapons drawn and their eyes narrowed. "Stop," the Siren said firmly.

I did just that, trying to understand this. "Whose side are you on?" I demanded shrilly. "I'm trying to help! This might actually work, and it's not like I haven't done this bef—!"

"Put the banana down," Marluxia ordered from between clenched teeth.

My jaw dropped and I stared at him in chagrin. "You won't even try it? We could save him! I don't care how dangerous it is, I'll do it!" I promised, my voice beginning to crack.

"Put it down and back away before I turn you into a pincushion," Larxene snapped, drawing back a hand.

I knew she wasn't kidding, but I still would have made a run for it if only they weren't in the way. They were, though, so it was hopeless. "Fine," I said, blinking back tears. "Fine. Take it easy," I muttered, setting the banana down as if it was a gun and stepping back with my hands raised.

Marluxia knelt and leaned forward to seize it. "Take Sora," he said to Larxene, straightening, "and alert the personnel that an active tattoo is on the train. Then come back here." He glanced at the banana. "This probably won't work, and even if it does, the ring will come back. In that case, I will have to do something Axel won't like, and I may not survive that. So if I'm not out of here in thirty minutes, have them evacuate the train. Go." He looked to me as she moved in my direction. "_Stay with Larxene_," he ordered, and turned around to approach Axel.

I wasn't quick enough to get moving before Larxene seized my arm, still too surprised at what was happening, and a sudden gust of wind shoved the both of us out. The door locked securely behind us. Larxene whirled to watch through the window, only for the shutter to drop down in front of it, and she cursed sharply. "C'mon, you," she muttered, taking me by the arm again and starting for the dining car.

"I can walk on my own, thanks," I informed her, wrenching away.

"Then do it _quickly_."

I managed to keep up as she stormed into the dining car and seized the first waiter she saw. "Don't panic," she snarled, dragging him out of sight of the other guests. He was a wide-eyed Leprechaun (if the green streaks in his hair and rainbow bands around his wrists were any indication), probably not much older than me, and I felt a stab of pity for him as he blinked in surprise and fear at the Siren bearing down on him. "There is a tattoo on board," she told him shortly. "It's trying to activate. In another three or four hours we're going to have a portal here but _don't_—no. Do _not_ panic," she repeated as he started to protest fearfully. "We're trying to stop it. Let your superiors know, but give us an hour before you do anything about it."

"We have to get everyone off _now_!" he said, trembling. "That thing could—!"

"I know perfectly well what a portal of that nature is capable of," she hissed, slamming him up against the wall. "And I _also_ know who it's chosen as its sacrifice. We're doing everything in our power to save him, so if you mess this up I _swear _you will experience pain like you can't imagine," she promised darkly, her face only inches from his.

He looked about to faint. "A-anything you wish, madam," he mumbled.

She smirked, dropping him. "I just knew you'd see it my way."

The boy landed on unsteady legs and leaned gratefully against the wall as Larxene started out and I followed grudgingly. "Thanks for…thanks for your business," he called after us weakly.

I fell into step beside her as we headed back for the lounge car. "You think he'll screw up?" I asked, wondering how it would affect Marluxia if the train stopped regardless.

"For the sake of his unborn children, he better not," she growled.

"And what do we do now?" I added as we reached the door.

"We _wait_, obviously."

I wasn't satisfied with that. "Did you see anything?" I pressed. "When you looked through the window, I mean," I added quickly when she shot me an exasperated look.

"They were _naked_," she spat. "But that's no indication. The ring might've still been there. It probably was," she added, glaring at me. "That was a _stupid_ idea. If Marluxia doesn't come back, I'm taking it out on you."

"I didn't expect him to do that, all right?" I told her sharply.

"No, you didn't," she conceded, glowering at the door like it had done something to her personally. "But _you_ started all this, _you_ ran to the big boys, and _you're_ responsible for both of them. The chances of this working are nix, so because of _you_, we've lost Marluxia."

I reached up and gripped my head, half-convinced I was going to tear my hair out in frustration. "That's baseless and you know it," I told her from between clenched teeth. It was almost as if all the anxiety and torment of having someone in danger yet _again_ brought a kind of clarity to everything. "Marluxia wouldn't have risked his life if he didn't think there was a chance. He would have grabbed me and dragged us both out of here, the way he was about to. _I_ had nothing to do with his decision and you know it, but you're still ripping into me because you know that's the way I'll see it," I added, experiencing a deep hurt mixed with a deep hatred. I felt responsible. I would _always_ feel responsible, whether it worked or not.

"And that's cruel, Larxene," I told her in a trembling voice. "That's really…that's really…especially right now. You're cutting into me," I said, stronger this time, and realizing—finally realizing what this was all about. "You're trying to cut _me_ down because you know it'll make you feel a little better about what's going on. If _I'm_ the one at fault, you can feel superior. That's what you've been doing from the beginning, isn't it? And I'm an easy target because you know I'll take it to heart." I swallowed. "You may hate my kind, Larxene, but I hate yours, too."

Oddly, I took no satisfaction in the way she looked away sharply or the flicker of something much like pain in her eyes. She glared back at me then, her lip curling. "I don't know how you can even care about that right now," she muttered.

I let out a humorless laugh at that. "_You_ did, or you wouldn't have gone after me like that. Don't hate me for telling the truth," I added sharply, turning away from her and facing the door again. "It's about time someone did."

She was livid and I knew it. I could almost feel it—the air seemed to crackle with anger and electricity both. If Axel and Marluxia didn't make it out, I was as good as dead, but I couldn't bring myself to care about that. Now I was focused on them, and Larxene must have realized it would've been pointless to get physical right then because she backed off to the window and fell silent.

A few moments passed before I picked up a low murmur coming from within the car. "Larxene!" I hissed sharply. She hurried over and the two of us pressed our ears to the cracks in the door, listening intently.

"…no hand to come back on," Axel was saying. "Hurts like a bitch, but it sorta fixes the problem, doesn't it?"

"Only if it doesn't come back somewhere else," Marluxia pointed out warily. "If the rule of truth is in effect, it may very well end up someplace we can't get to it. I don't know enough about tattoos to risk that."

"Fine, fine, I'll let you _have_ _your way_…"

Marluxia must not have appreciated that, because there was a silence and Axel snickered. "If this doesn't work, we still have the banana, and we can try it again," the Dryad went on, all business. "So I suggest we get started."

"First I gotta call Roxas."

"No, you don't. You never got the ring back, which means the devotion isn't in effect."

"Oh." The Phoenix groaned. "Man. He's gonna kill me. So how do you wanna do this?"

"_I_ have to be completely lucid, and it might actually help us if you're not fully functional when it comes back, so I figure I'll do it, you know…_this_ way," Marluxia said, lowering his voice.

Axel made an uncomfortable noise. "Er. You sure, Mar? I mean, I thought you found that kinda…"

"I'm not in the mood for a mess. If you've got a better idea, now's the time," the Dryad said flatly.

"Knock yourself out, then," Axel told him. "Just trying to make sure y—_hahhh_!"

"Oh, and try to be quiet," Marluxia said lightly. "Larxene must be back by now, and Sora's with her."

"_Gh_—okay! Okay! Let _go—_and gimme a pillow, would you?"

The Dryad must have shot him a funny look then because Axel let out an annoyed groan. "I'm very vocal," he muttered. "I can't help it, okay?"

That's around the time I stopped listening. My face felt like it was on fire, any morbid curiosity had run out, and I just couldn't take any more.

Larxene seemed tickled at that. "Won't matter," she said, smirking. "You'll probably hear him in a minute either way. Axel's a loud one."

I took a step back. "You mean—you guys, uhh—!" _I know they were followers, but how drunk WAS he?_

"_Please_. No," she snapped. "That's where I draw the line. Everything I know about him I learned from being near Vexen's room at the wrong time," she added dryly.

Just as she said it, a sharp curse rang out and was hastily muffled.

"So…" I began, trying to get my mind off what was going on in there. "So he and Vexen were really…_involved_."

"_Oh_ yeah. Why, jealous or something?" She scoffed. "You're not his type."

"Well _good_, because I'm not jealous," I shot back. "I'm amazed he ever even considered _you_. You're unbearable."

"You're insufferable," she replied without even having to think about it.

"You're a bitch."

"You're an ass."

The lock clicked. Forgetting the argument, we both got up and got inside, already tense and ready for combat if it came to that. Axel and Marluxia were mercifully clothed, with Axel looking a little out of it and Marluxia spitting something out the wind…oh.

"Where's the ring?" Larxene demanded.

"Right here." Axel held up a hand and very deliberately yanked it off, tossing it into the wastebasket. "_Fuck_ that thing."

I blinked at it. "How'd you do that?"  
"The banana must have broken its hold," Marluxia said, turning back. "Larxene, please let the personnel know that the tattoo has been dealt with. I'll be in the bathroom for a while," he added over his shoulder.

"Thanks, Mar," Axel called to him. "I owe you big time!"

"Yes. You do."

"So that's it? You're okay? We're good?" I demanded of Axel, thoroughly worn out for one day.

"As far as I can tell." He fumbled for a second and came up with the banana, holding it loosely between his fingertips. I stepped back, regarding it like it was a poisonous snake, and he smirked. "So this was your idea?"

"Yeah."

His smirk broadened at that, and I felt my cheeks light up. "You were in trouble, okay? It was the first thing I thought of!"

The Phoenix chuckled and rose, dropping it on the couch as he did. "Really? The _first_ thing? I'm rubbing off on you," he said, ruffling my hair. I ducked out from under his hand with a groan. "And I _really_ owe you," he added, seizing me in a one-armed hug. "That's twice you've saved my life now," he said quietly. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," I mumbled as he pulled away. "So I guess you're going to sleep?"

"Yeah. For, like, a couple _days_."

"You do that," I said, laughing, as he started out of the lounge car.

He stopped and looked at me over his shoulder. "That last dream wasn't so bad, by the way."

"Really?" I grinned then, realizing. "Roxas was in it, huh?"

"No." He smiled. "But you were."

The door slammed open and we both looked up sharply at Larxene, who had been about to go for the dining car. There was a short, tubby woman standing in her way—a Squall, I realized, seeing the tiny wings on her hands and feet that looked like they were beating desperately to keep her from falling over. "You!" the Squall barked, pointing a fat finger at…me?

"Um?" I murmured, blinking.

"How _dare_ you ruin _my breakfast_ that I _paid for_ with _good money_!" she shrilled, waddling over to prod me in the chest with every other word. "You stole from me in front of my entire family! In front of my _husband_! I've never been so humiliated in my entire life!"

"Lady, you're gonna want to back off—!"

"_Excuse me_!" she screamed practically in Axel's face, getting up on tiptoe just to reach him. "_Excuse me_! I was talking! _Excuse me_!"

He didn't seem to know just how to deal with that.

I sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, but there was an emergen—!"

"I don't _care_! That doesn't give you the right to barge up to _my_ table, steal from _my_ plate, and completely _ignore_ me when I protest! Your people will be hearing from my people!" she added sharply, nodding and nearly sending that expensive-looking flower hat flying. I bit my lip to kill a snicker, which was probably the wrong thing to do. "Now you're _laughing_ at me? _Oh_—I'll drag you to the chicken festival if I have to! You won't be laughing when they take you to the back room and—!"

"_Hey_!" Axel said sharply, seizing me by the shoulder to jerk me away from her.

"_Excuse me_!" she shrilled.

"_BITCH_!"

Silence fell, and the three of us stared at Larxene in astonishment. The Siren stalked over to us, her eyes flashing. "If stupidity was contagious, every person on this train would be terminal," she hissed at the Squall. "And I know it's important to get everything right for you. I know the world revolves around you and it's _such_ a tough break when you don't get that extra couple of donuts you needed _so bad_. But the reality is, there was a _tattoo_ on this train. Things were about to get bad, and I _do_ mean bad, not to mention we almost lost someone actually _worth_ something, which is more than I can say for you. So if you want to get violent about this, then you and I can go out into the battlefield and I'll see if I can't find some starving Dryads. Your custard-smeared carcass could probably feed a whole family of them for a month."

"Excuse—!"

"No, excuse _me_," Larxene said sharply. "_I_ was talking. But since actions speak louder than words," she added, drawing her weapons, "why don't you run back to your humiliated family, who must miss you _so_, before I change my mind and make a mess?"

The Squall blinked at her, overwhelmed. "Y-you can't—!"  
"I wouldn't try me if I were you."

For a moment the woman just looked back and forth between her and Axel, who was also beginning to look murderous, and finally she glared at me. "This isn't over!" she said in a quavering voice. "You'll be hearing from me!"

"Looking forward to it," I growled, and Axel smirked unsettlingly.

Finally broken, the Squall turned on her heel and stalked back towards the door. For an instant I saw Axel duck back out of the corner of my eye. Then he straightened and let out a piercing shriek that made her stumble and turn back, her lips pursed with rage. "You forgot your banana!" And a second later it hit her point blank in the face.

She probably would have come back and told us what for, but Larxene still had her weapons out, so she settled for bolting in mortification instead. The three of us burst into laughter behind her, drowning out her screams about getting whatever passes for a lawyer in Zenith—and for the first time I didn't care about that high-pitched cackle of Larxene's.

"I," the Phoenix said, turning to her, "am so happy you're a bitch. That was beautiful."

"I'm allergic to idiocy," she muttered. "But this one's got to learn how to look out for himself," she added, jabbing me in the shoulder as she moved for the door again.

I smirked and came up beside her, dropping my voice so Axel wouldn't hear. "Why bother? I may have to hide behind _him_," I said, nodding back towards the redhead, "but _you're_ only too happy to jump out in front of me."

She glared back at me. "This changes nothing."

"Nope."

"Bastard."

"Cunt."

She flicked me off as she headed on through the door, and I was surprised to see Axel smiling in bemusement when I turned back to him. "She _likes_ you."

I grunted noncommittally. "She's got a funny way of showing it."

"She's Larxene. So." He dropped a friendly arm around my shoulders. "_You_ must be starving. I know you haven't had breakfast yet. You up for some riatzche?"

"Sure. But if you could teach me how to order it, that'd be great," I added.

"Rule of logic," he said simply.

I rolled my eyes. "We give _them_ the menus. I get that part. But that still doesn't explain where the order comes from," I told him.

"It's a little tricky," he said apologetically. "You have to make it known through a rule, but it's the rule of mess, and the rule of mess isn't really specific."

"What is that one?"

"If a thing is one thing, it must be something else."

"Ah." I rolled my eyes. "Forget it. I'm too hungry to think that way right now."

* * *

Author's Note: Ladies and gentlemen, what we just witnessed was a character too clever for his own good (and mine) wriggling out of a permanent mark or lasting injury of some sort. I never even thought of bananas until there needed to be a way to save him. I feel set up. I really do, Axel, and I hope you're happy. You know this means I have to take out my frustrations on Roxas, right?

Anyway, it's starting to feel pretty episodic. Conflict, climax (in more ways than one 8D), and resolution, all in one bite-sized installment. Now I wanna turn it into an anime or something—I've been doodling some fanart, but I fail at fanart. Still, I'll post a link if I come up with something worthwhile.

The Larxene and Sora thingummy bob (too much Lord Peter Wimsey) felt a little awkward, since I don't think Sora would've been that coherent (plot device or no), but I needed that to get addressed. Oh—and I finished Ch 24, so I posted Ch 20, and until college lets up a little, that's the way it's gonna hafta be.

Question: **What, thus far, are you most interested in finding out?**

Plz answer the questions. T.T They have a purpose. Honest.


	21. Collision with the Past

I took another few careful steps and stopped, feeling pretty dumb in the relative silence. It wasn't like anyone could hear me over the deep rumble of the train, even though we'd all gotten to a point where we tuned that out. And even if they _did_ hear me, the only people who would possibly care that I was slinking around the lounge car at night were already asleep. It had to be almost one thirty in the morning.

Ignoring the adrenaline rush, I moved for the back, stumbled a little, and dropped to my knees to feel around in the wastebasket. Had they dumped it yet? They couldn't have, it wasn't nearly full enough—_gross_, somebody left their donut—yes! I drew out the little green ring and sat back, heart pounding. _If Axel finds me out here, I'm so dead._ He'd gone straight to bed after breakfast, and that can really mess up your schedule—it wouldn't surprise me to learn he was feeling a little nocturnal again.

Everything in my body was dead set against this. It was ridiculous to even think about grabbing up the tattoo again, and _forget_ putting it on—but after an intense questioning session, I'd wrung the truth out of Marluxia. Tattoos created portals to the past…which meant Axel probably experienced one of his past deaths in those dreams. That would also explain why it felt so real to him.

_Xemnas said past lives affect everything that comes afterward,_ I thought, looking over the thing. Maybe it was my imagination, but it didn't look quite the same anymore. _Which means if I go back into that dream, I might get some answers._ I could find out what kind of a relationship I had with all the members of Nada Apex in the past. I could see if I could find that person who disappeared—if we had a relationship now, we must have been connected sometime in the past. _I might even be able to discover something to help with Ansem and the Heartless._ How could I pass up a chance like this?

"Here goes," I whispered, holding up a shaking hand and ignoring the strange buzzing that had started up in my pocket. _Just one dream,_ I thought hastily. _Just one. Then I'm off this for good._ I slipped it on, expecting to feel something—pain, maybe, or that coldness—but nothing really happened. I almost grinned with relief, flexing my hand a little so it bumped against my other fingers. It was pretty big on me. If I wanted to, I could just tip my hand and it'd slide off. _Nothing to worry about._

Spoke too soon. Suddenly it shrank, squeezing tight— "Ow…_ow_! What—_OW_!" I cried out, squirming and trying to pull it off, but it kept getting even tighter. My finger was turning red now and this _hurt_— "Come off, dammit! You gonna take the whole finger?" I demanded of it like the thing was sentient or something, scrabbling at the edges and tugging. It kept getting _tighter_—and now the edges were digging into my skin, I thought I felt blood—

With effort I stopped and left it alone as I realized something else was happening. Something was attacking my _mind_ now, too, and I lurched to my feet, not caring if I got in trouble now. "Axel!" I called out, stumbling forward blindly. I tripped over something and felt an armrest bury itself in my stomach, knocking the wind out of me. Grunting in pain, I rolled onto the chair itself and tried to breathe, fading…

"Well haven't _we_ been up to no good. Calling for me, kid?"

I jerked up and looked around, realizing after a minute that this wasn't the lounge car. I couldn't even hear the train anymore. "Axel?" I said hesitantly.

"That's me. Got it memorized?"

There was a flash of heat and a rumble of flames, and suddenly he was reclining on the railing across from me. That's when I finally realized we were on top of a clocktower somewhere…was this Twilight Town? "Evening Roxas," he said, sitting up. He was wearing that cloak from the islands, and his fur had disappeared—it was more than a little odd to see him without it again after all this time. "Don't remember me, huh? You're always forgetting stuff. You don't mind if I call you Roxas, do you, Roxas?"

I didn't trust myself to answer for a few moments, rubbing my hand where I could still faintly feel the ring. Then my eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Are you the tattoo?"

"Nope." He got up and stalked a little ways from me to lean against the tower. I took several hesitant steps away from him—we _were_ really high up, and I didn't trust this guy. Whoever he was, he wasn't Axel. "Call me a residue," he drawled. "From your wussy friend, that is. If I knew a heart was _that_ much hassle, I never would've signed up for one."

I frowned, trying to understand. "So…you're…"

"The ghost of Axel past, Roxas," he cut in with a smirk, his eyes glinting. "And yeah, it _is_ the past you're so curious about. So why don't I give you a taste of what went on way back in the good ol' days?"

Before I could say no, before I could make a stand and try to get out of there, he raised a hand and I was somewhere else. _Demyx!_ I realized in a panic—he was fading? What the _hell_? But I couldn't move. Instead I glanced around, frowning competitively. _Anyone from the Organization who'd like to be next?_—

—_never supposed to exist, Roxas_—a clash of weaponry—we were _fighting_, why was he fighting m—?

—_polite, shutting me down like that?_—and now Xigbar and Saix both down, they were dropping like flies—!

—_only one I liked_—_Kairi's in the castle dungeon. Now go_—Kairi?! When did she get involved in th—?

**I looked **_**everywhere**_** for you!**

I snapped out of it and put a hand to my heart, struck by that deep sadness, that sudden explosion of joy. _Who was that?_ I wondered faintly. Had that been them? Had that been the person I was looking for now?

"So. You really _do_ remember me this time."

Inexplicably, I felt like I was about to get attacked, and I looked around in a panic for Axel. He was standing on the railing again, looking deeply amused. "Or at least you haven't _completely_ forgotten. History's a bitch, Roxas." He stepped down and started to advance on me, his eyes glittering with speculation. "She also wants to make sure you heard her, so don't be surprised if she repeats herself a couple times. Be _careful_ with us this round or you might break all your toys again, and that just won't do."

"What're you talking about?" I demanded, backing into the wall and feeling very vulnerable just then.

He gave me a very unsettling look. "Who do you think killed Demyx, Roxas?"

I started to reply to that, but just then he jerked away and growled. "Ah, dammit! _You're_ getting in on it again! You never let me have any fun!"

"Who're you talking to?" I asked him, looking around for someone else, but he just kept glaring up at the sky.

"So possessive…" he muttered, turning back to me. "You don't remember him either, huh? That's really kind of sad. He's gotten pretty attached to you." When I only blinked at him in confusion, he sighed. "This ain't my thing, but lemme see if I can help you two out, hold on—"

I saw something for an instant—I thought I saw someone collapsed on the floor, but it was only for a split second before something else interfered—_lucky charm. Be sure to bring it back to me…Promise?_

Then I was back with Axel on the clocktower with a bad feeling. That memory…that first one…had been locked or something. I knew instinctively that it wasn't forgotten, just…forbidden, almost. "I don't understand any of this," I whispered to Axel.

"It's coming a little fast, I guess," he agreed. "Doesn't help that I'm not too sure how to explain that last part…" He glared at me suddenly. "Don't blame me, either. _You _started it. And he's about to throw a fit—all _right_! I'll let him go! Jeez!" He muttered a few curses, scratching his temple. "You better go, Roxas. Say hi to Sora for me."

"_I'm_ Sora," I told him, indignant.

The clocktower around us was growing hazy and indistinct, and I felt my feet start to lift off the ground. He scoffed. "You're not the Sora I know," he said quietly.

Then I was waking up, feeling someone tug the ring off my hand. I groaned, trying to get up, but I was still too exhausted to really move. Whoever it was approached again, this time dragging me up into his arms, and the train rumbled and creaked under us as he carried me back out of the lounge car. I squirmed, trying to catch a glimpse of his face. I must've blacked out, because suddenly I was back in bed and he was gone. Axel shifted from the next bed over, groaning indistinctly, and I rolled my eyes and grinned. _That nutjob's got eyes in the back of his head._ I _was_ a little surprised he hadn't gotten upset about the ring, but as long as I got to go back to sleep, it didn't matter much.

* * *

"Hey, Riku."

"Sora! Hi! How've you been?"

"All right, we just checked into the new hotel," I told him, kicking off my shoes and dropping onto one of the queens. It almost felt odd to have a bed to myself again. "We'll be hopping a train over tomorrow, and that'll be it."

"Great! Dude—the minute you get here I've gotta show you something."

"What?" I asked, grinning and almost bumping myself in the head with the phone as I shifted to get comfortable.

He scoffed. "Well if I _told_ you, that'd sort of ruin it."

I looked up as someone knocked. "Hold on. Yeah?"

"Aren't you coming to dinner?" Marluxia asked, cracking the door.

"You kidding? I ate enough riatzche at lunch to feed a family of five," I told him, grimacing. "Don't talk food to me."

He shrugged. "Do what you will. Axel asked me to ask you."

"He would. Thanks, though." I turned my attention back to Riku as he headed downstairs. "It's actually been a little rough lately," I explained, fumbling for a pillow and tossing it up just to do something with my hands. "Axel had another near-death experience."

"_Another_?" Riku exclaimed, and I realized I hadn't told him about the first two.

"Yeah. He kinda…" I made a small, confused noise. "It's a long story."

"I'm listening."

"Okay. Well, he lost his wedding ring, and somehow I found it again—Zenith, you know—but it turned out the thing was something called a tattoo, and—"

"_You gave him a tattoo_?"

"Well…yeah," I said softly. I wasn't done feeling guilty about that. "I mean, not the kind you get with a needle, but—"

"I know what kind. I know," he said quickly, panicking. "Oh my god. Is he okay?"

"Yes," I started to say, but someone in the background drowned me out.

"Who're you talking about?"

"Nobod—not now, Roxas!"

"Is it Axel? That's my business! Gimme the phone!"

"_No_! Just hold on a sec!"

"What did that idiot do?" Roxas demanded, having evidently confiscated the receiver from Riku.

I heard running footsteps in the background. "Uh. Riku?"

"_Tell me_!"

I stopped short, struck by the desperation in his voice. "He's okay, Roxas," I said finally. "He's _fine_. Just keep that in mind, okay?"

"Still there?" came Riku's voice again on another receiver.

"Yeah."

"Okay, I want to know," Roxas said softly. "Beginning to end. What happened?"

I told them, starting from finding the ring in the desert and ending with Axel's account of the nightmares and Marluxia's encounter with the tattoo. Riku occasionally broke in with questions, but Roxas was silent the entire time. I also briefly went over the motorcycle accident on the battlefield, the fight with Larxene, and even the turd monster and Axel's injury. "So, uh," I said finally. "I don't know how important it is, but he's been through a lot, and I don't think…well, just don't be too hard on him about the ring and…stuff, okay?"

Roxas let out a little, lost chuckle. "Is he really concerned about that?"

"Yeah. It's all he talks about lately."

He cursed. "I married a fuckwit. Just bring that idiot home," he said quietly.

"Will do. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "And, um…thanks, Sora."

I blinked. "Uhhh, you're welcome?"  
"I mean, for, you know…for looking after him."

I couldn't help laughing at that. "He's the one who watches out for _me_. But don't worry, I'm happy to do it," I added.

Roxas snickered half-heartedly, still sounding a little broken. "I'm, um…I've got things to kill," he said. "Thanks for the update. See you."

"Bye." I listened to the click as he hung up, and then Riku took in a slow breath.

"He's upset," he murmured. "He might even get emotional, and it takes a lot to do that to him."

"It would sort of make sense," I pointed out. "Axel went through hell, as far as Larxene was concerned. But at least he's not upset about the ring and all—Axel made it sound like he was walking to the gallows."

"I think he's focusing on the wrong thing," Riku mused. "Roxas could never be that shallow. I mean," he amended quickly, "a devotion and a marriage are a big deal and all, but considering what happened…"

"Yeah." I frowned. "I don't know. It's not like they know each other that well. I'd fret too if it was someone who probably wasn't that attached to me yet. But anyway," I scoffed, shaking my head. "That's _their_ issue. I want to talk _us_," I added in a mock Valley Girl voice—which ended up sounding really gay, in retrospect.

"Us?" he repeated, bemused.

"Well what are we gonna _do_? We've still got the whole summer ahead of us, and we haven't got anything planned," I reminded him. Now that I finally had my friend back, no way was I just going to let things drop again.

He snorted. "Sure. And the Service definitely won't cut into _us_ time."

"We'll be home, won't we? That's good enough. We can plan around that," I told him. "They can't expect us to be on active duty every single day."

"Technically they can, but that tends to piss people off, so they don't."

"Exactly. I'll be home tomorrow, and that's cause for celebration," I said firmly.

"Ego much?"

"If you'd been out here—!" I started angrily, but let it drop when I heard him laughing. "So I say we grab Kairi and run for pizza the minute I get there."

He made an uncomfortable noise. "Love to. Only I've still got some things I'm wrapping up here," he explained. "Xemnas tried to arrange it so I'd be done by the time you got back, but the issue with the underside set us back a bit. Anyway, you don't have to wait around for me. It's gonna seem like a different planet when you get there, trust me."

"No," I said, a little surprised I did. "I'm not going home without you."

"Er…what?"

"I'm not going. I won't do it. You have to come with me," I insisted.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Because."

He snickered.

"What?"

"You're such a weirdo! But fine," he said, and I could hear him grinning. "We'll bang around the Apex if that's what you want. Hope you're not tired of Zexion's cooking yet."

"I'll tell you what I _am_ tired of," I muttered. "_Larxene_. You're gonna hate her."

"So you've told me," he replied, sounding amused. "She can't be _that_ bad—"

"_Yes she can_! You remember that one girl? Uh—what was her name…Liza something? Used to live next to Tidus," I added.

"Popped Wakka's Blitzball in the fifth grade, made Kairi cry buckets, and almost got us both expelled?"

"That's the one."

"_Yes_."

"Bitchier than _her_."

"Oh, wow."

I looked up then because Axel came in, already decked out in boxers and nothing else—likely due to one of the rules. Or Zenith. Whatever. "Bedtime, fraggle face," he said to me, ruffling my hair as he passed and flopped down on the other bed. "I'm still tired and you're not keeping me up."

"I gotta go, Riku. See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

I hung up and glanced back over at the Phoenix. "Fraggle face?" I repeated, getting up and crossing to my suitcase to change. "What's that even mean?"

"Fraggles live in your butthole," he grunted exhaustedly. "Eat your shit."

I snorted and dissolved into laughter for a few moments. "You're making that up," I said finally. "Like the Zoogadytes."

"No 'm not," he grumbled back. "They're a type of infestation. You're sort of an expert on those."

"Fine," I said disbelievingly. "How do you tell when you've got them?"

"Your socks smell like beans."

"Uh-huh. Brilliant, Axel. This is your best one yet."

He smirked at me. "You're gonna check your socks before you go to bed. I know you will."

I froze with my hand half-extended towards my shoes. "No, I won't," I said, quickly covering for it by moving them out of the way. "Sorry. You lose."

"Night's not over, pal," he said simply, and turned over to go to sleep.

* * *

I stumbled downstairs the next morning in a _bad_ mood that the usual gigantic strawberry had not helped and tracked down Larxene in the lobby. "Where's Axel?" I wanted to know.

"He and Marluxia went up to the bathroom," she replied without looking up from her book. "Axel seems to think he's got fraggles. Why?"

"Because my socks smell like _beans_!" I half-shouted, incensed. And then what she'd just said finally registered with me. "Wait, what?"

"Oh, _boy_," she said, smirking. "Just how close to him were you sleeping? Back to back is a bad idea when one of you is infested."

I stared at her in amazement and growing alarm. "Wait a minute, those things are _real_? But—!"

"Of course. Go ask Marluxia," she said dismissively, looking bored. "From the sound of it, he'd better give you a once-over, too."

I really didn't want to think about that, so I just turned and bolted back up the stairs. _No WAY! Axel was making that up! I KNOW he was making that up!_ But it sure didn't seem like it when I got up there only to find the two of them coming out of the bathroom. Axel looked mildly uncomfortable. "That sucks," he was remarking to Marluxia.

"It's unfortunate, but you can pick them up from traveling," the Dryad replied.

"I bet those dusty beds had something to do with it," Axel remarked darkly. Then he caught sight of me. "Oh, hey. Check your socks yet?"  
"Yes, and I'd appreciate it if you kept your canned goods away from my socks," I told him bluntly.

He made a face, and Marluxia sighed. "I was afraid of that…"

"Are you serious?" I asked him, jabbing a thumb at Axel. "I know he's a trickster! I _know_ he is! Are these fraggle things for real? Tell me the truth!"

Marluxia looked confused. "I'm not entirely sure why Axel would lie about something like this."

"To get under my skin. He's done it before."

He rolled his eyes. "At any rate, we'd better grab some pedenthol. That should flush them out."

"I _hate_ pedenthol," Axel groaned, but he started down the stairs anyway.

Marluxia looked me over. "Should I check you, too, or are you just going to take the medication?" he wanted to know.

"Neither. I smell a rat," I told him stubbornly.

He shrugged and followed Axel.

I spent the rest of the morning in a state of general paralysis. Every itch, quiver, or unusual feeling meant there was a civilization of fraggles bent on turning my rectum into a cityscape, and Axel didn't help at all. "You _sure_?" he slurred woozily, swirling the glass of Negra juice that was supposedly laced with pedenthol.

"Yes, I'm sure," I told him, annoyed, and twitched suddenly as I thought I felt something down below. "I'm fine. And I don't want to think about what's gonna happen to you in another minute if what Marluxia said is true."

Axel froze, and a funny expression appeared on his face. Suddenly he cursed and bolted for the stairs, and I ran a hand down my face. _That_ wasn't going to be pleasant. "How long is he gonna take?" I asked, leaning forward and resting my arms on the table. We'd just gotten done with breakfast, after all, and I was more than ready to get back to the Apex.

"However long he takes," Marluxia replied, and Larxene rolled her eyes.

I sighed and got up to head upstairs as well. "I'm gonna go pack. Or something." Although in truth I was hoping to get a call in to Riku. Fraggles aside, there was supposed to be this big ordeal in order to check out of a hotel—the only reason Axel and I'd skipped out on it last time was due to Axel's temper and potentially harmful chakrams. So if we were stuck here for much longer, I had to at least _talk_ to Riku. I was dying to see him.

As I reached the room, I glanced over at the bathroom and recalled Axel was in there. Or so he said. I just couldn't shake the feeling that this was a sham. So I opened my mouth to say something sarcastic only to hear a very pain-filled groan split the silence, followed by a Phoenixian squawk. I swallowed hard, stomach clenching a little at the thought of what might be happening behind that door, and abruptly turned and started back into the guest room.

Only to have someone seize me by the arm and yank me inside, slamming the door and locking it. "Hey, what're—!" But the stranger clapped a hand over my mouth, holding me still against him as he leaned up against the door and waited, barely breathing. I had hesitated, wanting to make sure he didn't have a weapon on him, but now I started to struggle.

"Sora, _stop it_!"

I did that, too shocked to move for several seconds. "Iku?" I managed around his hand, trying to get a look at him. He finally relaxed, releasing me and sighing. "The others are downstairs, right?" he asked quietly as I stepped away from him and stared.

"Uh, yeah, but…what're you doing here? And…" I frowned at him, wondering when he'd gotten a haircut, and how his body was so shadowy, and why did his voice sound different just slightly…

The boy who wasn't Riku smiled faintly at me.

"I'm Xurik."

* * *

Author's Note: I cheated. Chapter 25 is not quite done. But it's close enough, and Sora's being very long-winded about it, it's about to be fall break which is a good time to have updated, and I'm probably going to have to drop some things by the endlessly amazing Tanny-san anyway.

Sorry for shortness, this is the chapter that got cut because of the stupid discrepancy—at the rate this is going, 25 will more than make up for it. Oh, and CHAPTER TITLES! I finally got off my lazy ass and made some up. Sora had a lot to do with them, but let me know if there are any that just don't seem to work.

Anyway, this fic is NOWHERE NEAR dying—I have a million ideas to work with and I'm always coming up with more, so it's GOING to happen it's just GOING to take a while. College is freakish, and it doesn't help that I've been RPing all over the place like a slut. (If you're interested to join in, I can set up a forum/join yours, or you can try to grab me on AIM: StarberriePui.)


	22. Guardian Angel

For several seconds I couldn't do anything but open and close my mouth like a fish, making a faint, choked sound. "But you…aren't you…I mean…!"

"Dead?" he asked hollowly. "Utterly. But I left some things unfinished," he added, jerking nervously at a sound outside.

"So you're a ghost," I said, unable to suppress a tremor as I thought of my childhood fear. A fear that Riku made a profession of exploiting.

But Xurik wrinkled his nose. "Not quite. You could call it that, I guess, but it's more complicated than all that." He turned a speculative look on me. "You don't remember it all, do you?"

"Remember all what?" I asked, even though I thought I had a pretty good idea what "all what" was.

"The past lives," he said dismissively, waving a hand. "I figured you wouldn't. I must remember them now because I'm between," he murmured almost to himself. "I wish I could tell Vexen…" But then his expression soured. "No. Never mind. The important thing is, something's going to happen."

I waited. Xurik didn't say anything, only watching me thoughtfully. "Um…what?" I asked finally.

"I'm not sure yet. But it's going to happen eventually, and it's going to be important."

I wondered if he realized he was repeating himself—or if being so far between was making him a little delusional. "Well, I guess there's not a whole lot we can do about it right now," I pointed out. "Anyway, how exactly are you…" But then I realized. "The comlink!" I said, glancing back at where it was lying on the bedstand. "You…have you possessed it or something?"

Xurik looked annoyed. "Yes," he said testily, "and you've ignored my _every_ warning. I even had to get involved a couple of times, which takes a toll," he added, looking weary.

But I was a little too distracted by my epiphany to really register this. "Then…then when Chlaxas died…you were the one who called up that shield! And you're the one Axel was talking about in that dream! And all that buzzing…!" He was starting to look a little happy about how impressed I was with it all. But then I frowned. "That was a _warning_? How was I supposed to know?"

"I don't _know_, but you'd think someone would start noticing after it kept happening at inopportune moments!" the Lampade spluttered. "It was the only way I could get your attention, and—!" He stopped short, blushing suddenly and looking away. "And it was tough…watching you get hurt."

There was an awkward silence. I took a wary step back.

"No, don't—I _know_ already," he said irritably, waving a dismissive hand. "I was there when Dlax happened."

That time _I_ blushed. "Oh. You, uh. You saw that," I mumbled, embarrassed. It obviously wasn't something I wanted people to know about—especially not someone who might leak it to Riku. "So do you—"

"I wanted to kill him," he said darkly just as I started talking.

That didn't help my growing mortification at _all_, but I didn't have the heart to tell him so. "Uh. Yeah, that…I appreciate that," I told him. "But don't you want to see Riku?" I added quickly when his eyes lit up.

"Riku…" He sighed heavily. "That's…that's probably not a good idea. He's hurting enough…and I don't know if I'm even the same Xurik anymore," he added. "I have all these other lives in my head now, and…it's almost like I'm scrambled together with all these other people I used to be," he added morosely.

I felt a wave of sympathy for him. "Are all your memories in order, at least?"

He nodded. "Oh yeah. I can tell sixth life from eighth, ninth from seventh, first from twelfth—all that. I just can't tell who's who in between."

"So you remember all the way back to first?" I asked, suddenly excited. "Maybe you can talk to Xemnas! He remembers back that far, too."

The Lampade watched me for a moment, his eyes foggy. "Xemnas…" he murmured. "But…" He sighed. "Oh. That's what he meant…"

"Huh?"

"That won't work." He looked away from me, crossing to sit on one of the beds. "I never met Xemnas in my first life. I wouldn't know what to say to him. I wasn't really involved," he added. "I, um…I was an exact replication of Riku back then. Did some really stupid stuff."

"Oh," I said, a little taken aback. "I was wondering why you looked so much like him. I mean, even Roxas and I are a little different, and Axel said we probably can't match any closer."

He grunted noncommittally, and I sat down across from him. "Anyway, we can still talk to Xemnas. I'm sure you could still help out with whatever you know."

"Yeah." Xurik looked away. "Uh…listen, I'm kinda tired, so I think I'll just go back now. See you."

"Wait, Xurik—!"

But he was already gone, and I saw the comlink glow briefly just as he vanished. I frowned at it, trying to make sense of this. He'd come in out of nowhere…was it really just to tell me that something was going to happen? _Maybe he expected something,_ I thought then, blushing. Sure, he might've saved my butt a couple of times, but I wasn't going to change my sexual preference just for him. _Assuming it needs changing in the first place,_ came that nasty little voice in the back of my mind, and I growled at it, getting up to head out and grabbing the comlink just in case.

As I did, I thought I felt something shift down below, and I sighed heavily. This fraggle situation just wasn't getting any better, and I knew from Mom that if you leave something alone for long enough, it won't need medication—because it won't be treatable anymore. I _still_ have nightmares about that episode of chicken pox. So I swallowed my pride, headed down the stairs, and took a breath. "Marluxia, give me the pedenthol," I mumbled.

"What was that?" Axel asked, sounding positively blissful.

"I _said_," I muttered from between clenched teeth, "give me the stupid pedenthol already."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Marluxia said apologetically.

I glared at him, thoroughly embarrassed now and quickly getting furious. "Why not?"

"Because pedenthol doesn't exist," he said simply.

For a few moments I couldn't speak. Then I rounded on Axel, who looked for all the world as though Christmas had come early. "_Gotcha_," he said, smirking and flicking my nose. "I win! A round of applause for our lovely actors!" he added, clapping vivaciously. I watched in horror as Larxene curtseyed and Marluxia tried to hide an amused smirk. "But of course," he added, wrapping an arm around my shoulders while I tried to locate my wits, "my _favorite_ performer was _you_! For the record, everything you thought you felt was _entirely_ psychosomatic. So it was guaranteed to go perfectly! That was _so much fun_!"

He started to say something else, but that's around the time I attacked him. Viciously. And without mercy.

* * *

We finally got off the train a couple of hours later. Larxene and I had gotten into an argument on the train—I forget what about, but I think we ended up fighting over who was leading the four of us and why, and so we were ostracizing one another. I was still royally pissed at Axel, but not to the point that I couldn't tolerate him, so it was with a kind of dread and relief alike that I got off the train alongside him. On the one hand, we were finally getting back to home and Riku—but on the other, we had stopped traveling just when I was starting to enjoy it.

"What're you guys doing here?" Axel wanted to know, grinning broadly when we ran into Demyx and Xigbar just outside the station. He enclosed the Cyborg in a rough hug, cut short by the amount of luggage we were still carrying.

"We were gonna meet you when you got off the train, but tails here managed to get us on the wrong taxi," Xigbar said, jabbing a thumb at the Naiad accusingly.

"It's not like we need an escort. We know how to get to the Apex, Cyclops," Larxene informed him heartlessly over her shoulder as she swept past him. His lip curled and he looked like he was about to do something dramatic, but Demyx put a hand on his arm.

"Xemnas is gonna deal with her," he reminded the Cyborg in a low voice. "It's not worth it."

"I'm number two and I can beat her ass into the ground if I want to," Xigbar disagreed, but he let it go. "Some bitches never change. You guys coming or what?" he added to us.

"We're coming already," Axel muttered. "But as long as you guys're here, you can help with the luggage," he added, tossing a duffel bag to Demyx.

As I glanced over to see him catch it, I noticed a stranger with wide hips and an explosion of orange hair approaching a pair of sinfully beautiful Dryads. He had on a sleeveless leather jacket, and the long-sleeved shirt he was wearing was weird—white, and spotted with…

Suddenly I realized it wasn't a shirt at all.

The Phoenix turned slightly and I realized in horror that he was bandaged from throat to wrists, blood eking out through the white, but it didn't seem to bother him as he smiled back at his friends and urged them forward.

"Don't look." And suddenly Axel's hand was on my face, forcing my eyes away from the wounded Phoenix and back to Marluxia and Xigbar's retreating backs.

"What…what happened to him?"

"The chicken festival," was Axel's only explanation. I couldn't get another word out of him.

We went up a couple of elevators to hit the taxi system and shot off back to Nada Apex. I was a little surprised to find that I could actually recognize some of pear's cityscape—mostly the bigger buildings that didn't get out of eyesight easily, like the huge bronze tower and the pair of smaller spires near the train station. I ended up riding with Demyx and Marluxia while Xigbar, Axel, and Larxene took the one in front of us. "So I heard about the Dryad incident," Demyx was saying once I finally got my thoughts away from that Phoenix and tuned into the conversation. "Xemnas didn't announce that one, right?"

"No. He seems to think Ansem has plans behind it, so he doesn't want to bring it up just yet," Marluxia replied archly.

"That explains why Ansem was so surprised," Demyx murmured. "We got to see him on the last broadcast from the chicken festival, and he kept looking like he was waiting for Xemnas to say something about it. That's really odd."

"Ansem obviously can't bring it up himself. That's probably because it'll reveal the fact that he did it, and he doesn't have an inside source to keep off suspicion," Marluxia mused. "That must mean he plans to frame someone else for it. Perhaps he's figured out a way to pin it on _us_, in which case it'll only look more suspicious on our end not to have brought it to their attention sooner."

Demyx looked doubtful. "I really don't see how he can do that," he admitted. "What could we get out of killing that many Dryads? And how would we get ahold of Time Mages?"

There was a long silence.

"What if Ansem wanted to switch sides?" I asked then. "I mean, it really looks like he's sabotaging his own side, here. Is it possible he's sending _that_ message?"

"If he was on our side, he wouldn't be killing his own," Demyx said coldly. "That's just plain rude."

I started, looking up sharply and meeting his eyes—and for an instant he wasn't him and I wasn't me, but we were both someone else altogether—and then it was back to normal and Marluxia was rolling his eyes. "You have a gift for understatement," he informed Demyx, turning his attention to the window. "A lowlife like that is nothing more than a traitor, and we don't have time for those."

For a frightening instant I was convinced that both of them thought _I_ was a traitor for some reason—but a traitor to what? To whom? I had to have someone to betray and a way to do it before I went about betraying them, I rationalized quickly. _Be careful with us this round or you might break all your toys again, and that just won't do…_

Something banged against the door and I nearly screamed. It turned out to be an exuberant Axel knocking for us to come on already. Marluxia opened the door while Demyx and I fumbled for the luggage and Axel scampered on ahead, calling to us to hurry up. I did just that as we headed for the lobby—but Riku and the better part of the Organization were already waiting for us a stone's throw from the taxi. I saw Axel drop the luggage just as Roxas detached himself from the group and threw himself into the Phoenix's arms, the two of them squeezing together and kissing like a pair of lovers who hadn't seen one another in upwards of fifty years. "Sora!" came Riku's voice, which was more than enough to tear my eyes from them.

"Hey!" I called in response, hurrying over to him like I just couldn't move fast enough and seizing him in a tight embrace. "I missed you! I've got a million things to tell you!"

"Same here," he said, grinning as we pulled apart. "You're okay, though, right? No battle scars?"

"No. What about you?" I demanded, making a move as if to strip him and check him over.

"Squits took care of it, I'm cool," he said quickly, putting his hands together in a "time-out" gesture. "So let's get this stuff inside, and then I wanna know all about it."

"All right," I said, shifting so he could grab some of the bags. "I might need Axel's help with a little of it, if we can get those two to separate," I added, chancing a glance back at them. It looked like they were still devouring each other's faces. Before I could look forward again, I bumped into Riku, who had suddenly stopped and stood still. "What's the matter?"

"Who's _that_?" he wanted to know, nodding to the right of me. I glanced over to see Marluxia and Larxene approaching.

"Marluxia's the one with the pink," I told him, not sure who he was referring to, "and Larxene's the other one. She's the bitch."

Riku stayed silent as the two reached the rest of the group. Marluxia quickly joined forces with Axel, who had extricated himself from Roxas in order to approach Saix alongside the Dryad. The two of them wore matching, deeply disappointed expressions, and as they reached him they glumly exchanged glances and intoned, "_Seventh_." Saix dropped his face forward into his hand as the two of them broke off into raucous laughter.

Not far from them, Xemnas strode forth in his usual billowing black shroud, imprisoning Larxene with an almost incendiary orange gaze. "We must have words," he said tightly. She nodded, pursing her lips, and he briefly greeted Marluxia and Axel before sweeping off towards the lobby with her close behind.

"I don't like her," Riku said finally.

"Me neither," I replied immediately, but I was a little surprised he'd come to that conclusion so quickly. "Anyway. Let's go," I reminded him, anxious to get off the subject of Larxene and onto something more pleasant.

He nodded and led me inside, back up the staircase to the residential compound, and past the thirteen shifting rooms that belonged to the other members of the Organization. I let out a low sigh of relief at seeing something so familiar. "Oh—wasn't there something you were gonna show me?" I asked him, dumping my bags on the bed. I could sort them out later—I'd already done enough packing and unpacking for a lifetime's worth of trips, in my opinion.

His eyes lit up. "Oh, that's right! C'mon!" he said, setting down the two he was carrying and almost bolting out of the room. I followed in an ecstasy of excitement, knowing that if it got Riku this worked up, it had to be awesome. But then I turned a corner into a much larger room and realized he was three levels above me. I stopped short, looking around for stairs. "How'd you get _up there_?" I called up to him.

He hesitated, glancing around for me. "Oh. Uh…" He bit his lip. "Just…walk backwards a little bit, and then hop."

_Zenith,_ I thought irritably, but I did just that, half-expecting to collide with a wall. Instead, I suddenly appeared just next to him and almost fell backwards out of the alcove, but he seized me by the arm to steady me. "It's just a little farther. The elevators are up this way."

I followed him a little more carefully then. It seemed like the rest of Zenith had been less zany than the Apex itself, but that could have been because being around Riku put me back in the mindset of Destiny Islands, where Heartless don't come charging out of toilets at you and bananas are good and harmless like bananas should be.

The elevator was at least as normal as an elevator can be, although instead of soft elevator music someone who was probably Demyx had installed Breaking Benjamin, to which Riku and I proceeded to rock out with our air guitars. That is, until the car began to fill with pink balloons. "Don't worry, it does that," he said when I shot him a "proceed or panic?" look. "We're almost there."

It let us out on top of the building.

On top of the freaking Apex.

"This just got a lot less cool and a lot more terrifying," I told him, trying to catch my breath in the thin air.

"Bubble-diving?" came a voice from behind us, and I realized Axel had followed us like the creepy stalker he is. I was about to tell him so, but Roxas at his side glanced down at the ground and let out a low moan.

"I don't like this, Axel."

"You mean Demyx hasn't showed you? Aww, man! Now I gotta hand his ass to him, and that's tougher than it sounds," he groaned. "C'mon. It'll be over in a minute, c'mon," he added when Roxas squirmed away from him. Looking very much like…well, like I probably did about right then, Roxas turned to Axel—and suddenly seemed to calm down just from looking at him. Axel wrapped an arm around his shoulders and then the two of them took a running jump off the building.

Jumped.

Off.

I felt bile rise in my throat and I turned away with the lamenting moan of "Oh _god_—!"

"Sora," Riku said immediately. "It's gonna be okay, all right? And it's awesome. It'll rock, I promise you."

I hesitated, torn. The one person I couldn't refuse was asking me to do the one thing I _knew_ I couldn't do. I took in a shaky breath. "Riku, I…"

"Do you trust me?"

We both knew the answer to that one. I turned to find that he had a hand outstretched, offering and taking at once. "You got that off Aladdin, didn't you?" I asked him sourly.

He smirked wryly. "Might've. Well?"

"Always," I told him, taking it. He gently guided me into position, wrapping an arm around my waist to support me. "Do me a favor?" I asked, wavering on the precipice there and clinging to him like a drowning person.

"Mm?"

"Don't kill us?"

He laughed at that, and then the world turned upside down as we _leapt_—

Okay. I've been over this heights thing before, but just because I'm afraid of heights doesn't mean I get nervous every time I get up on a footstool—haha, _no_. You're missing the point. Nada Apex was _high up_, all right? Like, freaking…_miles_. Well, okay, probably not that high—but really, really up there. So I was completely justified in screaming my head off like something dying.

And now we were about to hit the ground already and oh _god_—I buried my face in Riku's shoulder, not really caring if he thought that was weird or weak now that we were going to _die right here and now_—and quite suddenly we bounced. Without the slightest scratch or bruise, without so much as messing up Riku's 'do, we bounced straight up into the air, almost but not quite reaching two thirds up the building's height. Then we pitched for the ground again, earth became hell—then we bounced. And bounced. Riku was cheering and carrying on like this was some kind of messed up roller coaster while Axel whooped from my right and Roxas and I echoed each other's screams. Somehow it almost seemed to get worse as it wound down, I guess because I kept waiting for it to _stop_, but at long last we hit the ground and lay still. I was completely unharmed but still trembling like a terrified bird, and I could feel Riku's heartbeat going a mile a minute.

"Wow, guys, when'd you have time for _that_?" Axel asked.

I really wasn't in the mood, but I looked up anyway, gradually realizing I was collapsed on top of Riku and the two of us were panting like exhausted bloodhounds. Letting out a frustrated scream, I rolled off him and stumbled most menacingly towards Axel, almost falling over in the process.

"Let's go again!" Roxas said brightly, his cheeks flushed and his eyes dancing with excitement. Then he and Axel took off running up the building, holding hands.

I stared after them, not entirely sure I wanted to think about trying that one. "All right," I said, turning back to Riku. "You had your fun. I'm scared to death. Can we please go back inside?"

"You mean it wasn't exhilarating at all?" he asked, rising and reaching out to catch me as I stumbled to one side. "Bungee jumping without the cord. That's how Xigbar described it, anyway."

"I'm all right, you didn't have to do that," I mumbled indignantly.

"What?"

"Nothing. How do we…I mean, do we have to run up like that?" I asked, looking up at Roxas and Axel's figures as they slowly disappeared over the edge

"We could," he said, shrugging. "Or we could go into the Primary lobby and catch the elevator up. Or grab a taxi to the topside lobby. Whatever you wanna do," he added, spreading his hands.

I heard Axel shout, his voice sharpened by that shriek that belongs to a Phoenix, and glanced up to see the two figures approaching at breakneck speed (literally). Not to mention it looked like another couple of people had joined in. "Let's go in the bottom and go up that way," I said glumly. "Looks like this is gonna become a fallout zone in a minute. How did all that work, anyway?" I added as we started in. It still felt like my legs were made of jelly.

"Rule of three," Riku replied.

Sighing, I turned to look at him. I _really_ wasn't in the mood for this kind of thing. "Rule of _what_?"

"Rule of three. Things happen in multiples of two," he added.

"Naturally."

"I know. What it works out to mean is that it wouldn't have happened quite that way if I'd fallen off alone," he explained. "It has to be two people at once. And it evidently doesn't work with three people, but it'll work with four. Or six. Or eight. Not that anybody does _that_ often."

"So what would've happened if you let go?"

He bit his lip. "That would've been bad."

I choked and started to hyperventilate.

"Sora, c'mon," he said reassuringly, dropping an arm around my shoulders. "I wouldn't have done that. And neither would _you_," he added. "You had a death grip on me the whole time. I was worried I'd bruise."

That actually calmed me down, and I fell silent as we headed for the elevator. "Never again," I managed finally.

"Come off it," he said, grinning. "You've had that fear since we were kids. It's time to trade it in."

"For what? Fear of spiders?" I asked sarcastically, rewarded when he twitched and looked uncomfortable. "It's a completely rational and legitimate fear. Stop screwing with it," I added sharply.

He rolled his eyes, stepping away from me and into the elevator. "Whatever. We're gonna beat that thing if it kills me."

I punched him in the arm hard enough to hurt. "Don't say that!"

"What?"

"Just don't…say stuff like that, okay?" I asked, thinking immediately of Axel's multiple brushes with death and the whole ordeal on the underside.

Riku didn't seem to understand, probably because he'd forgotten what he'd said in the first place, but he left it alone to keep from getting punched again and hell if I was going to remind him. "Well, um…I actually have to get back to work," he said gingerly, and I felt bad for being in such a rotten mood on the day I finally got to see him again. "I thought I was gonna be done by the time you got here, but it turns out we're still backlogged…"

"That's okay. Mind if I come with?"

"Suit yourself. It's gonna be boring, though," he said glumly.

"Boring might actually be a good thing right now," I pointed out as the elevator started filling with balloons again.

As it turned out, I wasn't bored at all—mainly because Xigbar and Demyx were sitting in the library where Riku was picking up, but also because Axel joined us and Riku completely gave up on working as the discussion turned to our travels. I was careful to leave out almost everything about bananas and the incident with Dlax, as well as whatever had happened with the tattoo, and Axel was quick to follow my lead. Riku listened with starry eyes, and on more than one occasion he said something amounting to, "I wish I could've gone with you."

"It wasn't that great," I told him whenever he said it. "But I wish you could've, too."

"Which is around the time that…what was it, a Squall?" Axel asked me as we came towards the end of our joint retelling.

"You mean the lady who came in wanting her banana? Yeah, I think she was. Wings, right?" I added, looking around for that other guy to compare.

"Yeah. And she was pissed as hell at him for grabbing the thing! It was unbelievable!"

I snickered in spite of myself. "You should've seen her go after Axel. _Excuse me_! _Excuse me_!"

"I'm gonna hear that sound in my nightmares," he lamented, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Anyway, that was completely Sora's genius at work, and now I'm _really_ glad—"

"—that you told me what bananas do. I know, right?" I interjected quickly, knowing that in a second a topic would come up that I _really_ wanted to avoid.

Axel looked a little confused for a moment, but then he nodded in understanding. "Uh. Yeah. Absolutely."

Xigbar started to chuckle.

"What's with you?" the Phoenix wanted to know, and I took a furtive glance in Riku's direction. He was half-listening, shuffling through a couple of papers for something. Riku's actually a terrific multi-tasker, and I've had plenty of conversations with him where he split his attention between me and homework. But I'm not good at it and a lot of my essays don't get done.

"Nothing," Xigbar said simply, sobering. "A tattoo, though, huh? Hell of a way to go."

"If you want, I could probably dig another one out for you," I offered wryly.

He grinned. "Nah. I just said it was a hell of a way—_my_ way's gonna be different. I have every intention of going down in a hail of gunfire," he added with a satisfied nod.

Axel rolled his eyes. "Out in a blaze of glory. That's Xigbar for you."

"Have you got a better idea?"

"I do," Demyx spoke up, looking pensive. He hesitated, almost as if he was surprised we were giving him the floor. "I'd like to go out doing something I love," he admitted quietly. "So there's…no regrets, you know?"

Xigbar snorted. "That's a wussy way to go."

"It is _not_!"

"I can understand that," I interrupted. "Of course, I guess it would kind of suck if it was something like sparring and you weren't _done_—"

"Probably wouldn't matter." Riku glanced over at me, looking thoughtful and speculative all at once. "And how do you wanna go? Thought about it?"

I hesitated. "Er. Not really. I guess…" I frowned. "I wanna go while I'm still a little young, I think. The idea of getting old kinda creeps me out."

"_Everything_ creeps you out," he said dismissively, tossing an eraser at me.

"And what's your big idea? Black widow bite?" I asked him, smirking.

He looked appalled at the very thought. "_Ew_. No. I actually want to be really, really old…" He smirked slyly. "And I wanna be orgasming."

This was met with a round of laughter from the others while I stared at him and tried not to blush. "I _like_ that idea," Xigbar intimated, still grinning broadly. "What about you, Axel?" he asked then. "You're the one we keep having to worry about. Don't tell me you haven't thought about it."

"Of course I have," Axel said nonchalantly. He considered the question for a moment, looking very much like an expert who was going to put all our ideas to shame. "I don't want it to be a big long deal," he said finally. "None of that last words, promise me, tell my wife I love her bullshit. No. Actually, I don't even want to see it coming. In short, guys," he added, grinning. "I want to _explode_."

Xigbar chuckled. "You're a nutter. You know that?"

"Are you guys talking about death again?" Roxas asked then, entering and only half-heartedly resisting Axel's insistent tug at his arm. "You're depressing as hell, Xigbar."

"It's a part of life," the Cyborg reminded him sagely. "And it's our responsibility to make it just as wicked awesome."

"So what's your way?" Demyx wanted to know. "Have you thought of something yet?"

"If it'll make you shut up, I want to be torn apart by wild dogs," my other replied flatly, and promptly took possession of Axel. "I especially don't want to hear about it around _this_ one," he added over his shoulder.

"Am I still in trouble?" the redhead asked piteously.

"Yeah. Deep trouble," Roxas replied, and I quickly turned away as the two of them started to get more intimate. Riku caught my eye and mimed shooting himself in the head.

"Get a room, guys," Demyx said, rolling his eyes.

I silently agreed, and conveniently enough there came a knock at the doorjamb. "Axel," Xemnas said sharply, beckoning with two fingers. I could see Marluxia and Larxene standing behind him. Larxene looked like she'd gotten a little roughed up, but it was hard to tell at that distance.

The Phoenix groaned, gently pushing Roxas off him and rising. "I'll see _you_," he said, running a hand down the Sylph's jawline, "back at my room."

"Or you'll what?" Roxas practically _purred_.

"Or things will get unpleasantly _hot_," Axel replied suggestively, and then withdrew to stalk irritably towards Xemnas and the others.

There was a long silence, and then Xigbar cleared his throat. "So anyway. Death, right? Sucks."  
"Here we go," Roxas muttered, throwing his hands up. "I'll be up in Axel's room if you need me," he said to Riku, and moved on out. I opened my mouth, half-inclined to stop him—after all, he _was_ my other as well as my partner, and I hadn't seen him in several weeks—but I let it go. Until he and Axel calmed down, there wouldn't be any reaching either of them anyway.

But as I turned my attention back to Riku and the others, I realized that Demyx had gotten unusually close to Xigbar and seemed to be murmuring something that was unmistakably a come-on. My jaw almost dropped—_Demyx_?! Well, okay, he wasn't that dominating of a person, but that didn't automatically mean…oh, jeez. This Zenith crap was really starting to rattle my nerves around. Much to my relief, however, Xigbar turned and shot him a very cold look. "Maybe you should go back upstairs," he said sharply.

Demyx recoiled and, with a mumbled apology, quickly disappeared from the library. Riku glanced after him, then looked to me. "Did _he_ ever pick the wrong moment," he muttered.

"I better double check with Xemnas about those reports," Xigbar announced, stretching and rising. "And then I gotta quiz you," he added to Riku. "Have you been keeping up with the rules?"

"Mostly," Riku murmured, looking embarrassed. "I actually had a question for you. I got stuck on the last set of problems," he added, drawing out a set of what looked like worksheets as Xigbar walked around to read over his shoulder. I huddled close too, more than a little intimidated at the complicated strings of letters running up and down the pages. "If today is tomorrow, and tomorrow is yesterday, what's backwards?"

"Start at the beginning," Xigbar said patiently. "What's today?"

"Wednesday…?" Riku hazarded.

"No, dude, that's not what the question's asking. It means _today_ today—today in general," he added when Riku and I both shot him mystified looks.

Riku frowned, beginning to look frustrated. "But that gives me too many possibilities! I can't just assume—!"

"That's right, it's springing the rule of mess on you," the Cyborg interrupted. "This is a tricky bastard you've got here. C'mon now, you can do this. Narrow it down…"

"Friday," Riku said triumphantly, and Xigbar gave him a gentle shove.

"Atta boy! Now what?"

After a moment of thought, Riku murmured, "Rule of logic says backwards is forwards, so after factoring in tomorrow and yesterday…" He snapped his fingers. "Sunday."

"Bingo. You keep that up," Xigbar said, turning to leave while I looked at the complicated worksheets in growing chagrin. I saw him stop at the doorway out of the corner of my eye, and looked up, feeling something close to déjà vu. "Sora," he said sharply, turning just enough to make eye contact. "You've been a good boy so far. Do me a favor and don't fuck anything up. 'Kay?"

"That's not part of the plan," said the person who wasn't quite me.

Xigbar left without another word, and I realized Riku was staring after him. After a moment or two, my best friend turned back to me, wide-eyed. "What the hell was that just now?"

I was a little too focused on what had just happened to reply just then. "_That's_ what it was," I murmured, thinking back to Demyx on the taxi. I had definitely connected with them…come to think of it, I hadn't started connecting with anyone from the Apex until Xaldin back when Axel and I first left. But why was I connecting now? Could it be that having all the others around had something to do with it? Or was I just more open now after all this time?

"What's what it was?" Riku wanted to know, quickly getting annoyed. "That was really odd! That…that didn't even sound like _Xigbar_," he added, looking back at the doorway in confusion and alarm.

"It wasn't," I told him bluntly. "Or at least it wasn't the Xigbar we know. Look…has Xemnas talked to you about past lives, by any chance?" From the blank expression on his face, I gathered that Xemnas hadn't. "Okay, well…" I shrugged helplessly, not sure where to begin, and Riku got comfortable—probably realizing this would take awhile. "According to Xemnas anyway, we've had lives before. Kind of a reincarnation thing, I guess—only I'm not getting the sense that we change very much," I added, thinking back to how similar the Axel from the tattoo had been. "But whatever connections we made in the very _first_ life are going to affect everything that comes after. So from what I understand, the me from then has been connecting with everyone Axel and I had to go get. Xemnas must've known that would happen, which is why he sent me in the first place."

Riku seemed to be experiencing the kind of blindsided confusion that I could fully identify with, so I fell silent to let that sink in. "Okay," he said finally. "The past you connecting with the past them. I guess that makes sense."

"Which is more than I can say for Zenith," I muttered more out of habit than anything else.

He got up and took a few steps away, putting his hands on his hips and dipping his chin the way Riku does when he's thinking. "So who's left?" he asked after a minute. "If it's still happening, I'm guessing you haven't gotten around to everyone just yet."

"Well…" I considered that. "We got to everyone on the trip," I began, trying to think back. "There was, uh, that…what's his name…the chef guy first, and then Vexen, then the other one with the poker game…Marluxia and Larxene, and now Demyx and Xigbar. So that's about seven of them."

"Which leaves Lexaeus, Zexion, Roxas, Xemnas, Saix, and Axel," Riku rattled off.

I frowned. "No, I'm pretty sure I connected with Xemnas," I added quickly, remembering the discussion we'd had about Kingdom Hearts. "And I _know_ I've hit Axel by now…" I thought back to that incident with the tattoo. It seemed like an unmistakable encounter, but something made me hesitate. That had definitely been the past Axel…or _a_ past Axel of some sort, but oddly enough, it felt like something got left dangling. "If I haven't connected with Axel by now, I never will," I said anyway, rolling my eyes.

"What about me?"

I glanced over to see that Riku was dead serious, his eyes open and curious. "You?" I repeated, caught off guard. "But…I mean, these are all new people," I reminded him, jabbing a thumb in the Organization's general direction. "You've been around…_forever_. There's nothing to connect _with_," I added.

He didn't seem to see it that way. "I guess it's possible we connected a long time ago…"

"Why're you worried about it?"

Riku looked up, surprised, and considered that. "If it's true what you said," he began, "and the first life affects us…if it's affecting us right _now_, even, then I want to know what kind of a relationship we had in the past," he said firmly. "Chances are it won't change anything, but if we're supposed to hit any stumbling blocks, I want to know about it."

I rolled my eyes, getting a little frustrated. "It doesn't _matter_, Riku. What matters is what's going on right now. For all I know, we never even met in the first life." Then I hesitated. "I mean…do you just want to follow along with whatever happened before? That's not like you."

"You're right. It's not," he said with a hint of an edge to his voice. "And that's not what I want to do. I want to prevent it from interfering, not let it in. Sora…" His voice was unusually soft that time, and he turned away from me, watching the doorway pensively. "What if something happened to one of us? Something bad?"

A sudden memory of that dream surfaced in my mind—that one where he'd been about to attack me. Axel had experienced death… _Did Riku kill me once?_ I wondered, feeling a chill. But then I shook my head. _Get it together! Whatever it was happened an eternity ago. It's ancient history, not a prophecy._ "If something bad happens to one of us, the other one takes care of him until he gets better. That's the way we work," I told Riku firmly.

He fell silent for several moments, blinking at me in surprise, and then chuckled. "Yeah. Sorry I got so worked up over it—I guess sometimes you just have to break it down for me like that."

I relaxed. "No problem."

"But seriously," he said suddenly, "we've only got a couple more days here. We'll probably be coming back here when the Exchange happens, but until then, you and I are gonna be working assignments back at the islands. So connect while you can," he added just as I opened my mouth to ask what that had to do with anything. "There might be something important behind it."

"It's not like I can control it," I pointed out. "But I'll give it a shot. This might be something we go through with every life, who knows," I added glumly, waving a hand. In the back of my mind, Zenith was still responsible for all of this, and Zenith was unpredictable as always. "So anyway, did you want to get back to work? Maybe I can help," I added. After all, I was good and ready to get back to the islands—but no way was I going anywhere without Riku.

"Thanks," he said, pulling out a few books. "See if you can find any reference to the Heartless in this one," he said, handing me an older one that was still partially coated with dust. "Oh—and the words shift, so check every third page."

I did that for a while, slowly starting to frown in confusion. "That's not right, Riku," I told him finally. "I keep running into the same pages. This one's every fifth page," I added, holding one of them up as if to demonstrate.

"Oh, right. Sorry." He went back to working for a minute, hesitated, and looked up again. "How'd you know that?"

I froze. "I…um." For several seconds I just stared at the book, like I thought that would give me the answer, and then turned it in my hands in case there was some surreptitious "5" lurking in a corner. "I have no idea," I said finally, looking at him in bewilderment and chagrin.

He smiled. "You're starting to understand how it works."

* * *

We spent another couple of hours poring over the books—which were just as boring as Riku had promised, but that was fine with me—and then trumped downstairs for dinner. It was clear that Zexion wasn't used to having the whole Organization under the same roof again since he kept counting heads, cursing, and ducking back into the kitchen. He was even using the Dusks to carry the food around, which was a little odd for me after not seeing them for so long. Those things were just a little creepy no matter how you looked at them.

As far as the rest of the Organization went, it sounded like a cafeteria and felt like one of those family gatherings where most of the people were complete strangers you might've seen twice in your life. Riku was actually pretty popular, in part I think because he looked and sounded so much like Xurik. He'd also gotten really close with Vexen, Zexion, and the one I had yet to meet—Lexaeus. Riku pointed him out to me at the table, not that he was hard to miss. "Saix brought him from the battlefield a couple of days after you left," he explained. "He's actually really quiet. You wouldn't think it to look at him."

"What race is he?" I asked softly. I still wasn't clear on all of them, but I didn't really recognize this one—although he reminded me a bit of the man with dun-colored hair from the caravan. They both had the same tanned skin; it wasn't as dark as Xemnas's, but kind of yellowed and weathered, almost like rock.

"Golem," Riku replied.

"Earth?"

"Yup."

"Fantastic," I said sarcastically, unable to suppress a grin. "If we all join forces, I bet we can summon Captain Planet."

Riku snorted into his drink and came very close to choking for several moments. "You okay?" I asked him, more than a little concerned when he kept gasping and sputtering. "Are you? Hey!" He nodded helplessly, trying to speak and only managing several weak coughs. "All right, Heimlich maneuver, let's go," I said abruptly, standing and taking up position behind him.

"Y-you'll break my ribs," he got out, finally coming out of it and batting my arms away. "You don't know how to _do_ the Heimlich maneuver. Besides, that was a drink," he added as I sat back down. "There was nothing to Heimlich!"

I snickered. "That's not a verb, Riku."

"I just made it one. Deal."

Axel was sitting across from me with Roxas at his side—the two of them were practically inseparable, and they'd evidently gotten a new pair of rings and remarried—and Xigbar and Demyx weren't far from us, either. Saix probably would've been around too if he wasn't sitting at Xemnas's right hand. The two of them seemed to be having a discussion with Marluxia and Vexen about the massacred Dryad cult and what to do about it, and Xemnas seemed a lot more relaxed somehow—probably because the Larxene thing had been taken care of. She'd definitely gotten smacked around or something, but when I asked about it, Axel shook his head. "Xemnas wouldn't've laid a hand on her. She did that to herself."

And so I learned not to screw with Xemnas. Like I needed reminding.

Our discussion was pretty much broken into little groups, but after a while a common thread emerged in the form of the Heartless. "You guys would've knocked a Reaper Heartless out of business before he knew what was coming," Xigbar confirmed when the subject of the underside came up. "Nasty ones, yeah, but they're pretty slow."

"And really loud," Axel added. "You could kill one blindfolded if you had to."

"So you said that other one…Lynx Heartless, right?" Riku asked gingerly. When Xigbar nodded, he continued, looking uncomfortable. "I mean, is there any connection with…" He nodded furtively towards Xemnas.

"No," Axel said immediately.

"We call them that because they can see into the future just a bit," the Cyborg explained. "Think of it as being able to use the rule of logic at all times, for all situations. That wouldn't work," he added after thinking it over a little, "but something like that. A Lynx Heartless actually sees things more clearly than a Lynx, but it has limited range."

"There _are_ a couple of other Heartless like us, though," Roxas pointed out. "I heard somewhere that there are such things as Sylph Heartless."

"Horns," Xigbar told him, tapping his head. "Those are pretty weak."

"Do _not_ fuck with Phoenix Heartless," Axel said, looking squeamish.

Xigbar let out a peal of laughter. "Somebody dared you to pull the tail, didn't they?" he asked knowingly, his gold eye dancing with mirth.

"I was nine years old." The Phoenix swallowed, looking faintly traumatized. "It got _ugly_."

"So did you ever get to see what this thing looked like?" I asked Riku in the meantime. "The way you describe it, it almost sounds like it was invisible."

"I think it was," he told me frankly, grimacing. "Or it was really small, or…something. I know we checked around the room more than once, and we never saw anything. It wouldn't have been physically possible for it to get out of there that fast."

"This _is_ Zenith," I pointed out. "Physics don't really have a habit of applying." He still looked doubtful, and I frowned. "Okay, say it _was_ invisible, and then there was that figure in the doorway, the unearthly sounds, the apparition…" I shuddered, thinking suddenly of Xurik. "It's starting to sound like a ghost story."

"Sora, Sora, _Sora,_" Axel interrupted, shaking his head and sounding deeply disappointed. He smirked when I blinked at him in incomprehension, his eyes glinting. "Just where do you people think you get your ghosts from?"

* * *

Author's Note: HAY WUT. I made a deadline? Seriously?! What's wrong with me?! Alright, well, we've come full circle and now we're back to ghosts. Yep, you guessed it. That's what the fic was supposed to be about. From the beginning.

Epic fail aside, this is a bit of an apology chapter, not just because of the wait but because the last one was so short. With Christmas break coming up, I'm definitely hoping for some more frequent updates. It also helps that Sora's been more talkative lately, and Axel has for the most part shut up.


	23. Dangerous Games

"So now we're _ghost hunters_?" I argued to Riku back up in his room. "That doesn't make sense! Marluxia made it sound like the Heartless were being leaked _deliberately_ from here! Ghosts have been around forever, so that would mean…!"

"Yeah," Riku said quietly from where he was sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"But I thought Ansem only just started being around!" I continued, almost moved to kick something. "If they're all over the place, that means they can move around outside of Destiny Islands, and we're _screwed_ because we can't bring Axel and Roxas with us!"

"You're overreacting."

"_I'm reacting just the right amount_!"

"Sora," he groaned, reaching over and grabbing me by the arm as I paced past him. He yanked me onto the bed beside him and frowned at me. "Just relax, would you? You've been tense all day."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I don't know…I guess it just feels like nobody tells me about these things."

"I figured Axel would've mentioned that by now."

"Yeah, well…" I frowned. "He gets around to a lot of it, but it seems like he skips over the really important things."

"You've been hanging out with him too much lately, that's for sure."

I glanced over at Riku in surprise, not sure how to reply to that. "You keep pulling this number," he said with a wry grin, running a hand through his hair.

"Oh." I groaned, rolling my eyes. "That better go away."

"Anyway," he continued, straightening a little. "About the ghost thing, it has to do with Zenith's connection to our world. There was bound to be a little runoff, especially because of the way the seal works, so we've always had a little interference from time to time." He wrinkled his nose. "Most of it's smoke and mirrors to begin with—we've even run into that at the islands—but some of them are real. It's just that we're the only ones who can tell them apart, because you can't actually _see_ the Heartless unless you've been infested or you're from Zenith. Our beef isn't with the runoff," he added solemnly. "The nutters who run around with the crosses and EMFs can have those. Our problem are the influx that's been hitting Destiny Islands alone. Lucky for us, they don't seem to be wandering very far."

"If they did, it'd make it a hell of a lot harder to run experiments on them," I murmured. "But then, Ansem isn't from Zenith…so he _should_ be able to go wherever he wants."

"Demyx says it's got something to do with the water," Riku replied, shaking his head. "But you've got a point. And Ansem might actually be pretty restricted—did you see his eyes?"  
"Not for a while, no," I admitted, trying to remember back when we'd been kidnapped.

"They're the same as Xemnas's. And I don't think it's contacts," he added wryly. "I asked about it, but apparently that's one of the things they don't want us to know about."

"Like Kingdom Hearts?" I volunteered.

"I guess," he said, shrugging. "I haven't heard anything about that, though. Any ideas?"

"Only that Axel doesn't like to hear me say it. And I don't think the past me likes to hear Xemnas say it," I added with a frown.

"Well." Riku threw up his hands. "We could talk about this all night, but I gotta get some sleep in. Zenithian books can really scramble your brains."

"For once I can sympathize," I remarked, standing. "Night."

"Night."

I shut the door and headed back to the other guest room, passing a sleepy Demyx counting his way to his room. It still felt strange not to have the train rumbling underfoot, and even stranger to think that Axel wasn't within earshot at all times. Even so, the transition back had been unremarkable, as if I'd just reverted without having to think about it. Dlax and Chlaxas and tattoos and riatzche were already distant memories that almost seemed like they'd happened to someone else.

As I crossed the threshold, I felt a sudden chill. Something wasn't right here. I immediately thought of the Lynx Heartless, wondering if one of them had snuck up here somehow, or if there was something even more terrible lurking in the bathroom or closet. For the first time since I was ten years old, I was actually scared of the dark.

A form solidified next to me and Xurik was there, glancing around the room in alarm. "Something's wrong," he said sharply. "Something's…missing."

I relaxed then, finally recognizing that familiar hole in reality. "It's that person again. The one who disappeared," I told him. "Brandy and all. They must've been here…waiting for me," I realized more than a little sadly.

Xurik suddenly looked deeply worried. "Not Kairi?" he asked.

"Kairi? No! Well, almost, once—but no, she's back at the islands," I added when he put his hands to his head in disbelief. "Didn't Riku ever mention her to you? She's his girlfriend."

He looked, if possible, even more surprised at that. "She—Kairi is—_Riku's_—!" The Lampade scratched his head. "Well _that_ does not make sense."

"Sora?" Someone knocked at the door.

Xurik was gone by the second knock, and by the third, the door had opened and a pajama-clad Riku peered around the edge. "Was someone else in here?" he asked.

"Uh—I…no," I managed, knowing I had a horrible poker face and cursing whatever genes made it that way. "I was, um. Talking. To myself."

He looked more than a little concerned. "Zenith hasn't been kind to you, has it?"

"No. What do you need?"

"I just wanted to give you this back," he said, handing me my vest. "You left it in my room. And did you want that banana Axel mentioned?"

"_Axel—do—WHA_?!"

"He said you needed one," Riku clarified, frowning. "Said it was important. But Zexion says they're out until next month at the earliest."

I felt faint. Riku, then, hadn't absorbed anything about bananas from the discussion in the library. And if he'd found one and managed to give it to me… "I, um. No. I don't need…I will _never_ need a banana. It's cool. Forget it. Seriously," I said firmly, "_forget it_."

He blinked at me. "Uh. Okay. Don't get any weirder, Sora. Night."

"Oh—wait a sec," I said then, remembering. "Have you seen Kairi lately?"

"Here and there, yeah."

"What'd you tell her? I mean, as far as…with me gone and all," I added.

"I said you were vacationing in the Caribbean."

"Ah. And?"

"She says bring her back a pirate hat."

I chuckled. "She's doing okay, then." I'd been a little worried the brandy would have some aftereffects, but all my memories of her seemed intact.

"Better than okay," Riku confirmed. "But she doesn't know about Roxas just yet, and let's keep it that way. It's bad enough she knows about Axel as it is, but he didn't have a choice at the time."

I hesitated. It had hurt to find out that Riku had excluded me from this part of his life for so long, and I hadn't really expected to have to conceal absolutely everything from Kairi. She was hurt enough already after the whole thing with Ansem and Madagascar. "We can never tell her?" I asked in a small voice.

He smiled sadly. "I'd love to, Sora. I would. And it was tough keeping it from you, for what it's worth, but she's not a part of this. _You_ weren't even a part of this until we screwed up, and…" He scratched his head, looking a little embarrassed. "I was hoping to protect you both. But I couldn't. So now we have to protect her."

For a few moments he let me absorb that, and when it was clear that neither of us was going to say anything else, he started to leave. "Hey," I said suddenly, looking up and meeting his eyes. "For what it's worth, I'm…glad you screwed up."

Riku chuckled, but his eyes were soft. "Silly. Go to bed," he added over his shoulder.

* * *

The next afternoon found me holed up in the guest room, not exactly scared to go out but not exactly comfortable about trying, either. I wasn't used to being around the Apex on my own—back when Riku and I were sick we'd both been bedridden the whole time, but now Riku was off at the Service and I was alone. Axel and Roxas were both downstairs with the others, alternately practicing for the Exchange and sucking face, so I'd only get in the way.

Which left me with nothing to _do_.

I pored over the worksheets Riku'd left behind, thinking back to the conversation we'd had. After what had happened with Demyx, I didn't want any more surprises, so I got Riku to tell me everything about Zenith's sexual habits. From what I understood, Naiads and Dryads were all gay and lesbian, Sirens and Phoenixes were…yeah, Lampades and Leprechauns were straight without exception, Sylphs and Lynxes could go either way, and everyone else was…well, in Riku's words, "Straight for procreation, homo for recreation." Which basically meant that Luxord and Zexion were the only two members unlikely to take an interest in anyone besides Larxene.

It's not that I'm a foaming-at-the-mouth homophobe who can't stomach the idea of two guys falling in love, it's just that it made me uncomfortable—and after what happened with Dlax, I wanted to know about it if someone could get designs on me. Speaking of which, Riku had already dispelled all my fears back when he explained his feelings over the phone. Nothing had changed between us, but sometimes it seemed like we were both just waiting for the other one to bring it up.

I still wasn't sure where we were going with it or how far we were going to take it, primarily because I was more interested in the connections I was making with the Organization members. There had been another two of them at breakfast: Saix and Zexion. These were different, I realized, from the ones back on the road with Axel. Back then, what I'd said or done had connected specifically with this world, with _Zenith_, but these new ones were like echoes from a life long gone. They were more intense, too. I'd definitely gotten the sense that they were intensifying over time, especially when I looked at Xaldin's reaction compared to Larxene's, but it scared me to think what these new ones would do to the current relationships. I hated Larxene, I'd almost gone off at Xemnas, Marluxia and Demyx had made me feel like a traitor among the betrayed—what if something changed my partnership with Roxas or my friendship with Axel?

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't notice the Dusk until it was right in front of me. Letting out a startled "Gyeah!" I yanked my legs up and scuttled back along the bed, but the thing didn't seem affected. It grabbed one of my hands with its…tentacle…_thing_, which felt weirder than I know how to describe, and tugged insistently. "Let go! W-what do you want?" I demanded, pulling away.

It seemed a little nonplussed, but morphed away from me and beckoned, cocking its head to one side like an inquisitive puppy. Apparently it wanted to show me something, unless Zenith was being unreliable as always, but why _me_? I had a sudden image of the two of us bubble-diving off the top of the Apex and sincerely hoped that the Dusk had better taste than Riku.

Feeling more than a little stupid, I got up to follow this syrupy white thing through the halls of the Apex. After all, it wasn't like I was doing anything right then, and maybe there was a point to this. Or maybe that was too much to hope. It led me past the shifting rooms and up a winding staircase that I hadn't noticed before—that, knowing Zenith, might not have even existed before—and into a small room.

I didn't have to be told that this was Xemnas's study. It had the feel of him all over it, a little dark and slightly musty but organized, with books all along the walls and ceiling. Yes, ceiling. There was only one window, a hole of light in the wall-to-wall bookshelf, and a broad desk across the middle that was covered with stacks of papers and other odds and ends. It looked like someone had scribbled in yellow crayon on the corner of it.

The Superior was standing on top of a stool with his back to me, flipping through a black book. As the Dusk went up and tugged on his shirt, he reached up to shelve it in the ceiling and pull down another. "Yes, I know. Thank you for coming, Sora."

"Um. No problem," I mumbled, a little taken aback. Xemnas was wearing a bright red shirt and black slacks, and somehow that just did _not_ suit him as well as the usual black shroud.

"I called you here in order to get up to date on our current situation," he said, stepping down from the stool and motioning to a chair. He passed behind the desk and sat, steepling his fingers. "From the way the others have aligned, it would appear that you had no trouble convincing them."

"No, I…it was like…" I hesitated. "You know the past lives thing you mentioned? It kind of felt like we connected that way."

He nodded. "Could you control it?"

I hesitated. "Not really. I mean, I could kind of guess when it was about to happen, but…no," I said finally.

"That was to be expected," he admitted, looking thoughtful. "Without access to the memories from the first life, it would be virtually impossible to synchronize reliably. However, this confirms my suspicions and proves that you are an indispensable asset in this war."

I almost missed the last part, too distracted by that sudden revelation. If he knew about this…and if he had access, that meant…Xemnas could connect _at will_! And not only did he have the knowledge of the Xemnas of now and the Xemnas of then, but all the Xemnases in between—however many lives we'd been through by now were locked up in his head, just like Xurik… "So that's how you got this Apex together!" I realized aloud. "You connected with everyone! You—you convinced them just like I did!"

"Precisely." Xemnas rested his hands on the desk, looking regretful. "I'm not proud of all of my methods, but that _is_ how it came together."

It took me a few moments just to fully understand that, to feel that…_kinship_ with him. That seemed almost sacrilegious somehow. "Something's been bothering me," I said then. "The connections have been changing. At first it was stuff like, get over here because I'm Sora and we need you, but now it's…" I shook my head. "Now it's stuff I _recognize_, but I've never heard any of it before."

He nodded. "That's a standard connection. The ones with the others are superficial—they will have to deepen before they are fully established. The fact that they developed in this way means that you approached them prematurely, but you synchronized nevertheless, and now your ability should be far stronger."

My head was spinning. So this wasn't something that just ended up happening, Xemnas _planned_ this, and he and I had more in common than I realized. "Then you know a lot about this," I said finally. "And you…you know what went on in the first life." It felt almost _wrong_ to ask him about it somehow, like asking a robber for help with a security system.

Xemnas actually dropped his gaze from mine before nodding slowly. "That's true." There was an awkward silence. "Might I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure," I said immediately, happy to have something else to latch onto. That and I was pretty sure Xemnas already knew the answer to whatever it was.

His eyes were serious, and he deliberated for a moment, which made me intensely uncomfortable. Regret, guilt, uncertainty—these were _not_ emotions that I'd expected to find in him. In fact…it seemed a little odd to think of Xemnas as having emotions at all. "Have you felt any urges towards violence since you first entered Zenith?"

The question almost caught me off guard. "Um, I…" I hesitated, blinking. Violence? Like what kind of violence? "Uh. Well, towards Larxene, maybe…"

It was the wrong thing to say. Xemnas's brows immediately drew tight in concern.

"No no, I mean—we're not getting along, but…only when I had to fight her," I managed lamely. "I don't…that's a weird question," I murmured, looking to him for answers.

He didn't say anything for a moment. Then he rose, taking a step away from the desk and setting a hand on his hip. The other went to his chin as he bowed his head in thought. "We have been at odds in the past," he said distantly. "And because those connections still affect us, we are perpetually in danger of being at odds again. The notions from the past can easily crop up again and cloud one's judgment." He made an annoyed sound. "As it stands, I'm at an even greater risk than any one of you."

A finger of cold went down my spine. "Then…then you might start attacking us for no reason?" I asked hesitantly, wondering how the others would take that—if they'd side with Xemnas, even.

"The Organization is completely safe," he said, taking a seat again and watching me thoughtfully. "We were allies then, and we are allies now. You are the one who worries me." Then he hesitated. "You and…perhaps Roxas. I was almost hoping we could keep him out of this…"

I blinked. "Really? Why? I mean…" I frowned, trying to see where Roxas was a bad influence. He wasn't easy to get along with, yeah, but that didn't seem like the kind of thing that would bother Xemnas…

A pained expression crossed the Superior's face. "_Axel_," he said simply. Then he buried his face in his hands, making a small, broken sound. "Those…two," he said finally, "have _generations_ of drama behind them. Their connection is ridiculously strong—it spans almost every life since the first. I was hoping to _avoid_ all that for once…"

That surprised me. It definitely explained why Axel felt so attached to Roxas, attached enough to throw down a devotion when he barely knew the kid, but…if that was something that got repeated again and again, life to life, did that mean it played out the same way, too? And were there other things like that? "Xemnas, I want to know what happened," I said, suddenly anxious. "I mean, i-if I…if I'm someone important in all this, don't I have a right to know?"

_A Nobody doesn't have a right to know._

I couldn't explain where the thought had come from. It seemed like it had come out of the way Xemnas's lip curled just then, as though the question had brought up an old hatred. In retrospect, I think it was a rule at work—Xemnas lost control for an instant and let something through. Whatever really happened, it made him look back into my eyes. "Very well. I will summarize, but this must not leave the room."

Fifteen minutes later, it felt like my jaw was about to fall off. Xemnas didn't know everything about my involvement or Riku's or even Kairi's, but he gave a quick account of how the Organization had formed and how Roxas had left it, where I came in as far as the Keyblade was concerned, and a rendition of their inevitable defeat at my hands—_mine_! It was crazy. Nuts. Absolutely ludicrous. If I hadn't known anything about Zenith, I would have dismissed all of it as completely impossible.

"Axel," I said finally when he'd let me soak that up for a minute. "What…whatever happened to him in all that?"

"I wouldn't know. Saix never got back to me," he explained, not meeting my eyes. "I assume you wiped him out with the rest."

Maybe I only imagined it, but it seemed like there was a hint of reproach in his tone. "Xemnas, I…" I let out a helpless chuckle. "I didn't know…I mean…" How do you apologize for killing someone?

"You were justified," he said shortly. "And that is in the past. However, we may need to call upon it in the future, so perhaps it's better that you know."

Better? I felt terrible. The ghost of Axel past had been right—I killed Demyx, I _killed_ him, and not just him but the whole…but _all_ of them…and now it was fated to happen again? _No_! There was no reason for it! Maybe then, but _not now_! But what if I did it anyway? What if it just happened and I couldn't control it?

"Your connection with your past self is practically nonexistent at this point," Xemnas said firmly. "If it was strong enough, then we'd have a reason to worry. Right now, we must focus on Ansem and bringing about an end to this war."

That jolted me into realizing something. "I…I meant to tell you," I said, digging around in my pocket. "I found someone that I think you're gonna want to meet. He should remember some of the things you don't about the, um…the group Marluxia was heading," I said finally. Xemnas hadn't told me anything about where all of this had taken place, only the basics. Looking back, that was probably a good thing—it would be more than a little weird to be visiting the same town where the Organization started up, or living in the place where everything first flew apart.

In the meantime, I drew out the comlink and shook it. "Come out, come out, wherever you are."

Xurik appeared before me, looking sleepy, and started as he caught sight of Xemnas. "Sora! I thought I said—why're you—!"

"Riku?" Xemnas looked astonished. "But…then who is—?"

"No no, Riku's Riku," I told him quickly. "This is Xurik, only…not."

The confusion didn't clear from the Superior's face, and I realized he was trying to figure out where Xurik fit into the past he'd just explained to me. "I'm the replica," Xurik told him finally, defeated. "Oblivion."

The word meant nothing to me, but Xemnas nodded once, his eyes fogging over. "Replica, replica, replica…" he murmured, frowning and putting a finger to his temple in an attempt to remember. "Vexen's," he said uncertainly after a minute, his eyes returning to Xurik's. "Axel reported on it."

_Will he suffice?_

Something was happening between the two of them. They were communicating with the rules again, only now I was picking up bits and pieces. Other than that, though, none of it made any sense—something _witch_, an intense feeling of loneliness, and then something _Sora_. "Sora, leave the room," Xurik said sharply, and he sounded so much like Riku that I was almost on my feet before I thought to argue.

"Thank you, Xurik. I think that would be for the best," Xemnas agreed quietly. "We have much to discuss, whether we bring Vexen into it or not."

"Wait a minute, why're you cutting me out of the loop?" I demanded of him. "I'm up to date, I know what's—!"

"_Sora_!"

There was a determination in his eyes that almost scared me. "All right," I muttered, setting the comlink on Xemnas's desk and turning. "Keep your secrets, see if I care…" I cared. I probably cared too much, now that I was a part of this—I'd _been_ a part of this for years and years, an _integral_ part, but Xemnas was keeping me in the dark as usual. At least I had an idea of what was going on now, though.

What could they possibly talk about that was none of my concern, I wondered angrily. What could they say that I didn't already know? Was there some secret research that only Xurik knew about? Did they want to compare experiences and felt like I'd be in the way? Had the replica had an inappropriate relationship with Xemnas past? _What_?

But then I stopped short. Xemnas had mentioned Vexen…and Xurik and Vexen had had a falling out back when the Organization split up, not to mention he obviously had some sort of relationship with Larxene. Maybe they were just getting up to date, in which case I _really_ didn't belong there.

"Hey, Sora!"

I snapped up and realized Axel was approaching, his eyes bright with mischief. "Riku thinks you're a zombie! Help me out?"

It took me a minute to process that, and then I grinned. After all, I needed a distraction from whatever was happening with Xemnas and Xurik and connections and Kingdom Hearts and everything else before I turned my brain into mush. "Sure. Do me a favor? Hold still a minute," I said when he nodded. He did that, but he still flinched back a little when I put a pair of fingertips at his throat. It took me a minute to find it, but past the fur, past the skin…

I smiled with relief, feeling the steady beat of a heart.

* * *

The zombie thing made Riku come back early from the Service, but he remained unconvinced. Of course, after I remained completely dull-eyed, limp, and unresponsive even when he tickled me (Axel made it so I couldn't feel anything), he flipped out and got six kinds of worried. I felt bad afterwards for scaring him, but at the time it was just so funny. "Don't worry about it, I'm used to it," he said after Axel'd laughed his ass off and gone off to find Roxas. "He does that all the time. Of course, it's easier for him here," he added, waving a hand to indicate Zenith.

"Oh, I _know_. You should've seen me when he brought up that Zoodoomyte or whatever bullshit," I told him, rolling my eyes. "Bought it hook, line, and sucker."

He smirked. "That was the asshole thing, right?"

"Yeah."

"I have to admit, that one was pretty good. I mean, for just waking up," he added when I narrowed my eyes at him. "Axel is _not_ a morning person."

"Neither am I, which is probably why it worked," I muttered, knowing full well that it only worked because at the time I had to trust what Axel said. And he made that _difficult_ sometimes.

At dinner Zexion cooked those centipede things, which Xigbar explained were Maldovian cockroaches, and they were _amazing_ once you got past the fact that they were…you know…_bugs_. I was getting a little closer with Axel's crowd and beginning to see where the Organization split off into groups. Axel was close with Xigbar, but not as close with Demyx, and Saix divided his time between the two of them and Xemnas. The Superior was a bit of a lone wolf, but he was usually with Saix, Xaldin, Vexen, or Marluxia at any one time. Larxene and Marluxia tended to stick together in spite of things, and Demyx was generally with them whenever he wasn't with Xigbar. Xaldin and Xigbar seemed to have a tentative friendship, but Xaldin generally stuck around Xemnas most of the time. And Vexen was almost always around Zexion and Lexaeus.

I had time to observe all this because, as close as I was with Axel, the conversations were getting more and more Zenithian in nature, and it was tough for me to follow. Riku always bent his brain to the challenge, but I often just found it too exhausting to make it worthwhile. The way Zenith worked, a confusing monologue that took almost ten minutes to think through might end up meaning, "Yeah, I think so, too."

Things got interesting once dinner broke up and the others went back down to practice. The Service was closed, which meant Riku was sort of stranded and I had nothing better to do, so we just followed them downstairs. "Are you sure it's all right with them?" I asked in a low voice, not wanting to piss off Saix or someone.

"It's fine. I came down here a couple times before when Roxas and I got off duty," he assured me. "It's interesting to watch, but so far I don't get anything that's going on. Advanced stuff."

"Nothing new, then," I muttered glumly.

But this practice session turned out to be a lot more coherent. "Board is set," Xemnas said as they sat down around a circular table, and I watched in astonishment as thirteen black-cloaked figures appeared on the wood. The table was scarred over with carvings of several different shapes—almost like a chess board, but instead of just squares it had circles and triangles and diamonds. Each figure was standing on a circle, wherever it was, and each figure seemed to be getting his bearings and glaring behind him at his Zenithian counterpart.

"How do we play?" Larxene wanted to know.

"Boys against girls?" Xigbar suggested, leering at her.

"_Cheat_."

"Even against odd," Xemnas said.

"No fair! Odd's got extra!" Axel argued.

"I'll moderate," Lexaeus volunteered.

Demyx let out an annoyed sound. "Vexen and Zexion are both even and he'll make sure they win," he pointed out.

With a deep sigh, Xemnas rolled his eyes and ran a hand down his face. "Teams," he said finally. "Whoever gets picked last is moderator."

Vexen threw up his hands and crossed his arms to sulk.

"Xemnas and I're captains," Xigbar threw down, and a pair of stars appeared above both their figures' heads. "I pick first. Demyx."

"Axel," Xemnas fired back immediately.

"You _knew_ he was gonna do that," the Phoenix accused Xigbar, and I could've sworn Xemnas's lips twitched in a smirk.

The Cyborg shrugged. "You or Demyx, man." His eyes gleamed. "Roxas."

"_Fuck you_."

"Saix."

It pretty much continued like that, and alternating blue and orange spheres appeared above the heads of the claimed teammates. By the time it was over, Xemnas's team consisted of Axel, Saix, Xaldin, Marluxia, and Vexen, and Xigbar refused Larxene in order to take Demyx, Roxas, Zexion, Lexaeus, and Luxord. The Siren rolled her eyes and plucked her miniature self off the board.

"Bad decision," Demyx murmured to Xigbar warily.

"What are they playing, exactly?" I asked Riku from where we were sitting on a couch a little removed from the table.

"I have no idea. I'm gonna go with Clue," he added as Xemnas started dealing out cards.

I was deeply confused. Aside from the fact that their player pieces seemed to be alive and there were flickering stars and things, this whole thing smacked of _logic_. The way they picked teammates made sense, the way the teams matched up made sense, _everything_ was in order.

"Captains retreat," Xemnas ordered, and the two figures proceeded to opposite sides of the table. The others moved to protect their respective leaders, stepping diagonally along the circles. Now it was starting to feel like chess.

"What has this got to do with the Exchange?" I asked Riku irritably.

"Dude, you're asking the wrong guy."

I glanced over at Axel, but he looked absorbed in the game already. "Blue goes first," Xemnas said, nodding at Xigbar, and the Cyborg considered the board.

"Eight."

"Son of a bitch," Axel muttered, shaking his head. His figure seemed to agree.

"Approach from the northwest," Demyx ordered, and I watched as his small robed figure headed along the circles to Axel's. He drew out a card from his hand and placed it on the board face up. "Dog attacks. Minus three points."

Axel drew in response. "Horse defends. Plus two."

"Lucky," Xigbar muttered under his breath.

"You don't know _how_ lucky," Axel promised, grinning at his cards.

The game grew more intricate as it progressed, but I could follow what was going on to a degree. I later found out that everyone started with ten points and kept three cards throughout gameplay, except for the captains, who had one. They had the regular attacks, where somebody drew a card and had some animal attack, and their victim responded. How well the attack and defense went depended on what animal it was—oxen were particularly good at defense but not at attacking, and dragons were an excellent attack but had nothing when it came to defense. There was also a stack of cards in the center that they drew on when their characters stepped on one of the circles nearby, and these would allow walking on air, water, or fire, opening up the square, diamond, and triangular paths.

At the start of each round, one of the captains would voice somebody to concentrate on and their five fighters would try to eliminate him. Axel proved very good at staying alive, so Xigbar was quick to shift his focus to Vexen instead. Xemnas, in the meantime, was working to weaken Xigbar's fighters in pairs, focusing mostly on Demyx and Luxord from round to round. Larxene as moderator didn't seem to have much to do, but it was clear she was keeping score. At one point, after Xaldin lost two points to a horse and didn't have enough defense to cover it, she drew a hand across her throat. The orange sphere above his head blinked out and the figure collapsed and faded away into black smoke.

The sight sent a jolt through me and I looked away sharply, stunned. _That had looked just like…!_

"Sora? You okay?"

I glanced back at Riku, taking in a slightly ragged breath. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," I said quickly, dropping my eyes from his and trying to focus on the game again.

"Approach from the east," Axel was saying, and his figure walked up to Roxas's. As the blond frowned at him in confusion, the Phoenix smirked. "Sorry, buddy." He smacked down a card triumphantly. "Cat attacks. Utter pwnage."

Roxas's jaw dropped as his figure faded away, and I knew why—he'd been careful, attacking, darting away, and defending in such a way that he hadn't lost so much as a point yet. "You're gonna _pay_ for that," he snarled at Axel.

"I don't think so. I've still got seven points left," the redhead told him, and his figure stuck his thumbs in his ears and waggled his fingers mockingly.

"Six," Larxene said sharply.

"Cheating. It's seven. I defended with a rat and got two back, not one."

"He _did_," Vexen added when Larxene frowned. She muttered a curse and erased something on her record.

In the meantime, Luxord's figure approached Vexen's. "Dragon attacks," the Leprechaun informed him. "Minus five."

"Ox defends," Vexen replied smugly. "Plus four."

"_Shit_!" Luxord hissed, having obviously been saving that card up for a while. A minute later Vexen attacked him back and took him out.

Even though Xigbar's team had drawn first blood, Xemnas's tactic of concentrating on two instead of one—in addition to Axel's good luck—was paying off. Demyx went down not long after Luxord, crippling the blue team significantly. Now it was just Zexion and Lexaeus up against Axel, Marluxia, Saix, and Vexen, and Xemnas's team had them cornered.

"Dragon attacks," Zexion said to Axel. "Minus five."

Axel glanced at his cards and grimaced. "Rooster defends. Plus one."

Marluxia's figure approached Lexaeus's. "Tiger attacks. Minus four."

"Cat defends," Lexaeus rumbled without a hint of gloating. "Plus ten." Then his figure moved to attack Axel's. He turned out to have a monkey on hand that time, which took two points, and Axel ran a nervous hand through his hair.

"No defense," he said finally, which told me all his cards were good attack cards that he couldn't afford to waste on defense. Even so, he only had one point left. By the time his turn rolled around again, his figure was looking nervous. "Approach from the south," Axel ordered.

"I'm gonna get killed," his figure informed him warily.

"_Do it_," Axel snarled, and slammed Lexaeus with another dragon. The Golem only got a point back for it. Dragons seemed to be one of the most powerful after cats, as almost no other card took over four points.

"Boar attacks," Zexion said impassively. "Minus three. You're dead, Axel."

"Figures," Axel muttered, dropping his cards and leaning back to watch the game progress.

Xemnas pretty much wrapped it up after that, directing the others to take out Zexion and then Lexaeus, and they managed to lose Vexen before it was over, but eliminating Xigbar was child's play compared to the fierce combat earlier. The captain was only allowed one card, and if that didn't take out the opposition, he was dead.

"Good," Xemnas said once it was over, looking pensive. "We have our usual methods and we haven't lost those—and Roxas is adjusting well. His performance was exemplary to the last," he added sharply. "One would do well to mimic his technique."

Axel grunted. "You're talking to me, aren't you?"

Xemnas's eyes flashed briefly, and Axel jerked away a little, as though frightened to meet his gaze. "We do not rush in to attack when we should be retreating and defending," the Superior informed him tightly. "It's only a game here. Down there, it won't be. You won't get a second chance at this."

The Phoenix rolled his eyes. "I _know_, Xemnas, I've been through this before. I can take care of myself."

"The number one rule when it comes to the Exchange is, _be careful_," the Lynx told him firmly. "You were not careful. That," he added, pointing at the figure of Xigbar that was still fading away, "could be you. That _will_ be you if you don't watch yourself out there. Do I make myself clear?" he asked, quiet and dangerous.

Axel had opened his mouth to argue, but at that question his teeth clicked shut and he looked down. "Crystal," he muttered.

For an instant Xemnas's eyes softened and I saw something in them…_worry_, almost, but then he snapped back into commanding Superior mode and cleared the board of Saix and Marluxia's figures. "Tomorrow we work on Zones Three and Five. We'll engage a dummy team for Four at a later date. Dismissed."

The others got up and the room buzzed with conversation as they all broke back up into groups and filtered out towards the thirteen shifting rooms. So that game, I thought anxiously, had been more than just that…which sort of explained why nobody seemed to be having fun, even when they were winning. That had been something serious and ultimately life-threatening. Riku and I followed the Organization at a distance, surprised into silence and feeling very much like outsiders.

* * *

Author's Note: SO. I'm trying to finish chapter twenty-seven as we speak (I actually can't afford to finish it right this minute because this computer is dying and I don't want to lose anything); some of it's turned out awesome when I was sure it was gonna suck, and basically it's fun right now, it's just a matter of actually finding time to work on it. Anyway, that means I'm cheating again but I swore on Chlaxas's grave I'd get a chapter up before I go back up to college, so I am.

Now what I probably need to do is sit down and work out a table for the game here (Re: Chain of Memories, guys, you knew the cards were coming), so the values may change a bit over time, but it probably won't be that noticeable and I'll be coming back and changing it here too (so if you come to me going BOAR'S A THREE BOAR'S A THREE I'm just gonna go WELP).

Would you believe I JUST realized I ripped off Harry Potter? DAMMIT.

On another note, Sora is now _basically_ up to speed, and I didn't wanna do that but it turns out that'll be important down the line. Plus I'm sure the memory is engraved in his heart if anything goes wrong. :D


	24. Waltz of the Damned

I'm not sure what the nightmare was, to tell the truth. And I'd accumulated so many of them at this point that it could have been anything; a nasty one from back when the blue worms took hold, getting nailed to Larxene's house, Chlaxas getting killed, Dlax trying to have his way—it could even have been that demon thing from long ago. Whatever it was, it woke me up.

And I wasn't alone.

I don't know if I was tired or scared or what, but I didn't move when I realized there were arms around me—I didn't flail or thrash or scream, just laid there. It was unusual but not alarming somehow, like this had happened before…like it was supposed to be this way. "Riku?" I garbled out thickly. It was him. I didn't have to look to know it was him.

"Close," he whispered in my ear. I put one hand on his wrist, like I was going to move his arm from around me, but I didn't.

"What're you doing?"

He pulled me a little closer, and _that_ worried me—that made me wake up a little, and I stiffened. "You were having a nightmare," he said simply. "I couldn't leave you like that."

"Yeah, I think you could," I told him bluntly, but then the memory of the nightmare…not so much the nightmare itself, but the _fear_, washed back over me. Suddenly everything lurking in the dark was an enemy, and I turned around into his embrace, locking my arms around him and pulling close. He smelled different but familiar, Riku but not quite Riku, and I was confused. But maybe it was just because Riku wasn't there right then—maybe if it'd been Riku instead of Xurik, I would have been just as willing to cling to him and wish the darkness away.

I couldn't shake the feeling that I was lying to myself.

* * *

Riku was at the Service when I woke up, primarily because I slept in and missed breakfast, and once I'd gotten something in me I trumped downstairs to see what the Organization was up to. Xemnas had said they'd be working on Zones Three and Five, and I was hoping those would make some sense to me like Four had.

But if they'd been practicing, it must have fallen apart at some point. Xemnas, Saix, and Xaldin had disappeared somewhere, Roxas and Demyx were still asleep, and the rest of them seemed to be doing their own thing instead of cooperating with the other members. I found Axel in a separate room with one of those driving arcade games. "What kept Roxas up?" I asked him, approaching casually. I was a little worried the thing with Xurik last night might have affected my other somehow, if he was sleeping in now.

"Me," he replied bluntly, yanking the wheel sharply to one side to swerve around a pole. "We did some shit," he said almost in a singsong voice as the car toppled over and reappeared atop a building with several geese surrounding it. "Felt nice. Didn't go _too_ far, though," he added, smirking at me suggestively.

"Then you…ah. Oh," I mumbled, flushing and trying really hard to keep that image out of my head. Failing that, I bit my lip to keep from smirking as I thought of something. "Did it, um…" He glanced at me, eyebrows raised. "Did it taste like tacos?"

I broke off into snickers and ducked away as he reached out to smack me in the head. "Speaking of that," I said then, "what's with telling Riku I'm into bananas? I don't even _like_ bananas," I added shortly.

He grinned. "That got back to you, then, huh? Figured he'd bring it up. But bananas are out of season," he explained, wrenching the steering wheel and cursing sharply. "Get _off_ my _ass_, you stinking…um. Yeah, no. It's totally impossible to get bananas in pear right now. So you're safe from the evil buttsexxors."

"I know. I told him to keep the things away from me," I said bluntly.

"Knew you would. I wish I could've seen the look on your face, though."

We both looked up sharply at a sound from the doorway and Roxas came barreling into the room, throwing himself into Axel's arms before the Phoenix could even get up from the game. "Roxa…?" the redhead mumbled, looking astonished. Then his expression changed and his arms wound tight around the Sylph, brows drawing inward. "You're shaking…! What happened? Who—?"

"No, no, i-it's nothing," Roxas protested, relaxing just enough to lift his head from Axel's shoulder. There were _tears_ in his voice, and I felt something twist painfully in my heart when I heard them. "I don't…I just…" I saw him spasm with what was unmistakably a sob, and he drew tighter, hands fisting in Axel's jacket as the Phoenix put a hand on the back of the blond's head. Axel looked heartbroken.

"Roxas, what's this about?" I asked him gingerly, well aware that I wasn't supposed to be here—I wasn't supposed to see him like this. But he was my other, like it or not, and right now he was scaring Axel and me both.

The Sylph sniffed a little, seeming to calm down just a bit, but Axel didn't relax. "If I disappeared," he whispered finally, "would you look for me?"

There was a horror in Axel's eyes that I had never seen before.

"Where are you going?" he demanded fiercely, tearing Roxas from around him and holding the boy by his shoulders. Roxas started to stammer out a denial. "No—_where_ _are you going_?" the Phoenix pressed, his eyes blazing now.

For a moment the Sylph said nothing. "Nowhere, Axel, I—!"

"Then what's the matter?"

Roxas shook with suppressed tears. "I j-just…I…I wanted to know," he whispered, his voice breaking.

Axel studied him for a moment, his eyes still hard, and then pulled his crying lover back into his embrace with a tense sigh. "How can you…how can you even wonder that? Of course I'd look for you! Roxas, I—I wouldn't stop until I _found_ you, you know that…" He blinked several times, resting his chin atop Roxas's blond strands. "What kind of a…kind of a stupid question is that?" he asked, on the verge of tears.

I was already headed for the door, ducking out of the room to give them some privacy—and also to collect my thoughts. This _had_ to be connected with what happened in the first life. That was the root of all of it—Axel's overprotective habits, Roxas's doubts, their relationship in the first place—but Roxas left the Organization because he wanted to. Because of _me_, I remembered with another pang of guilt. Xemnas hadn't been too specific about what exactly our relationship was, but it had definitely been my fault. But if he left because he _wanted_ to, where did this "disappear" stuff come in?

And none of it would have happened if it wasn't for me, I remembered with a jolt, sinking down onto a nearby loveseat. If I hadn't been involved, it all would've been fine, right? It felt like I was betraying something inside myself to even think that, but honestly—me fighting against Xemnas? Against _Axel_? That didn't sound like me at all. Shoot first, questions later—that was Riku's philosophy, not mine. Let's see…they'd been after hearts, Xemnas hadn't completely explained why that was _bad_, but I obviously found something wrong with it and shut everything down. What would have happened if I hadn't? Would they have felt guilt, for whatever reason? Regret? Or would it only have made them more powerful and that much harder to defeat?

"Hey," I said quietly. I waited a minute, like I was getting used to the sound of my own voice in the silence. "I know you're in there. I want to know why you did it. Why did they deserve to die? What was Xemnas doing?" _Or did they deserve it at all? Why the hell would I do that?_

"The Superior is upstairs coaxing Demyx out of bed," came a voice to my left. I turned sharply, realizing Vexen was just approaching from another room. He was shuffling through some papers, the way people in Zenith seemed to always be looking through papers of some sort, and had most likely heard me wrong. "We're supposed to be working over the last Zone today. It'll be Roxas's first time. I hope Axel's up to the challenge," he added with a faint smirk. "Do you mind terribly?" he asked, gesturing to the space beside me.

"I. Uh. No," I stammered, a little surprised he was asking. It wasn't like I owned the place.

"Thank you." He sat gracefully and reclined a bit, resting an ankle on his knee and putting a finger to his temple as he frowned at the pages. "As it happens, you and Riku may be of assistance as far as these last few Zones are concerned. Coming from a place where order is the social norm, that is."

"The last ones are order?" I asked, more to realize it than to confirm it. That would sort of explain why the board game made so much sense. "Then what's Zone Five? It's gotta be the worst."

"Take a look." Vexen handed me one of the pages, and I was surprised to find that it had instructions on how to dance the waltz. They were laid out in a way that made perfect sense to me, but Vexen or someone had circled things and scribbled notes like "omitting steps 7-8" and "going backwards??"

"Uh. I could…maybe help," I mumbled, coloring a little. Riku never had let me live last year's theater class down. Then I glanced at Vexen, not entirely comfortable being that close to him. But, I rationalized quickly, I had to _get_ comfortable with him, and soon. If I knew the Organization well, I was that much less likely to go postal on them for one reason or another. That just wasn't the way I worked. "So…how are things? Xigbar been bothering you?" I added quickly, trying to make sure the conversation actually went somewhere.

Vexen rolled his eyes. "It's been…the usual. The neophytes causing trouble as always," he added darkly, and I felt a flash of cold. Neophytes…that was _not_ a word Vexen would use. Not the Vexen of now…

We were connecting, I realized with a sinking heart. We were connecting here and now—the closer I got to Vexen, the closer the me of then got to Vexen past. And if things somehow erupted…

"But," he said airily, "it's refreshing. The people here are…" He hesitated, eyes rolling upwards as if to look for a word back in his brain somewhere. "Real."

"What do you mean?"

He scoffed. "The ones back at the office are all for show. Not an independent individual in the lot. Here…" The Jotun shrugged, waving a dismissive hand. "They may not be the best and the brightest, but they're _genuine_. They don't dissemble and worm their way into your good graces for their own personal gain," he added disgustedly, his lip curling.

I didn't really have a frame of reference, but I _did_ remember the Barbie doll girls back at school that annoyed Kairi and made Riku want to get violent. Compared to those plastic manipulators, people like Axel and Xigbar were a day at the beach.

Vexen, who'd clearly been lost in the past, snapped to attention as Axel left the room. Roxas was at his side like a Siamese twin, his arm wrapped firmly around the Phoenix's waist, and Axel was murmuring something I couldn't hear as they headed into one of the practice rooms.

"Did something happen?" the Jotun asked, looking surprised.

"I really don't know. I think Roxas had a nightmare or something," I said truthfully. Then I remembered with a jolt that Vexen was basically Axel's _ex_, and I glanced at him, checking for signs of jealousy or resentment. But he only seemed surprised, nothing more and nothing less.

"Yes, we were, but I was hoping Axel would have explained how it works," Vexen said testily, and I realized he'd just figured out what I was thinking through some rule or other. I _really_ hated this idea of walking around without knowing who could peek into my head. "That was then, and this is now," he added, and he meant it.

"Sorry," I mumbled, coloring, and felt furious that I had to apologize for my own thoughts.

"I'm used to it," he said simply.

"So…do you have a family around?" I asked awkwardly. I was still concerned that he'd do something to Roxas out of jealousy. So sue me—Riku's had some pretty scary exes.

"No time," he said simply, shaking his head. "Too passionate about other things. But there was Lexaeus, back in the day, and then Zexion fell through as expected—Marluxia for a little while, but then everyone got around to hating each other…" Suddenly pain appeared in his eyes. "But there was Xurik."

I stared at him in horror.

He didn't seem to notice, fiddling idly with a page while those green eyes sifted through the sands of time. "The son I never had."

Those words probably weren't supposed to reach my ears, but it seemed like Vexen had forgotten I was there anyway. I was suddenly much more aware of the comlink in my pocket, but pulling it out and calling Xurik would have been a mistake. Xemnas confirmed that the Xurik he met was by no means the same boy who had joined Nada Apex and worked side by side with Riku. That boy had been cocky and spirited, with a love for both adventure and science and had a deeply understanding side in addition to a generous helping of attitude. This one was pale and drawn, lost and confused. "He shifts," Xemnas had said uncertainly, looking like he wanted to explain further, but _Xemnas_ of all people couldn't seem to find the words.

"Vexen, get _in here_," came Xigbar's voice sharply, and we both jerked to attention. "We can't find the stupid Laple shirt and the Mainstream guy's only got a Saber hat and some Wing shoes."

The Jotun got up with an irritated sigh and stalked back over to the room where Xigbar and most of the others were at a variety of computer stations. "Did you check Luana?" he called. "They usually carry Laples, but they'll cost us our Centaur mask if we're not careful."

"Luana's closed until two," Zexion told him irritably, and then the door closed behind him and I couldn't hear them anymore. Which was probably good, because that meant Zone Three was just as jumbled and confusing as everything Zenith, and I was really getting sick of Zenith.

But that still left me with nothing to do, and since Riku would still be at the Service all day, I figured I'd poke around Axel and Roxas some more. Assuming Roxas was all right, I thought hesitantly, and lingered outside the door for a few moments.

"…two three _one_ two—_OW_!"

"Sorry! Sorry—you all right?"

"Yeah…"

The door was partway open so I just cracked it and slipped inside, surprised to discover that there was a whole ballroom in here. There was some music playing faintly in the background, Mozart or something, and Axel was straightening from where he'd been rubbing his foot. "Okay. Ready?" he asked, putting a hand on Roxas's shoulder.

"No," the Sylph muttered, but he put both hands on the Phoenix's waist anyway.

"Ah ah—left hand up here."

"Oh. Yeah."

"And…_one_ two three _one_…"

I started to snicker at first, watching the two of them swirl about the floor like that, but they actually suited each other pretty well. They were well on their way to getting a rhythm going until Axel cut it short, shaking his head. "Rox, you have to push me a little. You're the one guiding _me_, not the other way around."

"I can't get over there fast enough!" Roxas protested.

"Well…_try_."

"Fine," Roxas muttered, sounding frustrated. "Start over? _One_ two tw—three—"

"_One_ two three," Axel corrected firmly.

Roxas pushed away from him. "This doesn't make any sense! It's supposed to be one _two_ one two _five_ three—!"

"Yeah, but it isn't," Axel told him wearily. "And you sound like Sora. Speak of the devil," he said then, noticing me. "You come to join in or are you just going to watch?" he asked airily.

I glared at him. "Thanks but no thanks. And I could do without the innuendo."

"It'll enrich your life if you let it," he said simply. "Roxas, we're trying again. I lead, you follow," he ordered, placing a hand at the Sylph's waist.

Roxas's eyes narrowed. "Since when?"

"Since you can't get over there fast enough," Axel told him bluntly. "Or count. C'mon," he said sharply when Roxas opened his mouth to argue. The blond fell silent and took up his position, waiting for Axel to start the count. "Ready?"

"_Go_."

"_One_—OW, Roxas!"

"I thought you said I step forward first!"

"That's if you're _leading_!"

"I don't _understand this_!" Roxas exploded, wrenching away from Axel and throwing up his hands. The Phoenix sighed heavily, putting his hands on his hips and frowning down at his feet in frustration.

I grimaced. _I'm gonna live to regret this._ "Maybe I could…uh. Help."

Axel looked up brightly. "You know the waltz?"

"Um." I gritted my teeth. "…Yes."

He gave me a look like I was the answer to his prayers. "C'mere."

I headed over to them like a robot, not really absorbing Axel's instructions or concentrating on what I said in response—the thought that _I am about to dance the waltz with myself_ had taken over my head. Roxas was nothing like me, especially up close, but somehow it still felt odd to put a hand on his waist and not encounter a mirror in between. He was also the perfect height to glare directly into my eyes and communicate through hatred just how angry he was with me for speaking up in the first place.

All too soon, Axel stepped back and turned up the music. "Ready? Wait for the beat…_one_ two three _one_ two three…"

Forward, left, together—back, right, together. Orderly and sensible and exactly the same, over and over again. Maybe that was why Roxas was having so much trouble; the steps repeated without variation, and _everything _seemed to vary in Zenith.

I concentrated on our feet, careful not to step on Roxas's, and murmured instructions to him as we went. "Back, right—_your_ right—together now—good." He was a little shaky getting started, and he kept trying to change the first two steps, but he was spot on when it came to the last two. I realized it was because they _backtracked_ from the first two, the same way Zenith always goes back the way it comes, and that just made me grin like a skull. Something _made sense_.

"…right, together, forward, left, together—you got it!" I told him, finally looking up at his face. He was still watching our feet, biting his lip and looking anxious. "All right, let's start moving—I'll rotate us a little, just come with me…"

It was really, really different with Roxas—not only because it really did feel like I was dancing with my clone, but because he wasn't a girl. I'd only danced with girls before, so I wasn't used to the strength in his grasp or the narrow hip under my hand.

"All right," he said finally, looking up and meeting my eyes. There was a kind of trust in them that I'd only seen when he looked at Axel before. "It doesn't change. I just have to remember that it doesn't change." He cocked his head a little and smiled faintly. "Which is good, because I don't like change anyway."

It took a lot of concentration not to stop and stare at him. "Roxas, are you feeling okay?" I asked. I just wasn't used to the idea of him being _nice_—not that he was horrible and terrible to me, but he'd never just relaxed like this around me, and it was especially strange when he was doing it in my arms.

"You're completely ruining the moment," he snapped, and I stopped worrying.

"Well, I should probably give you back to Axel now…" I glanced around for him, careful not to break the rhythm. If he could just cut in and we didn't lose the beat, that would be some excellent practice for Roxas.

Roxas's steps got a little haphazard for a minute and I realized he was looking, too. Suddenly he let out a snarl that made my eyes snap back to him in case he was going to tear me to shreds. "He's _gone_," he muttered, glaring around the room. "He ran off the moment he had the chance."

"Oh, well," I said, sighing, and stopped.

That is, I would have stopped.

Only I didn't.

I frowned down at my feet and willed them to stop, but they didn't seem to _want_ to. All I could do was jerk them around a little, but they kept right on going, methodically moving us and turning us, moving us and turning us. I looked back up to Roxas and was surprised to see my own horror in his eyes. "We can't stop?"

"We can't stop," he said, glancing over at the door, and suddenly I knew it was shut.

"Should we call for help?"

"The others are all working Zone Three, they won't hear us." Roxas frowned. "I don't know how I know that…"

"I knew it," I realized foggily. _Are our minds melding?_

_I don't know, is that possible?_

I stared at Roxas, and he stared right back. "Did I just—?"

"Did you think—?"

"Oh my god—!" _How do we get this to stop?_

_Maybe when the song ends…_

_Oh good—I know this one, it's almost over._

_Thank god._

The whole exchange happened in lightning fast thoughts, almost _as we were talking_, before either of us could even try to stop it or control it. It wasn't the only split second conversation we had, either—but it was too confusing to sort much out. We were both lost in a torrent of combined thoughts and doubts and discoveries that jumbled together and stopped making sense. There was a flash of a thought about Riku there, maybe mine, a long line of curses that was definitely Roxas, and a spark of Axel that could have been either of us, and then a sudden memory of a horrifying dream flooded my mind. For an instant I was terrified of disappearing.

I glanced—I mean, Roxas glanced back at the stereo in a panic. _The song stopped, but we're not!_

_What're the rules on this?_ Sora—no, _I_—sifted back through my head for them. There were a lot more there than I remembered, and suddenly they all made sense. Everything interlocked in a web of rules, but at the same time everything swirled and changed like the wind.

It was getting worse—I'd completely lost track of who I was, and sometimes I felt like I was shifting between one and the other. Suddenly Sora recalled the excruciating loneliness of the underside, and suddenly Roxas loved riaztche and hated Larxene with equal passion—suddenly Roxas knew what it tasted like to trail sloppy kisses down Riku's collarbone, and Sora could remember the way Axel's eyes had rolled up in his head when he'd whispered Roxas's name.

At first I was absolutely certain I was Sora, but then I was pretty sure I was Roxas—and then I wasn't really sure if I was _either_, but it was starting to seem like maybe I was _both_—

"May I cut in?"

_NO!_ I would have screamed if I could've managed it, because I was getting torn _apart_—something or someone was splitting me right down the middle and getting in between, and words can't describe just how _excruciating_—

Oh. Wait. What?

I shook my head to clear it as Roxas headed back behind me to sit down, but I was still moving, who was I… "Riku?" I managed after a minute, squinting up at him. Suddenly I had a splitting headache and every light in the room was out to stab my eyes.

"Yeah. You guys were looking a little funny, so I figured I'd take you off his hands."

It took me a minute to absorb that—there was suddenly a lot of new material in my head, things that didn't feel like they _belonged_, but they were slowly filtering away. "Yeah, we…we couldn't stop dancing," I said finally. Then I realized I was dancing with _Riku_, of all people, and I still wasn't stopping. That thought filled me with this horrifying feeling like something absolutely monstrous was about to happen—

"We'll be done as soon as the song's over. Zenith, you know."

Riku was watching the door, and somehow I was intensely relieved that I didn't know if it was open or shut. But my brain is only capable of dealing with these things one at a time. So the minute I got done realizing that Riku and Roxas had definitely and without a doubt switched places on me, it was time to focus on the fact that Riku's hand was on my waist and mine was on his shoulder and we were _dancing_.

Riku was bigger than me and felt even less like a girl, and the fact that he'd taken over the lead didn't help much, either. It was a different, vulnerable feeling to have him supporting and guiding me, knowing he could make a mistake or trip me up but trusting him not to. Even so, there was a little flutter of almost-panic in my chest whenever we rotated.

The song ended and we broke apart like we'd both just decided the other one was poisonous. "I didn't know you could waltz," I informed Riku.  
He shrugged. "I took some lessons freshman year. Xurik wanted to brush up on how it was done." He grinned suddenly. "And I had no clue what it was for, come to think of it. Thought it was kinda weird at the time."

"And you picked on me for _ages_ after that theater class!"

I said it in part because I could see his eyes softening with emotion, and I didn't want him to start focusing on Xurik right now. I didn't think I could bear standing there and watching him cry, knowing all the while that the friend he wanted back so desperately was right there in my pocket.

It worked. "Of course I did," he said, scoffing. "When have I ever passed up a chance to screw with your head?"

He had no idea just how true those words rang when he reached up to ruffle my hair and I caught myself wanting to _lean into_ the sensation. I hate my hair and it's completely his fault—him and people like Axel, who ruffle it and mess it up all the time, so it made absolutely no sense that I'd want to help him mess it up even more. Maybe it was because it felt gentler somehow; he hadn't done it in a while and he might've started to lose his touch.

I don't know. Anyway, it must've put a weird expression on my face, because he gave me a funny look when he drew back. "You okay?"

"Mm? Oh—yeah, I—just, you know, that was weird."

"The dancing?"

"Yeah."

He shrugged. "Axel says it does stuff like that sometimes, if you're coordinated right."

I rolled my eyes. "So he planned this _out_."

"What're you pinning on me now?" came the perpetrator's voice as he came back into the room, a lollipop dangling from between his lips. Somehow that brought up an image that just plain should _not_ have been in my head—but before I could sort it out, Roxas was stalking over to us.

"Any _particular_ reason why you abandoned us to the likes of _that_?" Roxas wanted to know, nodding back at the stereo.

"I didn't abandon you," he said simply, smirking. "I told you I was just gonna be a minute, but you two must've been too absorbed in each other to hear me." Then his expression changed when he glanced over at me. "Why? Did something happen?"

I was still squinting a little, and my head was really starting to bother me. I dimly heard Riku say, "They just got too synchronized and Zenith took over," and then I took a wavering step back, bumping against him. "Hey, you all right?"

Making a little pained sound, I shook my head—okay no, ow, that hurt. "I-I've got this _headache_ all of a sudden…" I mumbled, grateful and annoyed all at once when he reached up to stop me from falling.

"You wanna take something?"

I blinked at him, rubbing my temples. "Is there something to take?"

"Healing agents might do it."

" 'Kay." The pain was intensifying, and I would have accepted just about anything. Riku headed off to get them while I found my way to a chair—Roxas and Axel seemed to be talking about something in low voices off to my right, but I didn't care enough to listen. _What_ was up with my head? I couldn't really remember anything besides panicking when we couldn't stop moving, but there was this weird foggy space where everything seemed to run together.

I think Roxas said they had to go see Xemnas about something, and the minute they were out of the room I felt a warmth next to my hip and Xurik was there. "Are you all right?" he wanted to know, seizing my face in his hands and brushing my hair out of my eyes.

That was a weird sensation—especially when he looked so much like Riku—and for some completely stupid and unrelated reason I felt myself blush. "Hey—what—!"

"Don't do this with the—no. Answer me," he said firmly, tightening his grip to keep me from pulling away. Suddenly he was intense and determined, so different from the boy who'd talked to me back at the hotel.

"I'm fine, Xurik," I grumbled, frowning at the shadowy thumb I could see out of the corner of my eye. "Let go of my face."

"Something weird happened back there," he pressed. "I don't know how to describe it, but something was happening to you."

"I'm _okay_, Riku's gonna come back in a minute—" Oh, wow, we were close—I wasn't sure how I hadn't realized how close we were until right then. I could actually feel his breath on my skin, but he steadied me every time I tried to pull away, like he could see it coming before I did. _Probably pulling the rule of logic on me, bast_—

Everything stopped, the world turned inside out, and my brain exploded.

Xurik was _kissing me_.

And the freaky part was, everything about him kissed like Riku, only there was something about it that made it brain-splatteringly amazing—like there was something more _real_ about it. This was a serious kiss and he wasn't playing around, he wasn't experimenting.

First I was mortified because it was _Xurik_, which besides the fact that he was a guy probably worked out to necrophilia somehow, and then I was absolutely horrified to discover that every detail about that night fooling around with Riku had somehow gotten burned into my brain like a brand. I was actually _comparing_ the two, which…god, if I was confused before, now I was just plain lost.

Suddenly I had too many tongues in my mouth—but just as suddenly, I felt him vanishing back to the comlink, and that was an indescribably weird sensation. I just waited for the world to slow down and tried to keep my heart from stopping entirely. I wasn't sure how I felt about the whole thing—violated, yes, absolutely—but there was also a traitorous kind of excitement that made me really angry at myself for being so hormonal—

"Here you go, hold still…"

And then Xurik—no, Riku—Riku, right, yes—was in front of me again, this time tilting my head up to put the healing agents through. I jerked away from him with a little grunt, and tried to ignore the confused look he shot me. "I'll do it, I'll—gimme 'em." He handed them over a little reluctantly and I sent them through, sighing with relief once the pain abated. Now all that was left in my head was the memory of that smoking hot kiss.

Did I just describe that as "smoking hot?"

What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Hey, I actually need to go see Zexion about something, you wanna come?" Riku asked then as I stood up. "You don't know him too well yet, right? He's pretty cool, once you get past the sarcasm."

I thought immediately of Vexen and the failure there, but at the moment all I could do was get close to the Organization and hope for the best. "Sure, I'll come," I said with a shrug. _Assuming things don't get any weirder,_ I thought about adding, but in Zenith, weird was a prerequisite.

So I made small talk and followed Riku to the elevator—apparently there were black balloons instead of pink ones on the way down, and they did a lot of popping—and came out into a place I sort of recognized. Down the hall was the same library we always had to come through from between, but Zexion wasn't manning his post. We found him in a darker room instead, and Lexaeus was in a corner…that is, as much "in a corner" as Lexaeus gets.

"Hey," Riku said to Zexion and promptly launched into a dissertation on why the rosebuds had turned purple this year. He added in some things that were definitely supposed to explain it to me, and I got a sense that it had to do with the Dryad thing, but we both eventually gave up and I went to sit at the table while they finished discussing flowers. Seemed more like Marluxia's kind of thing, I thought glumly.

Left without anything better to do, I glanced over to see Lexaeus fiddling with something. "Whatcha doing?" I asked lightly, craning my neck a little to see.

"Working a puzzle," he replied in that gravelly but quiet voice.

"What kind?"

"Hard kind."

Laconic, then.

Giving up on him, too, I rested my chin in my hands and looked foggily at the wall. Lately there just wasn't anything to do, and while I was determined to go home with Riku or not at all, I'm not good with boredom.

But just as I was considering maybe kidnapping Riku and going out somewhere to show him the wonders of riatzche, I heard a faint tinkle from where Lexaeus was sitting. I looked up in surprise to see him setting a tiny doll on the table with more delicacy and care than a person half his size. Or no—it was a _fairy_, almost, and she danced out of his hands, brown-gold hair curled around her face. I could actually see it bouncing against her skin as she did—exquisite, graceful movements that came so fast and so strongly that I was worried she'd hurt herself. She came to a stop in front of me, green eyes shining, and fell to pieces.

I looked up in surprise as Lexaeus carefully swept them into his enormous hand and, without a word, went right back to putting them together again.

It was a moment before I could talk. "How did you do that?" I asked finally.

"Serendipity."

…

"Oh."

Now that I thought of it, he did seem very serene while he worked—and while I didn't see how that had anything to do with what he was doing, it was Zenith. "How long does it take?"

"Hours. Sometimes more. Depends."

His hands tilted just enough that I could see the two pieces he was working with, but these didn't look like the fairy girl at all. "It changed?" I said, feeling that I didn't have to go on.

"Yes."

There was a long silence while I watched him work, fascinated by the soft clicks and the way his huge fingers maneuvered carefully but almost effortlessly around the tiny, sparkling white pieces. "Why?" I asked finally.

"Change is necessary."

That's the last thing I ever heard him say.

* * *

Author's Note: …

…

…

…hi.

SO IT'S KINDA BEEN AWHILE. I'm sorry I've been so out of touch lately, I kinda needed to find my muse on this one again and boy did I. So I'll set up a deadline kinda late for a little while and hopefully go back to a weekly basis. On Wednesdays. Yes. But I do kinda wanna get far ahead of myself again so that I know what I'm doing with the plot. Things are getting more complicated and the last thing I wanna do is end up retconning.

Anyway. As far as this chapter goes, I've had that idea for Roxas and Axel waltzing forever and I pretty much wanted to play around with their relationship a bit and visit the dungeon lurkers because I know I'm not paying enough attention to those guys (except Vexen, he tends to steal screentime). On the side and in case there was any doubt, I know very well the difference between "serene" and "serendipity," but Sora doesn't. X3


	25. Best Friends, Right?

**Lemon-scented.**

* * *

"Xemnas is meddling with the past again!"

If Vexen had said anything else, I probably would have walked right past him with Riku and thought nothing of it. In fact, if it had been a second earlier, I would have anyway—but it just so happened that I had thought, for a flash of an instant, about the past lives, and that moment coincided with the one Vexen used to rant to Zexion and Lexaeus.

So I let Riku close the door and then stopped him, shooting him a significant look, and lingered close enough to hear the conversation unfold.

Zexion sighed irritably through his nose. "Which concerns us…why?"

"Because he's marrying Marluxia. He would've pulled a devotion, too, if Saix hadn't stopped him."

"Xemnas has too many followers for that. The sheer number of jilted lovers would overwhelm him."

"_He does not think of these things_!" Vexen raged, banging what sounded like the table with every word. "All he can see is where he wants to go, not how he's getting there! And then he badgers _Axel_ for being careless!"

"Axel has significantly fewer advisors on hand much of the time. Why is he marrying Marluxia?" Zexion pressed just as Vexen started to object.

This made the Jotun snort. "He's only being forward. Whatever dissention that didn't come from Axel back in the day came from Marluxia, and with the Dryad crisis on our hands, Xemnas is likely looking to dominate him."

"Marluxia is not a fool. He must have realized this."

"Yes, but he accepted."

Vexen sounded slightly subdued, but Zexion's voice was suddenly sharp with suspicion. "Then he may be looking to force _Xemnas_ into submission…"

"Which puts us in a very bad position." A steady tempo of measured footsteps started, and I figured Vexen was pacing. "Not that Marluxia is a _total_ buffoon when it comes to politics, but he's inexperienced and he lacks Xemnas's methods of persuasion."

"Methods which even he does not seem to understand and which may not be entirely legal," Zexion pointed out lightly.

"Cheating is legal according to the Seventh Statute."

"Precisely. And the Seventh Statute is only applicable every other month."

"Except for leap years," Vexen added firmly. "Lexaeus, would you put that _away_?"

The clicking from Lexaeus's puzzle stopped short.

"He's paying attention," Zexion said with a touch of iron in his voice.

"It's _rude_."

"Very well. Put it away, Lexaeus, and I'm _certain_ the rule of doubt will allow for your usual unsurpassable insight without a lockdoll's assistance."

Vexen sighed heavily. "If you _must_," he said, and the clicking started up again. "But whatever the case, we must ensure Xemnas's continued Superiority. The moment he steps down is the moment Ansem's men will be on us like Phoenixes on a human, and even with Xemnas's help from the sidelines, Marluxia will be at a profound disadvantage."

"Which begs the question as to why Marluxia feels he has the right to speak up in the first place. He IS very new to the game, considering. It's almost something I'd expect from Axel," Zexion pointed out.

"Axel's too smart for that. He must realize the length of Xemnas's arm…so perhaps Marluxia's emotions are clouding his judgment," Vexen suggested grimly.

It sounded like Zexion shifted and made an unconcerned noise. "I have faith in the Superior."

"Are you suggesting that I don't?"

"I am _suggesting_ that now is not the time to wage the Twelfth Zenithian War and Xemnas can tend to this one on his own. If it were _Axel's_ hand in question, it would be a time for concern. And perhaps a cranial examination."

Vexen must've caught the unspoken implication there, because he growled softly and stalked farther into the room. "It's something to keep an eye on," he conceded finally.

"In the meantime, Riku tells me…"

And then it ballooned out into Zenithian terms and expressions again, and I turned back to Riku in surprise. "This is more complicated than I thought," he said after a minute.

"Yeah, they're…there's a lot of things going on with them," I murmured. I definitely remembered Xemnas being a little touchy on the subject of Marluxia's betrayal in the first life, and that had to factor into his decision to marry the guy—even though I thought that was overdoing it no matter how you looked at it—and with Axel running around like a lean green serial-killing machine, I could sort of see how they were so concerned about him trying to take control now. There was a kind of residue, it seemed like—but Axel had definitely calmed down, even after the whole thing with the Organization's split, ever since…

…since _Roxas_ got here.

* * *

"This isn't edible."

"_Yes_, it _is_."

"You _know_ how this is for me. It's like swallowing gum. I won't do it."

"You are a perfectionist weirdo and I want you to _eat the food_."

"Sora, for the last time, this is _toothpaste_!" Riku shouted finally, losing his temper.

I glared levelly at him. We were here in part because it was dinner time, we were both getting tired of Zexion's cooking, and Axel had nothing better to do, but also because I'd needed a quick way to get his mind off what happened with Vexen and the others. A lot of it had to do with the past lives, and Xemnas had forbidden me to explain everything that took place back then in case it made all kinds of things start happening. Just knowing about it was dangerous enough.

So I was stubbornly whittling down Riku's resolve. "Riku, you remember that time I ate that thing that was _so good_ and you wouldn't try it?"

"No."

"It was _really good_."

"Sora, c'mon."

"_You_ c'mon," I told him, pulling out an old secret weapon I hadn't used in ages and actually pouting at the guy. "Do you trust me or what, here?"

He glowered at me for a minute, obviously a little vexed at getting his words thrown back at him, and then looked back down at the riatzche. "Fine. I trust you. But if it tastes like that gross Barbie stuff Kairi uses, I'm spitting it at _you_."

I thought about asking him how he knew what that stuff tasted like—it sounded like there was a funny story involved—but I was winning, so I figured I shouldn't push my luck.

Riku took the tiniest possible dollop and licked the tiniest possible smidge off the side. "It doesn't taste like anything."

"You didn't _eat_ any of it," I told him irritably, seizing the spoon from him and burying it in the godly stuff. "Say ahh."

Aquamarine eyes narrowed into slits. "No way in hell."

I snickered. "Here comes the train! Choo choo!"

"If Axel sees this you are going to _di_—_gglphh_!"

I guessed right—Riku dropped a death threat, and he always opens his mouth _really_ wide when he drops a death threat. It's for emphasis or something, but in this case it just helped me get the spoon in his mouth. He started to struggle, wide eyes narrowing back into a glare—but then they got all soft and unfocused and he let out this orgasmic _moan_ that just hummed up the spoon into my hand…and…

_Whoa._

He pulled away and I paid way too much attention to the way he licked his lips and closed his eyes. "That stuff…whatever that is…is _amazing_."

"Yeah, I—you—you see, you would've…totally…missed out," I stammered, _really_ hoping I wasn't blushing as hard as I felt like I was. I don't pretend to know the finer points of dining etiquette, but "don't get aroused when you watch your best friend eat" should be at the top of the list.

Somebody up there likes me, because Riku completely didn't notice, being a little too busy confiscating the spoon from me and consuming the rest of his riatzche. I tried to concentrate on mine, but all of a sudden I didn't really feel like eating. In fact, I felt really sick to my stomach, like somebody had just suggested I wanted to sleep with my brother. Not that I _have_ a brother, but still.

"Hey," I said finally, more to distract myself than make small talk, "you won't remember this, but…" I hesitated, suddenly recalling the _other_ things Riku didn't remember, and was filled with a morbid longing for that situation again just so I would know one way or another how he felt. But I _did_ know—it was completely platonic, but I wasn't satisfied with that. Satisfied—with—_knowing_ that, I mean. But what else was there to know?

"Yeah?"

He jerked me back to reality and I wrenched my mind away from those thoughts and back to the subject at hand. "Uh…there was…wait." I gave my forehead a thump to jumpstart my brain. "You remember back when Kairi disappeared?"

"I remember that you say she did, yeah."

"She did," I said firmly, annoyed that he didn't just take my word for it.

"Okay."

"Well…" I hesitated. "I think there was someone else. Who got—you know, the—brandy and stuff," I added, waving a hand vaguely. "Like, it was you, me, Kairi, and…" I made an abrupt gesture, like I could force the name into being.

Riku was frowning at the riatzche when I looked over at him, his eyes faraway. "I don't—" he started, but then glanced at me and suddenly fell silent, looking away like he couldn't meet my eyes. "I can't lie to you," he said finally. "I sort of…somewhere in my head, it's like there was someone just as important…"

"Yeah?" I pressed, ecstatic that I'd finally gotten through to someone.

He shook his head then, rising. "But whoever it was, I don't want them to come back."

Riku headed off to track down Axel without another word, and I watched him go, a terrible coldness tightening in my chest.

* * *

The rest of the day was awkward, and I was pretty sure I'd hit a nerve somewhere. I got the sense that something really terrible must have happened between them for Riku to be so short about it, but I (obviously) couldn't remember enough to track it down. I was also just so surprised he'd remembered! I'd asked more to change the subject than anything else, and while I figured it was possible that brandy had wiped it out before with Kairi, I didn't understand how he could be remembering _now_. It made me wonder if Kairi remembered anything…but then, if it was something Riku wanted to avoid, I wasn't so sure I wanted to bring it up. She might feel the same way for one reason or another…but if _I_ was close to this person and _they_ were enemies, how was it I was still friends with both?

I brooded over this, pinched it and worried at it almost the whole day, until Riku declared a slumber party in his room to celebrate our last night at the Apex. Zexion turned out to be too professional for that, but Demyx, Axel, and Roxas were happy to hang out, even though they didn't seem to understand the concept and left just as I was getting the hang of one of the popular Zenithian video games (apparently the point is to die twice and then stay alive long enough to grab all the green apples). Riku was better at it, just in case there was any doubt in your mind.

So I ended up in his bed, in lieu of a sleeping bag, lying awake and feeling unusually nostalgic. I was growing up, after all. I'd be a sophomore in high school by August, and that left me with only three years before college. Years used to seem like a long time, but lately they'd been flying by. How long would it be before getting in touch with Riku or Kairi got difficult? Before life picked up and turned everything on its ear? Before the play island and rafts and boats and paopu fruit were all just a graying memory?

Making a faintly frustrated sound, I turned over on my side and caught sight of Riku's back. He was sleeping shirtless—he does that and I don't get it, it drives me insane—and his hair was pooled on the pillow and the mattress both. It was really getting long, but somehow it didn't look as pointy when he was asleep. End result, he just looked so defenseless and relaxed and _familiar_, and at the same time almost exotic, and all of a sudden I had this really stupid need to touch him.

So I did. He was my best friend after all, and if he had anything to say about it I'd just tell him to stop being stupid and it'd be fine. No big deal. But I was gentle at first, shaking a little for no reason, and just kind of ran my fingertips along his back. He didn't seem to notice, so I did it again—he's really built, after all, and I was just jealous and stuff—and kept going, tracing random swirls along his skin. I figured he was asleep, so I dug my nails in just enough to feel—and completely didn't expect the deep, appreciative moan that vibrated along my fingers. It made me draw back in surprise, and Riku shifted. "…stopped?" he garbled out after a minute.

I froze and blinked. "Um. You want…?" And blushed. Already my heart was pounding and the room felt very hot all of a sudden. _Why_ did sex have to come to mind right then? Was it seriously going to screw with me every time I so much as patted his shoulder now?

He let out a sleepy grunt and sighed. "Feels good," he managed finally.

It took me a minute to get up the nerve again, but I did and started tracing those same random patterns again, careful not to scratch him. My nails had gotten ungodly long in the weeks I'd been off with Axel. I made a mental note to clip them before people started looking at me funny.

There wasn't anything _sexual_ about it, dammit—well, shit…not at first. But it seems like once my brain's on that road, there's no getting off. (That's not what I meant, stop it.) What's worse, I kept hoping Riku would make that sound again, and I wasn't sure why.

Either I'm telepathic or Zenith had something to do with it, because Riku seemed to be waking up. Wait, never mind, Riku was _awake_—and after several moments he turned over. I think he was just going to read my eyes and see what they had to say (they're really horrible about giving away everything I'm thinking), but the process made my fingers brush his stomach and that just felt _different_. I'm sure I've touched him there before, but we were kids then and it was another story.

He picked up on that touch, I could tell that much from his gaze—but it's usually pretty hard even for me to figure out what's going on behind those eyes. Which is frustrating beyond measure, especially right _then_.

"I. Um," I mumbled, wanting to explain it away. I knew Riku would let me do that in an instant, and yet…dammit, we were both boys and we knew how it worked, I'd been through this before, it was purely experimentation, and I could justify it until the end of time. I was taking the plunge.

And I was going to lead. I decided that right away, because I didn't want a repeat of the dancing thing and I definitely didn't want to be the "girl" in the relationship. That is, the relationship that wasn't _really_ a relationship, or…_whatever_. I've heard about these things and they have "girl" and "boy" and I was "boy," 'kay?

I reached back out to brush his navel with my fingertips and brought them down, only for him to gasp and stiffen. "Sor—you don't have to—!"

"It's okay," I said quickly, but I stopped before I hit his waistband, almost glad for the excuse. My heart was going a mile a minute and I felt like I was going to die—all the lingering doubts were rioting somewhere in the back of my head, not to mention all of this was so terribly, completely, immeasurably _weird_. "I mean, I've kinda…" _Hoshit._ "It's okay. Seriously."

Riku seemed to go numb all over. "You've…done this before?"

"No! W—I mean, I—n—not _exactly_…"

He slapped my hand away and glared at me. "Dude, _who_?"

I felt something twist painfully in my chest at the look on his face. "…What?"

"Who was it? Did he force you? The hell happened? Where was I?" he pressed fiercely, and I got hit with a _surge_ of relief. He was just concerned, then—for two horrible seconds I'd been certain he thought I was gay and already hated me forever.

"I—look—_no_, just…I'm sorry I brought it up, I shouldn't've." I drew back to my own side of the bed, ready to abandon ship and let this be over.

He propped himself up on one arm and loomed over me.

"_Where was I_?"

The intensity in his eyes surprised me into silence, and I swallowed. "You were here, alright? It was while I was out with Axel and them."

His cheeks actually turned _green_. "Not Axel?" he whispered.

I started stammering uncontrollably, helpless to stop it as his eyes grew impossibly wide and he put a horrified hand to his face. "Oh my _g_—_you_ _fucked Axel_?!"

"_NO_!"

It sounded loud enough to wake the whole Apex, and we were both too shocked to say anything for a moment. Then we both started talking at once.

"Look, I didn't—"

"Then what in _hell_—"

"—it was just—"

"—'d it have to be my _partner_ of all p—"

"Handjob!" I blurted, and that finally got him to shut up. "It was a handjob—that's it, that's all it was, I swear—stupid Zenithian thing, you know how it—!"

"Okay," he said, reaching out like he was going to grab me, but he only made a placating gesture with his hands. "Okay. Calm down."

"H-hypocrite," I whimpered, and suddenly I knew I was going to cry.

He hissed suddenly, almost like he was in pain. "Aw, Sora, don't—you know I hate it when you do this…"

"Sorry," I said automatically. Suddenly it just felt like I needed air, and I turned back to look up at the ceiling, resting an arm across my forehead a minute and breathing to get myself under control.

"It's okay. I'm not mad, I don't hate you—it was Zenith, I get it. Just…" He hesitated. "Axel doesn't know I know, does he?" he asked then. He let out a sigh of relief when I shook my head. "Good. Let's keep it that way."

I frowned and turned my head to look at him. "Okay, b—"

"You _know_ what he'll do."

"…Oh. Yeah. Good point."

And we fell silent, absorbing what had just happened. I was frustrated with the whole thing. I _really_ hadn't wanted to tell him about it, and he probably could've done without those images in his head. But it wasn't supposed to matter! The thing with Axel had been a thing with Axel, just like the thing with Riku had been a thing with Riku.

Even if the thing with Axel might have gotten me a little curious about the things that could happen with Riku. I'd been kind of wondering what it was like at the other end, and—oh my god, that came out completely wrong, I did _not_ mean—

"Well, uh…tonight's been…enlightening," Riku said finally, nodding and looking only mildly traumatized now.

"Yeah. You…bed? Or…?" I took a moment to kick myself inside for being so damn coherent.

He looked at me like a deer in headlights. "Well—I mean—I figured—"

"Oh, that's—yeah, I just, if you—"

We frowned at each other. "This does _not_ get easier," Riku grumbled.

"No," I agreed, and decided that actions would have to do the talking. He stiffened again when my fingers brushed his stomach, and I could feel my heart pounding in my ears as I found the elastic edge of his boxers. Suddenly I felt a touch at my hip, and I looked up to him in surprise. "Not me," I said quickly just as he opened his mouth. "Just…not now." The idea of him touching _me _touching _him_ was…too much. I just couldn't handle the concept of both at once right then—it brought back the fact that we were both guys, _best friend_ guys, and that all this was supposed to be wrong in the first place.

He let out a strained grunt. "I can't _not_ do _some_thing—"

"Shut up," I suggested, and kissed him. It was partially to shut him up like I said, but also to distract me from the fact that I had my hand in another guy's pants. And yeah, there were about three fully functional brain cells left in my head to appreciate the irony.

So I slid my hand in—god that sounds dirty—and at first tried not to touch him too much, but there wasn't a whole lot of room _not_ to, and all of a sudden that was _it_ and I was _gripping_—

I panicked and pulled away completely for one cold second. It felt _backwards_ and _wrong_ and _stupid_ and _weird_, but then Riku let out a faint protest and all my doubts just dissolved right there. I found him again, squeezed tentatively, and felt goosebumps pop out on my arms at the low murmur he didn't quite smother completely. I'm into sounds, I've noticed that about myself with girls, and there was something just plain satisfying about the ones Riku made. I could tell he was really trying to hold back, so the ones that got out were the ones he hadn't strangled into silence, and they were almost like little victories somehow.

Not only that, but once I got the boxers out of the way and started going a little faster, he tucked his head against mine and started panting into my ear. _That_ was interesting.

More than anything, it felt strange because it wasn't _mine_, so it was like the thing was pointed in the wrong direction and awkward. Especially since he was about the same size as me, maybe a little bigger (but Riku's ALWAYS bigger so I'm sure it evens out). Even then, those gasps were about enough to take my mind off that part, and it got to the point where I didn't really have to do anything but hold my hand still and let him do the work. He stopped suddenly with a strangled "Sssggnnnhhhh!" and I wasn't sure why until I felt the wetness against my legs.

…Ew.

But I wasn't really new to that, so I made a dumb generic comment and tried to be a little discreet about wiping my hand off on the sheets. Then I tried even harder not to think about what kinds of awkward questions might come up in the morning if a certain redheaded someone bounded into our room and shrieked at the top of his lungs like a fucked up rooster the way he'd suggested earlier that day.

Riku, in the meantime, mumbled something indistinct and turned over. "What?" I said, but he was out like a light.

I rolled my eyes and tried to get comfortable in such a way that I wouldn't touch the icky places, and I suddenly felt like such a kid. That's when it finally occurred to me that we'd just done something very _adult_. It wasn't all that different from going solo in theory, but left with the smell and the feel of it, it seemed much more serious and personal and _real_.

* * *

Uhhhh. Crap.

Wow, this is, uh…this is kinda embarrassing. I actually don't remember at all what happened the next day. I _know_ that morning was awkward as hell, but I don't remember anything about it.

Huh. That's dumb.

Anyway, something happened to slow us up…it seems like there was a problem somewhere with someone about some_thing_, and yeah…wow. That really annoys me. I'm going to have to ask somebody about that one. I think it was connected with the Service, but whatever it was it took all day and Riku and I ended up packing sometime during the evening.

So I was standing outside my room, fidgeting and waiting for Riku to come back from picking up a few things at the Service and the Dusks to come grab our stuff. The Apex was busy as always—those guys just never seemed to catch a break, and they'd stopped caring about the Heartless completely and started focusing on the Exchange.

Which is why it surprised me a little to see Xigbar coming up the hall towards me. I wasn't used to seeing him without Demyx or someone around, and for an instant I was a little nervous for some reason, but then he smirked familiarly. "Bailing on us?"

I chuckled. "I wouldn't, but we've gotta get home."

"Figures." He leaned against the wall next to me, recalibrating one of his hands into a small monitor. "It's gonna be boring around here for a while anyhow. Exchange practice sucks," he grunted.

"Procrastinating?"

"_Dude_. No. If Xemnas shows up, I'm totally teaching you about Zenith," the Cyborg said with a nod.

I chuckled mildly and groped for something else to say while he fiddled around with the monitor. After a minute, my eye fell on…well, _his_. I didn't know enough about Cyborgs to say if they were men or machines, because everything that looked like flesh seemed capable of discombobulating—and yet, there was that clearly robotic eye. "So, uh," I managed finally, fidgeting; "what'd…what'd happen to your eye? I mean—damn, that's rude, but I'm just—"

"Curious?" He shot me an unsettling smirk. "Doesn't that kill something fluffy in your world?"

"Er. Yeah." I dropped my gaze. "Sorry I asked."

"It's cool. But if you gotta know…" He leaned closer suddenly, and there was a glint in that yellow eye that I _didn't like_—was it my imagination or did his teeth suddenly look very sharp? "It got," he began just as I opened my mouth to protest, and then he licked his lips in a way that made me flinch back like a spooked cat; "…_eaten_."

My mouth wouldn't work. "Th-that—wuh—must've—s-sucked a lot…"

"You're one creepy motherfucker, Xigbar."

Thank god for Axel.

Xigbar leaned back with a chuckle and just like that it was back to normal. "If I told you what really happened to it, it'd keep you up at night," he said frankly, ruffling my hair like everybody _always does_.

Axel only snickered. "He's blowing it outta proportion." He jostled Xigbar familiarly. "Haven't you got shit to do? You keep running away from Xemnas and he'll come up with ways to tie you down."

The Cyborg shot him a nasty smirk. "I dunno that it's safe to leave you alone with this one. Seems like you pissed Roxas off the _last_ time you two hung around a bedroom together."

Shit. He just _had_ to bring that one up.

I heard Axel growl, but I just concentrated on not blushing too much. The last thing I needed was someone thinking there was some substance to any of that, and Axel probably couldn't handle any more stress on his relationship with Roxas right now.

Xigbar must've known he'd hit a nerve, because he clapped my shoulder and backed off with a wink. "See you 'round, kid. Stay outta trouble."

I grinned at that. "Same to you."

"Don't get smart with me. I can always give you a shiner like mine," he threatened, but waved and passed on down the hall.

Axel had already seized up several of the bags when I turned back, and he grimaced when I frowned at him in confusion. "I _told_ Xemnas to use the stupid Dusks, but like a third of them are off delivering messages to the less connected places and the rest are still patching up the underside. So I'm errand boy, as usual."

I chuckled. "I guess it keeps you from playing pranks on the rest of the Apex."

"Not _pranks_. _Acts_. And damn good ones," he said sourly, bending to pick up one of the larger bags. "_Hoh_—!"

"Uh—yeah, that's Riku's," I told him quickly. "Don't bother with that one, it'll break your spine in two."

"H-hmmm." He set it back down with a shuddering thud. "I'll trust him to get that one, then. This all of it?"

"Yeah." I don't bring a ton when I travel (as little as I do), and generally Riku doesn't either, but sometimes he gets weird and lugs along all his most prized possessions like he's not sure if he's ever coming back. "Elevator?"

"_Please_," Axel muttered, and headed out, both of us loaded down with bags again. It felt strange to think that I was headed home this time, and not out to track down another member of the Apex or get caught up in some potentially life-altering crisis. In a weird way, I was probably going to miss that, but in the meantime it was just plain _time_ to go home.

We stopped at the basement, dumping most of the stuff in the library since Zexion wasn't around to complain about it, and Axel hesitated. "This is gonna sound dumb, and I'm normally not such a sap, but I got something for you," he said after a minute, scratching his temple in embarrassment.

I blinked at him in surprise and suddenly felt really terrible for not thinking of that. "Aw, man, Axel—you didn't have to—!"

"No no, it's not a big deal, just…" He shrugged one shoulder. "Shit happens. And I dunno if I'm gonna see you around so much anymore, so I figured, why not. Here."

He tossed me something flat and blue, and I didn't realize what it was until I almost dropped it. "Uh. A card?"

"Tap it twice and flip it over when you wanna open it." He smirked suddenly. "You'll see."

I rolled my eyes and pocketed it. "I'm never gonna be able to trust you, am I?"

"Nope." I expected another snark, but something changed in his eyes just then—suddenly he wasn't quite Axel anymore, but someone a little different. "Miss you."

I could practically _feel_ that other me taking control, but he seemed too astonished to say anything. The moment passed, and suddenly it was back to normal and Axel was scratching his ear. "Weird. Dunno where that came from."

It took me a minute to respond—I was surprised he was _conscious _of it, it never seemed like the others realized what they were doing—but before I could really say anything, I saw Riku heading in behind us with that huge bag of his slung effortlessly over his shoulder. He blinked at us, crooking an eyebrow. "I miss something?"

* * *

To make a long story short, Riku's bag is heavy as hell. The original plan had been to go separately, go home, and go to sleep, but Riku just never lets us do things the easy way. So we dropped my bags off first and lugged his monster back to his house somehow, complaining back and forth, and managed not to wake his parents. So he was dividing his attention between unpacking and watching the episode of Scrubs that had come on—it was the musical episode, and I've seen that one like _five million_ times—while I fiddled around with Axel's card. "Tap it twice and flip it over," I recited, trying that, but it only pirouetted half-heartedly and slapped against the carpet. Still a card. Still annoying. Although I was a little surprised it hadn't landed on an edge or something completely stupid like that.

Riku had been right about Destiny Islands—it was a new kind of weird to be amazed at things behaving _normally_, and caught off guard when something didn't fall up or take an eternity to understand or do something for no reason. Of course, I'd only been here for maybe thirty minutes, but it was already sinking in that I was _home_ and I was back in the rhythm before I knew it.

"This thing is being _stupid_," I complained to Riku, who was collapsed on his bed and smirking sleepily at Turk and J.D.'s duet. Normally I probably wouldn't have really pursued it, but I was cranky, and I knew if I annoyed him enough he'd come help me with it. "Axel told me how to do it, but it just won'—"

_**KABAM**_

I almost had a heart attack. The card had fucking _exploded_ without warning, sending a huge shockwave through the room, cracking one of the windows, and making a noise loud enough to wake the dead. Any minute now his parents would be coming up to demand just what in hell we were doing at three in the morning with Scrubs on and luggage strewn everywhere, but I was really just happy to find that I was still intact. Riku had fallen off the bed, fully awake now, and was staring wide-eyed at the loud green and purple box in the middle of the room. "The fuck was _that_?!"

"Ax…Axel's…present," I managed finally, straightening from where I'd gotten thrown back against the floor.

There was a long moment where we both just kind of breathed, still freaked out of our minds. "Uh…huh," Riku said finally, getting back to his feet and bracing one hand on the bed. He was looking at the box like he expected it to attack. "What's in it?"  
"How'm I supposed to know?"

"Open it."

"Are you _insane_?"

"He wouldn't give you anything dangerous," Riku said stubbornly.

I let out a disbelieving little laugh. But I was a little curious, so I picked the thing up and moved it carefully, not quite trusting it enough to shake it around. It was kind of heavy. "It's probably a bomb," I muttered sourly, listening to how it rumbled softly. "Or maybe a great big rock."

"Open it and I'll flip to Disney."

I glanced back to find Riku on the bed again, chin propped on one hand and eyes locked on the box, and smirked. Riku _hates_ Disney. He was really curious. "Deal," I told him, fumbling for the wrapping. After all, I don't miss Aladdin for the world—not to mention I was actually kind of glad for the excuse. Wrapping is the bane of my existence—if something's wrapped, I _have_ to open it, or somebody has to do it soon. Christmas is _hell_ for me.

But this was the last present on earth I ever should have opened. I stared down into the depths, horrified at first, then apprehensive, then just annoyed. "Cute, Axel," I muttered, taking one out and holding it with my thumb and forefinger like the thing was diseased. "Real cute." There were probably another dozen or so in the box.

I didn't realize Riku had come up behind me until he talked almost into my ear. "Sweet. I'm starving." And time seemed to slow down as he plucked it right out of my hand and moved back for the bed.

In a second I was whirling, grabbing ineffectually for it like I could somehow undo what was already done. "Rik—_NO_! Bananas get distorted in Zenith!" _Oh, SHIT!_ Failing, I clapped my hands over an area of my person I particularly didn't want him to see when the clothes came off.

But he just chuckled over his shoulder at me, the bastard, and flopped back down onto the bed. "This isn't Zenith, silly. It's fine."

_No, it is NOT FINE! You would not BELIEVE just how NOT FINE this is!_ I wanted to scream at him, but it definitely didn't seem like our clothes were disappearing, and as far as I could tell all the doors and windows were still unlocked. Maybe I was safe? But it was hard to relax after I'd tried _so hard_ to keep this from happening. _Stupid Axel. Stupid sex-obsessed Axel and his stupid fucking FRUIT._

"Aladdin's on."

_YAY._

Glad to get my mind off them, I gave the box of bananas a dismissive kick and moved over to drop onto the bed next to Riku, close but not too close, as always. "So what do bananas do, exactly?" he asked around a mouthful of it, and I shoved him playfully.

"It's Zenith we're talking. Use your imagination."

"Did it hurt you?" he asked then, turning to frown at me in concern.

"Uh…no. Just…let's…Aladdin right now. 'Kay?"

He snorted and took another bite. "Freak."

"Jerk."

It occurred to me that Riku's parents hadn't stirred and we weren't hearing any sirens, which meant the family in the next house over wasn't alarmed enough to call the cops. _Oh, well. Zenith,_ I thought. But this wasn't Zenith.

It seems like things kind of got fuzzy after that, and suddenly I was being shaken awake, with Riku shrugging his shoulder to get me off him. "That's my arm, not a pillow," he informed me.

"Mmmm…?"

"You missed it. Mozenrath finally died," he said, sounding oddly pleased. "Annoying son of a bitch, that guy. Aladdin wasn't even bothering him this time, but he still had to be an asshole."

I rubbed my eyes and squinted at the credits, annoyed I missed it, but then grinned at Riku. "Does that mean I've got a convert?"  
"Psch. No. Disney's for little kids and freaks like you," he said, elbowing me harshly.

I just smiled, not really lucid enough to come up with a good response, and mustered the willpower to get off the bed and head for the door. "I'm gonna go get some water. Is it cool if I crash here?"

"Always," he said simply, his eyes locked on the screen.

"Thanks."

Click.

Click click click click.

"Riku?"

"Mmmh."

"Did you lock the door?"

"No."

"Well…it's locked."

"Turn the thingy then, trying to watch?" he groaned out, annoyed.

I glanced down to do that and suddenly noticed something was really wrong with my glove. "Buh?" It was like it was there. But not. Transparent, that's the word, but seriously, why was the door so _locked_ all of a sudden?

_Oh._

_Jesus._

_Christ._

Suddenly my voice sounded very high-pitched to me. "Riku?"

"_What_?"

"We've got a problem."

He didn't answer that, but I wasn't turning around for the world. I could already tell that the rest of my clothes were transparent—it wouldn't be long before they were gone completely, and I just wasn't ready to be naked in front of the same guy who'd come in my hand just the other night.

"See, you know what I was saying about bananas? They kinda. Do this. And we're gonna hafta…kinda…do something. But it'll be just like last night." I cringed a little, waiting for him to explode and start ranting about Axel or me or bananas or whatever merited ranting.

"…I feel funny."

"Yeah, that's 'cause we're naked."

I waited for several moments, deciding to count to ten and then turn around. _Eleven…twelve…thirteen—_

Riku giggled.

Riku does _not_ giggle.

I knew then that something was horribly wrong and whirled, completely prepared to face anything in the world.

I, um. Thought.

I was _not_ prepared for my nearly naked best friend to be looking at me like I was prime rib, eyes sweeping up and down to take everything in and shoulder tucked flirtatiously under his ear. He smirked wider and giggled again, eyes glinting in a way that absolutely was not Riku. "C'mere."

_…What._

My voice must have gone up a whole octave. "Ri…Riku…?"

"C'_mere_," he repeated simply, crooking a finger, and—and no I was _not_ getting excited at the deep swell of his voice or the curve of his spine or the way he was licking his lips like…_oh_. _Why is this happening to me?!_

"Um. I'm, um. I'm gonna give you a minute," I mumbled, dropping my eyes from his. "Something's happened to your head."

"I could make it happen to yours, too…if you let me."

I heard the bed creak and looked up in a panic to find he was getting up and _what_ the _fuck_—he was _hard_ already! Just when the hell had _that_ happened?! I flattened myself against the door like I was trying to melt right through it, feeling unusually powerless. _Hiding behind the big boys—yeah, well what the fuck do I do when they turn on me?!_ "Uh—in—in a minute, okay? You're…something's gotten you too excited."

"_You_ got me excited," he accused, getting close—getting _way too fucking close_ now—! "And you're making this tougher than it has to be. Dummy." He leaned forward suddenly, slamming both hands into the door on either side of my head and that was his_ penis_ right up against my belly button.

And I turned into a Pokemon that could only say his name. "_Ri—_! Riku…Riku, d—Riku—_Ri—ku_—!"

He made a pleased murmur and leaned in—_shit_, he was seriously about to start kissing me for _real_!—and I finally got my body to work, reaching out with both hands to shove him away. He didn't budge, but he couldn't move any closer, either. "Riku, we need to—we _have_ to stop!" I babbled desperately, not really sure when it had become "we" in the first place.

"We do?" he asked simply, dropping one of his arms back to his side. I relaxed a little, and over his shoulder I spotted the banana peel on the dresser.

_…Oh, duh! I forgot! That idiot ATE THE BANANA!_

"Riku, listen to me," I said carefully, not entirely sure how deep this went and how long it was supposed to last. "You're not _you_ right now, okay?"

He studied me silently for a moment. "Then who am I?"

That one caught me off guard. "I'm not…I'm not sure, but it's gonna be okay, all right? It's gonna be _fine_, we'll…this'll wear off, and if it doesn't we can—_AH! _Oh god_—Riku—_what're you—?!"

"It's called a _handjob_," he growled in my ear, taking advantage of the moment of weakness to lean in and do something fucking _amazing_ to my neck. I don't know if it was the banana or what, but somehow he seemed more experienced—I wasn't even shoving him away anymore, I was just holding on, wanting nothing more than to _melt_ right there in his hand—but _no_, this wasn't _right_, it shouldn't be this _intense_—!

It quite literally took all the self-discipline I possessed to drive a fist into his jaw and send him reeling back, green eyes rolling a little before coming to a stop on me and narrowing. "What was that for?" he wanted to know, almost pouting a little as he put a hand to his mouth.

"Y-you're going too fast," I told him, still panting and flushed, and ducked towards the center of the room. I did _not_ want to end up pressed against that door again.

He arched an eyebrow. "You mean you can't keep up?"

"No, I mean you are _freaking me the fuck out_," I said shortly, taking several steps back—damn, there was just _nowhere_ to escape to, and I really needed one right now. "We—I know we have to do something, but we can wait until you're back to—back to normal."

For a moment he studied me carefully, and I braced myself, certain he'd jump me at any moment and I wouldn't be able to get away, but then he shrugged. "Alright." And he flopped down onto the bed, still naked and hard as bedrock.

I just stood there and watched him, trying to get the world to slow down, and after a few moments he turned over on his side and looked like he fell asleep. I wasn't too sure how he could sleep with a hard-on like that, but as long as he was good and far away from me I wasn't complaining. Or, well, the part of me with a functioning _brain_ wasn't complaining.

I must've waited at least ten minutes, not comfortable with the idea of sitting or standing or _being_ here at all, and finally decided enough was enough and it was time to get this over with. "Riku?" I called faintly. His side was rising and falling rhythmically, and his lips were slightly parted—if he was faking, he was doing one hell of a job of it. Besides, I knew he'd been tired, so even if he was faking at first he might've fallen asleep in the process. Or at least gone back to normal somehow.

"Riku?" I said again, just to be safe, and then moved over to his side. So he was naked, yeah, alright, no big deal—I could still do this, I'd done it before, even though it felt really wrong to be reaching for him like this—

His hand was around my wrist before I knew it and in two seconds flat I was face down on the bed, hands trapped above my head. "I'll be gentle," Riku whispered in my ear.

My whole world turned inside out. "Ri—_no_—Riku—what're—!" I grunted out, squirming and twisting against him, but his hands seemed to get harder around mine every time I moved, like a python crushing its prey. "We don't have to go this _far_, you stupid—!"

"You know me, I'm an overachiever. Let's go the extra mile anyway."

I froze for a moment, because that _really did _sound like Riku, but then I felt his hand grazing my back, headed for—_Axel said it was the ass?! But—is Riku REALLY going to—!_ "You _can't do this_!" I almost screamed, trying to kick him or butt him in the head; anything that would take his attention off this long enough. "This isn't—I _don't want_—this is _rape_, dammit!" My voice died into faint grunts of effort as I realized I was about to cry, and I was shaking so hard that at first I couldn't tell Riku was shaking, too.

He was whispering something, I realized after a minute when neither of us moved. "I _won't_—I _won't let you use m_…!"

"Riku?" I murmured, and then tried to jerk away. But he held fast, and in the next moment I was facing him. His face only looked disappointed, but there was a kind of lost desperation in his eyes.

"Can't do that to you, then. You're no fun. But we'll see if we can't work up to that…" He slid his free hand down my chest, fingers tickling lightly over my ribs, and I started to hyperventilate as I realized where it was headed—not because I was afraid, but because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get out of this one in time.

"Riku—can't we just _wait_—!"

"I _have_ waited," he grumbled. "I'm tired of it." But he stopped then and smirked down at me, like he was pleased with how I looked laid out like that.

I absolutely couldn't stop the blush and hated myself for it, but I think I hated him more about right then. "Cut it _out_, your parents're gonna—!"

"I told you I'd have you on your back."

Horror made me sick to my stomach. "W…what?" But Riku didn't answer that, and the fingers resting on my abdomen flexed gently. Time was running out. "But—Riku, that was—!"

"A joke?" He leaned down to chuckle into my ear. "Funny."

"_Riku_—!" Any other protest I was going to make died in my throat when he seized me again and started stroking, destroying any other sensations or denials or any thought besides _don't stop_. It _had not_ been like this with Axel—I could have pulled away from him at almost any time, but with Riku my body gave and moved to a will besides my own for the first time. _He's got me,_ I thought dimly, twisting my head sharply to one side like a half-hearted attempt at escape. _Right where he wants me. _

_He's got me now._

* * *

Author's Note: Annnnd Vexen stole the show again and I tried to sound intelligent. But who cares about that when there's schmex rite?! Let's all look at that instead! :D

Sooooo…despite meeting the deadline, I have made exactly no progress whatsoever and am now two chapters behind. BUT. Everything from here on out has been worked out up to a point, the Grim Reaper has his list (not that it's anyone you know, of course), and the major plot points have been mapped and analyzed. Now it's just a matter of hitting all of them.

Speaking of lists, I've been meaning to post this one just for convenience's sake, now that we've encountered all the races. If you're ever looking for it, just remember it's in the chapter with the Roxas quote.

**Lynx**: Orange eyes, generally unusual hair colors. Known: Xemnas, Chlaxas  
**Cyborg**: Scars, cybernetic parts. Known: Xigbar  
**Squall**: Miniature wings on wrists, ankles, and back. Known: Xaldin  
**Jotun**: White skin, ice crystals at hairline and wrists. Known: Vexen, Noxe  
**Golem**: Rough, earth-like, windswept skin, physically large and strong. Known: Lexaeus  
**Lampade**: Shadows from neck down. Known: Zexion, Xurik  
**Doppleganger**: Skin that looks like porcelain, yellow eyes (mostly). Known: Saix  
**Phoenix**: Fire-like fur starting at throat, stopping at wrists and just under ribs. Known: Axel, Dlaxidan  
**Naiad**: Tiny glittering scales across cheeks, twin blue tails. Known: Demyx  
**Leprechaun**: Green-streaked hair, rainbows circling wrists (known to wear red). Known: Luxord  
**Dryad**: Uncanny loveliness, long dewy eyelashes, flower at forehead. Known: Marluxia  
**Siren**: Flickering gold feathers down back of neck and across shoulders. Known: Larxene  
**Sylph**: White horns, typically angelic in appearance. Known: Roxas


	26. Banana Pink

It was probably almost five in the morning. I was clothed and content and couldn't move, so it's probably a good thing I really didn't want to. Riku was conked out completely, head resting on my chest and hair trickling down my side. I suspected his abrupt nap had something to do with the banana, seeing as he was still pretty gung-ho until our clothes came back, but in all honesty I couldn't bring myself to care.

He stirred finally, sniffing deeply and blinking at the wall like he wasn't sure it really existed. Suddenly he was up and wide-eyed, voice still thick with exhaustion. "So—what—Sora, are you alright?! What did I do?! Oh my _god_—!"

"You." I frowned and tried to get my thoughts in order. "You. Uh. Jacked me off a little, and then…well…then you kinda tied me to the bed and gave me a blowjob," I mumbled, back with the program enough to be embarrassed by that.

He was moving for my hands before I finished, muttering curses and apologies and fumbling shakily with his own belts where they were securing my hands to the bedposts.

"Uh. Riku?"

"—_fighting it_, I _never_ meant to—what?"

"I don't think you heard me. That thing I piss out of?"

"Yeah?" he said, sounding annoyed, but I could tell it was directed at the belt he was working on.

"Was in your mouth."

He stopped, wrenching the first belt free with unnecessary force, and glared at me, eyes flashing. "Do you think I even _care_ about that?! I really could've hurt you! _Sora_—!" His voice died away there and he bowed his head suddenly, one hand fisting in his hair like he was trying to squeeze the life out of it.

I pushed myself into a sitting position with my free hand and tugged absently at the other one, frowning at him. "But that wasn't you."

"Yeah, it _was_. Only…_dammit_," he whispered, bringing his other hand up and burying his face in them. When he spoke, his voice was low and shaky. "I am _never_. _Eating_. Another _banana_. In my _life_."

I decided that was for the best. It had been Riku, yes, but it managed to feel amazing anyway—just the memory of it was enough to make me thank my lucky stars for boxers and denim. Not only that, but the two completely unexciting ideas of "Riku" and "eating banana" now seemed like the most sexual suggestion in the known universe, and I don't even have words to describe how much that freaked me out.

When I left, it was at Riku's insistence—he was nervous about being left alone with me, even though _I knew Riku_ and _that had not been him_. But it was really damned early and being tied to the bedposts had done nothing for the circulation in my hands, so I gave in without a lot of prodding and went home to collapse. It occurred to me that my parents weren't around, and I blinked sleepily at the note on my bed without really understanding what it meant, but I was too tired to care.

I woke up sometime later hearing a knock from downstairs and groaned, turning over and wishing Vexen would give up already, Xemnas wasn't opening up—and then I blinked and remembered I was home. And it was only four o'clock, whoever it was could wait until six…

The rapping came again, a little louder, and my heart sank. _Kairi._ At first, I wasn't sure why I was so devastated to realize it was her—she'd be angry with me for being gone without a word, yeah, but I st—_OH SHIT WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING DO WITH HER BOYFRIEND?!_

As much as I hated it, I had to get up and act like last night never happened. I vaulted to my feet, stumbled into my dresser—OW—straightened out my shirt so it looked less like it belonged to a hippopotamus and more like something slightly presentable, ran a brush half-heartedly through my hair because _that_ always works—oh crap, did I smell like…anything? Axe just to be sure—doorbell now, all _right_, Kairi, jeez—

"Hey K—er—Riku," I amended quickly, since that's who it was; half-dead and smelling of smoke on my porch. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Went to see Axel," he almost growled, sounding so menacing in that moment that I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Aw, man, you guys didn't—!"

"No." Riku's expression seemed to say, _Wanted to, but didn't_. "He wasn't happy about it. Apparently nobody's ever shipped bananas between Zenith and here, so he figured nothing would happen. _I_ wouldn't have taken that chance," he added sharply.

Axel's fixation on bananas had definitely moved me past the point of vexation, but for some stupid reason I couldn't be mad at him right then—in part because I was really wanting to know why Riku smelled like smoke and looked like he was about to collapse. "So how'd you get like this?" I wanted to know, stepping back to let him in. He hesitated for a moment on the front stoop before following.

"I burned the fucking bananas."

I started to laugh and couldn't stop. Then I suddenly remembered Axel setting fire to the beds back at that sleazy motel, and I was just gone.

Riku didn't find it quite as funny, though, and sank onto the couch a little uneasily, like he was visiting a stranger's house instead of mine. I wished he would relax already. "Riku," I said then, sobering up as I saw the way his eyelids hung heavily over his eyes. "Did you sleep at all?"

He didn't answer that, but he didn't have to.

"Dude…"

"I'm all right." _Yeah. Always. You could get your chest impaled and you'd still tell me you were all right, you jackass. _"And as it turns out," he began in a tone that told me he was changing the subject on purpose, "burning them's probably what Axel expected you to do in the first place." I heard something clink in his hand as he drew it out of his pocket. "This sort of…appeared…while it was…" He shook his head. "Don't ask. But this showed up."

I dropped down beside him, which made him stiffen a little (but I ignored that) and put out a hand for the thing. As he handed it to me I had a strong sense of déjà vu; I knew the shape too well, like it was an old half-remembered toy. Then I looked at it and my heart stopped.

_How did Axel get this?!_

It was a charm of some sort that I'd never seen before, made out of some type of seashell that I think shows up on our beaches during the fall—but it was _familiar_. Familiar enough for me to realize that it shouldn't have come from _Axel_, that it didn't make sense somehow…but at the same time, I understood the message he was sending without knowing how. I was probably the only one who could.

Axel was saying, _Come back_.

* * *

Riku and I were awkward around each other for the next couple of days—sometimes we'd be talking and laughing and it was like nothing happened in the first place, and other times we'd just have long silences that weren't the comfortable kind and try not to look each other in the eye. It didn't help that my parents were finally gone on that second honeymoon they'd been planning for months now (read: disappeared off the face of the earth), which I'd managed to forget about between getting infested and having Axel drag me around Zenith by the ears. Riku was therefore avoiding my house like it was carrying the bubonic plague.

The only person who made this slightly better was, of course, Kairi. I knew I was home when I joined her and Riku on the pier the next day, and I knew I was in trouble when she wanted her pirate hat and I didn't have it. "Kind of…um…ran low on budget," I mumbled in explanation. "Expensive restaurants over there."

"You know he can't cook for shit," Riku added when she started to say something (but that isn't _true_, dammit, and he can attest to that one himself).

I expected her to giggle like usual and move on, but instead she shot him a hard look and glared at me, crossing her arms in a way that was half defiant and half defensive. "You've got your secrets. I _get it_. And if you feel like you can't trust me…" She stopped short, biting her lip.

Riku winced. "Kairi, it's not—"

"_I am really_—not…" Her voice died away a second time and her eyes locked with mine. "The least you can do is let me know you're okay."

I couldn't think of anything to tell her. There wasn't a way to communicate between here and Zenith that I knew of, and if I had to go off again it'd probably be at a moment's notice just like last time. I glanced over to Riku for help, but I could tell he had just narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw—Rikuspeak for _One word about the underside and I'll strangle you with your own intestines_.

"Kairi, we're…" I hesitated, a little apprehensive even though I knew she was really talking to both of us. "We're fine, okay? And we're gonna stay fine. And I'm sorry we can't…we can't say much. Believe me when I say I wish we could, but…" I was out of things to say, and I could tell by her face that none of this was reassuring. "We'll always come back to you," I said finally, a little quieter than I meant to. And then— "I promise."

It wasn't true, and she knew that I knew it wasn't true, but it was what she needed to hear right then. Her shoulders trembled slightly, curling inward a bit in the way that meant she needed to be held. I looked to Riku, but he was watching me—and I was in no mood for hugs. She sniffed suddenly. "I-I missed you, you stupid bum…!"

"Hey, hey, shhhh…" I murmured soothingly, giving in and reaching out to her. She clung tight but not too tight, so different from the girl who'd grabbed me back before she disappeared…

Before…

It felt like Larxene had just sent several volts down my spine. Suddenly I remembered it clearly—before Xemnas explained the connections, before I met Xaldin, before I ever left with Axel…

_I connected with Kairi._

* * *

"Are you serious?"

"For the last time. _Yes_. I'm not happy about it either, but it could _be_ something. We have to check it out."

"…The _mall_."

"I know."

"_How_?"

"I _don't know_, but according to you that's where Kairi disappeared, so we might as well take a look!" Riku half-shouted finally, flinging up his arms in exasperation and nearly catching me in the nose.

It wasn't just him. We were both pretty upset for various reasons—me because we were missing pizza with Kairi for this, it was a Wednesday and I had a sudden desperate need for more strawberries in my life, and the Riku situation was not improving. Riku, on the other hand, was all pissy because Riku's just a dick like that.

"Fine, look, whatever—can we _go_?" I demanded finally, jerking open the passenger door a little too forcefully and nearly hitting the car next to us. If Riku saw this, he mercifully gave no indication, and we slammed the doors almost in unison and headed up to the mall entrance. This was _not_ how I wanted to spend my summer, particularly when I had a math packet straight from hell waiting for me at home, but with Axel and Roxas tied up at the Apex and Riku in lieu of a partner, there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it.

"It's probably _bullshit_," Riku muttered under his breath, but I heard him anyway.

"So why are we wasting our time?"

"Because if we _don't_, and it's something _big_, we're gonna end up with more _infestations_, and that'll just _suck_," he rattled off sharply, pausing here and there and clipping a few words short for emphasis. I had a feeling like this was Axel's argument and he was repeating it out of habit.

I was going to say something about it, too, but I thought suddenly of Kairi getting an infestation and all the changes and concerns and dangers and general shittiness that would cause—to say nothing of the ensuing Riku-PMS—and fell silent.

Riku took that as agreement and led us into one of the generic clothing shops, pulling out his cell phone as he did and snapping a photo. I walked at his side, just keeping an eye out and my mind firmly focused on the Keyblade in case I needed it. But Riku just kept snapping pictures, completely oblivious to the stares we were getting. "What're you _doing_?" I demanded finally. I'd hesitated out of habit—in Zenith it was always hard to tell what something meant at first, but this _wasn't Zenith_, and I couldn't seem to get that through my head.

"Looking for _Heartless_," he hissed, turning a corner sharply and snapping a photo of a coat rack. "You know those black auras you see in pictures sometimes? It means they're around. Even we can't see certain types out here until they attack us, but they show up in pictures. It's got something to do with how they move." He scanned the store a minute. "I got a wisp on the last one. It's probably nothing, but I'll look it over in case. You hit the food court and see if you can find anything—they'll stick to dark places."

" 'Kay," I said a little nervously, but it was probably a good idea to split up. Even if this was my first real encounter since the Bleeding Heartless back at the park so long ago, Riku and I were in no mood to deal with one another right then, and we'd work faster separately.

Not only that, but it was hard to feel threatened in a place I knew so well, with shoppers wandering around or lolling about on benches and mild music playing from the speakers. I headed down to the food court, took some cell pictures, and felt really stupid, but I didn't come up with anything. So I wandered around a little past Hot Topic and Waldenbooks, and spent a few minutes lingering by a toy store. Even though I don't really make use of them now, there's something sickeningly seductive about toys—a kind of misplaced desire that still surfaces whenever I spot a particularly colorful action figure or toy gun or Lego set.

But it wasn't until I was walking past Victoria Secret, deleting every picture and muttering something about the low battery, that I thought I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Just a shopper, I figured, only there wasn't anyone around. Trick of the light, I figured, and glanced over at one of the scantily clad, emaciated dummies.

My heart jumped up into my throat. _That one definitely had her back to me a second ago._ But now she was in a completely different position, turned three-quarters and shooting me a coy look over her shoulder. No, _no_—dummies do not come alive, I _had_ to be seeing things—but it was such a dramatic change! I held up a cell phone to snap a picture and noticed an older woman watching me. She gave me a disgusted look and shook her head, shepherding her children into a clothing store.

_Great. Now everybody thinks I'm a pervert._ Whatever. I snapped the picture and headed back towards Riku, trying not to hurry and casting a casual glance behind me. The dummy hadn't moved. Maybe it hadn't in the first place…? No, it definitely had, because I'd seen it when I was walking up and thought the bra straps looked weird from behind. Even so, it didn't help that there wasn't any black aura in the picture, pixilated as it was.

"Riku," I called softly, scanning the store for him. "Riku?" It took me a minute, but then I spotted him next to some puppy-speckled little girl pajamas with his back to me. As I started towards him, he looked up towards the ceiling—and the image of him standing like that called back a terrifying kind of déjà vu. I broke into a half-run and got to his side immediately. "Hey. Riku?"

"Mmm."

"Yoo-hoo."

He looked annoyed, but he dropped his eyes from whatever it was and turned them to me. "Find something?"

"This dummy girl. She had her back to me, I _swear_, but then I looked again and she kinda…didn't."

Riku crooked an eyebrow. "Picture?"

"Nothing."

He sighed, frowning at his cell. "There's definitely something here, but it's really little. I can't get it to show up more than a wisp or two, and there isn't anything obvious lurking around the slipper socks."

"Check out Victoria Secret, then?"

"You mean you didn't already?"

"Uh…"

He rolled his eyes and started off. "I'm new at this! What do you expect?" I demanded, following after. He didn't answer that, though, because we'd both come to a stop and there was a huge woman directly in our way. Riku stopped short, then made some movements like he really wanted to start walking again, and I finally let loose with an "Excuse me."

She was oblivious to all of it. Then, just when I thought she wasn't going to move at all, she started backing up out of the way at a truly glacial pace. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and realized Riku was smirking. After a second, he noticed me noticing and leaned in close, making a high pitched beeping noise like a truck backing up. I chuckled and shoved him playfully. "You're _mean_!"

"You love me anyway," he said simply, shoving me back, and for some really stupid reason that made everything get really intense for a few seconds. Then I caught up with him, shooting a quick glance at his face—he didn't seem too pissed anymore, and my own anger was dissipating, so I figured we were back to normal.

That changed when we got to the dummy. She hadn't moved since I left, and I was starting to doubt myself even more. "Lemme see the picture," Riku said, and I passed him my cell. He scrutinized it a minute. "How long did you wait after you thought you saw it move?"

"Um…" _Crap. That lady distracted me._ "Only about a minute."

"Too late to tell," he said, passing it back to me, and grimaced at the entrance to Victoria Secret. "Are you _sure_ it was _definitely_ different before?"

"_Yes_!" I half-shouted, feeling a burst of indignant fury. "It had its back to me, I _know_ it did! Why don't you ever just believe me?!"

He gave me a bewildered look, but just then there was a scream from inside the store. "It _moved_!" a hysterical old woman worker was shouting, pointing an accusing finger at another dummy. "It moved _again_! I'm _telling_ you—!"

"Calm down, Naira, we've been over this…"

I glared at Riku and jerked my head in her direction. He relented with a roll of his eyes. "All right. Let's go."

Once we were inside, I understood Riku's reluctance a little better. It was _really_ awkward to be two guys with bright red and blue kits walking around a women's lingerie store, taking pictures and comparing. "Do we always have to do this?" I asked irritably, trying not to look directly at the woman behind the counter.

"No. When Axel and Roxas are around, they can actually smell the things," Riku explained, catching an extremely revealing lingerie set and squinting. "Not as well as Zexion, but…Got something."

He tilted the phone towards me and I leaned in to see—

And something happened that I couldn't explain.

The phone disappeared right in front of my eyes. "What the—?! Well that's weird, we've definitely…" My voice died away when I looked back toward him. "Riku? Riku!"

There wasn't anyone there.

"_Riku_! Where are you?!" Somehow it even scared me to hear my own voice like that, all high-pitched and panicked. All I could do was look helplessly around the store for him, like he'd just come walking out of one of the changing rooms in a bra and thong. Just like when he'd been hurt in the underside and I'd been so far away, I was completely at a loss for somewhere to direct the completely overwhelming urgency I felt.

Something else woke up inside me then, something born of desperation and bolstered with determination. _I'll find him. I don't care if I have to search the whole mall, the town, the country, the WORLD—I am going to fucking FIND HIM._

Find him I did. I almost got myself thrown out of the mall first, though, running from store to store calling his name. It wasn't until I got to Hannah Pink that I spotted him, collapsed on the floor like someone had tripped him. "Riku! You okay?" I said, moving towards him—and suddenly there was a dummy in my way. A headless, scantily clad dummy, crouched in a defensive position.

I was so surprised by the existence of the dummy and focused on getting to Riku that it took me a minute to realize I was completely trapped on all sides, both by the clothing aisle and the other dummy that had come up behind me. "What the _fuck_—!" And then I had the Keyblade out a second too late. The first dummy had flung her…er, _it_self at me, knocking me almost into a rack of clothes and going immediately for my throat. I was too late to stop it, clawing at those cold white fingers just like they do in the movies and just as fruitlessly—they were like _adamantine_. I couldn't breathe, I absolutely _couldn't_—and if I couldn't get its hands off me, its body was just out of the question—everything was already starting to go dark, I couldn't tell if Riku was up and moving yet or not but I reached for him, and—

That's when the world faded away above me.

_

* * *

_

_I knew I'd find you snoozing down here._

But I wasn't snoozing, I was awake now, and Riku was collapsed somewhere nearby. When I turned to look at him, he was on his hands and knees, and his lips moved but I couldn't hear him—I knew what he wanted, though, so I pulled him to his feet and walked him down towards the water's edge, feeling him smile more than seeing it. Before we got there, though, something happened…there was some sort of door up ahead, but not the door I expected to see. Darker, and it looked locked.

We can't go through it, Riku whispered. Only one of us will fit.

I was already moving, though, halfway across the water now—was I walking on it or through it? I couldn't tell—and I turned around just in time to see him disappear.

Something hit me hard in the back of the head and I was awake—_really_ awake now, with my arms and head aching alike. I was in some sort of closet, and apparently someone had tied my hands to the bar above me. Not that it mattered now, since I sort of yanked it down on top of me when I jerked awake.

"What the f…" _Ow_. I was really hurting. _Wait a minute…Riku! What happened to him?!_ "Hello?" I called into the darkness, trying without much success to wrench my hands free of the rope. "Is anyone there?"

There was someone shuffling around nearby, it sounded like, but the door was closed and I couldn't see out into the store. "_Hello_? Riku? _Somebody_!"

"Sora?"

"Kairi!" I realized with a flash of relief, and tugged again at the ropes. The bar was stuck against the walls now, though, and I couldn't get out. Finally the door opened, and I almost got blinded by the light that shone through.

_Wait, she's here with…_

"Oh, sorry—" It moved and I could see her, looking a bit spooked and alone and clutching the flashlight like she intended to hit someone with it. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Dummies," I said, trying to squirm out of the ropes now. "Little help?"

She hesitated. "Dummies. Right."

"I'll explain later. What're you doing out here so late?" I wanted to know when she got closer, realizing several hours must have passed for the store to be dark and Kairi to be breaking in with a flashlight.

"I, uh." She paused in the middle of undoing the knot, looking for a moment like she was going to lie—she doesn't do it much, but I can tell when she does—and then sighed. "Something…something happened to me out here, didn't it?"

"Um." It was my turn to drop my gaze from hers.

"Because I remember," she said, finally freeing the rest of the ropes and standing back while I rubbed my wrists back into feeling. "Something…bad. And there was…" She stopped dead for a second. "This is going to sound so stupid."

"It can't possibly be stupider than getting kidnapped by a mall dummy."

"…Is that really what happened? Or—"

"Kinda, yeah."

She stared at me for a minute, but then sighed, biting her lip. "That…doesn't surprise me as much as it should, really. I've been having dreams about…whatever it was that happened out here. It's not very clear, but…I remember…"

I shifted uncomfortably, anxious to find Riku but hesitant to let this go in case it was something important. "What?" I asked finally, and she looked to one side with an almost frustrated sound.

"I don't know how to explain it! There wasn't anyone else, right? You, me, and Riku. That's it."

A weight dropped in my stomach. "You…remember someone else?"

She sighed brokenly. "Yeah. Someone who…who meant a lot to me. I thought if I came back…"

It took a lot not to press for details, but I put my hands on her shoulders anyway. "Listen. I remember that person too, and…I'm not sure if there's really anything we can do about them now. But we'll have to talk about this later. Have you seen Riku?"

"You d—?" Her voice died away at that question and she frowned. "Not since this morning. Did something happen to him?"

The butterflies in my stomach got even wilder. "I—yeah, something—I don't know. But you can't stay here, it's not safe. Lemme get you out and I'll find him, okay?"

She was starting to protest before I was even done, blue eyes wide with horror. "But—hold on—wait a minute, I'm not going anywhere!"

"Kairi, _please_—!"

"_No_! If Riku's trapped in here like I w—!"

"You'll only get in the way!"

She recoiled at that and I immediately regretted saying it. There was an awkward silence, her eyes boring holes in my face while I tried not to look at her—but I wasn't taking it _back_, dammit, it was true—and I was wasting time.

"Listen," she said finally, almost softly enough to make that impossible. "I'm lost, Sora. I really am. I don't know what's going on anymore, and it feels like I'm…it feels like I'm losing you. Both of you."

I let out a sigh that felt like collapsing. "Kairi, I wouldn't know how to _begin_ to explain what's been—"

"Then don't," she said firmly, her eyes intent now. "I don't care about that. But take me with you. For once, Sora."

Silence.

"I want to find him, too. _Please_."

Everything in me was rebelling. She didn't know what she was getting into—it was bad enough that she was out here in the first place—when Riku found out there'd be hell to pay—but if it wasn't for her I'd still be pretty much stuck. "…Alright. But stay close to me, and if I say it, do it. Got me?" Damn. I really _had_ been hanging around Axel too long.

She nodded, looking relieved. "Fine."

I wasn't keen on losing her, either. "Give me your hand."

She did, and I called the Keyblade with my other one, taking us out into the mall again. "Keep the flashlight on what's in front of us," I murmured behind me, and waited a minute. "Kairi?"

"Oh. Um. Yeah." The beam bounced in front of us, skittering over clothing racks and several empty stands. There wasn't a dummy in sight, and I wasn't sure what to think about that. "What exactly _is_ that?"

"Is what?" I demanded, immediately on alert.

"That thing you're holding."

I glanced down in case the Keyblade had gotten replaced with something else, and finally realized that's what Kairi meant. "Oh. It's a Keyblade."

"…Okay."

"I know."

"You must. A lot more than I do, anyway, or some of this would make sense," she said a bit testily.

"You have no idea just how wrong you are about that. Shhh!" I hissed suddenly, hearing a rustle from near the front of the store. "Over there, shine it…"

Nothing. Just a rack of shirts and a stand with some folded sweaters.

"Alright, let's hit the place I saw him last," I said then, finally realizing this was still Hannah Pink where I'd found him.

"You guys were together, right? How'd you get separated?"

"If it'd help us find him, I wish I knew. Down there, see if there's anything…" But I didn't bother to finish the sentence, since with just a swipe of the flashlight Kairi had already eliminated all possibility of Riku still being there. But she didn't leave it at that—she went back over it a few times, and we both looked the floor over for any sign, but there was nothing to indicate that Riku or _anyone_ had been lying there earlier. In fact, the way the dust looked, that section of floor hadn't been disturbed in some time.

"Riku?" Kairi called once, casting the light around the rest of the store. "Seems like we would've run into him by now…"

"They might've locked him up somewhere, too," I pointed out. "Let's check the changing rooms, storage rooms, whatever they got around—"

I heard the _very_ last sound in the world I needed to hear.

An ominous hissing from not far away.

_Oh my god._

"What was that?" Kairi whispered, but I didn't bother answering. Instead I just gripped her hand tighter and took off, practically dragging her behind me until she caught on and really started moving. We tore out of Hannah Pink, sneakers pounding against the tile and the flashlight's beam bouncing chaotically along the ground in front of us. I couldn't hear if anything was chasing us above the sound of panting and running, but I still didn't stop until we were halfway through Dillard's, glancing down the hallway after us. Kairi took the hint and shone the flashlight down that way, then ahead of us. "Are we okay? What happened?"

"I heard—I—there was…" I was too panicked to make much sense for a moment. "There's something really terrible back there. I mean, you don't even…"

Her eyes were wide. "That bad? It bites or something?"

"Uh, no. It kills."

Her voice got very soft and very high. "Oh."

She was standing very close to me, small hand in mine and soft hair not far from my cheek, and somewhere in the back of my mind it occurred to me that—Riku's girlfriend or no—I was supposed to find this _attractive_. But all I could focus on was _Riku_. Where the hell was he, and did he know there was a fucking _Lynx Heartless_ in the building?!

I really didn't want to think about what might have happened if Kairi hadn't found me when she did, and now my stomach churned at the idea of Riku still locked up back there somewhere. _Maybe we distracted it?_ I wondered hopefully, though that wasn't much better. Either way somebody could easily get torn to shreds, and I was probably even _overreacting_ after the way Riku'd described the one in the underside—which wouldn't help in a fight.

"Kairi."

"Yeah?"

"This just got a hell of a lot more dangerous. I'm gonna get you out first, and then…" _Riku_.

I bit my lip, silent for a minute, but I didn't realize she'd been watching me until she started talking. "No. If I'm really in the way, put me somewhere, but we…but you don't have time to be heading all the way out and back."

_…Damn. She's right._ "Okay, just…hide under there," I said, pointing to a rack of clothes. "Watch out for dummies. I'm serious. And if you hear me start screaming, _get out_."

She balked. "Screaming?"

"I'm going after Riku," I told her simply, starting back towards Hannah Pink. "I'll come back to you."

"You can't promise that," she said faintly, and I glanced back to see that she was trembling. "This…this is a lot more serious than I thought."

"…Yeah," I almost whispered. It was probably more serious than _I_ realized, even with my heart pounding and my palms sweating to the point that holding the Keyblade was uncomfortable. "Hide, okay?"

"Be careful," she called after me, and then I was out of range of both her and the skylights.

_Dammit. I should've grabbed the flashlight,_ I thought, but if I ended up dead it wouldn't do her any good not to have it. It surprised me to think that I was already trying to ensure her safety after my own death, but at the same time the whole notion of it wasn't very real to me. "I could still use some stupid _light_," I muttered, trying to take my mind off the whole situation, and suddenly a brilliant glow lit up the business end of the Keyblade. With my nerves already tense from the Lynx thing, it startled me almost to the point of dropping it, but I managed not to and grinned. _This thing comes in handy._

Though it would be a lot handier if it came with Heartless repellent. The deserted mall looked a lot scarier than it really should have in the darkness, and there were too many shadows to make sure the room was clear. Not to mention the Lynx Heartless was probably invisible, which just wasn't fucking fair at all.

Footsteps echoed behind me, and I whirled in time to see—not Riku or Kairi, but _another_ fucking dummy attacking from behind. This one was less dangerous, though, with arms that ended at the elbow—_ahah_, no, those things _hurt_ when they slam into you. "_Bitch_!" I shouted, more to blow off steam than anything else. It made me think of Larxene, and that made beating the dummy into an unrecognizable mass of chipped plaster so much easier. Two others came after it, both plastic, and I really wished Axel was around to melt them.

But I got through them okay, even though one of them threw me against the ground hard enough to make me see stars, and braced myself for more. After a while, I figured that was the end of it for now, and took a wary step toward Hannah Pink. "Riku?" I called, hoping to catch him if he was up and moving and warn him about the Heartless. "Riku! You around?"

At first I didn't hear anything, and then I wasn't sure if it was real or I was imagining it—but there were noises coming from the other direction, towards Waldenbooks. I waited a moment, not sure whether to pursue it or not, and listened to a resounding crash, a faint shout that sounded like a war cry, and then a pained scream that was unmistakably Riku's.

"_Riku_!" I called in answer, running in that direction—maybe Kairi heard that, maybe she was already there—but then she'd be in danger too, I needed to _be there_—

And then I was screaming and hitting the floor, something burning and bleeding and _broken_ in my chest. I didn't have time to get up before it was hitting me again, pain lighting up like a firecracker all over and going well past my threshold in seconds—but crying _hurt_, salt in the wounds already—and then I _couldn't_ cry, somehow, everything had gone dark— "_A-anngh—n—NO—_!" It had gotten my _eyes_! Had it seriously…it couldn't have…

I barely heard the hissing over my own dry, tearless sobs, helpless to stop them even though they hurt even more than crying ever should. I wanted to touch my face, make sure—make it not true—but I wasn't sure if I could move, the smell of iron was everywhere…

"Hey!"

_Kairi?_

"H-hey _fucker_! I'm over _here_!"

_What?! NO! Kairi, you CAN'T!_

But she _was_, and I heard it moving for her already. I heard her scream and my heart sank, but she was running—that was good, it hadn't taken her down, whatever happened—

_Where's Riku?_ I wondered helplessly, trying to get up—but it hurt just to _be_, it was useless—and I couldn't help thinking that the next time I saw him I could say, "I've been there, too." _Not if I die here…dammit, where IS he?! Is he okay? Somebody's gotta protect Kairi and…Kairi and…_

"You alive?"

I struggled to lift my head. The voice was definitely familiar, but for some reason I wasn't connecting it to the person. "W…what?"

"God…_damn._ He got you good."

_Larxene._ What was she here for? What was she going to do? It wasn't like we got along, she could just leave me here if she wanted… "Lar…I n-need…help…"

"I know," she was already saying from a lot closer, and I suddenly realized that the reason why I didn't recognize her voice earlier was because it was taut with concern. "I'm on it. This is gonna hurt." Hurt it did, but she was pulling my arms around her neck and tucking her hands under my legs. I couldn't help whimpering as she rose, feeling something shift inside and wondering just how deep those cuts went. "You're gonna be fine," she said as if she knew—but this wasn't Zenith, she couldn't read my mind. "It'll be okay. Just hang on. Hang on for me, Sora."

_Stay with me._

* * *

Author's Note: … (cough)

So I totally didn't intend for things to happen this way and I think we're back on track. First I got caught up in roleplaying, and then 358/2 Days happened, so maybe you can kinda see where I'm coming from—even though that's seriously no excuse. But Days et al have helped the plot bunny get back on its feet so things should go a lot more smoothly now. I'm still gonna be pushing the deadline to every two weeks until I get farther along up ahead, but hopefully I'll soon be able to stick to my original design of updating every strawberry day. :3


	27. Attack of the Mall II: The Rapening

I'm really not sure if I blacked out or not. Everything was dark, obviously—but sounds seemed to come in and out. I thought I heard Xemnas talking, silence for a while, then Kairi nearby saying that no, she didn't feel like going to the play island today, but that must have been a dream.

"…eyes gonna be okay?"

"Squits would be better but we don't have time…"

_Sora?_

"No no, don't move…"

I reached for the hand that had just curled around my shoulder. "Rik…?"

"I'm here. I'm here. You…you're gonna be fine."

Where had he _been_? "You okay?" I half-croaked, aware that I was on a floor now with what felt like an arm around my shoulders—I still couldn't see, but I could feel myself blinking, so they must have used healing agents.

"_Me_?" Riku groaned. "_So_ra…"

"You—you were _gone_…" My vision was coming back now and I could see him flickering into being above me, aquamarine eyes concerned. "…took you? What _happened_…"

He shook his head once, silver brows drawing together. "Sora, I didn't go anywhere. I don't…you disappeared or something. Did they grab you?"

No—_no_, that wasn't right—I shook my head weakly, making a low, frustrated noise.

"All right, just—just relax, don't strain yourself." He shifted and it felt like he was going to move away, and dammit—I don't know _why_, but for some reason that made me pull closer and make a sound like a pained gasp. "I'm here," he whispered simply.

We were silent for a few moments. I was just trying to see again and get used to the idea—_again_—that Riku was alive and well. Then I remembered something that sent shards of ice through my veins. "Kairi! Oh god—did you see her? Did she come by? Where…" I hesitated, looking around in surprise at the blackness. "Where are we?"

Riku balked. "Kairi's here?!"

"She was looking for information on what happened with her here before," I told him, letting him help me up. "Er. I mean. At the mall. And there's a _Lynx Heartless_ after her! Where _is this_?" I demanded anxiously, gesturing at the void around us.

"We're safe. This is just an illusion. Zexion!" Riku called, and the darkness fell away around us to reveal the rest of the Organization standing at attention around us. It was a different thing to see all of them _human_, without the distinctions they picked up from Zenith—and more than a little overwhelming to see them all wearing that same black leather cloak. "Sora says the Lynx Heartless went after Kairi," Riku said, speaking mainly to Axel.

"She was trying to distract it from _me_, and…!" I couldn't begin to say everything I feared right then. _This can't be happening. With Riku it's bad enough, Kairi doesn't stand a chance…_

Marluxia looked to Xemnas, his eyes apologetic but strained. "Do we have time for—?"

"We're gonna have to _make_ time," Xigbar said firmly. "We got a Lynx Heartless out there. Even if that was a job for the Service, we don't have enough of them on the field to deal with it."

Luxord's jaw tightened slightly. "As little love as I have for the Heartless, this world does _not_ concern us as much as—"

"And _that's_ the kind of thinking that got this war started in the first place!" Axel half-shouted suddenly.

"_Stop_ fighting you _fucking_ morons!" Larxene thundered in answer, getting in the middle of it and holding up her hands even as everyone around us moved inward. "Save the girl or not, _doesn't matter_. But the last thing we need is that Heartless targeting somebody important! Plus we're gonna need to fight our way through no matter how you look at it, so could we stop whining and just get on with it already?! The whole _fucking_ Apex is here, yeah—a Lynx Heartless is a real _problem_," she sneered, eyes narrowing spitefully.

"Eloquent as always," Marluxia remarked lightly.

Xemnas waited a moment, casting a slow, deliberate gaze around at the other members to ensure there wasn't going to be another outcry, and crooked an eyebrow. "Shall we?"

There was a murmur of agreement.

"I'll head Gold Team and go east; Blue Team take Sora and Riku and head west. Meet back here in an hour. Clear?"

Roxas looked a little alarmed as the whole Organization split neatly in half, with one group following Xemnas while the rest stayed near us. "Uh—which—?"

"You're with us," Axel told him, waving him away from Xemnas. "Keep forgetting how little you know…"

"It's been a while since we've had to conduct an operation on this scale," Marluxia pointed out, moving towards the front. Even half the group was a little overwhelming, and I didn't recognize people with those cloaks—it seemed like there were even more of them than there actually were, which was probably the point.

Riku, I noticed, was glancing around at them too. "Xemnas didn't take Vexen with him," he murmured.

"That's because he doesn't expect to find anyone alive," Axel muttered as he passed, heading more towards the front.

"Let's move. Are you two able to walk?" Xaldin wanted to know, apparently taking the lead in Xemnas's absence.

"Uh…" I started forward gingerly, still leaning heavily on Riku.

He made a faint, frustrated noise. "More or less."

"Shield them," Xaldin ordered, almost cutting him off, and the others quickly moved to surround us instead as we started off.

"Sorry I'm not _perfect_," I couldn't help snapping.

"I'm mad at _it_, not you."

"Whatever."

"You scared me to death, Sora," he said sharply. "And…I'm…not even sure you're really okay."

I think I was about to say something really angry and stupid back, but instead I just gave him a flat, direct look. "Welcome to _my_ world," I grumbled finally, and tried to focus on not falling.

I got better as we went along—the healing agents were probably still working a little—and by the time we got near the food court I was mostly back to normal. But _god_ did it feel weird walking around the mall surrounded by a bunch of guys in cloaks, with nobody making a sound and everyone looking all tense and serious as we walked past cell phone booths and bubble gum dispensers. Axel and Roxas were with us, of course, and Xaldin, Vexen, Zexion, and Marluxia. Axel was apparently the one in charge of the light, even though I think he vocalized once that it was really Roxas's job, but Roxas either didn't hear him or didn't care. People were starting to relax, even though Riku and I were still watching and listening intently for any sign of Kairi—and suddenly there was a crash and a series of tinkles; definitely shards of glass. Something had broken a window somewhere.

"Kairi!" I was calling before I even thought about it, and then tasted salt with Riku's hand hard around my jaw.

"Keep it _down_," he growled into my ear—which is when I realized there was the overwhelming possibility that it wasn't her. It could very easily be the dummies again, or worse.

The others around us immediately tensed, drawing inward. "From the back!" Zexion shouted suddenly, and Riku and I both whirled to see the glint of a scythe illuminated by a blast of fire that meant Marluxia and Axel already had things under control. "What type?" Axel demanded, even though it looked like the thing was down.

"Gnome," Zexion replied. "But that's not all. There are Doppleganger Heartless around…"

"Oh _shit_," Riku muttered.

"Do we have to do that…question thing?" I asked, already trying to think of some. Anything that would make this go faster.

Axel chuckled. "Nah, no worries. They can only possess inanimate objects."

"The dummies!" I realized, and jostled Riku. "You _see_? I _told_ you!"

"Yeah, yeah." He frowned. "Is that what grabbed you? You were there one minute and then, just…gone."

What?! "No, that's what happened to _you_! Remember? You thought you'd found something in Victoria Secret and then you just vanished!"

He was shooting me an incredulous look, and finally he shook his head. "No—_Sora_, we talked to that Naira person, remember? She said there was also something weird at Gamestop, and you said we should check it out, like you _would_. We'd just got in when you disappeared," he added, his voice slightly softer than usual. "Why do you think I ran and got these guys?"

No—no—no—no—_no_! It hadn't happened that way at all! "That's not…that isn't what I—!"

"What exactly happened to you?" Axel asked then, one hand on his hip and the other at his chin.

"Axel, we don't have—"

"This could be important," he said sharply, holding up a hand to stop Marluxia.

I was suddenly aware of all the eyes on me and a little self-conscious. "Well—Riku just…just fucking _disappeared_, so I looked all over for him. Turns out he was in Hannah Pink, passed out or something—I figured the dummies had dragged him there, since they attacked after that, and…" I shrugged one shoulder a little forlornly. "But if that didn't happen…"

"Sounds like an illusion," Vexen murmured. "There may be an Ephemeral Heartless involved…"

"This place is just _bursting_ with fun," Axel muttered bitterly.

"But there is no known Heartless capable of rerouting memories," Zexion interrupted suddenly. "Sora should have remembered what really happened, even if it seemed like the reverse for him."

"Unless the Sora who went there with Riku was an illusion," Xaldin mused.

"I'm not that clumsy," Riku said sharply. "I would've noticed his eyes. Besides, it was _him_."

"Then there's no way this one's a fake…" Axel frowned. "Unless he's a substitution, but we'd know by now."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "_Fraggles_."

"Yeah no he's the real deal."

Vexen took a step forward. "Hold still," he ordered sharply, tilting my head briefly to get a better look at what I think was my ears. I couldn't help squirming a little—his hands were like _ice_. "If there was an Ephemeral Heartless, it's gone," he reported when he let go. "Perhaps the memory lapse was an averse reaction to its absorption?"

I blinked. "I absorbed it?"

"Don't worry about it," Riku said dismissively, waving a hand. "You're all still you. The things just can't survive around other beings somehow."

"Upside down osmosis," Axel volunteered.

My brain was not up for this right now. "I'll take your word for it."

"Area seems clear," Zexion said finally, moving towards the front again. "There's something farther down this way, but I can't tell what it is yet."

"Hold on, where's Roxas?" Riku asked suddenly. "Wasn't he just here?"

"That little _idiot_," Axel hissed, glancing around at the others. "Where is he off to _now_?"

"Any chance he smelled the thing too and already went after it?" I suggested. It seemed like the kind of thing Roxas would do. Well, more the kind of thing Riku would do, if he could.

"No," Axel said.

"He may have," Vexen said.

"He _didn't_," Axel insisted.

"He can't have gone far," Xaldin said simply, hefting what I realized was a lance and moving forward again. "He'll catch up. Even if he doesn't, he still has a fighting chance. The girl doesn't. Let's keep moving."

Axel crossed his arms and leaned against a nearby wall, eyes still wandering over the mall around us. "I'll be right here."

Xaldin took a menacing step toward him. "Roxas is expendable," he practically growled. "_You_ are not. You're coming with us if I have to _dismantle_ you to make it happen." Beside him, Vexen rolled his eyes and Zexion pinched the bridge of his nose.

On the other hand, the Phoenix's eyes glittered. "Bring it."

Xaldin must have brought it, but I sure didn't see it happen. All I knew was that one minute the lance was in his hand and the next it was buried in the wall next to Axel's head. Axel hadn't flinched, but his eyes were wide. "Don't test my patience, Eight."

There was a silence.

Finally Xaldin must have seen something like agreement in Axel's eyes because he barked an order and we started moving again. Axel didn't at first, glaring at Xaldin's back, but he eventually fell into step with us, glancing over his shoulder from time to time.

We spent an eternity looking—an eternity that was ultimately too short, because it seemed like only too soon before we were heading back towards the center of the mall again to meet up with the others. There were occasional attacks from dummies on the way back, and I think another Gnome Heartless or two, but the others were _fast_ and got to them before Riku or I even realized they were there. "They've got the scent thing, it's not fair," Riku commented once.

"It's not a competition," I told him, but I don't think he agreed with that.

"Has anybody seen Roxas?" was Axel's first question when we met up with Gold Team again. "He ran off somewhere."

"Unfortunately, no," Xemnas reported. "Nor any sign of the Lynx Heartless. It's possible it's become dormant or left the building entirely."

"Can we take that chance?" Zexion wanted to know.

"_HELP_!"

"_KAIRI_!"

I don't know who shouted it, but Riku was already gone and I was hot on his heels, pulling up next to him just as we turned the corner and skidded to a stop in shock and alarm.

Kairi was on the ground, clutching her side, and I had to do a double take to realize that Roxas was standing in front of her with his arms out to either side. There were two parallel slashes on his cheek and a bead of sweat was running down the side of his face, his forehead furrowed in concentration.

"Where is it?" Riku demanded, Keyblade in hand.

Roxas made a frustrated, almost pained noise from between gritted teeth. "Wait…just…"

"Roxas! Oh _hell_ no!" Axel shouted when he got to us, and immediately a fire-laced chakram was headed for what looked like empty space.

"Axel _n_—!"

There was an ear-piercing, unnatural screech, and reality seemed to flicker in that corner, distorting for a moment into something crouched and furred over. Then it was invisible again and moving—deep slashes appeared on the wall as it sprung off the side to attack Axel, claws screaming against metal when he defended. Riku and I were already moving even though I didn't know what exactly to hit; all I knew was that Axel let out a pained yell and I had to keep that from happening again. In the next second it was Riku screaming and hitting the wall, and then the rest of the Organization was there, Demyx shouting for me to get back as water, ice, earth, and another seven or so elements got unleashed against the Heartless. It was during that cacophony of attacks that I heard another scream, this time from Kairi—she was too close to the blast zone, I realized in horror, but when I looked around for her all I could see was some kind of earthen shell that had grown over the corner where she'd been crouched.

That's when Xemnas took the lead and…I don't know how to describe what happened, but he killed that thing. There wasn't much left of it either, as I got to see when things calmed down—just a lump of skin there, blackened fur there, some wet things that might have been organs, and what looked like a black bloodstain.

Once I was sure it was dead, other priorities took over. "Riku," I got out, bending beside him. "Can you hear me? You okay?"

"Y—I—y-yeah," he breathed, starting to sit up and nodding fervently. "It didn't get me bad, check Axel, is he okay…"

"You are fucking _crazy_," I muttered, pulling out the necessary healing agents. I could see that Axel was already getting back to his feet, and Riku had a gash the size of the San Andreas fault in his side. As it started to knit closed I looked around for Kairi, and found her in Lexaeus's arms with Vexen's hand on her head.

"She's fine," Saix told me just as I started to agonize about whether to leave Riku's side or let them deal with it. "It had just gotten to her when Roxas intervened."

"What the hell was he thinking?" I asked more for the sake of asking it.

"Axel's trying to find that out now," he said, nodding toward where the two of them were arguing.

I looked back at Riku, making sure the gash was completely closed. "You alright?"

He nodded, looking aggravated, and waved an impatient hand. "S…stim…"

I was quick to comply, passing him some stimulants and helping him to his feet when he reached out again. "Xemnas got it, then?" he asked, wincing a little as he put weight on his left leg.

"Yeah. You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. It'll just take a minute." He looked towards Kairi, who was standing now too, and her eyes met his right on cue. In another minute she was running, and then she was in his arms, her hands fisting in his shirt and his face buried in her hair. I was moving before I even stopped to think, latching onto them and feeling their arms open for me, and turned us into a huddle of bitter laughs, almost sobs, and little sounds that couldn't decide on an emotion. But when I finally drew away they still clung to one another.

Feeling a pang of something close to jealousy, I shot a grin their way. "Glad to see you're okay, Kairi. I'm gonna go check on Roxas, all right?"

"Don't forget to thank him," Riku said simply.

"Yeah." I headed away from them, passing about five Organization members having an intense debate and two more who seemed to be having either a battle of wills or a staring contest. It didn't make sense to me that I should be _jealous_, I wasn't even really attracted to Kairi. Maybe it wasn't Kairi, though—maybe it was just the whole idea of having a girlfriend. But it didn't seem like I was jealous of _him_…

Was I jealous of _Kairi_ over _Riku_?

That just didn't make _sense_!

_How backwards can you get?_ I wondered sourly as I reached Axel—and then another emotion raised its head. This one was much more familiar; anxiety, desperation, and sorrow. Someone was missing…was it the person missing from my life now? No! How had they gone? _When_? How could I have missed out on that?!

"Riku okay?" Axel wanted to know, and it took me a second to snap back into reality.

"Uh…yeah, he's…" I nodded back toward where he and Kairi seemed to be talking in low tones. "How's Roxas?"

"He won't talk to me," he said, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Keeps saying I wouldn't _understand_. Well how can I if he won't tell me anything?!"

"I'll talk to him," I told him, setting a placating hand on his shoulder as I passed.

Axel looked like he was about to stop me, but instead he just sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

Roxas looked unusually small in the cloak instead of the other clothes he'd picked up lately, and at first he wouldn't even look at me. I opened my mouth, but then it seemed like I wasn't sure what to tell him, so I just kind of sighed and watched him a minute. "Axel's worried," I said finally.

There was another silence. "He'd be…even more worried, if he knew."

"Knew what?"

Roxas finally turned around, his eyes unusually dark and fierce. "I don't—I don't know how to explain what just happened," he said in a voice that couldn't seem to decide between a shout and a mutter. "And I don't know why I'm telling you, but…somebody has to know, and Axel'll just…"

"I won't tell him. I promise."

The blond let out a tense sigh, not relaxing just yet. "Something told me where she was, told me to come here, and…when I encountered that Heartless, I…" He rubbed his temples. "The same thing happened on the underside with Riku. That—that thing, I could—_I could talk to it_."

I stared at him. "The Heartless?"

The Sylph shot me a derisive look. "No, the _upholstery_." He turned away again, shaking his head and putting his hands on his hips in a way that reminded me of Axel. "I don't get…it was like I was…_connecting_ with it, almost."

A finger of cold went down my spine.

"I was almost there, I thought…I thought I could convince it to stop attacking, if Axel hadn't…" His mouth worked soundlessly for a moment, and then his eyes met mine again. "They're scared of us, Sora. They're scared to _death_ of us."

* * *

The Organization dispersed after that, disappearing like shadows back to the play island—but not before they carried out Xemnas's order of "Make this go away." By the time Riku, Kairi, and I came out of the mall again, there was no sign a Heartless had ever been there. The only things they really couldn't replace were the dummies, I think Xemnas said that would take too long—but Axel and Lexaeus got together to do something about the one broken store window, and I think Demyx took care of most of the blood. They also had to fix a few things Kairi had broken in her escape from the Lynx Heartless, such as the elevator; she'd holed up there for most of the hour we'd been looking for her. The deep slashes and distortions in the metal doors were enough to tell that story, and the broken window was still spattered with blood, but the healing agents had taken care of all the minor injuries, too.

Lying to Axel wasn't fun, but I ultimately had to tell him that I just couldn't get anything out of Roxas either. No way was I breaking my promise, and I knew like Roxas did that Axel would probably take it too seriously. Not that I was even sure how serious it was in the first place. The fact that Roxas could connect with the Heartless probably had something to do with how I was connecting with Zenithians—but I'd also connected with Kairi, and maybe Riku. Whatever it was, it was definitely something to bring up with Xemnas, after everything he and I'd already discussed. He'd know what to do.

The three of us walked in silence once the Organization was gone, Kairi's arm locked around Riku's waist and his about her shoulders while I walked on his other side. A strange glumness had settled over us, along with the dread of exploring it. It was like someone had actually died, except no one had.

Riku suddenly turned his head sharply. "You cold?" he asked her in a low voice.

"No…"

Kairi's voice was thick with tears, and that made us both stop. "What's wrong?"

"You _know_ what," she got out, cupping her hands around her nose and mouth. "There's…there's something really wrong here. Something's happened."

"But we're all safe," I reminded her. "We all got out okay, even the whole Organization."

"Then why do I feel like this?" she asked almost plaintively, meeting my eyes. "Something…something is supposed to be here that _isn't_, and…"

I looked to Riku quickly when I saw his shoulders slump. "She's right," he murmured, his eyes distant. "We lost something back there."

"Some_one_," I corrected, feeling a deep pang in my chest even as I said it. The anxiety and desperation were back, but tinged with an awful hopelessness. There was a long silence, broken only when Riku gently nudged Kairi back into walking, and we headed down to the cars without saying anything for what seemed like forever. I was just lost in thought, barely registering the familiar Mercury ahead—if this was the point at which that stranger had disappeared, was this when all trace of them had gotten erased? And in that case, why did I just feel like someone was missing? I didn't remember anything specific, but when Kairi vanished, Riku'd had _no_ idea that anything was wrong. Maybe this wasn't the point, then, but we had to be coming up on it soon—and I still couldn't figure out how I was thinking this in the _past_ if they disappeared in the _future_. None of this made any sense, and it seemed like I'd be used to it by now—but it was someone who had a deep effect on me, one way or another, and I deserved a better explanation for what happened to them.

By the time we got back into the car, it was like nothing'd happened. We were all sort of aware of the sense of something missing, as well as the notion that if something had gone wrong, Kairi wouldn't be in the car with us; but we didn't focus on that. It made things feel less than normal, and all we needed at the time was normalcy—even if Kairi hugged me more tightly than usual when we dropped her off and looked more disappointed than I've seen her in a while when Riku turned down her offer to stay the night.

"I have to break up with Kairi."

I turned to stare at him. It had only been about a minute since we left her house, and already he was talking about altering the fabric of reality. "_What_?!"

Riku didn't look at me. His eyes were locked on the road, occasionally glowing red or green when the lights hit them, and he sighed, crooking an elbow against the door to run a hand through his hair and then leaning his cheek against his knuckle. "She could have gotten hurt," he said finally. "She really could've died, Sora."

"So could you," I pointed out. "But you don't see me deciding not to be your best friend anymore."

"That's different."

"I don't see it that way."

"Because y—because _we_…" Riku pivoted a finger back and forth between us. "…_don't_. Plus, Kairi's not cut out for combat. The closer she is to both of us, the more danger she's in."

I fell silent, hurt without completely knowing why. "She could…like the person we can't remember," I said finally, trying to pin a more definite reason on it. We'd _lost_ someone, and Riku was just scared of losing someone again. I could relate to that.

"Why do you keep bringing that up?!" he demanded suddenly, slamming a palm into the wheel. "You know—I don't—I'm probably remembering wrong. It was always just the three of us, right? Just you, me, and her. There _wasn't_ anyone else."

"Riku, yes there _w_—"

"You're probably making him up."

I stopped dead. "Him?" _I swear to god, Riku, if you're fucking with me…_

There was a sullen silence on the driver's side. "Well it…it was," he said finally. Then he let out a sigh I recognized too well and I thanked the stars we were at a red light. "I didn't—I _should've_—!"

And everything made sense.

"Riku, there's nothing you could have done to protect him."

"You don't know that," he spat angrily.

I waited a moment, thinking that one over. "No, I don't," I admitted finally. "But I know there wasn't anything I could've done to stop Kairi from getting kidnapped, either. How do you stop something if you have no idea what it is or when it's going to happen? You can't, Riku."

There was a sullen silence in the driver's seat. "I guess you're right," he said in a way that told me he wasn't agreeing at all but taking things in another direction, and sure enough— "But that just makes my point. As long as Kairi's close to us, she's going to be in danger."

"Kairi's never going to be far from us. You know better than that. And even if she—"

"That's _not_—"

"Wait, ev—"

"—what I'm—"

"_Riku_."

An irritated sigh.

"Even if she _weren't_ close to us anymore, how long is that gonna last? We don't know how long this Service thing has to go on for, it could be years! Are we gonna abandon her for that long?"

"We _aren't_ abandoning her, we're _taking care_ of her!" Riku insisted forcefully, shooting me a glare. "You know what we're dealing with! She doesn't! And I've already come so close to losing you so many times…!"

"Okay—okay, calm down…" I gripped his shoulder tightly, trying to catch a glimpse of his face even as he struggled not to meet my eyes. "Should you be driving lik—?"

"I'm fine."

"Fine. Look, Riku, I'm just saying…this is Kairi we're talking about," I reminded him, almost chuckling her name fondly. "If you keep pushing her away, she's only gonna chase you farther."

He frowned at the steering wheel like he held it responsible, and then let out a deep sigh. "…Yeah." There was a long moment as we both kind of absorbed the situation, turned it over in our minds, and then he started into a right. "But I'm still breaking up with her. I won't tell her why."

"Riku, that's not _fair_—"

"I'll give her a reason, but I won't tell her why. She'll do that chasing thing you mentioned."

I hesitated, feeling almost like a child facing his parents' divorce. "…You know, she…might not take you back after that. This might be the end, if you really…"

Silence.

"…I know."

* * *

Author's Note: WHOOPS! Sorry for the tardiness, guys. I totally had this up and ready to post yesterday and then forgot I hadn't already posted.

Anyway. SO I TOTALLY HAVEN'T WORKED ON THIS AT ALL. Go me. vv; But I'm not about to break a promise, this is KH after all, and I _should_ be able to at least get through another chapter before posting the next.

The fun part: does a lot of the stuff in this chapter not make sense to you? Guess what. Me either! 8D We'll find out together~!


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